A drive-by Cunting for B.T.
I’m currently being deluged with both recorded and live calls from Cunts claiming to be about to cut my internet off. Obvious bollocks.
I’m on that Telephone Preference Service, but still getting them. Now, what really fucks me off is that, in this day and age,with all the technology available to B.T., it must be possible for them to shut these Cunts down. I rather suspect that if B.T. was losing money over these calls,a solution would be found pretty fucking quickly.
Fuck them.
Nominated by Dick Fiddler
Off work for two days. Feel like dogshit. Colds are cunts.
8
Colds are indeed cunts but at least it will give you time to sit back and enjoy the fantastic pictures from the insight lander on mars and ask the question
We can send a lander to mars and get HD pictures but have been completely unable to sort out the common cold
It’s like nobody wants to destroy the multi billion dollar cold (remedy) business?😂
Surely a case for isac favourite spivey to investigate?
8
When I have spare time I love adopting a thick Indian, South African, doddery old Major or Chinese accent and fucking with these con-artists.
My record for keeping one on the phone who told me my computer had a ‘wirus’ was just under half and hour. On that occasion I was the doddery old Major and I kept asking the caller ‘was he in the war’?
17
Classic stuff !!
When I could be bothered my lines were….
Cold caller …. is that mr Q ?
Q….. I’m afraid he’s not here, he’s away
Cc…. when is he due back?
Q…. about 5 years
Cc… 5 years!
Q… yes he’s in prison for killing a phone canvasser
Cc….. ( click)
My wife used to put her hand over her mouth to stop laughing……..
Annoying cunts!!!!
19
They also handily have no record of the “unknown” callers who invade your privacy on a daily basis.
Funny that, cos if I call from a landline or mobile and prefix the call with 141 (which is *supposed* to anonymise the call, i.e., you appear as “unknown” to the callee) and Plod wants the actual details of that call, BT can magically find out who *that* caller was!?!
So it’s ok when Big Brother needs the info but not when private individuals need the info when these scammers’ activities are tantamount to harassment! They mysteriously “have no record”.
Try ringing a twansbendah or “peaceful” using 141 and call them a cunt. Within 5 minutes plod would be through your door and it’s off to chalky for you for 40yrs for hate speech!
Cunts!
11
Update
I actually took the trouble to report these calls to both Ofcom and B,T. I had two instances where I rang 1471 and got a number which I reported.along with the time, on the on-line “report nuisance calls”….made no fucking difference.
I don’t mind the “live” male ones so much,they seem to be Indians. I like to play along with them for a while and then ask them if they’re a part of the family who molested and killed their daughter over some “Honour” matter. As they consider the implications of my innocent question, I follow up by asking if they’ve got any photos. That normally sets them going and I’ll give then their dues,some of them can swear as hard as me. I’ve had one who rang back several times to continue the swopping of insults…..I rather liked him.
Fuck them.
22
Bloody hell DF. The worst treatment ive given them was waste their time by cryptically suggesting my electricity was free. I was given it via the ‘dark energy’ out in space.
4
I did a foolish thing and opened the e-mail from BT. It has cost me dearly. It was reported, and as Dick says BT are aware but have chosen to do fuck all. The Police are fucking useless and will not even take a statement. I was given a crime number which is ( to this day ) still not being investigated. I am not technically savvy. In opening the BT mail I allowed in something called a crawler which instructed my computer to give access to the sender. The e-mail was very authentic, and even my neighbour could not see the difference. So fucking clever. I now do not open e-mails, which makes having the facility a complete fucking nonsense. Good cunting Dick. The fucking poxy bastards deserve a flaming onion up the ringpiece!
4
I had fun with one of those “you were involved in an accident” calls. As always, I told the person their script was crap and that there were other jobs out there. The young lady,with her thick Liverpudlian accent started to argue with me and then I ended the call. Two minutes later she called me back and told me I was a cunt.
If I was an employer I would offer her a job! She had real spirit and I like that!
14
When I get one of those “you were involved in an accident that wasn’t your fault” calls I just ask them “what’s my name?” Silence……call over!
7
Six dog maybe your throwing good money away?
Maybe not ……..
4
Told them I’d pranged the Bentley, please send cheque for 3347, 894.
Oddly, didn’t get a bean. Wank-wallahs…
Remember Busby ? How could anyone forget Busby ?
2
Can be the highlight of one’s day; trading insults with Johnny Foreigner over the phone. My fave was the message informing me that my house was under surveillance cos I owed loads of tax. I rang the number contained in the message and had an interesting conversation with some cunt pretending to be a tax inspector. I played along for a while then asked him what was his department number and who was his line manager (just a load of bollocks I thought up on spur of moment) he became agitatated and informed me that my government gave him the authority. I then said OK fuck off and boil your head, he actually screamed down the phone that I was a cunt. I hung up 1 nil. For the rest of the day at 10 min intervals I rang the number hopefully they got a bit pissed off.
8
Do any cunters want a top deal on solar panels? Let me know and I will pass your number on.
6
Ah yes fresh Pesh from Bangladesh masquerading as Thomas trying to sell you shit you don’t need or even want, scamming cunts, I take great delight in wasting as much of their time as I can and its especially satisfying if I can get the cunts to swear….win fucking win….
6
Nick Ferrari currently talking up the idea of letting the Isis girl back into the country. Cunt.
5
Not quite. He is trying to understand why 400+ men who went over have been allowed back.
3
Past tense and separate point, and also the line the ball washing cunt lawyers are taking – ma hooman wights.
And he is talking it up. You can play devils advocate on most topics but this isn’t one of them. Fuck him and fuck anyone else who sympathises with this. 400 mistakes made is not a reason to make another.
3
Your last sentence puts an end to any argument. Bang on.
“Tolerance and apathy are the last virtues of a dying society”….
Aristotle…..
Heard that in school and it stuck, as did V = I x R, don’t know why…
2
Clearly, you haven’t met my manager who should’ve had an OBE by now for major cockups.
2
My mother, who is 86 and has lived on her own since my dad died seven years ago, must hold some kind of record for the relentlessness and sheer volume of “cold calls”.
She is also fiercely independent, and would (I suspect) regard any reliance on “calling preference services”, “Call Guard™” (etc) as a form of weakness, and she continues to tough it out the old-fashioned way.
I have tried to convince her otherwise; whenever I visit, I am struck anew by the outrageous number of call she receives – probably half a dozen daily. She’s not having any if it, however, and has clearly got accustomed to this shit over the last decade or two, and doesn’t regard it as a problem.
Around three years ago, I was unable to get through for more than 24 hours, as her phone was constantly engaged. When I realised she wasn’t merely having some kind of telephonic marathon, and something was wrong, I got worried and called one of her neighbours (she lives far away from me, my brother or sister.)
The neighbour called round, and all was well. An investigation quickly revealed that the afternoon before , she had been rather unusually brusque with a cold-calling-cunt. He could doubtless tell that she was an elderly lady, and had decided to “teach her a lesson”. When this initial call ended, he then made a second nuisance call, saying nothing, but intentionally did not disconnect for ~24 hours, thereby keeping the line open.
My complaints to BT were disappointingly but predictably pointless (despite this being a fairly serious offence: mum would have been unable to call out in an emergency). They are indeed utterly useless and negligent cunts.
I therefore tracked down the perpetrator using my own “resources”, ahem, and rapidly pinpointed the mischief. Needless to say there was a satisfyingly negative outcome for the telemarketing firm, and the individual miscreant in particular.
My mum still isn’t having it with call screening, but I immediately bought her a large, noisy mobile which is permanently on-charge.
A very valid cunting, DF.
9
My nan had a telemarketer tell her to ‘go and die, old bitch’ after she politely told him ‘no thanks’.
Glad you managed to exact some revenge, C.S. it’s nice when you have some form of resource to give incompetent/annoying lackeys in an otherwise faceless and inscrutable company a bollocking.
6
Cold calling to landlines has already peaked, though it’s on the increase to mobile numbers. My mum says she’s been getting less incoming flak over the last few years (and she’s probably a better weather-vane than Ofcom’s official data!)
It was indeed satisfying to be able to “exact revenge”. I’m not going into those details here, obviously, but think Focus 112 and Opus-“type” systems (qG), together with some friends in low places, and all perfectly lawful….
I paid a visit to the telemarketing office in person, “armed” with a fairish but of telecoms intel, and much personal background info about the owners of the firm. When the manager realised I was not Police (which he had initially assumed), he became incredible malleable and compliant, if not scared witless. (He later paid my highish travelling expenses.)
The
fucking arsewipeemployee responsible sang like a canary, and was pitifully apologetic and frightened. He was sacked on the spot, of course, and actually wet himself slightly, as his profusely apologetic and grovelling manager and I escorted him off the premises.Satisfying indeed, and life will never be quite the same for that soft cunt. Information really is power, Cuntamus.
4
Although an anti-BBC clip try looking up Sean Lock’s ‘Wrong number Prank’. Must try doing that one day.
Must also learn how to do ‘links’, lazy cunt that I am.
2
Surprised BT have had so few cuntings, Mr Fiddler.
My dad used to work alongside a lot of BT personnel when they were installing fibre optics around Gatwick. He said the engineers were good blokes but most of the managers and supervisors seemed to be intent on costing BT enormous sums through sheer incompetence and arrogance.
That’s on top of the shite they deliver on the customer satisfaction end.
3
Valid cunting indeed, Mr Fiddler. I concur wholeheartedly.
BT are the biggest pile of shite around. I also signed us up for the Telephone Preference Service and what is the fucking point? We also still get those Indian fuckers claiming that they are from Microsoft and that their name is ‘James’ (which I find ludicrously hilarious……do they think that an anglo name will make them appeal more to the people they are harassing?) and that there is something wrong with our internet.
Now my chosen retort is brief and to the point and involves the words ‘fuck’ and ‘off’ but my dear old bear of a Dad says he can’t be that rude to them and hilariously just replies, ‘You are not from Microsoft, now GO AWAY!’ (with a very emphatic ‘go away’)
He is hardcore, my Dad. Don’t mess with him.
Not only are BT cunts because they cannot sort this fuckery out, but their internet service is also a pile of shit. It is constantly dropping out for no reason whatsoever. Last year it was down here for days on end as some useless fucker had supposedly ‘cut through the cables during the Crossrail construction’.
‘British Telecom’? More like ‘Bullshite Tossers’.
2
Morning Dick. A fine cunting, sir!
Over here in Yankland we have the Do Not Call register. The theory is you register your number(s) and the mere presence of your number(s) on this register means telemarketers/cold callers/etc. cannot use your number(s). Does it work? Does it fuck!
When I first moved here ‘phone books were still a thing as was having a land line. The scam back then was, if you wanted to be ex-directory you had to pay a fee to the ‘phone company not to list you. Yes, you read that correctly. Bastards!
3
The Telephone Preference Service is bollocks. We’ve been on it for years, both with our landline and mobiles, and yet we still get deluged by phone calls from cunts trying to sell us conservatories, financial services and other assorted bullshit. The worst was some Scottish energy company trying to get us to sign up to a smart meter. Both my wife and I were getting up to a dozen calls each, per day, from the cunts. They would not take no for an answer, even when outright told to fuck off, and they just another number when we blocked the previous one. What DID stop them, was the legal action we took against them for harassment. Eighteen hundred in compensation we got. Eventually. It took them seven months to pay out, and that was after a visit from a court enforcement officer. The biggest problem with the TPS, is that most of the cold calling firms have call centres outside the UK, and so and are not subject to our rules and laws.
2
Terrific bit of cunting Mr F. BT is indeed the pits.
2
I get these calls regularly from people saying they’re from BT and that my security is compromised by someone in the States. I used to ask what my BT account number was, if they knew that then I’d believe them. They would say they knew my IP address and this, that and the other, but of course none could come up with the account number.
Now I ask them if they’re a christian, and they always say yes. Then I ask them where they were baptised and who was the minister who performed the baptism. They start to flounder at this point. I explain that there are many scam artists but I can trust them if they are a member of the faith and follow Jesus. This continues until I get bored or they give up..
5
Next to my home phone I keep a referee’s whistle and ear defenders.
I’ve used it numerous times, and chuckle at the expletives being aimed at me afterwards.
4
I have a ship’s foghorn beside my phone. Admittedly, I also go deaf when I blow into it, but it has the desired effect of f*cking unwanted callers off!
5
And their rural broadband is useless even though prices keep going up and up.
3
Me and the Mrs spend a lot of time in Poland. Now you would think when it comes to technology the Polaks would be far behind . WRONG. They have very fast broadband speeds every where . Some years ago they upgraded their entire telecommunications infrastructure. Not only is it fast but half the cost of what we pay here.
1
Paid for by an EU grant (e.g. UK taxpayer’s money) no doubt.
2
More likely paid by all the bastards over here sending their pay home.
2