Have you got a Nectar card? Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! I havn’t got a Nectar card becuase I’m not a complete numpty cunt!
I don’t know how many shops do this Nectar card thing, as I don’t really ‘shop’ in chain stores but one place that does do it and has its staff following a script every time I use it is BP. Every single time I use any of their outlets around the country I get the dreaded question..
“Have you got a Nectar card?”
Arrrrrrrrgghhh. No! They just can’t help it! I’ve even asked them why they do it and they all say they’re told to, so it’s part of their job description! Its doing me head in Mick!
I’ve tried a badge saying “No, I don’t have a Nectar Card” but they don’t get it and still ask. Even when I’ve been in the same outlet multiple times in one week and denied owning a Nectar Card, they still ask me if I’ve got one!
Sometimes when they ask I just say ‘Yes’ and stand there like a cunt. They just stand there waiting for me to produce it. Fun for 15 seconds..
This cunting goes for the whole spy card / tracking card / store card bull that poeple buy into. These things are there for a purpose and that’s to extract maximum profits from the blind sheep that use them at every purchase to assist the corporate blood suckers in their data collection profit increasing programme.
Have I got a Nectar Card? Fuck off!
Nominated by CuntryCunt
I’ve got one…
Waste of fucking time, wallet space &c.
Do you ever get vouchers to a specific GBP value to spend on ANYTHING you want (like Tesco send out)??
Like fuck. The tempting offer of double air miles when you can’t afford to go anywhere, in any case. 10% off tinned prunes (if you buy 24 tins, that is…). Same as M&S Sparks card. I have NEVER been offered ANYTHING I actually want. Because I’m on their “system” as being over 54, I do, however, get offers for shit-brown cords and chinos. I guess they’ll start trying to flog me a funeral package soon.
In Switzerland, Migros (the local “geant orange/orange giant – even the same shade as Sainsbury’s) sent cash equivalent vouchers out. By Christmas, 300 Francs’ worth would come in very handy. And Swiss Coop would occasionally surprise you at the till by saying “You’ve collected x hundred points; you could pay for that wine with the points, instead of cash, if you like. Much more meaningful, even if you know damn well they could easily afford to give every customer a crate of cheap plonk… Over here, it just seems to be a way of offloading old toss.
I’ve got a “Get out of Broadmoor free” card…
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You know Switzerland well HBH. I wonder do they do discounts at Dignitas?
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8 happy years there…
I’d go back at the drop of a hat, if I had the necessary dosh…
Dunno about Dignitas discounts, but the fact that the country ever had a decent debate about self-deliverance always impressed me.
They’d have their work cut out just dealing with the tv talent show walking corpses…
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Fond memories of Migros in Ankara, HBH, and I never realised it was a Swiss company; thought it was German, or maybe I just forgot (unlikely)… hmm!
There was a 3-M Migros on the Eskişehir Road which was superb, though the 2-M Migros on Uğur Mumcu caddesi near home was a bit shite.
On the expensive side too, and the huge Real in Bilkent was far better in every way, as was the Beğendik at Kocatepe. Best value was the markets in Ulus, and the more down-to-earth Canerler chain.
Not a “loyalty card” to be seen in any of the above, happily, though probably rife now.
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Migros slightly whiffy with hypocrisy, CS – set up by a rich cunt from Zuueeerich who didn’t want his plebby customers drinking or smoking; to this day, nary a bottle of booze or a fag (of the baccy variety) in a Migros shop.
The DVD of his life story has a pic of him on the front swilling from a huge (naff) ballon of cognac, and smoking a cigar like a camel’s prick.
They got round it by buying out Denner, which has excellent selection of both.
As the old playground song had it:
Denner Denner Denner Denner
Denner Denner Denner Denner
FATCUNT !!
Who said the Swiss were humourless…
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Der Herr Denner sounds rather like Max Grundig (qG), of valve radio fame, and cut from the same yarn, so to say. I’ll have to Google the old twat when time allows.
I always bought my TEKEL 2000 fags from the nearest bâkkal, and my (plenteously patronised) alcohol dealer was either SETUR (a duty-free bond store in Ulus for accredited diplomats) or, latterly, the Australian Wine and Brandy Corporation (with whom HM’s Ankara mission developed a joyful, enduring –though dangerous – “relationship” courtesy of myself)… so I never noticed Migros’s reticence in those arenas of commerce.
Interesting details, HBL, and teşekkür ederim.
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My missus literally begged me to use a Nectar card when I shop in Sainsbury’s. Naturally I fought fiercely against such an absurd notion, but eventually succumbed.
Needless to say, it’s the only card I have, or am ever likely to have, till death do me part. My points are currently worth £35.90.
This country is finished.
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I fear you are correct, with your parting comment RTC, as each day passes the country becomes a more un-bearable place to be.
I ask the question, but don’t want the answer, where will it all end ?
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T.C.I.F. is my catchphrase Mr Alcatraz.
© RTC 2018
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I stand corrected RTC, much better than “nice to see you”
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Rest assured you had nothing to stand corrected about Mr Alcatraz.
Be seeing you… (my 1960s catchphrase)
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Isn’t it a bit like those Embassy cigarette vouchers your auntie Vie used to collect ? By the time she had enough to buy a tea pot she had terminal Lung Cancer.
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Evening Fenton – no, it actually works like real money, to spend on anything in any store signed up to Nectar.
It’s not fucking Green Shield stamps you know.
PS: I used to take great pleasure in throwing away my No.6 coupons…
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The amount of fuel I use on a monthly basis makes it worthwhile for me.
It may a fraction of fuck all each time but over a year when the Xmas shop comes and I redeem them it dun’arf put a dent in the bill at the end of the receipt.
Xmas just gone the £200 bill (literally for 2 days) – lots of booze in that, hic – was paid for by Nectar.
That said, I shudder to think how much fuel cost it took to amass that amount of Nectar.
I claim handsomely per mile anyway, so fuck it! 😘
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It’s all a con anyway. Spend £20 and you receive 20 points which is 10p, I believe. Then they give you a voucher saying “Triple points next time!” Wow, my 10p raises to 30p. What shall I purchase with my new-found wealth? Half a fucking apple?
Psh. Get fucked.
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Rest assured Captain, I NEVER buy anything just to get the points. Sadly can’t say the same for the missus…
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RTC, last time I was in Sainsbury I bought a carton of milk, a box of muesli, an apple, some gin, one small loaf of bread, and some hummus. The checkout bird said, “I bet you live alone.”
“You can tell that from my sad groceries? I asked, amazed.
“No,” she replied, “You’re fucking ugly.”
🗾
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Ha ha – I thought she was going to say “No, you’re a CUNT!”
She might say you’re fucking ugly Capt… I couldn’t possibly comment.
😀
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Ah RTC, as Shakespeare himself said,
“Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.”
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Bloke I knew got sacked from Safeway when a lady came through his checkout with a just a bottle of wine and a cucumber and he asked her if she was having a quiet night in..
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“Have you got a Nectar Card?” is the second worst thing these drippy automatons say, the worst being:
“Do you need any bags?” Well, treacle-tits, I don’t NEED a bag. Perhaps I would like a bag or merely WANT a bag but my life won’t end if I don’t obtain one so ‘need’ is an unnecessary concept.
Psh.
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My wife has a Nectar card. Managed to accrue about £25 or credit.
A few years ago when receiving double the points you can expect to receive today you could use the full amount off of a single shop.
Last time she went in was told a maximum of £5 could be used towards one shop.
Fuck off. Haven’t bothered going to Sainsbury’s since.
Cunts.
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Life is too short to be fannying about with Nectar points.
I was told off recently by a checkout person in Sainsbury’s for not having one “If you spend like that regularly then you should have a Nectar card.” Fuck off and debit my card so I can get out of this hell hole sprung to my mind.
I have no wish to be on Sainsbury’s fucking shopping habits/data mining database.
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I use my son’s old one. They think all the shit I buy is his.
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All these cards are a con. Users of all these cards are supplying free data to the retailer, its suppliers and anybody else. Did you read the T&Cs? Did you fuck.
An example of this data cuntery is a Nest thermostat. Apparently, they come with T&Cs with 1000 clauses. Who reads it? Then a thermostat, yes a thermostat, is monitoring your phone, your location and raping you for data.
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I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or raped for data!
My life is my own! Err… I think…
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Your IP has been logged and your location has been noted 🙂
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I used to have one of them many, many years ago when I was young and dumber. I soon wised up that it was a pile of shite and you needed to collect a million points before you could get your hands on a tacky mug or some other bollocks.
I am currently a Sparks card holder with M&S and that too is a pile of unmitigated, useless cock. I have well over 28,000 points and it has got me fuck all. They claim they send you ‘personalised offers’ to put on your card associated with your spending.
DO THEY FUCK.
All I buy in M&S is food. Their clothing and shoes are extortionate and designed by either Stevie Wonder or some random who has time-machined here from 1962 so I rarely if ever buy anything of that ilk, yet all they even send me are percentages off of dresses, bras or ‘accessories’ that make your neck or ears go green, quality that they are. Basically, the card is pointless. Nothing but a con to push you to buy from their loss-making clothing range.
All of these schemes are steaming horse shite.
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I will try to make the story short, I used to work for a company that bought Nectar on board, as such the people who issue you the points receive a percentage of the point received and get a little Christmas bonus out of it.
Any way I stopped using Sainsbury after an incident with a care in the community checkout girl so no requirement for nectar card….
One bright and sunny day at work I was called into a back office by security, shown some readouts on Nectar transactions, it was quite obvious something was amiss as I had about 4 different companies using the same nectar account (these were rather large contracts, refurbishment of car parks, building housing estates ect) the accumulated points were phenomenal.
To cut to the chase on this, someone had kindly input my nectar card details on about 4 or 5 major firms plus quite a few cash transactions and I was being done for fraud by Nectar!
The meeting took about an hour in which I was able to clear myself and point them in the right direction, I was suspended pending further investigation, reinstated and promoted.
I did however receive a letter from Nectar telling me all the points had been fraudulently claimed and they were closing my account we parted company then and there.
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