This one from Domino(ooo)s
It’s from 2022, recycled ( committed to being Green, then), to promote their current 50% off ad campaign.
The Domino’s ads in general get on my tits, but also ads for incontinence pants/pads. I’m 70, I don’t piss myself when I cough, sneeze or laugh, I don’t need a product for ‘just in case’, so fuck off.
I’ve already cunted the better, brighter, more efficient at lower temperatures laundry products, so I won’t go there again, except to say I’ve noticed a lack of fit, young birds rolling about under my duvet.
Over to you.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
The supermarkets some 15-odd years ago decided to start the trend of adding fucking bastard taglines under the company.
‘Every little helps’
‘Lightening the load’, etc.
Like anyone actually believes that any large corporation gives even the slightest fuck about helping any of their customers.
I like our business tagline.
It’s not stated; it’s more of an inferrence:
You can’t afford our product.
18
On that note – how about Sainburys grandiose “Good food for all of us” in a Bridget Phillipson voice. Then there is Jet Two with those poofters singing higher than the Bee Gees, and that old tart whining about her “pee pants”. Some daft looking bugger whistling like Ronnie Ronalde (there’s one for the oldies!) because he has found cheaper insurance, and those old buggers in Tesco with “I’ve got the power” blaring out, but by far the VERY worse one is some self-satisfied old cunt lying in the bath, grinning like a monkey that has seen a bag of nuts talking to his wife in the bathroom with him about the wonderful funeral they have just been to courtesy Pure Cremations – he makes it sound so wonderful I wonder she didn’t shove the electric fire in the bath with him so he could enjoy another one sooner. Then Sun Life with a right old poofter chinwagging with some old dame at a flower stall – appropriate as he is such a big pansy.
Come to think of it they are all a load of shit.
22
If you sang higher than the Gee Gees (because of the horse teeth) the human ear wouldn’t be able to pick up the sound. All you’d hear is barking dogs.
6
Good Morning,
In hospital last year, at death’s door, and those Pure Cremation adverts on the telly incessantly, not exactly encouraging. Their latest tagline is you can have a dignified funeral, although the alternative sounds a lot more fun, everyone pissed, shagging behind the curtains and maybe a bit of a punch-up. My Doris disapproves of alcohol at funerals, while I am all for a piss-up.
7
Lovely sausage rolls.
4
A local Undertaker recently posted on our local forum that ALL undertakers offer a simple cremation service, it’s usually about £1200 – £1400, unlike the £2k+ that Simple Creations and their ilk charge.
You can organise and pay in advance, if the company goes bust another local company will pick up the slack, that’s what the regulating body is for.
Don’t be taken in, not that any of you would be.
4
Every fucking advert gets on my tits – cos they all feature mixed race couples!
34
It’s a good way to decide which products NOT to purchase.
18
there was even an advert recently that had model figures – they were fucking mixed race! Source of constant arguments at Cuntingford Towers – Lady C says she agrees, but is sick of me going on about it. The ones with the middle class spooks make me laugh – yes, th eodl fella playing tennis with his kids, or skiing, or getting in the range rover to go rugby practice – oh, and they love dogs as well. Shite.
14
I grew so fed up of my ex’s lack of racism and pro-gayer clap trap I dumped her.
11
Advertising is a swizz.
I’ve bought loads of Fairy Liquid and never once woke up with Nanette Newman.
Bitch.
15
I believe Dolly Mixtures are a good seller because of it, due to the wolligoggs.
9
That Comfort, or Lenor one with a double bed out in a park, where Will Smith is so impressed with the (brand new, to my eye!) clean bedsheets, the cunt declares ‘I ain’t giving this back bro, innit?’, as he holds on to the (probably empty) container.
Stereotyping greed /theft in the coloureds is so typical, and would be very racist if not hugely bang-on.
15
p.s. I hate ads, their (dumb)proliferation reminds me whenEVER one reaches my senses, of how I hate this entire fucking cunt species and …. ; oh wow! didn’t take long to get there today..
15
That’s reminded me of those hotel ads featuring unfunny racist Lenny Henry where he nigs his way towards reception and the bird says “good morning, Sir” (rather than please don’t rob/rape me) and cunt Lenny looks around and says “it is now”.
Nowadays he couldn’t even get a room, as they’re full of his fellow moon crickets.
22
A `melancholy coon` indeed, Tombo …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbJOb0Acxzc
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I love a crunchy bowl of NıggerPops® in the morning.
And it makes the milk go all brown.
🎉
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Cöön flakes.
5
Yep …
https://avatars.fastly.steamstatic.com/f63ea1798c445233d669d3fc02321228f9f93844_full.jpg
2
Coco poofs.
3
TV adverts baffle me. There was a time when they were at least amusing. Now it appears that for starters an essential qualification to be an actor in such is to be black or brown. The adverts appear to be mostly for incontinence and sanitary materials, spacca chariots and cremations in which everyone seems to be deliriously happy judging by the stupid fucking grins all round. My wife has instructions to phone round for the best price for burning me on the day I die. I haven’t seen an advert for years that might persuade me to buy the product. They’re the reason the mute button on the remote is highly polished.
14
For the good old days when that girl walked through a cornfield peeling back the wrapper to give fellatio to a Cadbury’s Flake, and the girl at a party who everyone ignores, then she goes home and you see her stark bollock in the shower with a bar of Lifebuoy. I even liked the Shake n’ Vac lady.
14
yes – there was something of the MILF about the shake and vac lady. However, my experience was my aunt’s Grattan catalogue.
8
I attended a marketing lecture at the Regent Street Poly in 1973 and we had an hour on the Cadbury’s Flake advert and why people liked it. She was a jolly good sport that girl in the advert.
6
That puff with a fake beard and teeth that would make Ray Charles snowblind needs a full Oven.
10
and what about those two fat Gays mewling over creme eggs?
the degenerate Cadbury Cunts.
Thank fuck that advert got banned.
10
I caught one last night.
Put out by some vegan group (ffs!).
Apparently calfs are separated from the mother cow soon after birth so that we inconsiderate people can drink their milk.
They even showed a cow with a tear in her eye to show how sad she was.
Calfs are kept with their mothers until fully weaned.
The mother cow produces excess milk as long as it stays getting milked.
These fucking moron vegans imagine that cows will live in family groups and the farmer will continue to feed and care for them, getting nothing in return.
Listen you cunts!
If people didn’t eat meat or dairy products then there would be no more cows.
There is simply no point in their existence if we didn’t eat them.
24
Exactly Artful, but the irony of the same type of cunts who talk about that being cruel, are the same type of cunts who want kids removed from parents to indoctrinate them with degenerate behaviour and turn them into “mentul elf zombies”, anyway adverts in the UK are almost like a benchmark of what products I buy and which ones I don’t!
16
If we weren’t supposed to eat them they wouldn’t be made of steak and burgers.
7
One does have to wonder about the first guy to discover cows milk and what he was up to.
3
I wonder who worked out which mushrooms are edible and which ones are poisonous CotI.
0
or pigs or chickens etc. been saying it for years…these animals are effectively a farmers crop and will cease to exist if there is zero demand for their products.
the tree huggers seem to think if they were all let free to roam tomorrow they would continue to exist.
idiots
2
How very true.
And since we grant these animals the privilege of existence, it is only right and proper they should be made to suffer for the sake of our convenience. In essence we are playing God to these lucky creatures, and as it is God’s role to make Man suffer, it would seem only fair that we see to it that the livestock we bring into existence should suffer equally unduly.
A small price for life, I’m sure the cows would heartily concur.
1
“The mother cow produces excess milk as long as it stays getting milked.”
Same as women then Artful.
3
I have noticed that there are still a few adverts that are ‘white’, this no longer reflects modern Britain.
Where are the migrants, never seen them in children’s adverts when we know they hang out by the school gates.
The OJO ads piss me off, it took a while for me to work out it is some online bingo rip off, loads of idiots dressed in stupid costumes jigging around and some grinning tart with an iPad – feel the fun, yes fuck off.
9
A bit of fun.
Guess the annoying advert……..
“Scanner time”.
“Well you wrote it Bruno”.
“Don’t miss the gig of a lifetime because of bulky pee pants”.
“Explain it to him Sainsbury’s”.
“Spray, wipe, done”.
“Can I really do this”. (That will test you!)
“Your scalp will thank you”.
“I am what I am”.
5
“Bang! And your cash is gone!”
5
When it first came out, I did actually send an email to Dominos to ask what sort of moron came up with the advert. Never got a reply. Mind you, I never got a reply from the ASA asking why there were so many blacks in UK TV adverts when their percentage in the population is less than 4%. I’m probably going to get a visit from the Starmtroopers soon.
15
They always have a beautiful, blonde wife and a lovely house too.
No hint of drug-dealing, pimping, going AWOL and not a zombie knife in sight.
I know advertising stretches the truth now and then, but come on.
16
That annoying, stereotypical, bald póóf in his red suit advertising The Postcode Lottery.
The Lifeboat advert where you get your name in tiny writing on the side of a boat in return of signing your will over to them.
The tagine “Always keep out of reach of children”.
For dishwasher tablets.
The spontaneous dancing when someone smells, eats or receives whatever is being sold.
That new fucking KFC advert with zombies dancing.
All NHS adverts (It probably isn’t cancer but see a doctor anyway).
Any charity advert.
11
I taught my grandchild not to eat dishwasher tablets by making him lick one.
How is he going to do the washing up if he can’t reach the tablets?
8
“Always keep away from children.”
Good advice I’d say.
10
should be for a certain selection bbcunts presenters MM.
4
And the boat riders DC.
2
There is the East Midlands Railway advert that is on incessantly every ad break, sometimes twice in the same segment. Especially shit fizzing considering the state of the railways and the service |(or lack of) they provide. That said I can’t remember the last time I caught a train.
4
You wait to you see Rodney’s recreation of the Lord kitchener advert..
Big fat jowly head, fake stick on mustache, mop bucket on head, pointing a finger just pulled from lord alli’s shitty arse.
Sign up to be cannon fodder for a government that despises you..
18
Hoovering, eating, doing the laundry, washing up, all in slow motion while smiling inanely.
5
I’m on a role here……..
What about the dating app adverts where white women only seem to choose black guys that look like serial killers.
10
Probably based on a true story of Yvette Sugartits Cooper on Tinder, dressing up as a schoolgirl and begging for Muslim dick up her back passage. Reverse cowgirl action of Ed Balls fat belly just doesn’t touch the spot anymore.
5
The one where the niggy-nog is pretending to wash a clean plate behind her and smiles disturbingly when she mentions the kids. He’s behind her again in the shadows at the end wearing a dark suit, you don’t see him until he smiles.
Disturbing.
9
He’s practising appearing calm and normal for when Social Services come round.
10
Aye, that black fella is in one for eBay and another for a cleaning product.
Must be making a tidy sum…🌚
7
Sure it’s not 2 different one’s? The do all look the same to me.
6
Thanks to everyone for the entertainment. I’ve avoided them from nought plonk and my theory was correct, they’ve become worse than expected.
3
They are Sammy, they’re fucking trash. For trash society.
Some cunt went to a recording studio and sang about a toilet cleaner. David Mitchell while taking the dough to advertise some bank or something, uses the phrase ‘we’ about the company.
Say what you like about older ones being corny. Forty years later, every cunt surely remembers which product supposedly helps you ‘work, rest & play’ .. or the tune that was the Iron Maiden soundtrack to hero of the time Daley Thompson (might have been Will Smith?) running the 100M then swigging on the Lucozade. 🎼 Just one Cornetto? .. give it to me – or I will fucking wet you, bro, innit? (that last one adapted for modern audiences).
They were still cunt, but a higher quality of cunt.
I’m off to give Alice Donut’s “The puny and revolting men of advertising smile” a metaphorical spin …
4
Only remember the Mars Bar one, Cuntemail. Mainly because of Michael Jackson biting his hand off, thinking he hadn’t finished it.
3
Frankie Howerd was good on those old adverts.
The cream cakes ones, when he was a monk.
Frankie also did Boddongtons bitter ads.
Rigsby and Joan Collins advertising Cinzano as well.
And the yearly Woolworths christmas adverts.
Joe Brown, Tommy Steele, Anita Harris, Max Bygraves, Lulu and all them. They were part and parcel of the British festive season.
One of the most surreal ads was Eric and Ernie advertising the Atari games console. Eric Morecambe going on about Yar’s Revenge and Missile Command.
3
Was the iron Maiden track the phantom of the opera, brilliant thumping track.
1
Google tells me it was (I went straight to American metal after punk) .. just YT’d it ; he takes the swig first, then runs (duh, me) … but what I twigged the most was the drink was still in the glass bottle back then. 10x nicer than the soda-y piss in the plastic it is today.
2
We will soon have euthanasia providers lining up to advertise alongside the cremation ads. I can also foresee the links being made between diarrhoea, Tena Lady and so on, and euthanasia. ‘Sick of shitting yourself in the cafe? Sick of pissing your pants at Glastonbury? Why not check out the special offers at “Death U Like?” (This advertisement is in accordance with NICE guidelines). ‘
Fuck off Two Kweers, you granny killing cunt.
Good morning, everyone.
10
I hate adverts that try to appeal to the thick illiterate masses.
Ones that include ‘words’ that don’t even exist. The Tango ad that says ‘Citrusy Zing’. Citrusy isn’t a word.
And that Pepsi Max one. ‘You probs prefer Pepsi’. Saying or printing the word ‘probably’ isn’t hard They just want to appeal to stupid chavs or wiggas or whatever they are. Those old Carlsberg commercials didn’t say ‘Probs the best lager in the world’, did they? It’s lazy, and it’s encouragging people to be stupid.
And, I also can’t stand chocolate adverts that mention a ‘choclateir’. My arse. It’s all made in a factory (probably not in the UK),and nobody gives a toss as long as it’s edible. ‘Personally handmade by our specialist choclatiers’. Fuck off.
Also, those Magnum ads. A choccy ice cream lolly is nice in the hot weather.But that ludicrous crunching noise? It sounds like Bottom, when Richie gets his knackers caught in the door.
14
And no disgruntled cunt ever gobs(or worse 💦) in the vats either, while the cameras are rolling… pure make-believe ..
2
Any advert for ‘wimminz issues’.
Usually the people in the advert are obese, of undetermined sex and all shades of brown in some desperate attempt to be inclusive.
5
Or those adverts on city centre billboards of fat ugly black wimmin in underwear. Absolutely repulsive.
In the 80s and 90s it was beauties like Paulina Porizkova, Renee Simonsen, Cindy Crawford and Yasmin Le Bon who advertised ladies duds.
Now, we are tortured by images of Lizzo and other chocolate hippos. Deansgate in Manchester is full of them.
Mind you, the Ann Summers shop still flies the flag. A stunning blonde in not very much, with the cathcphrase ‘Come Together’.
Well, they’re going to, looking at that.
https://cms-uploads.mumsnet.com/cache/containers/images/competition—630-x-365-%282%29.png/d8dcbe3e8eb5a7cf422986d2e6f40d54/competition—630-x-365-%282%29.webp
6
Feminine hygiene products are wasted on AnalEase for obvious reasons, and on Dirty Ange : “Rich girls use a sanitary towel, poor girls use a sheet but Rayner uses neither and leaves a trail along the street”.
You can be sure Eddie Ladyboy Izzard is a frequent user of Tena Lady products just to prove he’s a laydee
5
Like a wounded snail…
3
I fully expect ‘Dame’ Fester Rancid to be doing Euthanasia adverts soon enough.
Her fake sheepiish look, and her end of That’s Life ‘charidee appeal’ voice will be back on our screens…. Unfortunately.
5
One advert they must show, is the one advising you to go on a diet by have a picture of WanKeir on the fridge door.
5
Remember the British Army adverts and ‘Be the Best’ slogan?
Parachuting out of airplanes or jungle commando training in Belize and all that kind of stuff, things that would incentivize a young lad to join up and go and see some of the world and make friends for life.
They went woke a few year ago, snowflakes crying about mental health or some shite. And they wonder why we have a recruitment crisis and no soldiers for the Ukraine meatgrinder.
4
Just last night our bent 2 tier free gear granny harmer compulsive liar and all round mincer prime minister said something about sending troops to Ukraine.
If Brits wanted to go to Ukraine they would be better off joining the Ukranian legion, better pay and gear, The ruperts probably a bit more keen to get stuck in too.
Given the lack of support for and morale in our shrinking army and the pointless fights they die for theres really not much incentive to sign up but thats a different cunting I guess.
9
Remember this British Army advert from the 1970s:
“Join the army. Travel to exotic distant lands. Meet exciting people and kill them.”
Sadly I was too young to sign up.
4
I’m fairly immune to ads, Don’t have a tv as such, everything I watch is via laptop and projector but using brave browser which seems very powerful in its ad blocking compared to others.
I do have to put up with the odd ad when watching rugby on ITVX and the stupid “sponsored” segments of youtube videos, usually for nordvpn or some useless product.
TV ads of yesteryear are actually worth seeking out to watch, things that would get people sacked at marketing meetings now if they even mentioned the idea now.
But from my limited experience with ads now they all seem to be attempts to be:
Funeral plans
Pointless over 50 plans
Nonsense charities wanting lots of money
A skewed representation of ethnicity of the country
Fanny pads for both men and women.
3
It’s the charity adverts for Africa and all the maladies the Pat Boons endure. My response, not my problem now fuck off.
7
O/T, any thoughts on this UK funded anti British pile of shite.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14172111/anti-british-movie-kneecap-wins-Best-British-Film-gong.html
“Pog mo thoin”
6
This Domino effect should happen precisely on the edge of a volcano.
3
All tv adverts get on my tits. Actors using silly exaggerated voices and shouting, and suddenly starting to dance around like stupid twats. I always mute the sound until the programme restarts and frequently change stations if something appears on the screen that annoys me.
When was the last time you saw an advert on tv and said ‘Oh that looks good, I’ll have to go out and buy that’? Never, if you’ve got half a brain. Adverts are made for people who haven’t.
8
That’s why Allan, we must defend the necessary evil bbc, to prevent even the subliminal thought of an advert.
1