There’s one memorable scene in the otherwise shitely forgettable sequel ‘The Fly 2”. A mutated dog, previously a pet pooch to the Son of Brundle and later a failed genetic experiment, crawls pitifully and genuinely upsettingly out of a hatch towards some food and howls in agony. The same feelings of revulsion and pity are evoked whenever I see the old lush trifecta of Pauline Quirke, Linda Robson and the minger that plays Doreen; year upon year, painfully dragging their grotesquely distended and well-used faffs around behind them, all for cheap laughs in a genuinely atrocious Shitcom.
‘Birds of a Feather’ has always just been there – like that wart or old scar. It has been endlessly pointless and utterly twee bollocks. In one of a handful of good decisions made by the Al-Beeb in my lifetime, they eventually axed/let it go; only for the three cunts to re-unite years later courtesy of certified shitheap celebrity resting place ITV.
Abysmal, and to this day I have no fucking clue what the premise is, other than charting the fortunes of three hideous single mothers going from shit to shite. It’s been on the TV for decades and I can only assume that one of the three matriarchal cunts has incriminating photos of both BBC and ITV chief commissioning editors.
What an absolute fucking shitshow of cunt.
Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back
It’s a long time since i’ve seen this shit but i’ve always grouped it with “Vicar of Dibley” and “Ab Fab” as crap that only women find funny.
Fuck knows why, you can see every gag coming a mile off and you know it’s not funny before it arrives.
How it’s been on so long is a fucking mystery.
9
Put them in the curry !!
Good morning.
10
Isn’t the one with the “black” hair the woman that did “Muffin the Mule” when the BBC started ?
2
A well overdue cunting there. Birds of a Feather is Swahili for “utter bollocks”. Mind you, apart from The Thick of It, I’m struggling to think of a single ‘comedy’ or even comedian who’s registered the faintest blip on my laughometer this century but that’s maybe because I’m a cunt.
As for Saturday night TV. Total fucking lack of originality as it’s an endless rotation of shrieking talent shows, Casualshit, or kids fantasy rubbish. Just as it has been for 25yrs!
5
Tbf the Inbetweeners and Friday Night Dinner are good shows as well. For all their crap Channel 4 can still very occasionally make a good comedy.
4
You got me there Opinionated. My mistake. Inbetweeners was hilarious. Would have liked to have seen more of that MILF that was the speccy bloke’s Mum though. Note the Thick of It’s Julius was Neil’s Dad.
3
No, you’re absolutely right. Isaac. I always laugh out loud at Morecambe and Wise. the 2 Ronnies or Dad’s Army. Bring back Croft and Perry to do some writing…
7
Perry and Croft.. It Ain’t Half Hot Mum was their best…
Of course, it will never be seen on UK TV again… The snowflakes would combust…
6
The first series of Not Going Out with Lee Mack was bloody excellent.
Apart from that agree completely.
These days the BBC “comedy” recipe seems to be very safe PC scriptwriters writing scripts bereft of original thought, wit, humour, lacking any sort of story line and starring the usual suspect pool of dreary tired “comedy” actors who we have already rejected as being unfunny.
Struggling to think of any TV comedy that has made me laugh for a long time. Big Bang is watchable but has deteriorated the longer it has gone on.
The very un-PC Jeremy Clarkson and the Top Gear team always used to brighten my day, especially with their Soecials, however we all know how that ended.
Humour is a very subjective topic, but really cannot see the point of BBC humour these days as it is simply not funny and not worth watching.
5
Episodes, Pulling, Fleabag, and People Just Do Nothing are some of the recent better offerings I’ve caught and enjoyed for the most part.
Not Going Out good (apart from the last three seasons).
2
Imagine being forced to see them naked and each bending over doing fat old swamp donkey nudey yoga.
A delightful minds’ eye image to accompany your breakfast.
No need to thank me.
8
How is Mrs. Cunt Engine ?
3
Morning Jack.
She’s still alive and uninjured, unfortunately. Thankfully, today is the last day of the hell that is family “stay”cation.
I have just caught a glimpse of her going into the hotel shower (see above comment) and that’s made me a little sick to my stomach.
Never mind, at least I’ll get to see my preferred family member this afternoon (my dog).
How does today find yourself?
6
Good morning Thomas. I am well, thank you for asking. Off out to earn some folding stuff shortly, looks like I’ll get wet today. My despicable motor mouth wife has just taken my best friend for a walk, so if I’m sharpish I can have a quick crap and get out before she’s back.
Glad your ordeal is almost over.
Thank fuck it’s Friday eh ?
6
Have always loathed these two irritating mockney cunts since t saw that ‘Pauline’s Quriks’ shite in the 70s… And as for the Jackie Stallone-esque Dorian as a ‘maneater’? Seriously, what young lad would go anywhere near that? She looks like Zelda from Terrahawks with a dye job…. I’d actually put these three cunts alongside that Saunders cunt in Ab Fab and the horrendous Raquel from Only Fools and Horses as the worst comedy characters in British TV history,,,,
9
Surely you meant to include the utterly execrable “Mrs Brown’s boys” in your list, Norman?
Surely nothing less funny has been produced in the last 20 years?
10
Oh yeah, I forgot about those bogtrotting cunts…
I’m waiting for the Stallone biopic… Featuring Leslie Joseph as Jackie Stallone and Natalie Cassidy as Sly….
7
This shite made HideHi look funny. Has it been dug up? Fuck me it was dreadful decades ago. The old fucker must be 90 and I don’t suppose the other 2 have matured well.
What next? A remake of Terry & June?
9
Never entertained BOAF as I’ve always disliked quirke and Robson who arent easy on the eye or ear, both sounding like Millwall dockers! And funny they are not……..
Totally agree with FTF regards grouping this crap with “ vicar of dibley” etc etc Fatty French is another unfunny cunt who blighted U.K. tv screens for many years! I remember seeing an article a few years ago claiming French and then husband Lenny Henry were the U.K. s golden comedy couple??
I laughed so hard my liver popped out of my ear……
without question it’s the only time either of those talentless wankers ever made me laugh!!
11
UK’s golden comedy couple? Have these cunts not heard the Krankies?
7
Christ on a monocycle I feckin DESPISE Don French.
There ought to be some BAFTA category for lardarses. Nothing else, because she ISN’T anything else. Just a feckin blob with metallic make-up.
1
Top cunting, Empire.
I’d say that there have been precious few comedies the on the box that have stood the test of time. For me, this precious few includes ‘Fawlty Towers’, ‘Porridge’, ‘Yes, Minister’, ‘Blackadder the Third’, and maybe ‘The Good Life’. All of these are Beeb produced, so fair dibs to Al BBC on that one at least. To this I’d add the surreal, brill ‘Father Ted’.
The rest is largely shite imo, binable, achingly unfunny donkey such as ‘Last of the Summer Piss’, which just seem to go on for ever. ITV has been a major player in producing cack over the years; think ‘On the Buses’, or twee dogshite such as ‘Robin’s Nest’, ‘Father Dear Father’ etc. About as funny as trying to pass a kidney stone.
4
I always hated Last of the Summer Wine because it always reminded me it was Sunday and I had to go to school the next day
7
Only great ITV comedies were The Dustbinmen and Rising Damp…
Steptoe & Son and Till Death Us Do Part were great…
4
I did like Blakey though… ‘Urrrrgh! I ‘ate you, Butler! You fuckin’ cunt!’…. And Michael Robbins, as the poor condemned cunt who was saddled with the wretched Olive, did his part well…
3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heh-ZMyzdig
Don’t make them like this any more.
1
WS, there was more acting in that 4-second clip than Bendadick Cumstainpatch and Colin Farth
have achieved in their miserable existences.
But I admit to enjoying a bit of Farth when his character gets shot (Timker, Tailor) or stabbed on his own doorstep by Robert Carlyle’s character (name of film forgotten, but Farth played a City broker – ie no acting required, he just did the usual posh arrogant git thing).
0
Until I read this nomination, I didn’t know this crap had been disinterred.
Apart from Vic and Bob’s House of Fools, I haven’t seen a good new British comedy in ages. The Young Ones, Blackadder and Red Dwarf (series 1 to 6 not the dog shit it became) are my comedy favourites.
3
Vic and Bob as the two Frogs in grubby macs farting their way round the park always cheers me up no end…
3
Agree cunters,I ve always hated cosy and twee family sitcom like BOF and My Family ? Love Partridge but thats done to death,like Ricky Gervais stuff but i think he avoids UK comedy now cos its too pc,Pilkingtons good but think his act is looking dated although i hear hes doing a new sitcom ,no edgy writers anymore since gervais and merchhant parted company,good edgy sitcom is dead cos of pc i think,we are now infested with the lefty panel show wankers and their endless trump/ brexit sniping,i just watch old stuff these days,its fucking tragic really…….all il say is…………. RUSSELL HOWARD 😔😔😔😔
3
Saxondale was a good series…. Morwenna Banks as the saucy receptionist was a plus… Not looking forward to the new Partridge though… That they’ve made him pro-Brexit is basically Coogan and the BBC putting the boot into all the ‘buffoons’ and ‘oafs’ who voted leave… The usual entertainment as propaganda that the BBC are so into these days…
6
We could start referring to dross as a right load of old fucking Russell
2
I always liked Please Sir… But only because of the great Deryck Guyler as Potter and I also fancied Penny Spencer as Sharon….
5
None of the shows mentioned would make me laugh and I wouldn’t waste my time watching them. But then I’m a miserable cunt. The last film that I found amusing was Slap Shot made in 1977.
1
Have you ever seen Kingpin (1996) by the Farrelly Brothers (masters and makers of good taste movies)?
Perhaps worth a look if not. A sport comedy also featuring a McCracken.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VvB7S-4Hl4
Having said that (and as already mentioned on this site), was in Tesco a few weeks ago with some time to kill (my son was at his badminton training session and instead of going home then back out again decided to wait).
Looking at the DVD’s, the guy standing close to me pointed out a DVD, and said to me “you’ll like that one”.
Without knowing me, how the fuck does he know what I will like?
5
Spot on there Norman but gorgeous as Penny was, Carol Hawkins in her prime was, somehow , even hotter. A true teenage fantasy night after night in the teenaged Hunt family.
Don’t think any of that superb little cast made it big. Pity.
3
It always slightly sickened me watching Stan shoveling his food down grabbing his jacket before going off ‘on the buses’. Michael Robbins lovely bloke gave up tv work to run a little theatre near where he lived.
1
Staggering to think Michael Robbins was only early 40’s when playing Arthur in On The Buses.
Always struck me as being considerably older.
2