AlBeebistan [23]

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A Public Service Announcement.

Audience members required.
BBC radio and television are seeking volunteers to watch, in the studio, various comedy and panel shows. These will include Mock the Week and Have I Got News for You on TV as well as various R4 comedies such as The News Quiz.
Refreshments and light reading matter will be provided (Organic hummus, the Guardian)
The successful applicant will:
Laugh uproariously at each and any attempt at comedy, however pathetic.
Copiously piss themselves at any mention of Brexit, Rees-Mogg, Boris Johnson. (special hygienic easy-wipe seating provided)
Evacuate their bowels at any reference or impersonation of Donald Trump.

Applications including postcode to the Director General, BBC.
Please note. For logistical reasons we are unable to take anyone residing outside the M25.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

31 thoughts on “AlBeebistan [23]”

  2. Well cunted, Cunstable.

    I stopped having a tv years ago and “acquire” anything I want from t’internet. We can endlessly complain about the BBC but unless we stop funding the pompous institution it won’t change. It’s become for worse in the last few years – obsessively pc, fastidiously left-leaning, and of course fanatically anti-Brexit.

    Occasionally I catch some whilst visiting but I cringe at its appalling lack of originality. Bereft of comedy, deficient if objectivity, and unwatchable. If it were a beloved Springer Spaniel pet that was unable to see it hear or hear and would limp the rest of its painful life in agony, you’d have to put the fucker down.

    • *unable to see or hear…

      Sorry. I’m trying to hang a door and my fingers are like a BBC Comedy writer – tired and useless.

      • Too right, CF. I wish I’d done what you did years ago. It’ll only become worse. I read and see massive trouble in France almost every day but on ALBBC ….nothing. How kind of them to protect us and filter the news.

        The last thing I acquired was the Christmas Agatha Christie (I like a bit of Panto). It’d been turned into an immigrant lovefest with all the good people ➡ Belgians (or brown) immos and all the bad people ➡ yep, white English. Sigh.

        It’s like the Orwell’s Newspeak Dictionary but for tv.
        Fuck the licence.

      • How do you rate ‘Little Dorrit’, set in a modern estate, Little D an empowered feminist, cast BAME and speech defects, frequent jocular references to the unenlightened author of the original…? …more detail lacking as switched off rapidly. R4, last week.

      • Oh no, really?

        Old Charlie has been pretty lucky with adaptations in my opinion, they’re fairly loyal. There was a superb film of Dorrit with Alec Guinness and a fairly faithful tv series six or seven years ago. It’s certainly one of his best books.

        Perhaps the PC police have him in their laser targets.
        A Tale of Two Cities: Islamabad & Baghdad.
        Bleak House: South Africans living in a black (pronounced Bleke) house in East London.
        Nicholas Nickelby: A poor Polish child is cruelly attacked up his wicked British teacher.
        Oliver Twist: Romanian child forced to burgle by nasty British man….

        etc

    • I have no telly and thus no license. My life is so much better. No BBC propaganda, no half caste children bor to white mothers and some darker man in every advert. Cunters, throw your tv away, save £145 a year and be cunted by other more important things.

      xxx

      • Hear hear Iwouldnot. The propaganda and anti English pro eu rhetoric broadcast via the idiot lantern on a daily basis is a real piss boiler.
        Turn off the tv and go do something less boring instead.

  3. Al Beeb, fucking sub impartial cunts!

    I had a reply to one of my complaints this week closely followed by an invitation to take part in a survey from BBC Audience Services… to ask ‘how i got on’ and ‘how they can improve’

    I did the survey, gave them my honest thoughts….. I doubt they will ask again!

    Cunts!

    I saw something on the news about Owen fucking Jones getting harassed near the house of commons, I bet a pound to a fucking penny the obnoxious little cunt went there specifically to get the obtuse so he could post it online….. look at me, i am being bullied…… fucking lttle cunt.

    • * Owen fucking Jones getting harassed near the house of commons,*

      Probably going cottaging with the New Labour pansies who mince around there, looking for Mandy & Miranda’s special gloryhole

  5. I barely watch the BBCunts any more. The only thing I watch is ‘EastEnders’ on the iplayer on my laptop (Yes, I know that EE is gorilla shite but it is the TV equivalent of Crack for me, sadly)

    Occasionally they spew out the odd interesting documentary or music bio, but the rest is pure, unmitigated cuntery. They broadcast a pile of turd like ‘Strictly come Cunting’ and other vacuous, cheap shite TV and they also shove their political persuasions in our faces every five minutes. I can’t be doing with that. If I want to see weak, lefty opining and soft soaping of supposed ‘minorities’ I can walk down any London street. Fuck having it shoved in my face when I am at home.

    BBC = Ball-less Babying Cunts.

  6. The BBC might become impartial when we’re all muslim, vegan transsexuals watching women’s football 24/7….

  7. Problem with BBC is very simple, the cunts can do what they like as they have constant access to a money tree. Take money tree away in two weeks BBC would be the same as all the other commercial channels their constant libtard bollocks would be gone faster than an illeagal on a pedalo. Until the bastards have to justify every penny spent and lose viewers because the majority are sick of the biased cunts the noble BBC will carry on as a paragon of snowflake, libtard shite.

  10. Not so sure as Sly news are almost as bad now. Great isn’t it, two 24 hour rolling news channels and both overwhelmingly snowflake. Kay Burley is a detestable loudmouth bully but in her mind is a confident modern chic woman. Adam Boulton is a smug remaining fat cunt.

  13. Apparently another company has just launched a sharia compliant mortgage. What the fuck?. If these goat rapists want to buy a house here, legally, they should do it as the rest of us do.

    Can you imagine the bank of Ali-Baba in downtown Baghdad offering UK style mortgages. Aye, I thought not.

    This is not a fucking mudslime country!!!

    • Who is it? They should be named and shamed and boycotted by all right thinking people

  14. No incessant trailers?
    No incessant trailers for Radio 4 Extra, which is digital, so not in your area?
    No incessant Brexit, ponderously slanted towards Remain or not?
    No rap/grime/hiphop/ ? Under any pretext?
    No little groups of wimminz chattering about fuck-all?
    The bare minimum of effnics?
    Less than one review of a book by a Holocaust survivor (or similar reminder) per week?
    Even, sometimes, some decent music and plays?
    Cunters at large, I give you Radio 3. Until BBC management notices.

    • Radio 3 is bearable but no where like what it was 30 or more years ago. In December, after “Choral Evensong” and “Choir and Organ”, the announcer wished me a “happy holiday season”.
      I was quite cross. Piers Burton-Page would NEVER have said that. Nor Richard Baker neither.

      • Nothing is like it was 30 years ago. Even I’m not…

        Choir and Organ – all organ last week – is great, and I only discovered it while looking for an alternative, any bloody alternative, to inclusive girlies with lithpth yattering on R4. As usual. If the price is to be wished a happy holiday season, so be it. At least ‘happy’ survived the PC.

  15. “Wireless Auntie Belinda” has decided to rename Have I Got News For You as “WALOOB” – What A Load Of Old Bollocks.

    Ian Hislop is a slapped-baby’s -arse-faced cuuuunt.

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