Wanky haircuts

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Men who grow their beards and shave the sides of their heads are cunts.
I don’t fully understand why, maybe it’s the Alf Garnett in me, but each time I see one I am gripped by a raging hurricane of detonating hatred.

If I may quote one of the esteemed cunters here: “my fist, your ear, cunt”.

It’s my understanding that young men in the pursuit of a good rutting are under the severely misguided impression that looking like this will attract women. So much so that they are paying hairdresser prices.

Barbers these days must be pissing themselves laughing every day at these mathematically challenged cum-garglers.

So I ask of you my fellow cunters, let us discuss and explore the deplorable character of the idiot with a beard and an undercut.

Nominated by cuntflap

45 thoughts on “Wanky haircuts”

  1. Looks like a homosexual Robinson Crusoe.
    ” Bum me Friday ! ”
    ” I bum you every day of the week if you wants Massa ! ”
    Cunt.

  2. Hello Cuntflap. Can I open the discussion by saying he looks as though he’s been prepared for a lobotomy. But then I realised he can’t have a fucking brain if he chooses to look like that. Fucking shirt lifter haircut.

  3. Apart from the cornrows which I fucking hate saw the wankiest hair style ever last week.

    A sad looking fat guy probably in his 20’s (with the compulsory tattoos obviously) who had a completely shaved head, apart from about a two inch square of very short hair on the back of his head, from which sprouted a platted ponytail.

    Cunt.

  4. Morning all.
    The guy in the picture looks like me after a weekend on the piss!
    Seriously I find it a very strange look but I suppose that it’s just the latest in a long line over the years. I think back to my youth in the 60s and 70s. Guys were walking about then looking like a perambulating haystack, then we had fucking perms and mullets; now there was a cunt indeed.
    This shave and sweep over look seems popular with the birds as well, tho they make it even worse by dyeing the long hair some bizarre colour of the rainbow.
    Perhaps I’m just getting old, but some of them just look like right cunts.

  5. These modern, millennial arseholes with the wanky haircuts invariably have body piercings or studs about the fizzog. I draw your attention to the stud in the above cunt’s tragus (I looked it up), not even in the fucking lobe like a normal poof. And these young cunts with nose rings look like they should be led to market and sold for burgers. I don’t mind tongue studs though, as they are invariably worn by lesbians for oral stimulation purposes (as displayed on Xhamster and Pornhub). However, I think the ultimate metal head decoration for this type of cunt would be a 10 inch cold chisel through the forehead and out the back of the skull. It would look really edgy on the autopsy table. Bunch of cunts.

    • As Travolta descibed Rosanna Arquette in “Pulp Fiction”…….

      “The one with all the shit in her face.”

    • Or an American helmet, with an electrode and a saline-spoaked sponge…Roll one !

      Gok Wan is an anagram of go wank, btw…

  6. You cant beat a quiff and a topknot. It shouts out CUNT !! without any other proof required.

    • I particularly like the diamond bling around the edge of the earring. Cunt will look great when he’s 70 and a Grandad. The cunt.

    • He should avoid travelling on the tube. If it braked suddenly, someone might grab onto the handle to avoid falling over.

    • Looks like a normal member of society, most probably lgbqtsgvx+ and in a relationship with its Goldfish.
      We have to be more accepting in these modern times.

      • The cunt probably identifies as a fuckin battleship or something, hence all the rivets.
        Wouldn’t surprise me in these times….

  9. Cunts trying to make a statement – “look at me and my haircut. Ain’t I totally cool, kids!”

    And then you get the semi-bald cunts with the combovers. What is the fucking point in that? You’re just making yourself a bigger cunt than you would be if you just went for the total slaphead look (which is far more acceptable these days)

    Gone are the days when blokes popped into the barbers for a 15 minute SB&S. Today it’s more like 60 minutes of preening, pampering, shaping and curling.

    A sad sign of the times.

  10. They think they’re being so edgy and individual with a sleeve tatoo down one arm. Go in any city centre pub on a Saturday night and every twat has one. Oh yeah, very individual isn’t you soppy cunts.

  11. When I was young I had shoulder-length hair, before it became commonplace. I got a lot of stick for it but I didn’t give a shit. A person’s hairstyle is their business and no-one else’s and I thought that any style at all was valid, from being completely shaven to having hair down to the knees. It’s only hair! I thought that no-one’s style could bother me, that is until young fellas started having pudding basin cuts. I have to admit it really irritated me, I couldn’t believe that they actually paid money to make themselves look like complete twats. So it turns out I wasn’t as tolerant as I thought I was.

  12. Back in the late ’60s /’70s I sported the long, straggly, greasy, unwashed hair look (tits length) which I was extremely proud of. When in 1978 I decided to cut it down to earlobe length, my then fiancé was horrified! She left me 6 months later for an even bigger cunt.

    Next, in the early 80s, I grew a full Charlie Manson style beard, just to see what would happen. It stank of stale tab smoke, etc, so after a year or so it had to go, though never one to waste anything I incorporated the discarded hairs into a piece of revolutionary art I was working on at the time. It currently hangs in the withdrawing room at Creampuff Manor.

    Since then I have been relatively normal hairwise. Despise facial hair, tattoos and jewellery of any kind (no wedding ring). Cannot abide the hairdresser either… go every 6 or 7 months if the wife is lucky… shave only when the stubble starts to irritate… am a bit of a fucking washout if truth be known.

    That cunt in the header picture needs beheading.

    • And don’t get me started on piercings or body ‘art’ of ANY description!

      Steaming pile of cuntage.

      • ESPECIALLY those fucking revolting snot-hanger nose-rings & particularly those absolutely foul, retch inducing “septum peircings” Utter, utter, UTTER…. CUNTS.

  13. There was this fat cunt in Bury town centre the other day… Millennial student type (naturally), and he had a ridiculous Pebbles Filntstone type pony tail thing coming out of the top of his stupid shaved head and two more coming out of each side… Add to that those horrible giant hoop ‘tribal’ earring piercing monstrosities… Also had a Harry Potter backpack (a sure fire sign) and was a complete cunt… Probably takes it up the cadbury alley and all…. I also hate cunts who have that stupid luminous dyed hair… It’s tacky and it looks cheap… I especially can’t stand grown men who have stupid light up coloured hair and daft wimmin past 25 who have it and who should know better… The not at all like that and very lovely Mrs Norman said that I had a ‘low opinion of people’… No, light of my life, I replied… I just have a very low opinion of millennials and cunts, which are the same thing usually… She just smiled… As Hyllda Baker would say, ‘She knows yer know’….

  14. I can remember when I was a nipper that me old dad cut my hair once and the rotten fecker did it round a pudding basin it was fecking horrendous i looked a right cunt, my old mother went bat shit mad at him for doing it and i was marched down to ‘chopper joe’ the barber, who was really called H Horrel, “something for the weekend sir?”

  15. my old man used to use that Brylcream stuff. Don’t know if its still around these days, but even to this day I can still smell that horrible petrol smell when he used to slap it all over his barnet and comb it out. He looked a right greaser with that shit on his head, but he didn’t seem to care

  16. As I’ve said before… The skinhead is the only timeless hair cut. White cunts, black cunts…its the only haircut you won’t look back on in 10 years and think what a cunt I looked like. I’m sometimes glad I’ve gone a bit bold on top as it’s stopped from having a cunt hair do. Piss off.

  17. Talking abaaaht cunt haircuts what is it with Mediterranean type men who have this long hair and beard type shit? They look like cunts from the eighties.
    https://goo.gl/images/4crdTe
    It’s like white British footballers who go abroad always grow their hair like some sissy cunt and then become sissy cunts on the pitch. I swear when they get a little kick and roll around with all that long hair they con the ref. Hernan Crespo you cunt.

  18. Whilst the chap in the top pic does indeed look like a right cunt, does he look worse than someone with an 80’s mullet?
    I guarantee that anyone who was young in the 80’s had one, myself included. This pic of Pat Sharp’s hair was exactly the same as mine in 1987, aged 15…what the fuck was I thinking?
    https://goo.gl/images/mHD94f

    • Mullets… Glad to say I never had one… Hard to say who had the worst one… There was ubercunt Bonio, Chris Waddle, Billy Ray Cyrus, the aforementioned Pat Sharp, Paul McCuntney, Linda McCuntney, most of Duran Duran, all of Spandau Bellends, Paul Young, too many other footballers and cricketers… Let’s just give it to Bonio, as he’s the biggest cunt…

    • Proper newsmen.. Richard Baker, Peter Woods, Sandy Gall… Not the box ticking lezzas and ‘ethnics’ they have on today… Always fancied a go at Anna Ford when I was a lad…

    • More skill in a couple of seconds than in the whole acting lives of Bendyprick Cuntibum, Colin Fart, Daniel Ratclit, Emmaaaah Twatson et al. put together.

    • How appropriate that Bruges is in Belgium….
      Berlaymont, oddly, is also in Belgium.
      A lot of cunts there…
      Beautiful clip, btw

  21. The more crap these cunts adorn themselves with, tattoos, piercings, body modification, plastic surgery and Botox, the less memorable they are as people. It usually is the most interesting thing about the cunts, and it’s not even remotely interesting. Sheep that think they are wolves, usually just sad cunts in need of a good cwtch.

    Cwtch is welsh for cuddle, and a great word.

  22. From the picture above the title of the nom should have been wonky haircuts. The wonkiness is appropriate because they fit in this skwewed screwed skewiff twisted out of kilta out of plumb bent slanted wonky wanky world.

  23. Still remember having my hair cut when a young lad. Used to go to Tony’s in Seven Kings near the bus garage. Couple of Cypriot guys. Plenty of Bay Rum and 4711 Eau de Cologne.

    Used to have a fringe then. Short back and sides.

    Happy days.

    One of my prattish mates at the time decided to have highlights in his hair. Told him bluntly it made him look like a bloody idiot, fortunately his stupidity gave me the excuse to avoid him.

  24. Right there with you on this one. So many cuntish men’s haircuts these days. My Dad – with his respectable and trad cut hair – is always the first to notice them when we are out and about, usually commenting something along the lines of ‘did you see the state of that prick’s hair?’

    Not so much a haircut as a run in with a fucking Flymo, methinks.

    What the hell possesses these cunts to wish to look like a shaved testicle? What grabs them to go for the Katie Price’s minge hair look on their chins?

    It is well beyond me.

    In saying that, women’s hairdos can be just as bad. What is with the whole trend of lairy, rainbow coloured hair? All that is missing is Geoffrey, Bungle, George and Zippy.

    ‘Paint the whole world with a rainbow’………Yep, and look like a cunt.

  25. It’s the only show of masculinity that hen-pecked, cuckolded, soy-boys get to show these days.

    So the more cuntish the hair-do the more hen-pecked, cuckolded, soy-boy the cunt is!

    There is a Mohawk, hoop-lugged, tatt’ freak at our gaff. If he’d existed in the mid to late ’70’s you would not have gone anywhere near the cunt. However in flake-central times you know that the cunt is pure soy light!

    The cunt was actually in ribbons once in the canteen – being fawned over by the blue-haired feminazis (cos he’s no threat to them – the effeminate cunt) – because his boss (a proper “no nonsense” woman) told him to redo a test spec’ because the written content was barely legible (another bonus of the text speak, FaceCunt, TwitterMong society).

    Don’t get me wrong, nice enough lad who looks hard as nails, but who’s really as hard as trick rubber nails.

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