The day started very nicely weather-wise, so the wife and I decided to go for a stroll in the local park. Bad decision as it turned out.
There we were, ambling happily along, when suddenly out of the undergrowth to my left burst this fucking hound, and before I could react, he took one look and leapt straight at me. I went backwards, instinctly trying to keep my balance, and collided with the missus, who went sprawling onto the path, bashing her head off the tarmac with a resounding ‘crash!’, and hurting her back.
As if the presence of this fucking great mutt wasn’t enough, up then comes its cunt of an owner, uselessly yelling ‘down! come here!’ at the bastard as it leapt about. Needless to say, I was absolutely livid, and yelled ‘can’t you control your bloody dog, you idiot?’ at the top of my voice. ‘Oh I’m soooo sorry’ the cow whimpers lamely. ‘Sorry?’ shouts I, ‘what bloody good’s that, you twat?’. Then the look came over her face; that ‘this horrid man’s being toxic to poor me’ look. ‘Is there anything I can do?’ she simpers. ”Yes’ says I. ‘Piss off, and take your stupid mutt with you before I kick the bastard into the pond!’. And off she crept, for all the world the injured party in the exchange. How could the horrid man positively not adore sweet Wolfie? He’s SUCH a pet.
Well you can probably guess the outcome. Several hours spent in A and E, while the medics did their excellent work of checking the wife over good and proper, patching her up and administering morphine before saying that she was okay to be discharged and taken home. Here she remains well shaken up and in considerable discomfort.
(Sorry to hear that, Ron. How’s she doing? – NA)
As for Barbara fucking Woodhouse and her calamitously behaved mutt, it was (and it remains) my earnest wish that the pair of them should go back up to the main road and promptly get run over by a truck.The only thing that could possibly have improved on this scenario would have been my presence there to witness it.
Cunts.
YouTube. (Link by Sam Beau)
Nominated by : Ron Knee
The dog in the header pic has just caught a whiff of Suckdick Khunt.
12
That’s my dog when it meets a Labour voter or a rapeugees welcome type.
11
Dogs are excellent judges of character.
11
Most definitely. Cunt dog owners give responsible dog owners a bad name.
A big dog tried to mount my 4 month old puppy a few years back. ‘Is your dog on heat?’ asked the fat bitch owner as I manhandled the horny hound off of mine.
‘No,’ says I, ‘my dog’s a boy and yours is a họmo.’
Off she fucks and I try to calm poor Stanley down. A borderline bumming! Just because we both sport awesome moustaches (he’s a Schnauzer).
A minute later, họmodog is back for Stan’s arse. This time I grab hold of him and force him down.
Fatso comes waddling round the corner, wailing at me holding canine John Inman down.
‘Hurry up, for fuck’s sake!’ I bellow at her. ‘People like you shouldn’t be allowed to own dogs if you can’t control them.’
She led her woofter woofer off in tears, the daft fat bitch.
15
The dog was probably bored with ramming the fat cow up the arse and fancied a bit of variety.
12
We must work on Thomas’s social skills. A kick in the cunt for the dopy cunt would be acceptable in this case.
IF it’s presentable perhaps a stay in the love dungeon might be an option.
5
She wouldn’t have fitted in the dumb waiter, CM.
5
Not even without arms and legs?
4
Did you say that’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into?
Stanley Cunt Engine.
Got a nice ring to it somehow
4
Thomas@
Im ever in Royal Wootton Bassett and i see you skipping down the road with your dog ill try and bum it too.
😁
5
I really do wish that people would keep their dogs on leads.
My older dog is a bit of a temperamental twat and is only ever allowed off the lead when there’s no other dogs or people in sight and has his rubber balls to chase.
The amount of young women types I see walking their mutt or mutts, without a lead and often near traffic and other dog walkers etc, is unbelievable.
15
You are absolutely right there Herman … and I agree entirely with Ron.
I have never entertained the idea of dog owning. With the notable exception of working dogs or the ‘little old ladies’ comfort lapdog’, maybe, I have never seen the point of domestic dogs! It might offend a few on here, but they are a waste of fucking space – and I wouldn’t mind betting that a huge percentage of owners are part of the ‘cost-of-living moaners’.
I always smile when I hear – “I’m just taking the dog for a walk”. Fuck off – what they mean is “I’m just taking the dog out to shit on somebody else’s property” .
I guess we’ll never see domestic dogs prohibited, but we could enforce a rule like – when outside of your own property, dogs MUST be on a lead!!!!! (Wouldn’t stop them shitting on other’s property though.)
12
I recently had an encounter with one of these cunts and their unruly mutt.
Walking my dog through some local woodland, as I rounded a corner, I heard up ahead ‘you’d better turn around mate’.
A few yards in front is some cunt, old enough to know better, with some scruffy hound straining on its leash.
Oh yeah. Why? I asked.
‘Cos he don’t like other dogs’ he replied.
‘Well, I ain’t turning round, so two of us are fucked then. And I promise you it won’t be me and my dog’.
‘But he’ll go for him’ he countered.
‘Not with my boot in his fucking ribs, he won’t. If he’s that uncontrollable, take him home and fucking keep him there!’.
He must have sensed I was about to kick off, muttered something, and duly fucked off.
What a complete and utter cunt!
12
Morning all, morning N/A, and thanks for your kind thoughts.
The wife was well shaken up by this, and she’s admitted that she’s still getting headaches. I’ve asked her to go back to the doc’s but she won’t go. I can only hope that she’ll get back to normal in due course; meantime I don’t know what else to do but try to keep my concerns to myself, and not go on about it.
12
How many times do you hear people who have banged their head and don’t have it seem to and find out its much serious. I’m not trying to frighten you Ron, but I would force her, or take her yourself. She might thank you in the long run.
8
I agree with Sammy, better safe than sorry, Ron.
Use reverse phycology, say it’s to put your mind at rest as the worry is getting to you.
Hope it’s a tempest in a teapot, though.
7
Thanks for your kind thoughts guys.
I am reassured to some extent by the fact that the A and E docs did give the wife a proper going over on the day and thought she was basically ok. They did say that she could well experience dizziness and headaches for up to two weeks as ‘normal’.
We’re at that two week deadline now, so I’ll be monitoring things closely believe me.
10
All the best to your wife sir.
3
The small dog owners tend to be women and don’t think they should have them on a lead. These shih tzu twats and chihuahuas are annoying and come up to dogs on leads and cause no end of trouble. Keep them on leads in open spaces ladies and off lead when licking out your open spaces.
9
I have a chu, Sammy.
He’s the most fearful dog I’ve ever had. He’s terrified of cats ( although not the one he lives with), other dogs, a plastic bag blowing down the street.
He cowers behind my legs if someone stops to chat. I’ve had him nearly 6 years, he’s only just started to play.
God knows what he went through, poor little sod.
3
A dog – acting the cunt ; – it’s ALWAYS rooted in a stupid human previously being a bad/lazy/stupid/inadequate cunt leading up to that point.
From lack of manners to no awareness of societal boundaries….I’ve dealt with the fallout of many different variations and behaviours, .. and whenever there’s trouble along the rehabilitation, it’s always the cunt previous owner from whom the dog (or goat or cat or pig or equine) was removed that I curse … not the creature in question who – with a right owner in the first place – might/would be a completely different animal.
Some come around completely / some bear the ptsd for life. With patience(,a LOT of it) and time(a lot of that too) – currently 7 months in with a no manners labrador – a runner & not come back-er) that I have 95% of the way cured bar what I know is flashback memory of an owner giving him a hiding which still can kick in / theres another few months to go), most can be brought around. Fear of people, however, stays with some of them for the rest of their lives. All species are in that category. Not of me & the wife, of course, but of all other strangers/people.
God damn it, I fucking hate cunts I’ve never met every day of my life … letalone cunts that I have.
But yeah. Always a human is the root problem. Don’t cunt the dog, folks.
10
p.s. when I say ‘lack of manners’, further up, ..that doesn’t refer to thinking dogs need to be subservient idiots that can do ‘tricks’ on a noticewhore owners every whim … it means for example(as per nom and some subsequent posts)not stopping immediately when called-on, .. which is necessary for the dogs OWN safety sometimes, never mind in public. In fields too, or even their own premises.
I currently have eight canines. 2 dozen critters all told. All ex-neglect/abuse. A life replaced by one where now their collective is the priority. From first light to the early hours again, 365 days oer year. In THIS house/yard however, all of them are treated(effort AND spend!) better than plenty of cunts treat their kids! I could have had a life SO much easier by only ever by buying a few pups over the decades & leaving the unfortunates to their fates, from the roadside ones to the ones charities know they couldn’t ever give to a standard ‘oh let’s get a dog’ cunts for whom the novelty wears out in short order thereafter …but SOMEone has to try and balance the scales on his cunt species and the harm ‘we’ do.
I really do despise the human race, if I hadn’t made that clear before. A few individuals are ‘alright’, I suppose. But not very many in my book.
And the despisal is topped-up daily when I think of the multifarious cunts that harmed all these lovely creatures, none of the (people)cunts ever being charged or fined or TOLD they’re a cunt, even.
Your lady was ultimately a victim of that ‘owner’, Ron, .. not the hound in question.
9
Indeed.
After a spot of hill walking the other week I was pounced upon in a field by an uncontrolled dog which jumped up at my muscular torso..
I certainly didn’t blame the dog but the owner was informed to “Fuck Off Cunt”.
He was not delighted.
Train your dog and control it,it’s not difficult but does require some patience,something that seems beyond many owners.
Fuck em.
12
Thing to do if you own a dog, swap it for a cat.
6
But surely owning a cat more often than not, turns a gentleman fruity Arfur.
10
Well Herman, I think the wife will back me up when I say it hasn’t had that effect on me so far in the fifty years for which we’ve kept cats. To some men keeping a dog is a macho thing. Cats have a much more feminine character. Try telling one of them what to do.
7
I agree with you arfurbrain, cats are more their own boss and not at your beck an call like dogs. Cats only need you to feed them, but also find their own and can live freely in the wild. Dogs need care and can’t fend for themselves. It means the stronger human prefers cats as pets.
5
A cat to me is lazy pet owners pet.
I wrote a nom up about this phenomenon a while ago.
Obviously not all cat owners etc but the amount of fat lazy fish wives or other assorted half wits who claim to “own” these verminous creatures, are ultimately as irresponsible if not more so, than most dog owners.
What’s a bag of dog shit here and there when you can have a cat (which should be kept indoors) is out killing swathes of British wildlife.
7
Cats are magnificent creatures.
Compared to humans they do next to no damage to wildlife or the environment.
Human beings are by far the most destructive animals ever to walk the face of the Earth. Humans torture and kill more animals on a hourly basis than a cat could dream of doing in a lifetime.
Do cats factory farm other animals on an industrial scale? No. That would be humans who, unlike other animals, are supposed to have a moral conscience.
And cats, to the best of my knowledge, have never forced dogs to smoke 30 cigarettes a day for months on end.
10
Calling human beings bigger cunts than cats pretty much goes without saying does it not?
Domestic cats which are allowed to roam outdoors, killing British wildlife, are a result of humans.
Cats may well be vermin and completely unnecessary but their careless lazy owners and humans in general are much worse.
May a plague of toxoplasmosis rain down on all careless cat “owners”
7
I have both.
2
You ought to meet Dexter, he’s a Bengal with murderous tendencies.
1
Hallo meine kleinen Dackels !!!
Whilst out marching one day a German shepherd attempted to sniff my crotch. As if that wasn`t rude enough then his Ficken dog tried to do the same !
I had them both shot, naturally.
🧱🧱🧱 ▨▨▨—⌊=_卐¯¯ᛋᛋ /̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ⁍ ⁍ ⁍
14
I’d also like to add to this cunting, the lazy, gormless fucktards who bag up their dogs shit and then hang the bag from bushes.
There it remains, tied up and virtually devoid of the oxygen it needs to decompose.
Stupid fuckers.
10
Agreed Field Marshal. This is an almost incomprehensible act imo.
8
Or hang it on the rear wiper of their car, a pleasant thing to look at while stuck in traffic on a hot day.
5
This has long been a subject of my ire, Field Marshall, along with fly tipping.
On my estate, it’s become a habit that, if it won’t fit in the household waste bin, dump it on the verge.
As to those who hang doo bags on fences, shrubs and trees, they are second to the cunts who don’t pick their dogs shit up at all.
I saw a young woman recently, she was jogging with her dog attached to a leash around her waist running behind her. The poor hound was desperate to stop and squat, and was leaving a trail of turds behind it, she slowed, glanced back and then kept going.
Pitiful excuse for a human.
8
Unless I’m very wrong, I was under the impression that that all dogs had to be on a lead when walking in public places by law.
Private land is, of course, another matter, especially specifically secure exercise fields for dogs.
The only permissable exception to this should be trained police dogs chasing down fleeing scum, a sight I enjoy immensely.
10
P. S.
A proper lead, not one of those stupid retractable bits of clothesline, either.
7
I agree on both counts, JP, I’ve seen those stupid retractable leads get wrapped round people’s legs and cause no end of trouble.
8
Best wishes to Mrs Knee. I can see this type of incident increasing in the short term, Ron…
More and more Brits will be getting dogs as it is well known that recent arrivals are far from keen on them. Of course, Sir Two Kweers will then have to bring in more legislation, this time ensuring dogs are not allowed out in public. It will thereafter be a hate crime to take Fido for walkies. Game, set and match to Lord Alley and his bum chums.
9
I’ve read that young ladies in Italy are getting pet pigs and walking them when out and about.
I understand that as a deterrent from the unwanted attention of a certain demographic, it has become so effective that other young women in France are following suit.
12
A simply marvellous idea.
Bravo to the ladies of France and Italy.
Reminded me of the tale of some Bangladeshi/Parking Stanley Snackbar type in this country who refused to have a guide dog provided for him by the Yoookay government but was awarded a guide pony upon request instead.
Apparently the smelly inbred fucker was “allergic” to dogs.
Oh please do fuck off – we all know peacefuls are taught to be afraid of canines from birth thanks to the schizophrenic ramblings of their unholy pamphlet.
7
https://news.sky.com/story/blind-man-scared-of-dogs-to-get-uks-first-guide-horse-11239836
Here is the link
“Mohammed” who is scared of dogs no less.
7
Well that’s decided it for me. If I go blind I will demand a guide pig.
8
Intelligent animals, arfur, and highly trainable, so I’m led to believe.
I’d go for it, for myself too.
The only drawback I can see, is that you’d need a hell of a big doo bag for walkies.
3
Dog owners of today who don’t know how to look after their dogs need a good telling off from someone similar to the once famous Barbara Woodhouse who didn’t stand for any messing around. She was strict but fair.
5
Thanks TTC, much appreciated.
4
Oops sorry Sammy.
Reply meant for TTC above.
1
Wasn’t she once manager of Leeds Sammy?
1
Leeds / Leads? Oh well!
1
From what I see in the photo heading, owners are only making things worse by shooting their load in the dogs face.
7
It’s interesting that when neighbours and friends have been kindly asking after the wife’s condition, several have said that the fault in this situation lies always 100% with the owner not the dog.
Now I can see where they’re coming from, but I blame both the owner AND the dog.
The owner for not being in control of her cunt dog obviously, but I won’t excuse the fucking hound.
People can say ‘oh but it’s only a dog’. Well on the day there were plenty of other dogs there off the lead, and tho imo they shouldn’t have been, they were at least indulging in time-honoured dog activities such as chasing balls, pissing on plants and sniffing each others’ arses. This particular mutt however took it upon itself to hurl itself at me, with the consequences as described.
There’s obviously something in the hound’s makeup to make it do this, and it’s shown itself to be possibly very dangerous. Hardly a week goes by without somebody being mauled or killed by a dog. Blame the owner for lack of proper judgement and control, but there’s also something in the makeup of some dogs.
9
Hi Ron,
Hope the Misses is still on the mend.
Then they end up shooting the dog. At least give the owner a good telling off.
Set aside, I’ll only be satisfied when serious criminals get put down.
6
Nope.
Out of control breeding and bad mix breeding all still trace back to people, Ron.
People. The ‘prime’ species.
Prime cunts.
I’m not going to end up fighting on isac over it, but I’m 20 years at it at this stage with a lot of things seen along the way and no dmall amount of heartbreak/hard bloody work with some of it, .. and never had a ‘bad’ animal among the dozens that have been and gone along the way.
Troubled? for sure. Bad? .. no.
12
There is something in the dogs makeup that makes it do this. It’s an apex predator with millions of years of evolution telling it to kill and eat other animals. The owners job is to train that out of it. Owner, oven.
4
Spot on Ron.
The owner is a cunt and so is the animal. The country is overrun with dogs and their fucking owners are in the same league as cyclists.
Makes me fume when I hear an owner shouting and bawling at the thing off a lead causing havoc and paying no notice at all the calls and shouting.
If the mutt attacks humans it should be muzzled and only allowed out on a leash, if it does it again it’s a trip to the vets. One way.
Hope the good lady is doing ok.
2
As CEO and director of Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) LImited, I feel I owe you, and your lady wife an unreserved apology for the fate that befell you. In fact you might be relieved to know it was not a dog that bit her, it was, in fact, Alistair Campbell in a skin – he was taking part in our new all-nude (except for the hound of course) production of Conan Doyle’s immortal story of gore The Hound Of the Baskervilles. Had you been able to stay you would have seen a naked Jess Phillips running through the mist to try (unsuccessfully) to escape the jaws of the hound, before he committed acts of unspeakable depravity on old Jessie before ripping her throat out. The perpetrator of course was Sir Kweer, but you will be relieved to know you do not see him au natrele. As he falls into Grimpen mire you only see a head shot and his false teeth as the filthy mud engulfs him. The teeth are the last thing to go down. The filthy, slimy, dirty mud is played of course, by Angela Rayner with no artificial aids whatsoever. In between there are plenty of nude women who play various servants, and the cook is played by Emily Thornberry – a very dangerous role, as her dumplings kept falling into the stew. Many retakes during the banquet scenes. Given the inconvenience to yourself and Mrs. Knee, the company would like to offer you a free copy of the film – the deluxe 3D blue ray version.
6
It weren’t Willie Stroker’s dog, was it Ron?
8
More than once have I offered to punt some cunt’s dog into a low orbit if they don’t get an oof the lead Fido under control.around my dog.
Up to and including offering some uppity south African bitch her own involuntary dirty protest if her pooch didn’t back off while I was trying to pick up my hound’s freshly parked breakfast.
Apparently ‘Do you want to be wearing this’ while pointing at a steaming bag of hound fudge can be seen as rather aggressive.
8
Is that Rayner in the header pick after canvassing for paki votes?
7
Dirty Ange?
Canvassing for Paki knob, more like.
The school skank/slag/bike got lucky.
5
Sorry to hear about your Mrs, Ron.
Hope she’s doing well.
4
I have found the best thing to say, with all the calmness you can muster in these situations, is, “Get you dog under control”, then quietly watch them erupt…
Take a breath and repeat the same words until that go away, which they will.
3
they, not ‘that’…
Sorry!
0
Dogs are truly mans best friend.
They round up sheep, sniff out drugs, help blind cunts,
And all sorts of useful things.
Mine is always on a harness and lead-ALWAYS.
Because I don’t like getting sued.
She chases Beeg iShoo sellers for my amusement,
Is affectionate,
Good company,
And is a around good egg.
Ron@
Hope your wife makes a speedy recovery,
I blame you.
Clearly you provoked the dog probably wearing gravy browning as fake tan again.
😁
5
Ps
That dog in the header pic reminds me of one of our family dogs.
We always had 2 german shepherds growing up,
The last one was a right specimen!
He hated the world and everything on it bar family.
Hed try to drag teenagers over the garden wall to fuck them up.
😁
His attitude was to be admired,
He hated ethnics, hoodies and layabouts,
they learnt to fear him and cross over the road when out and about.
They sometimes say a dogs bark is worse than his bite.
Theyre wrong.
His bite was definitely worse.
I loved him very much.
7
Hey Mis, you and the hound should have had your own 1970’s set US police show.
Getting reprimanded in the lieutenants office for the dog biting black suspects and illegal immigrants and you for running a protection racket extorting shopkeepers in Korea Town.
4
LL
Ive long thought I should have my own tv show, and honestly im shocked that tv production companies arent knocking at the door.
A down at heels PI would be good.
Not some fruity type like Msgnum, swanning about in puffy shirts and living with a ” older man”
But a gritty UK version where i drive around in the van with my dog,
The love interest could be Charlie Dogmuck from that gardening thing,?
And my catchphrase could be
” it was probably a sooty did it”
4
Dogs are merely a reflection of their owners.
I propose something like a shotgun certificate type licencing but rather than run by incompetent, woke police, ran by ISACs common sense committee.
4
All white men should have a dog.
And a gun licence.
And exemption from criminal prosecution as a result.
Within 24hrs we wouldn’t have a migrant problem.
And those fox hunters should only be allowed to hunt illegal immigrants.
9
@Cunt of the Isles
Not always the case.
Dogs can have their own individual personalities and traits.
My uncle always had Lurchers when I was growing up.
Lovely friendly creatures who are as comfortable on the sofa snoozing with you as they are adept hunters.
He had one Lurcher in particular who was just completely fucking insane.
From the day he brought it home.
Whenever there was the merest hint of food or anything similar in the air, he would attempt rip your arm off.
My uncle was a generally good dog owner who had had a few lovely friendly hounds but that poor blighter had to be euthanased after only a couple of years of its life because it was basically a liability.
4
Indeed Herman,
A relative had a corgi. Nasty biting machine. Hated kids and would purposely lie in ambush for hem. Did it once too often and was ended by the local farmer.
Same relative had Boxers, never a minutes trouble. Always came to heel and did as told. Lovely animals.
2
My dog is a Romanian rescue dog – looks like Benji the film dog. A very good dog indeed – not at all aggressive unless some other dog shows aggression – he’ll then have a go at the testicles of a larger dog – “go for the plums, good boy”.
Surprisingly well behaved when out walking on a lead. I wouldn’t let him off the lead – too easily distracted and too many fuckwitts piloting vehicles badly along the nearby road.
5
Didn’t have Hulk Hogan in the Dead Pool.
I hope that he has found his long-lost brother in heaven, Terry Nutkins.
3
Poor Hulk Hogan.
Had a hard life.
He looked like a badly infected testicle,
And he started to lose his lovely canary yellow hair age 12.😕
I like to think of him at his finest….
Shagging his best mates wife and filming it.
May cherubs carry him to heavens gates
3
Sorry to hear SB, similar entitled cunts where I live letting their dogs off the lead in areas where it specifically states that dogs must be on a lead. May I recommend an Irish Blackthorn walking stick with a specially sharpened tip – preferably made of steel makes an excellent accessory to carry for those times you encounter uncontrollable dogs.
2
I have a walking stick with a specially adapted lead and ball bearing handle.
It’s stunning, racing red.
1
Can I just take a mo to say thanks to everyone who’s expressed kindness and best wishes towards the wife. She sends her regards.
It’s appreciated guys. Much appreciated.
5
Sorry to hear about your good lady Ron. I hope she is better soon. If you see the cunt owner rip her a new one. I have been waiting since 8.00am this morning for my cunt of a doctor to ring me regarding medication. Guess what? No fucking call. Fucking bitch. That’s it until Monday. Fuck the NHS.
2
Both of my daughters have hunting docs. They hunt, moose, deer, fox, badger, rabbit and duck.
The breed notes clearly state, ‘this is not a pet’. Neither dog has been in the house.
Best thing is when either of the hounds ‘come to town’. They go fucking mental when they see M’Bongo or a sandy man.
7