I was round a customers today and she offered me an ice cream which I readily accepted after sweating like Huw Edwards hiding in some bushes at a school sports day. I was just about to tuck in when she casually mentioned, “Its soy milk ice cream, I’m not doing dairy much these days. You can barely taste the difference”.
Well her dog certainly did as I waited until she had fucked off and then offered the cornetto to the hound who gave me a look of ‘I’d rather eat the box it came in’. I’m sorry its proper creamy whipped ice cream or nothing.
Soy milk ice cream? Psh.
You start buying sustainable knitwear from Oxfam and recycling your underpants in solidarity for Palestine once you are exposed.
Its true!
I read it on IsAC!
Nominated by : Liberal Liquidator
How do you make soy milk?
Do you have to squeeze a libtard till liquid comes out..
It sounds revolting however its made..
9
Soy was developed by the shady insidious Chinks wasn’t it?
Purveyors of other delightful products such as bat flu, swine flu, bird flu etc.
5
You can ;picture all the poofter MPs, actors and ladies hairdressers lining up to eat it. Ice cream for the really cool duckies.
7
I remember having this soya shite during and after the war. It was the powdered milk substitute until real milk became available again.
104
A bit like real women compared to transvestites, or TVs as they were known.
5
You got your order in of batik trousers, open toed sandals, a Himalayan hooded poncho, and a trip to Brighton booked yet LL?
11
Its made by milking lactating hippies and chestfeeding trans mums.
Id of gone straight to hospital and demanded to be checked out LL.
The long term effects aren’t known.
Week1-Youll start wearing sandals and flares,
Listening to the Grateful Dead and saying things are groovy.
Week2- your living in tipi and changing your name to Dolphin or wavy Gravy.
Week3- your fully infected.
Charles Manson stare, centre parting, and babbling about ley lines, chakras and third eye meditation.
At that point the only cures are
A) Mark Chapman
B) Altamont
Shine on you crazy diamond ✌️☮️
10
I thought, Mis, you eventually end up singing “On the Good Ship Lollipop.”
3
Not these days Sammy. Now you end up screaming ‘Death Death to the IDF’
https://www.glastofestfeed.com/glastonbury-festival/vendors-traders/100-dairy-free/
4
Thats week 4 Sammy.
When hes walking around naked with his face painted and his hairs down to his waist.
3
Hopefully week 5 will be moasad finding, and dispatching the cunts.
3
Ive got to be honest LL,
But your partly to blame for your customer trying to poison you.
Your too nice.
If the old bitch had offered me a soy ice cream id of asked
“what are you fuckin insinuating?”
Maybe spat in her face or taken a shite on her lawn.
To soft with them, they take the piss.
7
I would second that LL you’re just too nice. Customers offering you ice cream and feeding their dogs mean you must be a first rate sort of a chap, more power to your elbow sir.
Good morning.
PS I will only eat Magnums or Joe’s Ice Cream ( from their own shops as the stuff they sell elsewhere is a bit different) when we are down in Swansea.
Whatever you do avoid Ben and Jerry’s , they deserve a cunting all of their own the corporate, woke, bastards.
8
What drives this tolerance (not”toleration” please!) and even desire for anything and everything fucking ersatz nowadays? Non_dairy ice-cream, decaffeinated coffee, alcohol free-beer, sugar_free sweets? What the fuck are they? We are told that traditional recipes which included alcohol should now be used leaving out the alcohol. Pleased to report the wife ignores that one. Motor cars which steer themselves and with gadgets to prevent you sliding them or getting close to other vehicles. Electric parking brakes so you can’t pull a handbrake turn.
Fuck them all to hell! 1980s were the best!
10
Oh I don’t know, arfur.
Cum-free climax would save a lot of cleaning up afterwards.
7
You clean up afterwards Geordie? I always knew there was something soft about you.
4
Donald trump has had a win in yankland.
Donald is known to like Coca-Cola, but in the US they sweeten it with corn syrup🤮
Hes moaned about it for a while.
Anyway Coca-Cola have just announced theyre going to be using cane sugar again as a sweetener.
I dont like Coca-Cola no matter what its sweetened with.
8
You can even get yourself an ersatz woman nowadays.
They aren’t self lubricating, but at least they can’t get pregnant.
Oh wait!
Apparently they can!
7
Not to forget laugh-free comedy, White Caucasian-free advertising and truth-free education.
10
If I mixed powdered chalk with water and sold it as milk, trading standards would be on to me in a flash.
‘It’s not milk’ they’d declare.
Yet, they are happy to accept that a processed byproduct of a bean is.
Work that one out.
Vegan cheese is another one.
Surely, to qualify as cheese, it would have to have gone through some semblance of the ancient method of cheese making.
But no. Mixing some god awful concoction in a bowl and letting it set is deemed sufficient.
My point here is. If it isn’t whatever it claims to be, it shouldn’t be sold as such.
Like a man in a dress being described as a trans woman.
It’s not.
It’s a bloke in a dress.
11
My brother was once in Tescoids at the end of a 12 hour night shift, gathering ingredients for a good breakfast.
Eager to get home and fed, he didn’t realise the “sausages” he picked were fucking meat free plant based efforts. Looked like turds but probably less flavour.
He was mortified, the daft cunt.
Went on about it for ages.
9
Real foods for real people.
3
Loads of cunts are at it,it makes them feel “special”..
In a cafe having a fry up,ten to one at another table some cunt will be mithering the poor lass taking the orders about soy milk oat milk chai lattes and their various food intolerances.
It’s ersatz food made in a big fucking factory owned by cunts laughing their heads off at the rank stupidity of the “right on”.
It should all be banned.
Good morning.
9
I read the other day that scientists are experimenting with lab-grown meat.
You what? How does that work, eh?
What’s the point of it, if we start running short of real meat surely we should just eat the scientists?
7
“Soy” ice cream?No thanks.Substitute cack.
6
There aren’t enough real food restaurants and cafes opening up.
2
This bollocks of an ice cream will only be popular with the same sort of people protesting for Gaza and welcoming illegal rapists, like telling everyone else how right on and progressive they are, and are excited to vote for terrorist loving Corbyn’s new political party.
When this woke fad fucks off soy ice cream will die with it.
9
The last war caused none real foods to develop much more quickly and spread allergies amongst the young. Glad I escaped it.
2
I once accidentally picked up Soy instead of goats milk. Oh well have to use it.
As soon as it hit the inside of my mouth, nearly spewed my boot laces up.
It is the devil’s invention.
Still saves the Earth by clearing rain forests to grow the evil fucking shit.
9
*WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING*
Soy milk contains phytoestrogens, compounds that mimic estrogen in the body, thereby explaining why soy infested products are firm favourites of trannies and soy boys the world over. You have been warned.
7
Header pic is rather naughty 😂
We have to save the planet and all these cows belching and farting is causing global warming.
5
Send the soy crap to these cunts..🤮
BBC News – Africa to be hit hard as UK foreign aid cuts revealed
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c1wpr39zg5xo
5
They can fucking drown in it for me.
Good morning Doctor.
5
Fucking tight, UT.
Let’s hope the reduction in foreign aid kills millions of sponging darkıe cunts.
5
Meanwhile the Epping Africans have been given a free hotel upgrade.
4
According to my Telegraph this morning, the police actually bought with them protestors who complain about normal decent people complaining about damned freeloaders and “asylum seekers” getting free accomodation. Utterly appalling. What has happened to our once great police force?:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/07/22/police-take-pro-migrant-protesters-to-asylum-hotel/
4
Begone foul dairy substitute of Satans nutsack and take your demonic hag with you.
3
Soy milk bloody ice cream?
As Coronation Street’s (when it was good) Jerry Booth would say…
‘Ah must say, a’m disgusted.’
3
O/T I am surprised nobody had Ozzie Osbourne in their Dead Pool list. We will never see his like again – if we play our cards right.
4
Mr O Osbourne,
Seat 58,
Row 296,
Purgatory.
Dear Mr Osbourne,
I am writing with regard to your application for entry into the Kingdom of the Lord. Unfortunately you are on record as having misappropriated the Sabbath in the former life, a sin beyond all others. Consequently your application has been rejected.
Enjoy the fires of Hell.
Yours biblically,
St Peter
5
You mean like the `ace of spades`?
♠️
Sorry, that’s the other one, isn`t it.
Motörhead, Black Sabbath, Butthole Surfers, Bad News.
Death + skulls + `satanic things` … the stuff of 12-year-old boys` imaginations who`s testicles haven’t yet dropped and probably never will.
6
Hopefully, keeps my pension pot topped up…👍
BBC News – Gaza war: Is the UK selling arms to Israel?
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cz09k48z9v0o
6
I do miss the powdered eggs because it was my loving mother who gave them to me. But would look at me in disgust today if she knew I was thinking of the only genuine thing that’s white & creamy on a ladies tongue could be a man’s spunk.
3
The total knobheads I work for have changed all of the milk in the coffee machines to oat milk. To save the planet or just bowing to the fuckwit minority with a lactose disability.
They forget to mention this. I also forgot to mention that my body will spontaneously reject oat milk or any other chemical form of the devil’s spunk, like soy milk.
That resulted in me spending several hours swapping ends in our training centre toilets, eventually returning to the training suite to announce that I would now be going home and reporting the discrimination against the lactose tolerant to HR.
2