The nomination of such a non entity, unfortunately automatically requires me to battle severe acid reflux for the next few hours. But the acknowledgement of such a wet unnoticeable fart needs to be had.
This, nothing. Sorry, I mean “comedian”, decides to pipe up and provide us plebs with a voice that no one gives a thrupney bit over, and has declared that he’s sick of George cross’s and finds it wascist.
I’m what would be classed as a millennial. Late 30’s. Tarnished with the small sticky brush of shite. But I can accurately say, that 95% of people my age or under, haven’t a fucking clue as to who “Alan” is. Those that do remember him vaguely from Jonathan creek, a show no one watched and no one to this day has any idea what it was about other than the name being in our consciousness because tv was so shit then you couldn’t escape to the internet and streaming. So those poor souls are confused to seizures as to when he was ever funny or relevant….
So, “Alan” you floppy haired, non entity that seems to be so desperate to remain in the pulse of things he has to come out with such vitriolic shite. I say to you; just fuck off you unfunny side show bob looking twat, and if you want to comment on current affairs may I suggest you move from your 4 bed cunt cube in a gated community to somewhere a bit more ethnically enriched you floppy haired non entity shit cunt
Nominated by: Inspector Grobbler
Additional link provided by PT Admin:
OT, but of interest…
Our much despised Chancellor, Rachel the Third, has had ‘details’ about her ‘rental arrangements’ given to Keir Stasi and ethics advisers.
Let us hope – like Dirty Ange – the evil haired witch features slag gets her long overdue comeuppance.
My kingdom for a horse revisited.
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*ahem* .. after everything else these self-interest cunts have done, you didn’t really think there’d be comeuppance, surely?
Starmer rules out investigation after Reeves admits rental ‘mistake’.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cd04d0yxnrvo
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Apparently, Kier Stasi deemed an apology as acceptable.
By that measure, those who’ve also made this ‘mistake’ should get off scott free.
Like fuck will they.
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But does she have his “full support”?
Probably yes, until the budget, then he’ll throw her under the bus.
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He all bar put a veto on it. I guess ‘mistakes’, once declared and apologised for – are relative to this bastard cunt slime minister.
Ask Lucy Connolly.
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My sincere apologies to Inspector Gobbler and Admin, but I’m desperate for advice.
Completely O/T.
My cat Dexter developed an abscess on his head about six weeks ago. I took him to the vets, of course, but despite repeat visits and several courses of ( extremely expensive) antibiotics, the infection will NOT clear.
Can anyone recommend a natural homeopathic remedy?
At this stage I’d even wear a voodoo mask, loin cloth and cast bones!
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20 years since I’ve owned a cat JP, but I had one who kept getting into fights and getting abscesses from the wounds. I seem to recall dipping cotton wool balls in salty water then applying directly to the abscess did the trick – you may well have done that already of course, but it has the benefit of being something you can apply directly to the wound, as many times as you like.
Good luck mate, fingers crossed
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Hello JP. Sorry to hear about your cat. Try medical grade honey applied to the affected area. Maybe in conjunction with the antibiotics and bathing with salt water as already suggested.
Hope he gets well soon.
Good evening.
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As an owner of two cats, I am sorry yours has this illness, Jeezum.
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Thank you, Dave.
Not summat I’ve tried yet, but will.
I’m going to have to burrito wrap him to do it, because I like having skin on my arms and hands, but I’ll do ought to make him right. The fucking, little bastard!
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Some people find Alan Davies charming.
His lisp
Mop of curly hai
Some people find Alan Davies charming.
His lisp
His mop of curly hair.
Not me.
I find him repulsive.
That constantly wet mouth like hes got too much gozz
In there.
Id like to smash a pint pot in his face.
And id like to do it in front of Stephen Fry.
And say
“look what you made me do
Alans probably blind now!
You should be ashamed of yourself”
And watch the tears roll down his cheeks.
Magical.
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Im stuttering with hatred. 😡
Thats your fault Fry.
Wait till i get my hands on Alan.
His punishment will be severe.
Youve basically put him in a wheelchair you callous cunt.
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Would it be safe to say you’re not fond of him, Mis?
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Take him or leave him JP.
😁
Been working in Bakewell today.
What a beautiful town.
Truly splendid.
We live in a beautiful part of the country dont we?
Trout in the streams
Swans gliding by majestically.
And cash payment
Sorry Rachel youll not see any of that sweetheart 😁
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I haven’t been to Bakewell for ages, loved feeding the trout off the footbridge from the carpark into the town, more fun than pooh sticks.
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JP, it is a bugger. We had three moggies but our cleaning lady delivered us an abused kitten in July . Six weeks ago Lulu ( as she is now known) presented us with five kittens. They are all healthy and growing apace but nine cats in one household is too many. The question is do we recognise reality and let some go to hopefully good homes or do we keep them all .
We have a wonderful house on a close, river at the bottom of the garden so it is hard to imagine them living better lives but we are both getting on in years.
Any advice would be appreciated.
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Guzzi, bless your soul. How very lovely of you to take Lulu in. Please keep her, as you obviously intended to do.
Advertise the kittens, and/or contact a local rescue to help with rehoming. Your home sounds wonderful, you lucky person, but I agree the four is pushing it but nine is boarding on pet hoarding.
Do let me know how you get on.
Good luck.
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Cheers me old mucker. Sometimes things are obvious but don’t realise them. Lulu is obviously staying but Lady Guzzi has given them names – Betty, Sylvester, Reggie, Steve and Mabel. This makes things harder.
Trust your moggie is well….
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Oh dear, Guzzi.
Never name them, unless you are keeping them
I take it Lady Guzzi is already knitting mittens?
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I’ll update on Dexter once he’s had some salt baths.
I’m not looking forward to doing it, but needs must when the devil drives.
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I’d be less optimistic on the advertising ‘free to good home’ side, solo.
Often cunts that want a ‘shed cat’ to keep rodents at bay, but not giving a shit about the cat go that route. Cheap food or scraps, no innoculations, no vet spend if ill or hurt. No kindness, even. Something happens? .. they just find another ‘free to good home’ (how many advertisers check these supposed ‘good homes’?)
Not always, not everyone … I have a 15 y.o. here that was brought to our vet practice while we were there for something else that day. Vet told us later that an old cunt had turned up later that would have brought him as a ratter, and would have had an on average 6 month life expectancy had he gone to live at her place.
Another huge red flag would be if someone told you they were actually willing to take all 5. Kneejerk reaction might be ‘what a relief’…. but no-one wants 5, 4 or 3, really, kittens at once for any good reason. 2 sometimes to be company for each other.
But there are some very bad reasons to take full sets of ‘free’ critters.
Training fighting dogs (knackers and scumbags) is one. I was trying to avoid saying so here, .. but it’s a brutal truth.
My advice? .. do it n conjunction with a vets practice. ‘5 kittens will be here Friday afternoon ‘free to good home’. It means they already have a vet, at least .. or if an unknown arrives you ask plenty of questions ; someone genuine shouldn’t mind.
‘Do you have other pets?’ .. ‘Which vets do you use?’ etc. Would you send a few pics of him/her settling in for the first week or two? is a good one. You have a right to test.
Someone turns up with kids that start handling the kittens stupidly, and the adult says nothing … tell that cunt ‘no’ and that that is the reason …
It’s good that you want the best for them, so you’ll be ‘gladder’ afterwards, the more vigilant you are in the process. The vetting process. Couldn’t resist.
You could try in conjunction with a cat shelter, either, but the people there are generally already snowed under with kittens, always. Anyways any vet should see it as 5 potential new future patients and also could even give you a ‘no’ look if a wrong ‘un comes along that the vet knows is a wrong ‘un.
Any other asks? .. I’ll be back here later to check ….
Been doing animal rescue for 20 years. Am not even close to your neck of the woods, though ; ‘begorrah’, and such.
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Touch of bad phrasing by me there … I should have said ‘knackers and OTHER scumbags’ …
The animal abusing cunts….
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Bordering, not boarding, phfft!
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What a bunch of old softies! Had to call a halt when the cats./ kittens got to double numbers, now just me and one who will possibly see me out. Cat charity will help. To para phrase “two legs good but four legs are generally far nicer and more pleasant”
Ref. The bitch and her rented house licence. WE don’t put you in a “grace and favour” gaff so you can chisel a few more readies. Any rent should go back to the tax payer, or live at home.
or fill it with impossible since you lot are so fond of them.
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O/T. Andrew has been demoted again.
He is now the alleged nonsensical formerly known as Prince.
He’s also being booted out of Royal Lodge.
I was rather hoping for a beheading.
Fuck him.
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