Shitty advertising

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I’d like to cunt two adverts.

1) The latest Audi advert which looks half decent until you get the godawful breathy whiny warblings of Homeward Bound in the background which kills it! (Apparently sung by Gina Kushka – did NOT put that voice with that face).

2) The Amazon add where two “friends” buy each other a pair of knee braces. If you haven’t seen it yet I’m sure it’ll make you vomit.

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!

33 thoughts on “Shitty advertising”

  2. I’d like to include 99% of television, radio, print and interweb efforts that fall into this category of cunting. Irritating, cringe-worthy, or outright fucking confusing, most modern adverts can be guaranteed to grip your shit.
    Two of my favourite nostalgic non-shit adverts would be the PG Tips chimps (“Its the taste!”), or the flake girl getting off on a bar of chocolate.

  3. Yeah I’ve seen that one – completely unbelievable horseshit……. a priest and a muslim friends? really?

    That would have been realistic if the priest went to open his present and…….. KABOOM!!!!

    • Would be more true if they bought child-sized fucking knee pads for the kids in the choir and whatever the muslim equivalent of a choirboy is.

      • Muslim equivalent of a choirboy? Any prepubescent male, anywhere and at any time. And all ‘cos Mo tells them to. Perverted cunts.

    • Priests and Imams are really that right-on. Somewhere in the imagination of a London media fuckwit.

  4. Nothing comes within a million miles of the MoneySupermarket ad with the men in stockings dancing. What diseased pervert thought that one up?
    The fucking wankstain will probably get an award for it.

  5. The worst has to be that Maltesers ad with the lovechild of Davros/Stephen Hawking claiming to have “got the best mans number”. She should check that he hasn’t just given her the Dignitas number,I know I would have. Still at least the object of her “affections” can escape the lust-crazed dalek by merely walking up a flight of stairs.
    I’ve chucked my selection stocking packet of maltesers in the bin,and until we get a nice bit of fanny sucking chocolate balls,that’s where they’ll stay.

    I like Clitoris Allsorts.

      • I knew of a well-spoken,good- looking lass who used to put on a show involving her smearing her fanny with Marmite,and getting her St.Bernard dog to lick it off. She reckoned that watching was the only way that her husband could get a hard-on. Strange couple,but their parties were legendary..

      • I tried that edible chocolate body paint with an ex.
        Who ever invented it should have realized that brown smears covering genitalia is not a sexy sight.

        I also tried the Marianne Faithful mars bar once. The thing melted inside her, and we had to stop so i could scoop it out…….

      • I’m sure I meatplowed the same bird, she made me shove popping candy up her axe wound. It was quite a nice sensation until a chunk got stuck in the chaps eye. That did not go well.

    • Not sure of the rational behind the Malteser ads featuring persons of limited mobility but the net effect was they came across as Fucking unpleasant human beings. Maybe want to rethink that one…

      • I thought that too, made it sound like deliberately running over someones foot is a bit of a laugh…those type of cunts do exist though, a friend of mine was knocked over and badly hurt by a fat cunt hurtling along on his motability scooter in Asda’s car park…the cunt didn’t even apologise and there was no point suing him as he was on benefits.

    • I have no idea why advertisers would consider a spacca to be a great way to advertise a product, escpecially a food product. This specimen is a real ugly one too.

      All the latest Malteasers ads have contained tards, freaks, lesbian nurses or other social miscreants. They give me the creeps.

      BUT the worst has to be that Bisto ad where a PC family make Sunday dinner for a coffin dodging old fart who looks a picture of health and should be making it herself. Fuck off with your shit advert people.

      • You’re right Spanky, I’d forgotten about that scrounging old biddy . The old bag’ll have had her heating allowance and yet still thinks that she should steal heat and food off a hard working family,the old crow probably used her free bus pass to get there too.
        What is it with these old bastards using up valuable resources that we might need in the future?
        Selfish old cunts.

  7. ALL fragrance/perfume adverts seem to come from an up – itself , arty , pretentious blueprint that can’t be deviated from – for the love of Mary , I give you J.Depp esq , complete with under-eye shadow. Yet more cuntish androgyny – give me a panda on roller-skates anytime..

    • We are all obviously supposed to think if we spray ourselves with this overpriced mongoose piss that we are buying in to a glamorous jetset lifestyle…instead the smell makes every cunts eyes water on the bus….

  8. I should have tried to make a living advertising fragrances.
    I’d spend the day getting stoned, taking acid, jagging up, popping pills and snorting and smoking cocaine.
    I’m sure that’s what they get up to, coz i cant see a sober person coming up with this shite……….

    • They advertise sex toys over ere now bird,You know the one’s ya can stick up ya shit scoop and twat hole,Arrrr the world keeps turning.

    • For mash get smash,Still scares the shit out of me,Were they real aliens ,And i wont be there when you cross the road,And they was the one with that cunt dropping litter all over,And Vesta chow mein,Fuck me loved them on a friday night ,That was my treat,And party 7 ,I dont think they do them now.

  10. Should do a real dialogue version of the “knee brace” ad . Trendy right on vicar tries to explain that its ok , he doesnt believe in God anyway.. cue nervous laughter. Da’Esh burn him alive. Only thing worse than an apostate is a non believer, or so they say in Raqqa. Apparently.

  11. Commercial advertising is designed to make us buy products that we a) Do not really want. b) Can’t afford. c) Have very little use in our lives. The general garbage thrown on our screens in the format of “advertising” has the opposite effect on me. I make a point that if it is advertised, I won’t fucking well buy it. ( I’m well fucked if they start advertising spuds ! )

  12. there seems to be a plethora of adverts atm featuring young women singing in very hushed’ meaningful’ tones. get outta here you silly people.

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