Why is it now the thing for mostly generation snowflake to begin all sentences with ‘So’.
So, I am a bit of a cunt.
So, we want a People’s Vote
So, I know fuck all about grammar or syntax.
So fucking what.
Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble
People who start their replies ‘So’. So fucking annoying. And to my ear ‘so’ incredibly rude. A classic culprit was Ollie Robbins at the Brexit committee-‘So Mr Rees Mogg…’ when asked a question by said. ‘When did the evolution of the Chequers position take place?’ ‘So Mr Rees Mogg…’ ‘What was the timeline?’ ‘So Mr Rees Mogg…’ He didn’t even have courtesy to even look at him half the time. Unlike Jacob. The model of courtesy. ‘So Mr Rees Mogg…”I am going to deliver the information I have decided you need regardless of the import of your question’. What it really signifies. All done with feigned humility; frequent appealing glances at Dominic Raab in supposedly surbordinate to minister look. Very slippery customer. Yes it’s feigned humility. Under it all a raging narcissist.
Nominated by Miles Plastic
Like every other subtle change in our language it comes from American TV. I read somewhere that a large percentage of kids think that the emergency number is 911. Mind you phoning 999 won’t get you very far unless you say “me no English, no good understand.”
Meanwhile, back in that other make believe world I see that Catweazle is on his way to Brussels to stick his tongue up Barniers bumhole.
Fuck me, old Barney Rubble will be thinking “this cunt is even dumber than Mavis, we’ve got this one wrapped up.”
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Is it true that because of gormless millennials if you dial 911 in UK it will connect to 999?
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Don’t forget that recommendation from an advisory committee a week or so ago suggesting local councils paint signs and symbols on pavements so that twats heavily engrossed looking at their phones won’t get whacked by a bus because the cunts are too ignorant to actually look up before crossing the road..
Therefore, expect another useless advisory committee recommending the emergency services change their number to 911, or use a redirection from 911 to 999 because we can’t stress out the snowflakes too much can we!
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Yes, it is true, not just because of millennials but thick fucks everywhere.
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So, like, OMG !!! (shriek)…
One of the advantages of living abroad was that if people spoke badly-fucked-up French or German, it didn’t bother me.
Emma the cunt (multiple answers are accepted here) needs twatting on the back of the head with a heavy blunt instrument.
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Seems to have ebbed and flowed over recent years this so. Mostly women who are more significantly linguistically challenged than men. The Cathy Newman gambit. So, what you’re saying is. Can I just stop you there, what I’m saying, is precisely, accurately and clearly what I just said. So, shuddup! So, I suppose you..No, you can fucking suppose nothing, cunt. Feigned humility. Shit. Got fucked off from NHS other day. Asked a question by oily voiced woman that I literally couldn’t answer 1 to 3. Depends I said, pain, varies wildly. All sweet she says threateningly, may I remind you that it’s vitally important that service users engage fully with the system. I am I said, next question. Nope. Forget it then I said, I’ll stay with the whisky. Women. Power mad cunts. So, fuck off and die.
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Cunts genuinely believe they are some kind of omnipotent Bond baddie.
“So Mr Bond, we meet again”.
Utter rissoles.
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Old lady: “give me a pound of pissoles”
Butcher: “Madam, I think what you want starts with “R”.
Old lady: “Very well, give me a pound of arsoles!”
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“So” usually belongs in the middle of a sentence – where it can be used in place of “thus” or “therefore”. Eloquent articulation is no longer required in schools. However, I have only 2 O Levels and an A Level in English so according to millennials, am thick as fuck.
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Qualifications, pah. Daughter, 30, two Degrees. In her car while back. Clutch is slipping I said. What’s that mean. Well it’s fucked. Could last ages, then again might not. Oh right. Month later. Got car fixed I say? No. Remind me, you’re a peripatetic Occupational Therapist. You drive around as part of your living. You ain’t that short, and it’s vital. Whatever. I’m like Harry Enfield grandad.
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Off topic …….
It turns out one of the Russian Salisbury ‘ tourists ‘ is one of Putin’ s goons, identified as a colonel in the GRU , no doubt it’s only a matter of time before the other is identified also.
Who’d have thunk it ?
Cunts.
Good morning.
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Yeah, Catweazle in Parliament. Well we don’t know it was the Ruskies, could be anyone, only international court can decide after full investigation. Rightyo. Conversely, lying, vicious, duplicitous bitch makes totally unsubstantiated allegation of inappropriateness by actor and fuck me, wimmin, lefties, White Knights, eunuchs all scream patriarchy and want actor expunged from history. Conviction? Fuck off. Women never lie apparently.
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And they don’t fart, either.
Unless you’re in a lift with them…
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So the tourist was a high ranking officer in the GRU.
Who’d of thought.
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SO. I hate this all-apparent word now everywhere. Good Cunting.
Reminder:Rees Mogg and Liddle on QT tonight (‘so’ Dimblebore announced last week)
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There’s a peaceful at work who starts EVERY sentence with “sooo….basically….” whilst rolling his eyes allah-wards. Just want to kick his fucking head off, the cunt.
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Arghhhh! Ram your boot up his hole for me while your at it. So where is this cunt? All this crap in the modern world is a total Cunting. So? FFS! I can’t watch U.K news channels anymore because of the way these cunts talk,no wonder folk live off grid before they go mad.I’m too Analogue for this setup in 2018…..Fucking Cunts…Fuck Off.
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It’s the required preface to a university seminar presentation: So. Hi, er. I wanna outline, um just a minute while I get the Powerpoint up. So. ‘Copper (1) in nematode metabolites’, it says here (pause for non-existent amusement). So. (und *so* weiter). Even old and seasoned lecturers get infected by the Sovirus, and may not recover. Surely digital technology could produce a gizmo to detect the word’s inappropriate use and instantly emit a piercing scream to alert the hearer that what is being spoken is probably coruscating bollocks?
I would also like to subcunt ‘Platform’, ‘Pillar’ and ‘Pipeline’ as management’s current substitutes for defining and describing the form of a vague concept they read about somewhere and wish to inflict on you.
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I’ll take that on board, Komodo.
Good morning to all.
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Some of my favourite entries in the lexicon of corporate bollocks:
“We’ll need air cover if we’re going to pursue that option…” [Much favoured by a cunt who referred to himself as “testosterone-fuelled corporate high-flier” It’s a good job for him that he wasn’t in the military – he’d have been shot by his own troops.]
“Going forward…” [An ex-boss who was stumped when I asked if her insistence on going forward was because she couldn’t find reverse. The useless cunt couldn’t lead a brick on a string.]
“Blue sky thinking…” [The corporate high-flier again – plenty of blue sky (and little else) between his ears]
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I’ve got a goingforwarder too. Let me know when there’s any other available temporal direction, won’t you? Managerial incompetence is strongly correlated with, and can be objectively measured by, its buzzword-per-minute score. I’m surprised Ms Goingforward can dress herself, but maybe she delegates that…
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I used to stave off near-terminal boredom at utterly pointless meetings (i.e. most of them) by playing bullshit bingo.
‘My’ Ms.Goingforward forward delegated her whole fucking job. Except the pay. She kept that, the cunt.
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“The way forward.”
Much-favoured by bank managers in the 80s, while they sat pontificating in their panelled wank-pits.
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You have to question the quality of Russian intelligence gathering and operational planning when a split second, meticulously planned covert operation involves two journeys selected from the British rail timetable….
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Ah, but from another viewpoint it was a hugely clever bit of subterfuge on their part. After all, what self-respecting secret agent/assassin would willingly entrust the outcome of their mission to the buttery hands of any UK train operator?
They’d have got away with too if only they’d remembered to pack their false beards and glasses.
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Excellent cunting once again from you guys.
My own particular dislike of ‘so’ is when it’s used with a sarcastic inference; ‘so, you really expect me to believe that?’. My own response to this particular usage is along the lines of ‘couldn’t give a flying fuck whether you believe it or not’.
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As soon as they start with “so..” I interject immediately (during their brief pause for breath ) with “What?”
That really stops the fuckers in their tracks.
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‘So’ was also probably Gabriel’s worst album…. From the bad Steve Marriott impressions of ‘Sledgehammer’ and the overproduced 80s pap of ‘Big Time’, to the syrupy ‘Don’t Give Up’
with Peter doing his ‘I’m rich, but I’m singing about unemployment’ bit (with the extremely doable Kate Bush)…. Give me his first four solo albums any time…
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Don’t laugh Norman been reading Phil Collins autobiography . Someone had discarded it in the hotel lobby. Fuck me , what a self absorbed little cunt he is. All those songs he penned in the 80’s have gone down in history as utter wank. But the cunt has such a high opinion of himself , Banging on about how much he does for charity ,constantly name dropping ,especially the Royals he has sucked up to and arch bummer Elton John. He slags off other musicians like Carl Palmer. Stopped reading it .
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I remember that his album covers all had a picture of his face in close up. That to me was a tip that he was a self absorbed cunt before you even listened to the album.
I’ve heard stories that he’s doing a come back tour and album. Facking hell haven’t we suffered enough already?
I’ll say one thing for him, at least he never got a dead hamster glued to his head like that cunt Reg Dwight aka Elton Hercules John. Now there’s a twat.
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So was a bad album don’t really care for gabriels solo stuff quite honestly.., his self titled debut was good tho. Peter and Phil both came out with sappy pappy shite in the 80’s 90’s unfortunately
@ Now im curious Fenton What did Collins say about Carl Palmer?
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Cunty Phil..pah he looks like he’s got a stocking pulled over his Swede like a 60’s bank robber. Old codger is still trying to tour on crutches simultaneously resisting the urge to chug back a litre of Remy Martin which is what he really wants to do.Fuck off home and get pished up ya daft cunt.
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Surprises me since I seem to recall that Collins himself was once on the shit-end of a witheringly unfair put down from McCartney.
Collins asked for Mr Thumbs-up’s autograph on behalf of his daughter (or it could have been his child-bride wife), whereupon McCunt insulted him for this in front of his own kids/hangers-on for his own amusement.
Not happy to read Carl Palmer getting dissed. Decent bloke and top drummer ( if sometimes a bit over-fussy).
Collins famously dumped one of his wives by fax which means he’s still got a bit of class!!!
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Did you know that the blue whale’s vagina is so huge that six people can lie in it at the same time? This makes it the second biggest cunt in world, just a little behind Banana Gob….
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I believe Diane Flabbots could fit 12?
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Wow. JRM AND Liddle. A balanced panel for once. How was that let through.
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Oh no.
SO,
A no-deal brexit will lead to blackouts in Northern Ireland. When will we see the sense in a People’s Vote to avoid:
Blackouts
Delays on pet passports
Sandwich shortage
No UK planes, Cars, Lorries or probably skateboards allowed in the EU.
House prices tumbling to 1917 levels
Food and drug famine
Pestilence
Plagues of boils
Au Pair shortage
French cheese becoming a distant memory
A complete ban on bratwurst
Emergency budget (I think that was 2016, but it is coming)
VAT at 35% but with no goods to apply it to
Flu pandemic
The return of the Black Death
The end of Romanian car washers
No more Renault Meghans
Repent you cunts.
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My goodness! One feels so sorry for those poor people in the USA, Canada, Australia, Japan and all those other countries that have to somehow get by without all the benefits of EU membership. .
Y’know, benefits such as:
Er…
Um…
Hmm…
[Several hours later]
Hang on, I’ll think of one in a minute…
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Mass migration in, loads of our money out is one benefit that Remoaners keep going on about, Sterling. Sounds like a really good deal to me…
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In which case, Ron, might I interest you in these here Enron share certificates?
My broker calls them ‘blue ice’ investments and the good news is that you can have as many of them as you wish and for a very reasonable price.
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And. I learned yesterday, a shortage of tourists to Cleethorpes:
https://www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/news/grimsby-news/no-deal-brexit-would-mean-2039218
I think that’s the decider, really.
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Does Cleethorpes not still host the World Pan Fighting Championships?
https://youtu.be/ZHrttt1Tpug?t=25s
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Last time I was in Cleggy it was heaving with Spanish tourists admiring the beach and the smell of fish wafting over from Grimsby.
This could be the final clincher for me.
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My guess is that they were migrant Port farmworkers (and their relatives, imported to keep the family together) – can’t see it appealing to the Spanish, unless they won a free break on el lotto. First prize, a week in Cleethorpes, second prize, two weeks.
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3rd prize 3 weeks in fucking Benidorm.
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You forgot hail, vermin and cramp in the knees !
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About time this was cunted. I fucking loathe ‘modern speak’, Americanisms or whatever the bollocks is called, if it has a name. Woman from the ambulance service on the BBC this morning started every fucking sentence with it. There was almost fucking steam coming out of my fucking ears. Another thing that really grips my shit is the use of ‘Basically’ in every fucking sentence. Why ‘basically’, eh, you fuckwit? Give me the full fucking version, I’m not Forrest fucking Gump, I reckon I’ll fucking grasp it, whatever it is. And don’t fucking get me started on ‘Can I get’. Jesus H fucking Christ… I have to pick up a crewmate I work with on that one. ‘Can I get a…’, ‘No, you stay this side of the counter, the bird serving’ll get it for you. Lovely bloke, but a cunt for using that fucking particular Americanism.
Jesus, fetch me fucking Omeprazoles.
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There’s a load of this shite about on the Beeb, DCI. Terms that boil my piss when they use them are ‘vulnerable’, ‘disadvantaged’, ‘so-called’ and ‘community leaders’ (whoever the fuck they are).
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Absofuckinglutely, Ron. I almost forgot the ubiquitous ‘Like’, too. ‘It was like ten o’clock’. Really, what was it? Five past, five to? ‘I’m like twenty one’. What’s ‘like’ twenty one? Twenty and a half? Talk properly, you fuckwit.
Cunts.
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And those BBC fuckflakes are still referring to their new female Doctor Who as a ‘Time Lord’…. She’s going to be second fiddle to those two chalkies that are also in the show anyway….
Would still give Jodie a go with the old tickling stick, mind…. Tattyhilarious!
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In my Service time I was once charged for hurling a file (second cut as I recall, couldn’t find a bastard) at my senior NCO. Who couldn’t open his mouth without saying ‘In actual fact’, and for that reason. The officer took into account the fact that I had missed and that the NCO was an irritating cunt. Admonished.
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Above. What the fuck would Emily Thornberry know about Cleethorpes. I cannot think of anyone in the entire world who would be more out of place than Emily in Cleethorpes. Can I imagine her having a game of bingo? No, it’s impossible. A go on the slots? No. Relaxing in a deck chair? No. And I distinctly remember the last time I went. From coach I noticed there were many St Georges flags hanging from windows. She would to avert her eyes for the whole trip.
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I hate those ‘invisible fart’ corporate buzz words… usually delivered in an office in an innocuous location . You know the type of place, a featureless industrial estate where litter gets trapped on the prickly bushes, and the staff inside the building are pound land wanna be ‘The Apprentice’ candidates…and the bullshit flows up till the 11:00am break…..
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A single word answer I love to inflict on colleagues (just the fuckwit ones) and flakes is the response: “And?”
I’ll let them drivel on about shite and how much of a cunt I’ve been (aka “being right”), blah, blah, blah.
The expect me to rise to the bait or defend myself against whatever vitriol they spout. Instead I just say: “And?”
There are many interpretations of this response such as:
– And what the fuck are YOU going to do about it? Cunt!
– I truly couldn’t care less. Cunt!
– Well if you’re that sure, why the fuck don’t you grass me up then! Oh, by the way, I happen to be armed with knowledge and facts, and I’ll chance that against your guesswork and assumptions any day of the week. Do you feel lucky? Cunt!
Either way I always manage to elicit the most delightful shade of magenta from their faces as they fuck off crestfallen.
I suggest my fellow cunters do the same when confronted by one of these lickspittle gobshites’ tirades.
It works wonders for the blood pressure.
😀
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A solid cunting. My brother’s GF has started this habit, and she already rises the pitch at the end of her senntences? Then again, she is a teacher.
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