And, it’s the Fab Four (or is it the Fab Two?) again….
The Beatles.

Instead of focusing on their own musical legacy and giving fans what they want (a Rubber Soul deluxe reissue or the Yellow Submarine film in 4K), the Fab Fools are once again trying to appeal to Gen-Z knobheads and ‘compete’ with modern stars like Taylor Swift (sorry Macca. But Taylor has a far nicer arse then yours).

What is the latest brainwave from Apple to reel in the young ‘uns and idiots?
A Beatles biopic. But, it’s not just one biopic…. It’s bloody four of them….

Each Beatle is getting their own film, and it’s apparently all official and has the (remains of) the bands’ blessing. For a start, why four films about one group? Will all four actors appear in all four films? Not to mention all the others who figure in the story (George Martin, Brian Epstein etc). What is the fucking point of doing four times the work?

Also, the fact that this is ‘official’ rings big fuck off alarm bells. Is each film going to be an ego wank to appease each Beatle or their widows? Yoko Fucking Ono is too old and doddery to do anything nowadays. But her son Sean is well involved in this project. And George Harrison’s widow has become mega uppity and ‘voiciferous’ in the Apple corridors in recent years. The films will probably be sanitised to fuck and leave out anything nasty that they did (sacking Pete Best, the appalling treatment of Cynthia Lennon, John and Yoko’s list of cuntery, Macca belittling and bossing Harrison, and George shagging Ringo’s Mrs).Many old timer fans are dreading the biopics. Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody showed the world that you can write any old made up and never happened shit you like and call it the official story, history and facts be damned. Because you can place bets now that’s what will happen.

Then, there’s the actors themselves…. All four look nothing like the original Beatles. The Ringo one looks Chinese from where I am sitting. And, will we get the usual caricatures? The sneering sarky like a Scouse Vera Duckworth piss and vinegar Lennon (see you, Ian Hart)? The wobbly headed wide eyed fruity voiced thumbs aloft McCartney? And, the other tow will probably be the most difficult to portray (accurately, that is).

I also wonder what the woke quota is going to be… Of course, a film set in the 1960s shouldn’t have one. But I bet it does. That awful Queen biopic had hecklers at an early Queen concert calling Freddie Mercury a ‘Paki’. According to those who knew the band and who were there, nobody ever referred to Mercury by this name. Freddie was born in Zanzibar. Off the coast of Africa. Nowhere near Paki bastard Stan. One of Mercury’s ex gay lovers in the film also said on TV (in the film) that Freddie was just a ‘scared little Paki boy’. No such interview was ever broadcast or even happened. But ‘Paki-itis’ crept into that film with a vengeance. The Beatles have already been bitten by the diversity bug Some treeswinger hip hop twat no sod knows doing an ‘essay’ for their box set of Revolver. So, it wouldn’t surprise me if the amount of black faces in these films is considerable.

Anyway, I reckon these films are going to be a disaster.

Hollywood Reporter.

Nominated by : Norman