Wilkinson razors

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Came home tonight with a view to having a lovely wet shave, so I’d look smart and like at least a facsimile of a person that knows what they’re doing in work tomorrow.

Obviously I hadn’t accounted for the fact that Wilkinsons are utterly incapable of selling a razor that clips into one of their cunting handles for more than 6 months on the trot. Took my disposable razor out and tried to clip it into the holder. It was about as compatible as me and the baking peaceful off the Beeb. ‘Not to worry’, I thinks to myself. ‘I’ve got the other Wilkinsons handle too. What could go wrong?’

Well – it went wrong.

So, I’m left with twenty rips worth of useless razors, two even more useless handles and I look like Phil Mitchell when he became a crackhead.

Avaricious cunts.

I can see why these young cunts grow these stupid beards now, it’s not a fashion statement, the poor cunts can’t afford to shave!

Nominated by Mecha-Rigsby

39 thoughts on “Wilkinson razors”

  1. My advice; ditch the brand name “shaving systems”.

    I bought myself an old fashioned Edwin Jagger chrome safety razor about 6 years ago, complete with a chrome stand – very elegant. These take the traditional razor blade – you can buy a bulk 100 pack of Derby refill blades for around £6.

    You need to master the art of shaving this way, but you get a very smooth finish for a fraction of the cost.

    Fuck the Wilkinson and Gillette rip-off.

    • Thanks for the valuable info Paul. I payed £15 for 4 Wilkinson blades . I’m going to check out the old style razor now.

    • Ah a man of taste and distinction.
      I too am a fan of Mr.E Jagger and his wondrous shaving products

      • Another EJ endorsement from Axwound.

        Further tips:

        Get cheap blades from Boots and use them no more than twice. I have tried loads of premium brands – Feather, Bluebeard’s Revenge etc and keep coming back to the chepies.

        Use only proper shaving cream or soap, whipped up in a bowl with a good quantity bristle shaving brush.

        Shave three times – down, across then up.

        I never got a better shave from any cartridge razor I have used over the years, plus, shaving is no longer a chore, now a pleasant ritual to start the day.

  2. Shaving is haram! The holy Koran commands us to grow a beard at least as long as a fist.

    SHAVING IS THE TOOL OF THE INFIDELS!

    • This holy comand is made to protect the beliver when the drunk infidel mis judges jaw length when chining the beliver!
      allah is wise.

      • Who dear, Me dear, gay dear, no dear.

        Just because a man lives with a man and listens to Kylie does not a homosexual make…

  3. Just found out that O’Shithead’s new book is called,
    “How to be Right……in a World Gone Wrong.”
    Doesn’t that perfectly sum up this fucking cunt and everything he stands for? What a mouthy know it all fucking arrogant fucking bastard.
    Oh, and, surprise surprise, it’s got his ugly fucking smirking face on the front cover.
    Mega cunt!

    • Someone needs to start up a new section in bookshops and file this blathering piss rag under ‘Cunt’.

    • You must be joking… is it April Fool’s Day?

      Yesterday the cunt was going on about being 100% right (since the vote) about “EVERY SINGLE ONE” of his Brexit predictions and the disastrous consequences there of… despite the fact we haven’t even left yet.

      According to O’Shithead, the only thing Brexiteers care about is fish and blue passports. Can’t wait to snap up his remaindered book after Xmas…

      • You might even get a 2 for 1 paired with his wife’s cookbook, ‘The Cunts Family Cook Book’.

    • The pre-publication (paid for) reviews on *AMAZON* are hilarious!

      “Almost indecently enjoyable. A must-read for anyone about to spend Christmas listening to their parents/grandparents talking shit.” (Robert Webb)

      “I know few broadcasters as consistently, forensically, brilliant as James O’ Brien. Here, he shows us — with empathy, edge and exquisite comedy — how it happens.” (Emily Maitlis)

      “A simply brilliant read … I love this book!” (Jamie Oliver)

      “A total joy. If you feel like the world is going to hell in a handcart, here’s the brakes.” (Caitlin Moran)

      “This book is required reading to slice through the rhetoric, slogans & bluster of politics and politicians. James is the broadcaster we need right now, setting the world to rights one call at a time.” (Susanna Reid)

      • What a disgusting bunch of nauseating , puke inducing, arse crawling sleb cunts.
        I bet they haven’t read a single word of it and I doubt if that wanker Oliver can read at all. Fucking bastards.

      • 208 pages of

        “Me, I, Me, holihobs, Me, Brextremists, Me, I, Mrs O’Brian, Me, fish, I, Me, blue passports, Me, penny drop moment, Me, I, Rees-Mogg forelock tug, Me, unicorns, I, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, shut the door!”

      • Me, I, Me, If you will, Me, I, Discombobulated, I, I, Box of Trolls, Me, Me, You’re listening TO James OBrien, Me, I, Ampleforth, I, I, I, Bloviating, Me, Me, ABSOLUTELY.

        God I hate that cunt

      • If the world is going to hell in a handcart, Caitlin Moron should be used as a human brake-block. Self-righteous splosher.
        May Ullah’s syphilitic flying donkey piss on her from a great height.

  4. Wilkinson sword do this all the time, a million different handles that fit only the blades you buy at the time, good luck getting them again you have to buy yet another pack with another handle……Wankers

    • Apologies for this – I bought a Merkur before going to uni (1980); still going strong, takes any standard safety razor-blade. I know it’s a kraut job, but at least it’s not a Merc, BMW or Audi, and it’s never tried gassing me.

  5. I happen to like Wilkinsons and never had a problem. I ditched Gillette when the cunt botty boy Tom Daley was touted as a brand ambassador. Don’t want to be associated with no quairs.

    • He only uses them to shave his chest, legs and his wide open bumhole. Narcissistic little faggot boy.

  6. I could never grasp how a piece of plastic so worthless, who’s unit manufacturing price is so minimal it can barely be measured, costs 20 fucking quid. Ordinary razor, basic blades, does the job. Dollop of barbers cum as the Scandi’s call it.

  7. Cheap yellow disposable Bic razors for me every time. Unfortunately Mrs Stroker “borrows” them for her own dubious needs so if moved from the usual place simply reach for a new one.

  9. It’s their border, their tariffs, their problem. Mavis should tell him to go and fuck himself.
    Won’t happen of course.

  10. Being the tightwad that I am, I find the ten-to-a-pack twin blade razors from Poundland do the job perfectly.
    And as an added bonus, there’s no picture of an overpaid sports “personality” or hipster cunt on the packet…

  11. Stumbled across a proper Turkish baths when we were in Istanbul.
    Proper face and neck shave from a huge razor that’s sharpened on a stone. Ear and nose hair singed by flame, followed by chest, back, and arse crack wax.
    The wife never looked so good….

  12. Black and White cunt has napped long time favourite Dennis Norden. Well done that man. Certain lazy cunts have not updated to a new pool yet so Yours Truly is getting in there:

    Doris Day
    Olivia d’Havilland
    Giscard D’Estaing
    Nicholas Parsons
    Michael Caine

    • Never impugn the word orf a Stoke

      Black and White cunt on September 7, 2018 at 9:38 am said:
      Denis Norden
      David Hedison
      Gordon Banks
      Murray Walker
      Jimmy Greaves

  13. I bought a multipack of Wilkinson Sword double-edge blades on Ebay for a very good price. I found out why they were cheap, each and every blade is sharp on one side and dull on the other. Maybe Wilkinson aren’t aware that their reject stock is being sold to the public.

  14. Still using me old service issue “Gilette” safety razor. Want a twin blade shave? Stick another blade in it. Choice orf blades from the cheapo to the lethal. Turkish, Ruskie, Indian, Kraut, Yank at your service sir. Only place don’t make now is Blighty.

  15. I find i can extend the life of my blades by blowing the feckers clean with the air line, works a treat

  17. Mate it’s called a disposable razor for s reason. It’s not meant to be accessible beyond two months worth of use let alone six!!

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