More millions of public money spent on these parasites. All because Airmiles Andy complained to Mumsy that his bitch should be treated the same as Hewitt’s ginger bastard.
Apparently they are having a piss up at Windsor on Friday night then another all day fuckfest on the Saturday involving bumper cars and other Michael Jacksonesque fairground attractions. Presumably there won’t be any pikeys trying to get their filthy hands up Eugenie’s skirt or shortchanging the poshboys who are not used to handling real money.
What a fucking farce!
Nominated by Freddie the Frog
Sarah Ferguson and Eugenie
A right royal (with optional 40 gun salute) cunting please for this ugly old chavvy ex royal and her pikey looking daughter on the latters wedding day.
For once the BBC has seen sense and is not putting the fucking freeloading heap of bollocks on TV live, so the doyen of tackiness, ITV’s Good Morning has taken over, with no doubt fawning, arsehole licking commentary from Her Royal Highness The Princess Philip Schofield, the queen of camp TV. If ever Limp Wrist becomes an Olympic event Queenie Schofield will win gold for Britain every fucking four years.
However, it seems we are paying millions of pounds so this pikey looking spawn of Airmiles Andy, and his obese ugly ex-wife (who sadly for her was born two centuries too late – she would have made an ideal whore for a King back then, if only Jonathan King to stop the rumours).
No doubt the ever grasping, greedy old cunt will have come to some financial arrangement with ITV for the *rights*, no doubt also tying in with a chav’s gossip magazine and the BBC will spend all the weeks budget on filming the waddle up to the church for the news but why should anyone be interested in the marriage of the ugly daughter of an ex-prostitute who just happened to have had her legs open for one of the ugliest princes Britain has ever produced. If the Ferguson woman was short of money, and Andy too tight to pay up, she should have got Bryant to pay to get his toes sucked by the topless old trollop as a trip down memory lane.
We shouldn’t have to pay for security and processions for the offspring of a shop soiled old has-been hag with the morals of a goat
Nominated by W.C.Boggs
Royal Family Promotional B/S
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m walking with an extra spring in my step after reading the latest bit of royal ‘news’ in ‘The Metro’.
The Duchess of Cambridge has returned to ‘official duties’ (the strain!) and showed that ‘she’s got the royal family’s knack of being thrifty when it comes to clothes’. Kate appeared in the £1,350 Emilia Wickstead dress that (*gulp*!) she first wore in Hamburg last year! As if this isn’t earth-shattering in itself, husband William (*gasp*!) ‘also had on the same suit he wore in the German city’! Lawd lav a dack an’ blow me dahn!
It heart-rending to see royalty taking the lead in these years of grinding austerity. It’s that Dunkirk spirit which so epitomises this great nation and which has seen us through some of the darkest hours in our history. My chest puffs with pride at the notion of being British.
Personally I was moved to tears by the nobility of this sacrifice, as no doubt were the millions on low incomes who face the day-to-day struggle to make ends meet. It’s a real morale booster to know that in these trying times, we truly are, as our great former leader David Cameron once so poetically put it, ‘all in this together’.
Gawd bless yer Sir and Ma’am, yer a hexample to us all.
Nominated by Ron Knee
The Royal family should pay for their own fucking weddings, including all security arrangement costs.
Between the lot of them they can easily afford it.
Fucking shameless parasites.
26
Duchess of Cuntabrigensis in Hamburg, eh ? Cruising the Reeperbahn, no doubt. Hope she pays tax on her earnings…
I wonder how many weeks this will be appearing on the 7 / 8 pm opinion slots ?
4
According to the sycophantic Cunts at sky 100,000 people wanted to be at the wedding?
Oh fucking please!!
Miss piggy junior should count herself lucky if the fucking groom turns up, although he looks a gormless twat so she should be fine.
It’s absolutely outrageous that the tax payer is picking up the reported 2m policing bill for this 3 rd rate royal shitfest!! Surly that useless cunt Andrew and his toe sucking EX fergie should be funding it with a little help from his mummy ?
I’m no fan of the royals but fergie was always my least favourite , A free loading ginger Trollop , apparently the shadow of her arse weighs 40lbs , it’s hardly surprising after all the free lunches the fucking ginger gannet has devoured…
28
“Ginger gannet” too true Q, grasping old munter with a face that’d make an onion cry.
15
She’s a proper ginger moose , it’s funny LL pseudo playboy Andrew did have some decent looking girlfriends then out nowhere he saddled himself with fergie? Shes always been a 10 + Pinter ……
12
More cunts to feed via the public purse. I wonder if they are officially in employment, or are unemployed cunts? If the latter then surely they should be visiting their local job centre to sign on and verify they’re “actively seeking work” !
But they’ll make their millions via Hello magazine and such like. They won’t go short of a bob or two; we might even supply them with a new house/mansion just to keep them in the comfortable surroundings they’ve been used to when they were kids.
And as I said in a previous post on ISAC today, Eugenne is a walking cumbucket; probably takes it up the Gary when she’s had a few; I bet even the Duke of Edinburgh has been up her front gate with Andrew taking care of her back door, while she’s giving Charles a bj!
Fuck ’em!
13
Where are ISIS when you need them?
12
Actually am surprised the libtards haven’t come out to demonstrate, especially with the glaring lack of diversity in this wedding!
7
Naomi Campbell’s there – what more do you want?!
Haven’t clocked any transsexuals, apart from the bride of course.
11
“any OTHER transsexuals,” that should have read…
8
Every now and then my missus wanks me off with her toes.
Sometimes I film it. Got some lovely footage….
24
Well at least they had it on a Friday so it’s a bit cheaper.
See, thinking about the public purse already.
You ungrateful commoners!
8
The Royal Family are still ‘keeping it real’, various grandkids married off to rugby players, actresses, and. whatever the fuck the Duchess of Doolittle did. This cunt flogs wine and only comes from a linage of Baronets the pleb.
8
I reckon Wills has (sort of) got lucky with the most doable and tasty arsed one in Kate… Meg O’ Marple and her family will eventually get found out by Harry Hewitt and Her Majesty The Queen (‘Let one in…’ as they say), and the poor cunt who has to wake up to Eugenie?! I don’t envy the lad, put it that way… Mind you, her dad was four cans short of a six pack… Randy Andy was the stuff of legend in the early 80s, and he rivaled Simon Le Bon and Andrew Ridgley as a fanny magnet in those days… Andy had his pick… Everyone from Koo Stark to a good few Page 3 Girls… But what did the great ladies man settle for? Sarah ‘Yah! Brill!’ Ferguson! If that isn’t conclusive proof that ‘ver royals’ are a wee bit loopy, then I don’t know what is…
14
Koo Stark. Real ‘class’ she had.
6
To be fair to Koo Stark, Miles, I always thought that she showed considerably more “class” than Sarah Ferguson of Diana Spencer. She never said a word in print or on the television about the Royal family.
Those other two,supposedly classy, tarts brought more disgrace to the Royal family than Koo Stark could ever have managed,had she ever been classless enough to try.
10
Didn’t all Starkers appear in an old soft porn film back in the late 70s?
She was certainly more classy than that loopy cow Diana
7
Yep,she did. It was soft porn but the papers went all moralistic on her…”Can’t have a porn star in the Royal Family”…..Fuck me,little did they know just what was lurking, like a ginger behemoth, just over the horizon.
13
Fergie always reminded me of the poster headline from the film Alien – “In space, no one can hear you scream”. Well I guess Andrew felt like that when he woke up the following morning after the wedding, and thought WTF have I done!
Talking of Alien, I rather suspect the alien creature would have run a mile if it saw Fergie on the warpath!
6
Fast forward ten years and none of these reptiles will be together. That divorced Yank will have shat out a couple but he’ll have been spreading it about like an African virus by then; old dim Will and his middle-class gold-digger will be in a loveless nest held together by duty and a heraldic inability for freedom; and this useless sack with her shark-like grinders, will be running a perfunctory PR firm for Mudslime global superstars that displays that “Partly-funded by the EU” poster that all cunty establishments have; the whole Monarchy sit-com will rely on these charisma-bereft nonentities’ ankle-biters to provide for the next generation’s circus.
Well, according to the Hello! magazine’s clairvoyant, Mystic Mag.
12
We have a ‘psychic’ old crone in Manchester too, Captain…
She’s known as Pisstake Peg…
8
If you think the Royal Family are cunts now wait until Her Maj snuffs it ( fuck, what a shitfest of weeping and virtue signalling that will be ) and that babbling, jug eared, retarded chimpanzee takes the throne.
By that time we will have become the absolute pits as a country, overrun by third world savages and governed by poofs and trannies, so I suppose having Charlie Deacon as Head of State will be quite appropriate.
Bring back Oliver fucking Cromwell I say!
23
“babbling, jug eared, retarded chimpanzee”
Just spat a mouthful of tea out when reading that corker!
6
Am praying that the babbling, jug-eared, retarded chimpanzee carks first; maybe some sort of shootjng / face-sitting accident. Can’t stand the thought of “Queen Camilla.” Demented old Hoover-bag.
8
In this week’s Doctor Who Jiggy Jiggy Jodie and her so solid crew (innit!) land on another planet… But which strange race will the TARDIS team encounter? Could it be….
Daleks? Nah!
Sontarans? Unlikely!
Zygons? Nope!
Sea Devils? Won’t be them!
Parking Stanleys? Ah! Knew I’d get it eventually!
9
Talking of Sontarans Norman, have you seen Garth Crooks recently?
10
When the highlights of the wedding of these two horse shagging cunts is shown later on the TV.
I shall have a toast and raise my pint glass to the royal cunts.
Then hurl my toast and pint glass at the TV. Screen.
Have a nice weekend.
8
Olay are currently showing TV adverts for “Daily Facial Cream”.
Must admit to expecting something rather different.
12
Olay “Soapy Tit Wank.”
7
Studio report: Stomach-churning arse licking drivel from Eemon Holmes and his hideous ball n chain. That Camilla posh bird is fit though. Saw her on QT 3 wks ago and she’s one of us. (Admin: please extend an honorary ISAC membership invite to Camilla Tominey c/o The Daily Telegraph with the compliments of Mr Hunt)
Shame Her Maj was only the 2nd most important Old Queen there thanks to the presence of Fry, no doubt interfering with the choirboys and accompanied by his just out of nappies husband.
We were told George and Amal (Anal?) Clooney sent apologies ; Reg (and Mrs John) and Sheercunt were on tour so couldnt make it but the Cocaine Twins Kate and Naomi were there nipping out to the Portaloos for a quick rooty tootie. The Beckcunts cannot have been invited……hooray!
FFS. What a fucking 147 of cunts all of them!
11
“…and now just over to our Royal Correspondent…
…Isaac Hunt.”
6
Camilla Tominey… Yes! Yes! and triple YES!
Indeed most doable.
7
Lady amelia Windsor. All day long.
1
…. And Kitty and Eliza Spencer.
I wonder how much for the pair of them?
1
Just how many faux patriots are lining the streets of Windsor with their little Union Jacks today?? This is like putting the paralympics on after the main event!!
9
Truthfully, I didn’t even know about this whole affair until I read the cunting on here today. I knew it was imminent, but that’s about it.
She could munch a Granny Smith through a letterbox being so orthodontically wayward.
He just looks like, well, er, erm…wet!
Anyway, what a load of fucking old shite and a complete waste of taxpayer’s cash.
A side cunting for that wrongun Prince Andrew. What an arrogant prick.
10
PM, I’ve heard that he’s by FAR the worst one of the Royals. An out and out cunt, conceit personified.
And that was before the OTHER rumours.
7
I shall now make myself unpopular. I would rather be ruled by a monarch than a politician. One thing a monarch would never do is sell his fucking country to Johnny Foreigner. All politicians are fucking bastards and should never be allowed into any form of government. Bring back the treason laws and its punishment ( death ) steam roller over any fucker who objects.
On the subject matter of Andy, he had the bollocks to fight for his country and earned his gong!
10
Monarchs are politicians. Some of the worst.
Assume you mean elected politicians?
9
Correct RTC
5
“One thing a monarch would never do is sell his fucking country to Johnny Foreigner.”
James VI of Scotland did. Became James I of GB, too. Would also note that our current monarch didn’t make much noise about joining the EU. And between them George V and Wilhelm II started WW1 because they couldn’t settle their differences. Not sure crooks, murderers and conmen are any less abundant in the royal lineage than they are among (other) politicians…in fact they’ve been bred for it, haven’t they? Look how they got to be royalty.
6
Most of the Monarchy ARE Johnny Foreigners, if not all. The last English one was Harold almost a millenium ago. It becomes updated every once in a while with Frigs and Dagis (and niw a Septic) but the whole sorry soap-opera is mainly German. Some of them (the Georges) couldn’t even SPEAK English. The whole saga is a racket but if it brings the Fat tourists in, I’ll contribute my 56p a year.
Nonetheless, a bunch of cunts.
5
“We’re all in this together”…Oh no,we fucking aren’t. There’s plenty of tax-payers money available to pay the security costs of yet another Royal Wedding,apparently. Reading in the papers about the epidemic of crime in London,how heartening to hear that so many Police Officers and resources can be found to fund the pomposity of this vain and stupid woman. She undertakes no Royal duties and yet expects the tax-payer to fork out for some “Let’s patronise the Plebs” carriage ride through the streets. Presumably she thinks that a fawning, adoring public will be there Gawd Blessing Her and throwing flowers.. Just shows how stupid,arrogant and out of touch she is. Of course,there will be the Bert and Doris Nutters and huge amounts of schoolchildren,but if she seriously believes that she is held in any kind of public esteem,she is sorely mistaken.
It’s the sheer effrontery of the bitch that gets me. I fail to see why I should contribute one brass farthing towards the wedding of someone who,although I’ve never met,actively detest. Bad enough when it was The HalfWit,HalfBlood Cunt and his tart (who,I suspect,would have been leading that harridan parade #MeToo,given half a chance),but at least they undertake some Royal Duties. Eugenie does not. She contributes nothing.
Eugenie’s father is a man who enjoys the company of some highly distasteful characters,both financial and sexual. I suspect that he shares his friends’ loose interpretations of the Law. Although too stupid to operate independently,he certainly believes in burying his snout in any money trough or or fresh young meat that his friends provide. I sometimes wondered why his friends would put up with such a self-important ignoramus,but I suppose it would be quite amusing to have the Royal village idiot begging for your scraps,and who knows when a video of “Randy Andy and Vicky the (No Longer) a Virgin” may come in handy.
Eugenie’s mother is a prostitue. Greedy for money she will sell her dignity,and that of the Royal Family, like a back-ally crack-whore desperate for her next fix. Perhaps she is some kind of an addict? It might go some way to explaining the mental retardation and deformed features of her daughters.Of course,that might just be all down to the Windsor blood.
Her sister Beatrice is,like her sibling, stupid,ugly and greedy. She has a face like a well-baked brick and the body of Vanessa Feltz. A husband will be found for her too amongst the ranks of inbred Hooray Henry types who lack money but are willing to impregnate any fat sow just as long as she’s “connected”…I suppose fucking either Beatrice or Eugenie will be a step up from buggering fags at Eton or getting buggered by an Eritrean Mandingo at some louche Society soiree…perhaps.
I don’t wish Eugenie and her husband “Congratulations” on their wedding day. I only wish that they and their parasitic family would disappear,never to be seen again, and put a stop to the pantomime of the Royal Hangers-On. I resent them and their very existence.
Fuck Them All.
24
If I was her husband I’d hate fuck her right up the chocolate starfish tonight,and just hope that none of her father’s friends had beaten me to the donkey- punch.
10
He’d be well advised to wear an old crisp packet.
Awesome Cunting Dick!
10
Frenchies and Russkies knew how to deal with royalty.
We got rid of ours, then let the fuckers back for another bite at the cherry. Silly cunts that we are .
I hope the vol au vonts give them all salmonella.
The cunts.
Good afternoon.
9
I’d prefer the Chinese method. Rather than making them martyrs like the Russians, make them work for a living and be glad for their bowl of rice after a day’s hard labour.
5
That Beatrice bitch has the wide eyed look of a demented Orang Utan about her, although a much smaller brain I suspect.
She is either a serial killer or walks around all day with a dildo up her honey pot.
That would make a good film…..”Princess Beatrice: Serial Killer!” I bet the Yanks would buy it.
12
Agree Mr Fiddler. Not just classy but real class in decorum, dignity. What the whole RM has lost. Mr Fiddler as a fellow admirer of the work of Sir Limply I wonder could you help me. I cannot find the one you often refer to about ‘horse prongs’ when I do a Search. What is the exact title of the piece?
5
Afternoon, Miles. That particular gem was titled “The Cunt who gave me the Clap”. Just put “clap” in the searchbox at the top of the page and prepare to read one of the most lucid and rational posts that I’ve ever seen.
4
Another display of us and them with their crowns,tiaras and diamonds,fucking detest everything about them,im sure they loathe me and my type just as much,I hope she knows how much the public dislike her plus her other ugly sister and her bent slag of a mother,they just see us as grockles,fucking lizards…..
9
Isn’t it about time one of the older Royal cunts kicked the bucket? I could do with a day off to officially “mourn” the old cunt (ie. straight down the boozer for a few swift ones while laughing at all the faux national grieving – aka Diana’s funeral)
Come on, Duke of Edinburgh, do us all a favour and top yourself (just make sure you do it on a Monday or Tuesday so the funeral can be set for a Friday or a Monday – a nice long weekend would be lovely, cheers!)
11
I hope that Jug-Ears gets offed by one of his more “exotique” plants when he is drivelling to them; they must surely find his verbiage patronising and offensive…
Maybe an Exploding African Violet.
6
I think Ferguson has always hinted she’d like to get back with Airmiles Andy. I don’t think this should be allowed (another royal wedding to pay for) but as a consolation prize I would offer her another money-mad, power hungry social climber – Peter Mandelson. I’m sure, for a good fee, Fergie could be persuaded to lie on her fat belly and take it like a man once or twice a month.
6
Thanks Mr Fiddler. I will relish it at my leisure. Yes Koo. I was slightly in love with her in my days of youth. Also Madelaine Smith who had a similiar look. Classy ‘Crumpet’ she was.
5
“Eurocrats jibe that Britain will ‘get on your knees and beg’ for a Brexit deal as bloc’s budget chief says the UK’s membership fee will go up by £5bn if it decides not to leave
Theresa May is struggling to thrash out a divorce and trade package with the EU
EU budget commissioner says if Brexit is reversed membership fee will rise £5bn
Gunther Oettinger said staying in customs union beyond 2020 will cost the UK”
***************
For Fuck’s Sake. Threatened by a bunch of unelected,jumped-up gobshites. The sooner we tell them to shove any “Divorce Fee” up their arses the fucking better. Enough is enough. Walk away and be done with it.
Utter Cunts.
11
Nailed it as ever, Dick but sadly way too many snorting porkers in the trough. Oddly similar to the above subject/topic ?
6
Mrs May has promised over and over and over again that we are definitely leaving the Customs Union. Which means, by hook or by crook, that we won’t. Watch and see.
Just assume the opposite of everything she says to be true and you can’t go wrong – works like a dream!
Brexit means Brexit. No way.
No snap Election? You must be joking.
What a fucking nightmare that slippery bitch is!
10
It says it all that I like ALEX Ferguson more than I like SARAH Ferguson.
6
I’m surprised prince Andrew didn’t charter a fucking helicopter to take them down the aisle, the lazy, self entitled shit stain.
9
Royal Family Promotional B/S (Cont.)
A note for your diaries, fellow cunters. On 14 November our beloved Charlie Windsor hits the big seven-o, so look out the bunting and start getting in the beer and sausage rolls for your street party.
News has broken that to celebrate this momentous occasion, Ol’ Jug Ears has taken time from his crushing work burden to *gasp* edit a commemorative issue of ‘Cuntry Life’. What a trooper. This edition will celebrate his love of country life (you know, riding to hounds, shooting peasants, that sort of thing), feature articles on Clarence House, Highgrove House and his Scottish estate Dumfries House, and he will also write a fashion piece on his two favourite tailors! Gosh.
It really isn’t a hard life being Prince of Wales, is it, but somebody’s got to do it, because in these times of grinding austerity, millions need to have the cockles of their hearts warmed by being reminded of what an utterly privileged life you lead as they go about the daily drudgery of making ends meet.
First thing tomorrow, I’m going to get on to my GP surgery to see if they can possibly squeeze me in for an appointment about two years from now. This ‘Cuntry Life’ special should be turning up about then in the waiting room, and I can’t contain my excitement at the prospect.
Gawd bless yer, yer ‘igh an Mightyness.
1