Well Lawd lav ah dack, it’s fackin’ mental an’ no mistyke guv’nor. The Beeb’s lumbering old donkey of a soap has notched up forty years on the box; forty years of ‘we need ta tawk’ misery and woe.
And so how has Auntie chosen to ‘celebrate’ the anniversary? Why in time-honoured ‘BellEnders’ fashion of course, with yet more on-screen anguish, death and destruction being ladled out for the discerning viewer to appreciate.
There’s no more satisfying watch than a gritty, realistic, true-to-life drama. I expect that like me, you’ve all been glued to the screen. Definitely a case of ‘cancel all other engagements’ if I ever saw one, or yer bang aht uv orhdur mah san.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
I saw Ross kemp and the other cunt mark fowler the cunt who had aids in a chip shop in Highgate , pair of fucking midgets about 5 foot tall and apparently the other Michell brother has a charming habit of wanking while looking thru car windows in France watching people fucking. Dirty den likes a wank and Gillian tayford likes sucking cock high class bunch of cunts
9
When Gillian ‘Kaffy; Taylforth was caught giving a BJ on the Motorway, a DJ mate of mine dedicated a song to her the next Saturday night.
It was Elvis Presley with ‘Way Down’
6
Dirty Den was a cunt. Murdered a cab driver in cold blood.
Then he got done for flashing online and rubbing one out.
7
I know she has a rep a the Albert Square bike. But Kat Slater was always a bit too – well – trollopy for me. Cheap slappers never really float my boat.
Little Mo and Zoe Slater would have done for me defintely. Both of them would be subjected to a Norman Conqest.
https://www.geocities.ws/nugentrussell/look02.jpg
7
The wonderful thing about Neverenders, apart from giving the gin drinking grannies in the pub a topic of conversation ( and who won at bingo “I was sweating on 19 for ages”), is this:
You only need to watch it twice a year, because the plot lines move with such glacial slowness, that’s all that’s needed to be fully up to date, assuming you actually give a fuck, of course!
No, me neither. Watching paint dry is much more exciting.
4
Unwatchable crap but that’s soaps for you.
4
Though I’ve never watch this shite, you can always tell if its being watched when walking around local, it flashes from scene to scene subliminally for people with very short concentration spans.
3
Also ideal for the lowest common denominator.
2
How come, on soaps, they are never watching soaps?
3
The closest they came was when asked, put this in your Palmolive and the reply was, not on your Lifebuoy.
1
Well here we go, I personally am quite pleased in forty years to have never watched a episode of this over rated drama. I don’t know a single sole that likes, this show, that the ba keep pushing.
3
An absolute load of fucking old shite, made for the brain dead of society! It’s right up there with I think I’m a celeb, BB a Skittles and Darts! When I used to work for HM, the fucking female staff, and the limp wristed Gaylord’s couldn’t wait to get into the office and start dissecting the previous nights vomit inducing offering! They just looked at me in horror when I told them I didn’t watch any of it!
4
Some of the shittest ‘actors’to ever dirty a TV have been in NeverEnders.
Ricky Butcher, what a cunt.
Also, Dean Gaffney (twat), that shouty Bianca bitch, Ian Beale (of course). those Eyetie DiMarco brothers arseholes, and wobbly head killer cunt Janine. And that horrible faux Northern cunt, Joe (or ‘Jaw’). Who thought everyone was evil and ‘T’ Devil’. His mum in it (Lorraine Wicks) was worth a tug though.
I liked Mike Reid as Frank Butcher though. i also wanted to do rude things to his daughter, Diane Butcher.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI34qd7ZIvc
6
That useless twat Adam ‘one trick pony’ Woodyatt is on my death list, erm….I mean of course the light hearted and purely for entertainment and not wishing any harm to anyone named, Dead Pool! It’s just a bit of harmless fun…….right?
2
Harmless fun, indeed!
Speaking of deathlists, I mean deadpool … there’s a wide open goal waiting for some jammy late poster on this current one (351), as headlines abound, as I type, with the likes of…
“Bishops call for prayers as Pope Francis’ condition worsens” …
It’s in a category of uber-ludicrousness all of its own, once their head-honcho cunt is on the way out and the plebs get asked to throw their lowly-by-comparison magic wishes behind the churches #1 absurdity-peddler. (and THAT fucker didn’t even call for prayers for the Southport victims last summer, don’t forget).
Fuck off to the great nothingness you safe-playing hypocritical busybodying old cunt! ..
🥳
4
Not a big fan of him, then?
2
Well, FT, … last week I prayed hard for twenty minutes that ‘god’ would fix the gear linkage on the wife’s car, as she was having trouble selecting reverse.
And did he?
Did he fuck. If anything he made it worse. Now she can’t even get it into 2nd…
(A letter from a reader to the Vizzians Issue 46, chapter letterbocks page 1..)
4
Hmm. So many of you say you’ve never watched this soap, but seems to know a lot about it😉 I watch it but: 1. I’m female, 2. I’m a thick cunt, 3. I’m brain dead, 4. I like it😁
10
Lol Jill nice one!
Sadly I’m old enough to remember the first days of ‘Corrie’ and ‘EE’;
great writing and acting. Trouble is that they (and others) eventually run out of road under the relentless pressure of week in week out scheduling, and the plots become more and more ludicrous, and of course the rot of wokery has also set in.
But if you enjoy it, go for it girl!
4
To be honest, Ron, I can never understand how people can enjoy that fucking rubbish! Do people not have enough drama in their lives, or do they dream of being that miserable? People used to laugh at Dallas and Dynasty, but at least it was a bit of escapism, and how the other half lived! I could never understand how no one in EE had a washing machine, and had little money but ate every meal in that dreadful little café, and was in the fucking pub every lunchtime, and night!
4
5.8 Billion a year and this is the Jewel in the crown of the BBC. Value for Money? Where?
Some would point to Doctor Woke, the iconic kids SciFi show they murdered with early PC in the 80’s resurrected and then by collaboration with the Disney evil empire destroyed again.
The new Doctor is apparently about to flounce off for superstardom in the US and leave the Doctor Who Universe destroyed.
The cunt will be sucking Phil Mitchell’s cock behind the Queen Vic within 5 years.
If only the BBC stuck to its purpose of enlightening and entertaining instead of pushing propaganda in our faces.
40 years of Eastenders should be a thing of shame not a cause for celebration.
4
Doctor Whoke was killed the minute that cunt Tennant entered the TARDIS. His hogging, scenery chewing and gurning was unbearable. He was even worse when he returned to the role in 2023.
Eccleston was superb, and Smith and Capaldi could have both been great. But the woke and misandrist drivel they were both given crippled their time in the role.
That mincing choccy drop Ncunti Gayblack leaving Doctor Who would be a cause for rejoicing. But fans said that when Jodie Whittaker left. It’s like an endless loop of out of thr frying pan and into the fire.
I shudder at who – and what – the BBC will choose for the next Doctor. Ncunti is the lowest and most awful yet. But God knows what sort of woke abomination is to come. A Muslim Time Lord? A trans Doctor? Don’t bet against it.
4
ON that score, Norman, .. is the (re)Tardis wheelchair accessible, perchance?
2
Only Fools and Horses had its 40th anniversary in 2021.
The BBC ignored this, no celebration and nothing else. Like it never was on air.
Only Fools (especially in its early years) was a genuinely great programme. It has also made the BBC millions over the years. But, because its earlier episodes are ‘un-PC’ and seen as ‘racist’ and ‘sexist’, the Beeb made out it never existed.
I’ll leave you with one the greatest Only Fools exchanges…
Uncle Albert: ‘I think you should tell Rodney. Don’t seem right. I mean, it’s not fair.’
Del Boy: ‘Neither’s Frank Bruno’s arse, but you don’t go on about it!’
4
One of my own personal OFaH moments, Norman, … in (only) 2 words …
‘Dirty Barry’
(the name of the owner of the sex shop in the exploding sex-dolls ep)
4
I love that one, Cuntemall. Danger UXD.
Del throws the blow up dolls over a wall and they explode as some old tramps look on.
Del says ‘Told ’em not have to have the mutton vindaloo.’
3
This shite is nothing short of state sponsored ‘bread and circuses’ and should be off the air! Permanently.
Distract and stupefy the chattering masses with preposterous story lines ‘performed’ by an endless supply of talentless, vainglorious Z listers, most of whom should be locked up in an insane asylum!!
Any cunt who thinks there is value in discussing this tripe needs to be shot.
God forbid these same fools would actually take the time to talk about society’s real problems instead of this made up drivel. However, I suspect this to be impossible because they can’t tell the difference…
Eastenders fan? Total cunt!!!!
2
The recent episode was scraping the barrel, even by NeverEnders (lack of) standards. A ‘dying’ (yeah right) Sharon Watts in the rubble of ‘Ver Vic’, and her old mum. Angie Watts appears as a ghost. Now, Anita Dobson was one of the few good actors and characters who was in this shite. But, putting a dark wig on her and making out it was the same Angie from 1985 was bad, even for the BBC.
Now, Lucasfilm (cunts though they are) did a half decent de-aging thing to Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker in the Mandalorian. But, this is the tightarsed BBC we are on about. And Anita was made to look ridiculous. And they’ve all done the ghosts thing now. the Street, Emmerdale, NeverEnders. They are supposed to reflect real working class life (Ha fucking Ha), but bringing back dead characters is a load of bollocks This shit is so far removed from reality it’s an absolute piss take.
4
Shall we celebrate the 100th comment with a relevant Letterbocks recall?
“Has anyone else noticed how true to real-life soap operas are these days? Why, only last week I murdered my local pub landlord and rented out my mother’s house ro several interested parties.”
(September ’91, Google helped me date it to) .. So same shite, different year. No., actually…Same shite different decade. No, come to think of it, …Same shite different century.
No, wait.
Same shite, different fucking millennium.
How many current cunters will still be a-cunting yesterday 10 years for the ‘Eastenders 50th anniversary bbc extravaganza’ cunting?
1
Re the title of the nom:
The words “happy” and “Eastenders” don’t belong in the same sentence.
Miserable caants.
0
Basically if it was true to life , the show would be full of muzzers that haven’t integrated and don’t speak English , so it would be in Urdu .
There would be a grooming gang based in the Vic but if would have been converted into a masjid or whatever they fucking call it
Of course there would be a “Christian” . He’d be plotting some ridiculous attack and have Al Qaeda manuals but definitely be Christian and not tacitly a Muslim at all .
They would have to bring Peter Beale and Clyde Tavernier back to dish out some law and order
Colin and Barry , the original Eastenders gays would have been stoned to death outside Ian Beale’s cafe , now an unlicenced mini cab/ trafficking front for aforementioned grooming gang
Dr Legg would be Dr Khan and he’d still be practising despite being struck off 17 times for fondling Stacey Slater’s clanging jugs
This would be ultra realistic
0