is a cunt

Well here we are cunters; the first anniversary of Labour’s ‘loveless landslide’, and as the late great Queen Betty II would have put it, ‘it’s been a right fucking’ “annus horribilis” for the cunts’.

Indeed. I mean, where to start? I suppose that the economy’s as good a place as any. Labour was all about ‘change’; you know, broadening opportunity for business, instilling confidence, creating loads of new jobs and incentives, no tax hikes and shit. But then…stands back in amazement. Rachel from accounts suddenly realises that she’s got a big black hole to fill, extending to about £20 billion. ‘Nobody told me’, squeaks the Richard III doppelganger, ‘now tax and national insurance will have to go up. And as for our promise on not axeing the winter fuel allowance, well it’s got to go. After all, we’ll got to find the billions needed to pay for thousands of “irregular” migrants and a load of loony “net zero” initiatives from somewhere’.

And speaking of financial matters, we of course have just witnessed the pathetic sight of the PM folding like a piece of wet bog roll on the subject of much-needed reform of the out-of-control benefits system. Faced by a massive revolt by his own back benchers, Sir FreeGear has had to slink away, leaving the rebels with the knowledge that they’ve now got him by the short and curlies in future. Run the country? He couldn’t run a bath.

And speaking of illegal migrants, old beloved leader promised to get a grip on this festering problem, with all of its damaging social and economic consequences. So he immediately cancelled the proposed Rwanda plan for deterrence, and replaced it with a vague and useless pledge to ‘smash the gangs’. Strangely enough, they’ve flocked into the land of milk and honey by the tens of thousands during Labour’s first year. It’s the nation’s only growth industry.

And speaking of gangs, for months the government blocked all talk of a national inquiry into P*K! rape gangs, with our very own Max Headroom lookalike saying that those calling for such an inquiry were ‘climbing onto a far-right bandwagon’. Funnily enough, when Baroness Casey’s report hit the front pages in mid-June and the extent of the problem was clear for all to see, ol’ Keir Shitter had to back peddle furiously. The genie wasn’t going back into the bottle, no way. We’re all ‘far right’ now then, Sir Keir, and that includes you. Now watch this space as the government desperately tries to ‘manage’ the scope and the extent of the inquiry.

Naturally TwoTier had hardly got his foot in the door at No 10 before the betrayal of the Brexit referendum was underway. No mention of this in the manifesto of course, but he signed us up to a regulatory regime in exports which ‘realigns’ us with Brussels, Labour Newspeak for ‘puts us back under the EU thumb’, and sells out our fishermen in the process, not to mention 17.5 million members of the electorate.

And speaking of foreign policy successes, how could we forget the Chagos Islands sell-out, and the ludicrous spectacle of shilly-shallying over the bombing of Iran, when *wife’s voice, as she reads over my shoulder*, ‘blimey, is this a cunting or a dissertation?’. Yeah she’s right, I could go on on the vile duplicity and hypocrisy of Labour, the lies and the u-turns, but I guess that cunters know where I stand on the subject by now.

‘Can I take it that you won’t be voting Labour next time then dear?’ says the missus.
‘Vote Labour?’ says I. ‘I’d rather shit in my hand and clap’. I bloody well would too.

the sun

Nominated by Ron Knee.