American statesman Benjamin Franklin is credited with the statement that ‘in this world nothing can said to be certain, except death and taxes’. Ain’t that the truth.
This morning that latter excresence intruded into my life once more, in the form of a communication from HR Revenue & Customs which kindly informed me of my income tax coding for financial year 2025-26. As cunters will imagine, I’d been awaiting this document with a mounting sense of apathy for months.
This is routine crap from the tax man, the sort of bureaucracy we all have to put with in learning just how much of our money is going to be syphoned off this time to keep illegal immigrants and benefit loungers in the manner to which they’ve become accustomed. It’s inevitable, I shouldn’t get worked up.
I shouldn’t have got worked up, but I did, and what caused this to happen was the legend inscribed on the cheap and nasty brown envelope, which stated ‘your tax service-here to support’. Now the word ‘service’ is defined as follows; ‘the action of helping or doing work for someone’. That’s right people; the Revenue’s now a ‘service’ that’s here to help and support you as it takes your cash.
This all makes me feel so much better, knowing that the Revenue’s got my interests and welfare at heart. I’m sure it’ll make you feel a lot better too when you see YOUR cash taken and poured down the drain of net zero, foreign aid, and migrant hotels. And the REALLY great news is that only death can free you from it. Be happy; the taxman’s here and he’s on your side.
Nominated by : Ron Knee
I was investigated by the horrible cunts years ago, when I was self employed, for not earning enough money. They didn`t believe I was earning so little – but I was. It was 6 months of pointless bollocks (and some stress) as they desperately tried to find some evidence of my wrong-doing. It must have have cost them a good few quid to do but they got fuck all. In fact they ended up owing me a small amount in the end – which was rather pleasing.
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I have lived in dread of a tax investigation, I know too many people who have had their lives turned upside down by the bastards. So many self-employed live on the breadline and HMRC think they are making fortunes. Maybe the cashless society, which the government has been after for, at least, the last 30 years, will make them think otherwise.
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