A first world problem perhaps, but the persistent use of certain words and expressions continues to drive me up the wall.
Politicians are bad for this; remember good ol’ Gordon Brown and his ‘hard-working families’? Well what about Local Government Secretary Steven Reed letting us know recently that the government is ‘minded’ to delay some mayoral elections until 2028? ‘Minded’ for fuck’s sake? This sounds like politico Newspeak from the 90s. I’m surprised the cunt didn’t say that there’s an ‘overarching’ need for the delay. Let me be clear on this; moving forward, it’s not a good look. The optics are awful.
Another bastard is when there’s some awful incident which leaves people in a bad way. I wish they’d just report that victims are in a serious or critical condition, but no; we always get the stupidly melodramatic ‘fighting for their lives’. Then when some figure who’s in the public eye pops their clogs, inevitably, ‘tributes pour in’. Really? To where, exactly? Oh, and when anybody has to say sorry for anything, the apology, we’re told, is always a ‘grovelling apology’.
Has anybody ever patronised you by promising to consider your point of view, when you know they couldn’t give a fuck? Maybe you’ve been at a work meeting or something when some HR pencilneck promised to ‘take that on board’, but of course you know they’ll forget it as soon as they’re out the door. I ‘literally’ used to die at that one. And I’ll bet that anyone reading this has at some point heard ‘no offence but…’. Yep, that person’s about to tell you that you’re a cunt.
Oh lord, fucking Americanisms. I loathe them, my bad. Come on dudes, I’m sure you can step up to the plate on this one. Get going already you guys. Turn a few nouns into verbs while you’re at it; wonder if there’s any chance that England might be able to medal at the next World Cup? We could work this up into a whole season.
So, so there you go. Let’s hear your own pet hate words and expressions. It’s deliverable. Be empowered by IsAC; it’s open 24/7, just reach out. Unpack it. Touch base. And merry Chrimbo while you’re at it. Amazeballs.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
pretty much everything the Yanks say is irritating, but some expressions of theirs that always gripped my shit include;
“circle back”
“y’all”
“and a large fries”
“test post, test post”
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Brits saying “can I get”, another americanism pisses me off too
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Can I ‘grab’ something? Grab a coffee. Yeah really grab it and clutch it hard.
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Heard a thick bitch at the bar in the spoons, “can I NOT get lemon and ice in my coke”.
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“You’ve got this”, people that call you “chap”, “reaching out”, people in offices that say “deliver” instead of “complete”, “solution”, “synergy”, politicians saying “it’s the right thing to do”.
Cunts one and all
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Can I throw in ‘off of’ and ‘step up to the plate’ to the list of teeth-grinding Americanisms?
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Oh and I hate it when some ‘barista’ cunt in a coffee shop hands me my coffee with a ‘there you go buddy. Enjoy’.
Have a nice fucking day.
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Oh my gosh….we’re up and running with Americanisms. It is very cunty. Another one of their bizarre sayings is, “I wanna say…”.
Example:
What’s your favourite holiday?
I wanna say, Christmas.
Don’t want to say it, just say it. CUNTS!!!
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The silly twats also say “in back of you” when they mean behind you.
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When the government is pretending to do something they claim is urgent, they’re always proceeding “at pace”. What a shit phrase that is, and is of course also a guarantee they and/or the civil service will be dragging their feet as per fucking usual.
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Well, Starmer and his cunts aren’t proceeding at pace ” stopping the boats”
https://www.gbnews.com/news/migrant-crisis-small-boats-channel-weather
Are you, you Marxist Quislings..!
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Being an ex Brit in Canada means I am subject to a lot of American nonsense.
The one that makes me want to strangle the user is ‘on accident’ instead of ‘by accident’ – what cunt came up with rhat one? Deserves to be boiled in his own piss.
Pronouncing the word ‘processes’ as prossessies.
Being somewhat interested in particle physics the term ‘quark’ which is supposed to rhyme with ‘Mark’ according to the chap that came up with the idea. It’s not supposed to rhyme with ‘walk’
There are many more but those are the ones that burn m arse the most.
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I love Americanisms.
And pepper my day to day speech with them.
Cowabunga dude!
10 4 good buddy!
Thats awesome!
Gnarly bro!
Yall want some apple pie like momma used to make?
Jeez Louise.
I picked it up off Randy a yank cunter sadly departed,
He taught me that stuff
Id teach him the history of his own country.
I also like to wear baseball caps back to front
Chew gum in bed
And have teeth like Desert Orchid.
Funny what you pick up from others isnt it?
Neat👍
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I told my kids that a back to front baseball cap was a ‘brain reducer’.which they then duly repeated loudly every time we saw one.
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Maate!
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Ps
That Maduro cunt from Venezuela is arriving in court at New York.
Know what hes turned up to court wearing?
Pyjamas an slippers. 😯
The scruffy cunt.
The judge will take a dim view of that.
Like hes having a sleepover at his mates house.
An that scouser tash wont help.
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No wonder he couldn’t get bail
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I suspect most Brits are irritated by American mangling of the language. Letter T pronounced as a D, stress on the wrong syllable everywhere, treating plurals as collective nouns (the data is?! WTF?) and abolition of the distinction between transitive and intransitive verbs to name but a few. A particular annoyance to me is emphasis of the second syllable in the word kilometre. Try pronouncing kilowatt or kilogram that way and hear what a twat you sound.
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In America you don’t get burgled, you get burglarised.
In one of the dire forensic detective programmes, one cunt was going on about the directionality of the blood splateration.
They think that big words make them sound intelligent.
They don’t.
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Or even getting burgled in America is ‘getting robbed.’ No, if you weren’t threatened and they did it without your knowing, you were burgled.
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TAC –
No you don’t my friend. You get burglarized. The Yanks love their zees.
Laters – IY. 🙂
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Zorry IY.
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With the kilometre thing, I always point out (to any poor bugger in earshot) that if we pronounce it with emphasis on the second syllable, then all of them should have that. Try pronouncing centimetre or millimetre or even millilitre that way.
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Ps
Outside the court is obviously loads of NYPD.
One looks like mr Miyage.
Ones got stubble,
Ones fat, and all wearing bobble hats?!!
Theyve gone downhill.
My mate had his photo taken with the NYPD.
Theyre pretending to handcuff him.
He said they were cracking lads,
Like something off Goodfellas.
” your breaking my balls?
Hey, go fuck yourself”
He thought they were great.
Another mate of mine was in a bar in LA
Where the LAPD hung out.
He said they were all massive steroid heads bristling for a fight.
Said they were scary as fuck.
But also racist,
So ok by me😁
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The judge is 92yo.
Jesus.
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Reckon he’ll live long enough to sentence Nichola?
92.
Basically a fuckin mummy.
Probably thinks hes trying Clark Gable.
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Don’t know whether he will be the trial judge but still.
He is so old Alexander Graham Bell had a missed call from Judge Hellerstein.
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“I could care less”
“gotten”
“It is what it is”
“Can I get…”
“oftentimes”
“take a bath, take a shower…”
“ohh, ma dirrrs” (oh, my days)
“swear down”
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What annoys me intensely on leaving a shop I’ve purchased something, is being told by the shop assistant to have a….. You will know the rest. I either say nothing or reply with HAND. Which is an acronym of the sentence they have just said.
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It would leave them bemused.
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Have a nice day?
Nowt wrong with that Sammy.
Just being polite to a elderly gentleman.
Your lucky its not me serving you.
” oi you. Yes you you miserable old bastard.
Whatve you got in your pockets?”
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I’ve stolen all your apostrophes, Mis. Well not really because you don’t use them. Have you ever heard a yank say he’s going to give you an ultimatum. When he says that final word, you’ll spilt your sides with laughter.
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Do you take a rain check, or do you prefer to get piss wet through ?
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The word “need” is the very worst import from ‘murrrica.
“Do you need a bag?”
‘I need to leave at 12″
“Do we need to do this?”
“I need some help”
One day, I’m going to go postal about this. Probably in the Post Office itself. Someone will say, “You neeeed to queue at the other side” and I’ll start popping people like a starved Musliîm terrorîst outside a synagogue in ramadamaham.
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Americanisms:
‘Could’ve went’ instead of couldve gone.
‘Aha’ meaning yes.
Kids these days are all saying zee instead of zed when zee was made up by Americans to sound different.
Privacy pronounced to rhyme with dive (can’t stand that one).
Advertisement pronounced like advertise-ment.
Harassment pronounced with emphasis on the second syllable (even more annoying when some leftard or uppity bint combines it with sexual or racial harassment).
Saying laying or laid to mean lying on a bed (not strictly American but still fucking ignorant).
Basically with everything. Everything is basic these days.
Literally: if it is literally raining then the literally is unnecessary. If it isn’t literally raining then it’s not raining at all. No you’re not literally freezing because then you’d be dead!
OMG
Pronouncing schedule as skedule.
What utter piece of cuntstubble started pronouncing h as ‘haytch’?
I’ll probably think of more.
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Thought of another one:
People saying ‘at the end of the day’ to mean ultimately. At the end of what fucking day precisely?
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Saying ass or asshole. An ass is a donkey.
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Oh yeah. ‘If you need anything, come and talk to myself.’
Arghhh! You mean ‘come and talk to ME!’
Myself is not some sort of formal way of saying me, it’s reflexive as in ‘I talk to myself’ or intensive as in ‘I did it myself.’
I hear this shit every day.
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They also put too much enforces on the last syllable.
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People that say “at the end of the day” usually also pepper their conversations with “he turned round and said an’ then she turned round and said” usually pronounced tun-ran-sed.
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Here’s a cracker from the film Double Indemnity 1944 when Edward G Robinson the insurance claims adjuster says “They may think its twice as safe, because there are two of them. but it isn’t twice as safe. in fact its ten times twice as dangerous.”
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“Can I get a…”
NO YOU CAN’T. That’s what the person at the counter in front of you is employed to do, get the thing for you that you would like.
Friends is responsible for this particular verbal Cuntism.
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Trump could of avoided a international incident and had Nicola Maduro kidnapped by us.
ISAC Mercenary corp.
Artful cunter fluent in Spanish-interpreter.
Arfurbrain can fly a plane and handle airtraffic control – pilot.
I can be the getaway driver with a van.
We have ex soldiers on here,
Itd be a piece of piss.
The Expendables
If happy he could hire us to go into Greenland?
Cut the phone lines
Help take it over.
Maybe give us a bit of land or something.
He missed a trick there…
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Wifeswappers.
Them greenlanders.
Into wifeswapping.
Filthy little fuckers.
Sadly mostly eskimo types.
Most of the woman look like Eamonn Holmes
And have pudding bowl haircuts like theyre auditioning for the Inspiral Carpets
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Ten-Four Mis!
as one of these ex-military types I would have reluctantly left the cabin in the woods to lend my very particular set of skills for ‘one last job’ as a way to exorcise some of my demons. Just so long as there wasn’t too much protocol as I have no respect for authority anymore.
Stay frosty
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Saw the Inspirals just recently. In a converted church in Manchester. Top night, with four out of the five original line-up (Craig Gill RIP). They were back to their classic ‘Garage Full Of Flowers’ and ‘Plane Crash’ garage sound. Magic.
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When the old girl cheekily smacks my bottom in public I always say in my finest septic accent, hey watch my fanny. She loves it.
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“Let me be clear on this point,
The current situation is very complex “
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These fucking hamshanks also butchered lots of the foreign language films I like to watch. Glad I downloaded loads of them when once a member of Film Four. They also used lots of colloquialism’s for a better understanding of our language.
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There’s a very attractive American lass who in an advert says ” you keep dawg food in the fridge”
I would have turfed the dawg out and opened a bottle of wine for the little lovely..😁
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I’ve seen that advert, Doc.
That saucy redhead….
The words bang, outside bog door and force nine gale spring to mind.
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God damm mother fucker son of a bitch is quite good though
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OT from errrr OT. Apologies in advance.
I dare say that incompetent inept cunt Amorim won’t be too devastated about his sacking.
He’ll be on some beach somewhere. Counting his millions in compo, and hanging out of his fit Mrs.🙄
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/G967OnvXYAA3rtG?format=jpg&name=900×900
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She’s pretty fit, it must be said.
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“Do you know what I mean?”
My sister appends her every utterance with this. I bite my tongue when I want to say “I presume so, you were speaking English right?”
I love my sister but FFS.
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‘Know wot ah mean? Innit’.
Morning all. Innit.
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One that really makes my teeth itch is ‘I don’t care what anybody says’.
Usually daft and uppity wimmin who say it. Their way of telling someone their opinion means piss all, without actually mentioning you.
A bit ago, I said I thought Lana Del Rey was a bit – well – shit. Cue face like a smacked arse from one my wife’s horrendous relatives, who seems to idolise this talentless harridan.
Then, a few days later. The daft bitch still had a grudge simmering.. So, she says in a voice caked in ice cold snot and smugness. ‘I think ‘Lana’ (like she fucking knows her!) is the best.’ Followed by ‘I don’t care what anybody says.’
Only thing is, this horrible cow says that about everything and she says it all the bloody time. One of those revolting bints who simply can’t handle being disagreed with. But, she’s too snide and gutless to engage in any debate or discussion.
One day, someone is going to snap and say, ‘You are getting a slap, right in your horrible mush…. I don’t care what anybody fucking says.’🤣
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