Many years ago in my younger days I met and fell head over heels in love with a beautiful girl.

We spent a decade together and spent most of the early years in particular, living in each others pockets, such was our fondness for each other.

We had a baby daughter together and were happy for a long time but later in the relationship, cracks started to appear and things just gradually deteriorated.

Poor lass had had a particularly troubled upbringing and her behaviour started to become a problem.

She was running up severe debts unbeknown to me and was drinking a bit too much despite it not being good for her.
I was certainly no angel either and probably didn’t help matters at times, being an immature cunt in his 20s.

We eventually parted company and the split was horrific when I look back.
I genuinely tried my best to keep things amicable but she was seemingly just permanently on the warpath.

She eventually moved a few miles away and had apparently moved on with her life, meeting a new fella and having another baby to which I was actually happy for her.

This new relationship unfortunately broke down and she sadly spent the next several years in self destruction mode.

Sadly the poor lass died recently of what I believe to be alcohol related complications and I attended the funeral along with our daughter and I can honestly say it was the saddest occasion of my life. Seeing her Dad looking old and confused, my daughter being devastated and my ex’s other little girl so upset just added to the feeling of utter melancholy.

They put on a slideshow of old photos at the service and some of them featured yours truly, 25 years younger alongside this beautiful girl looking like a happy family.

To say my heart has been broken would be an understatement which brings me on to the purpose of me writing this nom up.

I feel because she was an ex from yesteryear that I have no right to feel such pain, guilt and regret because it’s nearly 2 decades since we separated- but I do.
I also feel uncomfortable crying in front of Mrs Jelmet who has been supportive but at the same time, I don’t want to or feel as though I should.

I’m sure most, if not all of the people reading this have experienced some severe grief at some point or other.

I’ve lost close old friends and more elderly relatives but can say that I have never felt this sad at a bereavement.

There’s no link or anything with this nomination as it’s just me rambling about how heartbroken I’m currently feeling and wondering how long it will take to start feeling better.

Thanks for reading.

Nominated by : Herman Jelmet

Herman – Wishing you peace and acceptance from all of us at Admin Mansions – NA.