Are the police going too far, or are they simply out of control and making it up as they go along?
Honest to Dog you really can’t make this shit up. Poor lass, took her daughters iPads off them, so they could do their homework without distraction. Fair enough.
Vanessa went to visit her mum, an elderly woman.
Next thing, police are at mums door, arresting Vanessa for theft and treating the old mum like she’s a modern day Fagin!
Vanessa is then held in custody for several hours, until the officer who had custody of the shared braincell that day decided there was no case to answer!
Now, reading between the lines, it looks like kids phoned Dad to moan about Mum confiscating their iPads, and Dad, being a total cunt, reported them as stolen. This has not been checked by BBC Verify, BTW.
So far, Surrey Police have failed to either
Apologise to Vanessa, or
Arrest the cunt for making a false report and wasting police time.
Shabby wedding, Surrey Police, very shabby.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
I’m surprised they can find the time for this in between bending the knee to BLM, standing by as JSO block the roads and painting their Noddy cars in rainbow colours.
15
Surrey police.. you can change that name to any county police force..
Not fit for purpose..
Most likely spent five hours examining her social media posts trying to cover their useless arses.
13
Just call them all the Keystone Kops and be done with.
3
Her next step should be to break them in half, the confiscation clwarly not having taught the teenage cunts a sufficient lesson. Probably get nicked for vandalism though.
The dad sounds like a real prince. That poor woman, having a try at least to instill some manners in a world of parental-responsibility-shirkers.
11
No wonder in more polite circles they are called woodentops.
11
“One of the conditions of bail was she must not speak to her daughters”..
Possibly a blessing?
What a panto of shenanigans.Our robotic police farce is a sick joke in instances like this.
And the father in this mess is yet another cunt atop a mountain of cunts.
Special Patrol Group Oven.
11
Too busy wanking at the thought of the bacon butties and overtime for harassing old ladies to run any checks. Fucking typical fatso cunt operation. This shit is going on all over the UK while towel head and East European gangs are busy raping and pillaging. Fuck off, constable.
Good afternoon, everyone.
14
PS I see Too Kweer has had his arse handed to him by yesterday’s voters. Never mind, he can always get Lord Alli to suck his cock instead, allegedly.
13
Well done Surrey Police!
You should be up for a bravery award.
About time you got off your fat arses reading Hello! Magazine and painting each others nails.
That mum will think twice about disciplining her kids next time.
Shame about the two rapes and armed robbery that took place that day but you can’t be everywhere at once.
You fuckin disgraces.
15
Thanks Mis, for that extra news.
Rape, ppfft!
Robbery, “yawn”
Summed up nicely.
1
Cunstables the lot of them. Take the knee, and fuck off in your rainbow coloured panda car. Officer
6
Surrey police apprehending a late library book offender..
https://x.com/TRIGGERHAPPYV1/status/1797116424004972585?s=19
Absolutely laughable..
7
Useless cunts!
All that needs to be perfection is the Curb Your Enthusiasm jingle dubbed in…
5
Funny enough that my mobile phone ringtone.
4
When I was a lad, the 6 foot 2 ex para in the police would have shouted at him.
He would have filled his pants and gone with him.
Now 5 foot overweight lesbos trying to apprehend a tough nut…. fucking cunts.
7
Nice.
Team America, Kim Jong il, here.
“Why is everyone so fucking stupid?”
Hope your thumb’s on the mend. If it’s any consolation, I pulped a middle finger to halfway down the nail on a rotary saw 5 years ago … and – I do not know how – but somehow it fucking re-grew. Bit numb, but still, .. looks right.
Middle finger can be an important one!
5
If you want to know the time ask a policeman…. they’d be 💩 at that no doubt, now on a par with our porous border farce …as much use as a wet 🧽
6
The dad should be charged with wasting police time
Surrey police should be charged with wasting police time.
Kids should be locked up and educated the old fashioned way.
6
Sooner the revolution comes and the filth and judiciary go to the wall the better.
Fucking cunts.
Fucking hot, need rain.
8
There wouldn’t be any need to police the snooker, due to it being minus the wolligogs. They’ll be causing problems elsewhere in this lovely weather, but not in the countryside. They’re more likely to wait until dusk and cause problems with a touch of shoplifting in the supermarkets, before going on to some late night burglary to Keep the rozzers on their toes.
3
All police are fascist cunts. I happen to be a fascist also, but believe my rights are being stepped on by the “new” left wing gestappo. Up the Reform
10
I’ll just leave this here…
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/FPsbraVgqM0
7
That’s Uncle Ben!
The rice fella.
Didn’t know he was a copper now.
What’s he looking for?
Drugs?
He should buy them himself like everyone else has too.
7
What in the name of Hell did I just watch?
He can barely speak English, but he’s a police?
We really, really are scrapping the barrel here.
Join the Police Force, ability to speak English coherently NOT a requirement.
Fuck me!
Good one, Unkle.
8
13 y.o. boat migrant with the A.I.D.S, on his make-a-wish outing?
Bless.
9
Don’t think I’ve ever been Surrey?
Don’t particularly want to either.
Sounds shite.
Full of cunts in red jeans.
7
You’d have made a good 1970’s copper I reckon, MNC.
A big, beardy sergeant, walking the beat, giving nıg-nogs a clip round their weird little chimpy ears, using colourful old-fashioned all-rounders like “sambo” and you and the lads giving one of the gollıes a fucking good kicking in the back of a Mk1 Transit for ‘looking at you wrong’.
7
Evening Thomas.
I was asked to apply.
When we had careers advice.
Coppers said
” join the force lad.
Big lad like you would do OK”.
But it was just after the miners strike.
My family would never have forgiven me (cousin a miner).
The idiot careers bloke said
Either copper, army or factory fodder.
The cheeky cunt.
He couldn’t see I was tailor made for Hollywood.
Anyway I’m a removal man like my dad now.
Hollyweird loss.
6
An uncle of mine was in the Metropolitan Police.
Family history has it that he used to get loads of skirt while on shift.
I think it was a career just made for you, MNC.
3
Careers advice given to school leavers was always comically bad Mis. Advice they gave me in the late sixties was so wrong that when I followed it my first couple of years at work were a fucking shambles. Naively I was surprised when our kids left school in the late nineties and were fed shit advice as well. On their parents advice they ignored it.
1
Didn’t the UK have elections some time ago for Police Czars?
If they still have them they don’t seem to be doing their jobs too well.
I wonder how much they earn and who they answer to.
10
Lots, no fucker.
2
Due to the the Bottom Inspectors being in charge of the stern end, I think police should take charge of the front end and force the ladies to grow hair again for we older lads. I’ve never been attached to the bald snatch looking like a one in brackets.
8
Coppers when I was a youth would fill you in if you were being mouthy ( guilty)
And they’d chase you.
Couldn’t catch you like,
But it’s the thought that counts.
I’ve learnt now never to argue with them,
Be polite,
And try and win them over.
Disarm them with my irrepressible Northern charm😁
Never met a black one though?
Probably easy to bribe?
Piece of fruit probably do it.
10
Ps
Never see chinky ones do you?
Constable jacky chan.
Thought they were headtheball for this diversity shite nowadays?
Shame on them.
No split link officers.
” wa you wan? You not park here. You. go now or you be solly”.
7
Much like putting a sheet over a budgie’s cage, you simply have to put an empty KFC bucket on their head and they’ll not know which way to turn.
A moon cricket version of handing a dullard a piece of paper with ‘please turn over’ written on both sides.
9
😅Hehehe
3
Here’s a fine track to start off your Friday evening, MNC:
https://youtu.be/LA3ID178XLE?feature=shared
2
I’m actually weeping with laughter.
No emojies required.
Thank you, Thomas.
3
Totally agree Sammy. I think this weird predilection for the bald snatch came in with American porn.
2
I’m enjoying these council results analysis.
Labour are in denial.
“we need to go further and faster” Kier Storm fuhrer.
No.
You need to fuckin listen pal.
We all hate you and what you’re doing.
Attacking the elderly
Attacking the farmers
We want these dinghy scum deported is what we want
We want fossil fuels
We want to leave the ECHR
We want merit not diversity bullshit.
And we want your head on a pike.
10
Fucking right.
MNC FOR PRIME MINISTER!
🏴
4
I don’t trust Nigel Farage as far as I could throw 1990 John Candy.
3
Bagsy being the axeman Mis.
3
MMC has already promised me Chief Pathologist, CM.
As long as I play ball, of course.
The autopsy report has already been written ready for next Autumn:
“As Chief Pathologist, I certify that Mr. Starmer died of accidental death.
My thorough medical examination concludes that Mr. Starmer died of accidental misadventure through being strangled, poisoned, stabbed and bummed simulateneously.
No foul play is suspected.”
Professor Cunt Engine, September 17th 2026.
4
Indeed Professor Cunt Engine.
Give him double dose Rasputin.
3
CuntyMort@
Its a very senior position that comes with a lot of responsibility.
I don’t know if your familiar with axes and their maintenance?
But no matter, jobs yours.
Suggest you practice your swing first with a few of the cabinet.
David Lammy has a thick blubbery neck.
You’ll need the axe sharp as can be and need to put your weight into the downward swing.
Doesn’t matter if you miss at first, say hack his ear off or just skim his skull.
Your learning on the job after all.
But after you’ve done a few I suspect you’ll be a natural!
Welcome aboard 👍
3
Yes, thank you.
Exactly and 100% correct.
4
Some will hide behind blether, or deny.
They will need a subtle approach.
May I put my name forward for New State Poisoner.
Here’s your ReadyBrek, Rachel…..
3
Yes JP you’ll be very busy working on a new truth serum starting with caustic soda eyedrops.
I of course will be Grand Inquisitor.
I’m a mild mannered, easy going type who just wants his fellow man to tremble and soil themselves at the mention of my name.
I’ll be honest, the first few months will be brutal.
There’s no getting away from it.
The body count would make pol Pot spew up his rice.
But once those who were found guilty (all of them) are muckspread over the British countryside then we can relax and start hunting sympathisers.
I’m expecting a sudden drop in the population.
3
I hope you are aiming higher than the 4000 per year they are predicting for assisted dying.
The fucking amateurs.
3
Oi!! Jeezum NO!!! Mis gave me the axemans job and you are on my turf!!!. You will have to cross my palm with Silver first. Let’s see I need a £2 coin with the plane flying over the front line and a few olympic events 50p pieces. Once we come to a successful negotiation fill your boots.
Lammy is non negotiable though.
PS did you like my Harry Enfield impression?
1
Greater Manchester Police are as fucking useless.
They got put in special measures for not recording 80, 000 crimes, ( yes, you read that right, 80 fucking thousand ) including one where pikeys smashed their way into my Defender and made off with a load of gear ( cunts, Dirlewanger the fucking lot of them )
Anyway, load up the fucking juke box.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkS7UH9HQnk
3
Those that can “do”.
Those that can’t do fuck all ” join the fucking police”..!
5
Or Teach…
Or Manage…
4
Without them. Who would deal with the Riff Raff ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErXbMB9R5-0
2
They can plead their innocence from the Gallowspole
https://youtu.be/5i3PUEYi4KU?si=a7-3AaPWeAY4vIGE
1
Ps
That’s me helping Bridget Phillipson into the embrace of God’s justice at the end of the video 😁
1
Police are sticking their snout into traditional celebrations too
https://youtu.be/cYLRRrfPJ1s?si=1LJ014ghhkud7OnQ
0
Let’s hope in 4 years time Reform can replicate today’s council elections…!
There may be hope for GB yet…!!!
1
I confiscated my son’s ipad for three months in 2014. Didn’t give it back until he was crying and sweating
0