OK it’s a safe way to cross the road, but please have a look before mindlessly hitting the button. Your not playing candy crush..
Nothing worse than driving along and coming to a red light and realising there are more people at a piers morgan surprise party.
Sitting at a red light while the culprit is two hundred yards down the road is a huge piss boiler.
Try to have some awareness of your surroundings, lift your head from your phone screen for 10 seconds and look around..and you will have eternal gratitude from motorists..
Just a YouTube clip of more than likely ethnics running each other over.
So a win win..
Nominated by Barry zuckercunt.
First smile of the day, the arrogant cunt on yhe bike getting nailed.
Good morning.
12
First one up, the guy in his night shirt getting skittled is the one I like best Harry.
6
The somersaulting woman made me chuckle.
4
I much prefer zebra crossings, where you have the option of whether or not to stop, depending upon the ethnicity of the pedestrian/s.
Little old white lady, stop gently with a respectful smile.
Family of disgusting pakıs on their way to the mọsque, speed up slightly and sail over sneering at them, hopefully getting close to clipping one who rashly assumed you were going to stop and stepped out prematurely.
22
Morning Cunt Engine.
This crossing is in Bradford and from some of the comments its like the wild west when it comes driving.
YouTube
9
Morning LL/all.
Ho ho, yes…a splendid video!
Marred only slightly by the fact that there were no pyjama-wearer deaths or at least life-changing injuries.
Bradford truly must be the shittiest place in the entire western hemisphere.
12
Pressing the button is a necessity in London.
The amount of Robertson’s and parking Stanleys who have never even heard of the highway code and borrowed their licence from their brother-cousin means that a red light to them is a guideline, not a rule.
Crossing the road with the green man means that you will at least be in the right when inevitably run over by a Prius minicab with sixteen occupants. All of who will be family members of the person driving and all of whom will be suing you for whiplash.
12
I read with some interest that many towns and cities have these foreign types in droves.
I rather expect they don’t know anything about the Highway Code nor looking out for pedestrian crossings.
Indeed,isn’t there a place where the council had to put up signs to ask the foreign not to shit in the streets?
In any of those places crossing the road is like being a Christian missionary in Kabul..a truly thrilling adventure.
What a set of Cunts.
Tufty Club Oven.
Good morning.
13
Tufty would have been eaten by a dusky visitor if he was still around
6
Robertsons. 😃
0
Mrs Cumber does not approve of my being a Cunter, but she will absolutely love this nom! She does berate all the ‘twits’ (her word!) who do this…
9
My woman “caught” me on this site, load of moaning.
Told her to shut up or I’d nominate her.
22
Can’t quite see this lads. Why are your women bothered? Are they socialists or do they detect misogyny? A few women post on here, pity there aren’t more.
9
No, she is Far Right and would rather the site was called: ist-eine-Fotze.com
7
My wumman ‘found out’ the day I mentioned on here that her 3 nephew/niece types were a trio of selfish useless little cunts, and I turned the phone in her direction to let her see I had made the (previously oft-mentioned fact) official.
10
My missus couldn’t give a donkey’s ass.
The occasional nom might capture her interest, but she’s never been tempted to post.
7
Just looked up fotze Hugh. Must say we didn’t have that one listed in our vokabeln when I was doing German at school.
1
Especially when dinghy rider delivery cyclists push straight through red lights.Are they immune to laws of the road?Full steamroller treatment.Wankers.
10
Simply both pedestrians and motorists are in the wrong here, with only the obvious ones in armoured vehicles surviving here. That means people walking across have to be extra vigilant. Here endeth the lesson.
7
It must be an ethnic thing depending on skin tone now you see me now you don’t. Were the drivers fucking blind?
7
Er, no. They’re ethnics Cunty.
10
I am appalled there were no trips to Alan’s snack bar arranged.
4
Drat. You got in just before me. Well done CuntyMort.
4
I aim to please Sammy.
3
You could have a fully loaded pistol and begin firing it into the air whilst crossing. Another way depending on your colour. Stand on the opposite colour to your skin if you want to survive when seeing a vehicle approaching. Its the case of now you see me, now you don’t.
6
These cunts push my buttons 😡
Other day had some daft cunt walking slowly over the crossing with a stick with a tennis ball on.
I refused to. Indulge him the attention seeking twat and revved my. Engine menacingly.
Im normally all for novelties from the joke shop,
Indeed i regularly spend £100 myself on glasses with. Eyes on springs, fake moustaches and Billybob teeth.
But theres a time and a place and crossing the road is a serious business.
12
Did the stick also have two red bands on, MNC?
Blind and deaf people really ought to stay in a padded room.
Fucking Helen Kellers.
9
Morning Thomas 👍
Im not sure? I’d been drinking
11
Pps
Also had some berk at the same crossing walking his dog slowly in the road!
The Fuckin crank was wearing sunglasses and it was overcast,
Poseur type,
He saunrered about like he had all day.
Pisstaker.
Thing is this crossing is near the institute for the blind
And if hes fuckin about like that and one of them drives up they might run him and his gormless dog over.
13
Now if it was a midget they could take all day. In fact I would insist on seeing if I could toss him from one side to the other.
9
Blind people ought not to be so boringly predictable when it comes to their choice of guide dog.
Golden lab….boooring 😴
Get a Doberman or a Rottweiler or a Jack Russell.
13
Why are blind people restricted to dogs?
Why not a guide llama, or a guide sheep?
Maybe someone could programme one of those delivery robots to lead blind people around, although given their safety record on pedestrian crossing, that might not be the best choice.
10
Its a pity when feeling famished and you’re going out for a pizza and there isn’t a readymade one waiting for you, like you see on YNC.
5
Have you ever seen the look of pathetic-ness on 4 drunken arsehole students that purposely walked out on the road (in the wrong) in front of an approaching car in a kind of ‘power move’ .. – a “we’ll force that driver have to stop because of us” – ; as two of them dive back to the kerb they stepped off, one dives across the white line to the opposite side of the road, and the fourth freezes like a proverbial deer in headlights, as the unslowing driver passes between that cunt, and the one belly down on the road to his right?
It’s excellent. Something you remember forever, really.
“Where’s the link to the footage, Cuntemall”?
“What footage?”
😉
12
This crossing clip is ace…possibly the only funny thing that Dom Joly ever did:
https://youtu.be/r-v7w5CL6EU?feature=shared
8
Thanks for that Thomas. I’ve lots of Joly stuff on old discs. The running off during serious interviews are a laugh too.
3
The only thing for it, is dust off your old gettoblaster and walk across in safety at full blast !!
4
They never had Dave prowse teaching them the green cross code over in Bongoland.
That’s why they wander out into oncoming traffic.
No common sense.
Daydreaming about KFC and owning a necklace made from albinos teeth to ward off witchcraft,
They dont realise that a skip lorry getting bigger on the horizon is going to connect with them making a big liquorice smear on the carriageway.
14
The nom link video has ‘Sun Exclusive’ franked in the top right it.
I died just a little bit.
7
In the nom link. A bloke called mohamed is talking about the dangerous pedestrian crossing.
But hes wearing a bra on his head.
Have a look.
Another one who thinks everything is a big joke.
9
I shamefully admit doing the cycling one in the dark without lights and ending up lying across the bonnet of a car, whilst a kind gent did his best to fix my fucked up bike. Now I dismount and walk across the zebra slowly annoying all you motorists.
5
Morning Sammy👍
I dream of the day that the fates bring together the perfect scenario of a unsuspecting cyclist, a large puddle and a 40mph sign.
The tidal wave id create would wash him clean off the saddle😁
I dont know if lycra is uncomfortable when sodden in rainwater, and dont particularly care.
Id whistle for days afterwards
9
Morning Mis, I just wear my old piss-soddened clothes on the bike. Hoping the smell puts them off.
8
Hahaha 😂
Thst made me laugh Sammy👍
7
Happy to oblige, Mis.
3
One thing the park key road safety evangelist didn’t mention, was the ethnicity of the drivers.
I’d bet my house on them not being indigenous Yorkshire folk.
Anyway, I reckon his cctv is actually used to track the movements of white schoolgirls which he can then relay on to his cousins mini cab firm.
8
The spatial awareness of some of these drivers indicates someone else took their driving test as is common in certain ethnic groups. You could make a good living doing others driving tests. Very popular career in parts of west London.
8
Its one of the reasons why lots of Indian wives walk behind their misogynistic Pizza Hut husbands, when crossing.
7
Good Morning
The video link was interesting. I suspect, due to the area where it was taken, that at least half the drivers haven’t passed a driving test and driving on a relative’s ’ licence.
Bloody pedestrians seem to get more lackadaisical every day, stepping out into the road whilst looking at their mobile and without looking. It use to be a rarity but now seems to happen on a daily basis.
7
I don’t use pedestrian crossings, they are dangerous.
Assuming that cars will stop is a lottery, better to cross without one and pay fucking attention 👍
7
I’m surprised there aren’t bunches of flowers tied to each of the belisha beacons.
7
Forthcoming nom (formative stage, currently) : ‘Roadside memorials’ …
7
Cellotaphs.
7
That’s good, JP, but my muse in this case is a fucking marble monstrosity by the side of a busy main road so big you’d think whatever cunt died there (20+ years ago) was fucking buried there at hhe side of the road.
Caravan overturned, presumably, you get my drift ….
5
Can’t wait, good stuff!
1
ha ha .. Here died Barney McKnack. Tragically lost on his 21st birthday.
Terribly missed by his cousin-wife and their 8 children.
3
There should be a remake of the Pajama Game, with breakdancing in the air.
Just thought, my didn’t the Beatles cop it during their famous zebra walk. The jury would be split on that one.
4
That zebra crossing is a fucking nightmare to this day Sammy. The bloody tourists have photographs taken of themselves walking across it Beatles style and regularly step out into the traffic without even looking.
0
Why you silly twat, again.
4
Barry talked about the safer pelican-crossing with safety buttons, but who put up the accident prone zebra crossing. Confused ?
2
Honestly Sammy, I thought people might enjoy watching ethnics getting run over.
Couldn’t really be bothered with a proper link.
5
Exactly Barry, you certainly made it more popular.
Thanks.
3
The yellow lights on striped poles on either side were introduced by Leslie Hore-Belisha and when I was a lad they were referred to as “Belisha beacons” but I believe the zebra crossing was there earlier. Interesting point; He abolished the 20mph speed limit on the roads because it was unenforceable and brought in the 30mph limit. That was in the early 30s and now we are going back to a 20mph limit which surprise, surpise is again proving to be unenforceable in many areas. We obviously had brighter politicians in the 1930s Sammy.
6
Very good, sir. And the cats-eyes came about when a British man named Percy Shaw was driving in fog one night and his headlights picked up the reflection of a real cats eyes that was walking along the roadside.
Just lucky it was walking towards him, and not away really…. (cats arseholes ‘joke’ potential in there somewhere)
5
Thanks, arfurbrain
1
Yes, Cuntemail.
The cats arsehole was his second invention for the pencil sharpener.
3
The trick has always been to squash them sooties on a black line, rather than a white. Always looks a lot tidier that way.
5
We have one of those Pegasus Crossings near us.
For horseriders (snotty daddy’s paying cunts usually).
Just like the red and green man, but with a horse on it.
3
I loved that Pelican Crossing Public Information Film with Dad’s Army.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7txWaW5HaTw
1