are a cunt.
Adverts have been around for a very long time. According to Google, the first ad we have record of was on a papyrus found in Thebes, and dated at c3,000 BC. It was done by a craftsman to promote his weaving store. Ever since then they’ve been around to irritate or bore us to various degrees.
It’s fair to say that I can ignore ads for the most part, but some annoy the fucking life out of me for some reason. Take the case of this shitty ad for Maltesers. Here we have a classic for our time; a family of effnicks being introduced to ‘grandma’s companion’, an utterly gormless-looking wally chomping on chocolates, who is, of course, the figure-of-fun token white on display;
Speaking of ‘rainbow ads’, how about the utterly weird ‘copy nothing’ ad for Jaguar cars? This features a bizarre looking collection of individuals poncing about in strange costumes, but oddly, there’s not a car in sight… Reports suggest that since this very peculiar and irritating ad appeared, sales of Jags have slid into oblivion. ‘Go woke go broke’ then?;
youtube
Now some ads drive you to distraction by the sheer amount of repetition they subject you to. Who’s not been battered into submission when on YouTube by THIS total cunt?;
Yes they can truly annoy and irritate, and really, I suspect that’s the point. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.The more annoying an ad is, the more it lives rent free in your head. To this day I can’t shake out ‘on and on and on and Ariston’, and ‘Go Compare!’. If the ad man can throw some controversy into the mix as well and get people arguing about the ad in the meeja and online, then he’s generated (as that appalling Americanism has it) ‘more bangs per buck’.
I’m sure that you lot out in the world of cunting will have have your own ‘horrible ads’ to report. One thing’s for sure; like earthquakes, locusts, the clap, wasps, peacefuls and other undesirables, annoying adverts are another thing we’ll never get rid of.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
How about this one?
I bet Kravd and Mince Pie Guy have had a few of these
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsSGn5HSKkw&ab_channel=TVVaultAustralia
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Since they banned booze and tobacco adverts, they are all crap.
Didn’t see .any dark keys in ” Consulate, cool has a mountain stream”, adverts.
The cunts, record and fast forward.
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Remember Katie and Philip?**. “Philip rang to say he would be home late from the office but was bringing his boss to dinner. I had nothing in the larder, except some rubbishy old beef cubes – luckily there was plenty of water in the house”.
(**Oxo)
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What a woman that Katie was WC. She could work miracles with a mouldy spud and a dried out carrot. And an Oxo cube, to ‘give the meal man appeal’ of course.
Bet she was fucking awesome in the sack as well. Lucky old Phillip.
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‘they eat a great many of these; the peel them with their little knives (ha ha ha ha) boil them for twenty of their minutes, and then smash them all to bits… ‘ (ha ha ha ha).
Anybody remember that fucking awful advert for Cadbury’s Smash, with the little metal aliens condescending, nay insulting people who, you know, actually bought, prepared, then ate potatoes, instead of emptying dry powder into hot water to reconstitute it into something resembling wallpaper paste? ‘Oh my God, I’m ashamed to admit I actually cook potatoes!’.
I hate that fucking ad to this day, and yet so many people seem to remember it fondly, as a ‘classic’.
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The Cadbury’s Smash Martians.
I often wondered why Cadbury’s – who were famous for making chocolate – made instant mashed potatoes?
That version of Smash still exists. It no longer has the Cadbury’s name on it, but it still looks and tastes like shite.
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One of the best adverts was the Dam Busters Carling advert. Great advert, awful beer. Certainly would be made now, which is a badge to be proud of. Perhaps that would be a good slogan for a product these days “Certainly wouldn’t be made now, thanks to cunts”
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I remember when that utter cunt Sally Nugent referred, on al-Beeb, to the legendary Dambusters raid as ‘infamous’, and was forced to apologise.
Listen you absolute shithouse, 53 RAF aircrew lost their lives in that raid, and you aren’t even fit to wipe the arse of any of them.
Jesus, give it time and you’ll have cockwombles on the Beeb calling the raid ‘a war crime’.
Ah sorry guys; mention of that ad struck a nerve about Nugent’s remark. I’d have sacked the cow if it had been left up to me.
Evening all.
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Final score from Craven Cottage…
Fulham All Blacks 1
Manchester United All Blacks 1
As old Jimmy Hill would say ‘A poor advert for the game.’🙄
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The last year before I said no more to T.V. signals of any kind (and the oh so fun I’m quitting your shit’ phonecall with sky) … a few things were recorded mid December, then not gotten around to ’til February.
Now. Like anyone else who isn’t a masochistic cunt, ad breaks were always ff’d past on recordings playbacks.
But there was something, folks, almost physically stomach-turning about (even on ff) seeing a string of what were still clearly all those fucking Xmas abominations ; the supermarket ones et al .. they’re bad enough in December, .. but in Feb they were uncanny-valley. Hard to put words on, exactly, but ‘awful’ will do for now.
Awful shit, altogether.
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I remember this one.
‘Oooh look. Diversity.’🤢
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VM2eLhvsSM
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Looks like it was made yesterday…
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The Simoniz G.T. Wax ads from the early 1970’s were some of my favourites. Having a steamy tone, with scantily clad gorgeous young ladies, that looked like they were enjoying themselves, doing all the rubbing. The camera on one rolling in & out, more on the models vital statistics than the waxing process of course! All thanks to director Ridley Scott. Over in 30 seconds, unfortunately.
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that advert for Andrew about kids holding in their poo is a cunt, who wants to hear a p@ki fartiing, it’s bad enough smelling a p@ki fart let alone being told of the toilet habits of one, , oven , oven , oven
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also let’s not forget the lovely Valerie Leon as the hair karate girl, I would ruin her..dry
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O/T, just watched a news clip about the Notting hill stabfest.
140 arrests so far…!
“We just want to celebrate African and Caribbean culture”
Well, here’s a novel thought.
Fuck off back to Africa or the Caribbean and celebrate your backwards culture there..!
Twerk your fucking fat arses all you want.
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OT, Dickie Dribbler has notified me in the last Dead Pool thread that one of my choices, Jerry Adler, has flown.
Just in case admin didn’t see Dickie’s post.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Adler
Thanks
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