The Standard

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Nobody will deny that keeping a print newspaper in Britain today is a dfifficult business, however the former London “Evening Standard’s” last editor, diluted the news content so badly it ended up as a freesheet – and like it’s morning brother “Metro”, it became so piss-poor they couldn’t even give it away, so it has now disappeared from the evening streets and is .reduced to a once a week print magazine for tarts and quares, usually mummy’s boys and daddy’s girls who live in a Hackney loft, and can probably barely read anyway.

It retains an on-line presence, however, just like the woefully mis-named “Independent”, and this is a woeful example of it’s journalism – they support Khan and did support Kweer, – which shows why it is on it’s way out (if we are lucky):

The Standard

Nominated by W C Boggs.

Tagged into this nomination is a cunting for the Metro by Lord Cuntingford.

Could I also add to this the other London arse-wipe, the Metro (I don’t know if thisi rag is inflicted on other towns, or just London). Dumped at stations across the capital, this piece of crap contains drivel regurgitated from other sources, while being packed with adverts for all sorts of shit (mostly over-priced flats). And some people site an take the whole journey to “read” it – mind you, I guess it takes them away from their phones for a minute. It does bring a bit of nostalgia back when I think of tube trains packed with white people all going to work and reading the Times or Telegraph, being polite, allowing people to get off, and the smoking carriage.

51 thoughts on “The Standard”

  1. The metro is a rag that adorns the floor like a carpet at the local bus station, thrown around Luke confetti 🎊 by the local yoof…about all it’s fit for like many things in the UK at present 💩

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  2. Back when I drove buses I was supposed to load the Metro holder with a pile of papers on the way out of the yard in the morning, naturally I forgot this daily.
    And if I ever took over a bus which had metros on board I would remove them immediately and bin them.
    Always kept a couple in cab though as they made an excellent barrier between my clean, hygenic trousers and the seats which contained fermented sweaty arse juices of an assortment of the worlds finest.

    Nothing worse than some old fart getting on a bus just to grab a paper expecting me to wait til they got off again but great satisfaction in taking them on an unwanted free ride.

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  3. Newspapers are only useful in londonstan in the summer months to keep the flies at bay. Attracted by the piles of rubbish and the dirty third world vermin that enrich our once great capital.

    No good for stopping a knife attack or a peaceful pavement driver.

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    • Clearly you don’t live in London.

      We can weaponise a free sheet newspaper the same way the peacefuls can weaponise racism or a truck.

      Adapt and survive is our motto.

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      • No sir, but I spend alot of my working life there, but I do have a large transit van full of tools and materials.
        Enough to dispatch a mosque full of peacefuls if need be..

      • You have my sympathy.

        But everyone knows, in order to despatch a mosque full of peacefuls you just need to come at them with mouthwash and soap

        They melt. like the witch in the wizard of Oz.

  4. All modern day newspapers are little more than comics.

    I stopped tradingbthem in the 90’s.

    I was, at the time, a Daily Mail reader, but got pissed off with their near daily attempts at convincing their readers that they were either already dying or probably would do soon, of things like Mad Cow disease and dementia, and the perennial threat of cancer, usually caused by things like eating, breathing, exercising, not exercising, sleeping too much, not sleeping enough, coffee and bacon.

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    • ‘4 digestive biscuits a week’ is the one I remember most.

      Increases a man’s chance of cancer by some percentage, the headline.

      Was only a kid but remember thinking DOES it, though? … not just a quirky little coincidental common-enough habit that a few of your study subjects indulged in?

      Digestive fucking biscuits daily. Not 3, no, .. not 5, … but 4…. four is the magic number of digestive biscuits that increase your risk of ‘cancer’, if you’re a man. It’s in quote marks there, because it was unspecified type.. just a big ol’ cancer causer, those digestive biscuits. McVities should be ashamed of themselves. Pictures of gross shit all over their packaging should have been mandated, surely? … like the pictures smokers have been specifically not looking at on fag packets(that’s the phrase, fuck off!) for 20 years and more at this stage..

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      • goddammit! .. top line ^ a DAY, not a week on the biscuits front. 4 a DAY was like russian roulette with confectionary, they claimed. Late 80’s.

    • With the Daily Mail, something as innocuous as a tomato would be either a cure or cause of cancer, depending on the week.

      Utter drivel. Not nearly far-right enough.

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  6. Down my way the once mighty western gazette is now thinner than a bikers highway code or lena zavaroni, not worth the 2 quid or so now. Print is dead.

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    • Good a place as any to point out that even though I – at best – only picked up some other cunts red-top rag for a glance-through in my most idle moments, and very occasionally .. I still saw the exact same, word for word, letter to the same rag’s problem page three times over the course of 15 years.

      Once : I saw it, not memorable but years later a guy where I was working had the 2nd run of it on his locker door (the printed spiel was some cunt claiming working in a factory was giving him poovery notions, y’see!) .. so THAT triggered the ‘seen that before’ memory, and so the third time, years later on a Saturday in a mates gaff .. it was a pretty simple recall. Daily Star, 3 for 3. (Ditto the biscuit/cancer tripe I mentioned earlier, Daily Star as well).

      (The ‘advice’ in all 3 circumstances was copy & paste as well btw).

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      • The advice, by the way ran along the lines of “Im fairly sure you’re not a bumder, .. you’re just quiet and sensitive. Maybe a bit depressed. Try and get out more & mix with new people. Its probably just a phase”

        Nowadays, of course, it’d be more like “You sound like a bigot. So what? Stop whingeing. Get a couple of cocks in your mouth, one or two up yer arse .. you’ll be fine”.

  8. Londonistan, shit P mayor and shit free rags, I am surprised it doesn’t have a daily rag head news in any language except English.
    Maybe a few publications like
    Stabbers Knife
    Tower Hamlets Benefit
    Palestine News
    My favourite – Islington Cunts!

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  9. I’ll stick with my Telegraph. It might not be cheap, but nothing good is these days. I threw my copy of Metro away the day their letters column started printing pro-Remain, pro-boat sponger letters. It’s the Daily Mirror for the tight-fisted.

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    • Use to read the Telegraph decades ago when the red tops had tits. Only the broadsheet had funny articles on its page 3. One item going back years, was an article about a man that had died one particular Christmas, sat watching a now burnt out television, further on from emaciation, more skeletal, but the lights on his Christmas tree, were still flashing away. I was annoyed with the Telegraph for never revealing the make of the Christmas lights.

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  11. Briefly lived with a bird in Muswell Hill in the mid 90s. Back then the ‘Morny Stannit’ ( as Eric Morecambe said). And it was OK in those days.

    But, I have heard that is is terrible now. As bad as that vegan climate change gayblack propaganda vehicle Metro.

    And my lot have gone down to those Brighton pooves today.
    A fine tribute to the dear departed King, I must say.

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    • Oh dear oh dear Norm.

      You’ve got to get rid of that clown in goal. Maguire is a donkey and DeLigt is not much better.

      Amorin is extremely 1 dimensional and I won’t be surpised to see his job under threat before the end of the season.

      I know its a problem in all teams today, but the theatrical diving and feigning injuries is just ridiculous, and does nothing to help a team find its rythm.

      Sad news about Dennis, but a good innings and what a life.

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      • Cheers, Termujin.

        Denis was worth all our current shower of shit put togethr. It was nice to see Stepney, Crerand and Kidd there on Sinday. Wih they were all still playing for us.

        And you’re right about United, I think. There is no proper leader on the pitch. No Buchan, Robson, Bruce or Cantona type figure. Bruno Fernandes has done well of late. But that won’t last, and he will lapse back to not being arsed soon enough.

        Amorin sort of reminds me of Dave Sexton He has no defiance or one liners to handle the media. Our current manager saying ‘this is the worst side in United’s history’ is not what we need right now. The Dogs of War spirit at Arsenal durnig the FA Cup tie does not seem to be there with Amorin. Every successful Manchester United manager has to be a bit of a cunt at times. And that includes Sir Matt (ask Johnny Gilesor Jimmy Murphy if he was still here). This new lad doesn’t seem to have that steel and cunning that Docherty, Ferguson and even Big Ron had.

        Sexton was ‘too nice’ for the job, just like Solksjaer. And I reckon Amorin might be like that too. Too soft to wield the axe and easily overpowered by uppity entitled players like Rashford. And keeping faith in useless cunts like Onana might be his eventual managerial death warrant.

  12. I can’t speak to the Standard or the Metro.

    But I can tell you that here in the States newspapers are losing readers en masse because of their relentless wokeist bias and moronic leftist drivel.

    They are ridiculed and called names like The New York Slimes…The Washington Compost…The Atlanta Urinal and Constipation…The St. Louis Post Disgrace…The Chicago Spittoon and even the San Francisco Chronically Ill.

    You could read all those rags in one day and never encounter a single fact.

    A few realize they have to change. Giga Cunt Jeff Bezos of the Washington Compost has pissed off a bunch of lefty reporters with his changes.

    And LA Slimes owner Patrick Soong-Shiong has a full blown revolt on his hands for not letting his paper endorse Kamala and for retracting the endorsement of Karen Bass as Mayor of the City of Light…or rather City of Fire.

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    • I know, General.

      A friend of mine (a designer who lives in Jackson Heights NY) used to get the New York Post. She told me that it made our Sun newspaper in the UK look like The Times. And The Sun is a notorious bullshit filled sensationalist tabloid.

      And, then there’s the UK’s Sunday Sport.
      Like your National Enquirer, only with more girls with big tits.

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  13. Talking of loony woke newspaper cunts…

    The Grauniad recently had an official online tantrum. And I think it’s still up there and visible.

    It started with this…

    ‘This is what we are up against.

    Bad actors that spread misinformation to destroy tolerance and undermine democracy.’

    That was but one part of their rant. Oh dear, somebody like Laurence Fox (or someone else) having a view they don’t agree with, so they pursue an open vendetta. Whatever happened to impartial and professional journalism? And, God forbid that free speech and different opinions should be allowed.

    We all knew that they were cunts. But this ‘official’ vindictive toys out of the pram tirade proves beyond doubt that they are psychotic beyond reasoning woke fuckers.

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  14. I used to take great pleasure is making the comments section of the standard my own little ultra right wing fiefdom.

    The helpless whining of the left when I confronted them with well researched fact and logic. Their tears when utterly trounced by a right winger who clearly knows his stuff were delicious.

    The hopeless threats of ‘I know who you are’ (Good, so do I), that would then spiral downwards into ‘I demand to know who you are. You have no place in this city’. 🤣

    All gone. Because they no longer accept comments on any article that blows sunshine up the let’s arsehole or is designed to generate untold calls of ‘Deport the fucking lot! Right fucking now!’

    They are not journalists, they are gutless Leftard cowards who knows that when the civil war kicks off, they will be remembered as siding with the enemy…

    That and their bizarre obsession with Kate Moss. Who I fucking despise.

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    • Never got the appeal of Kate Moss myself.
      A smacked up stick insect. No tits, body like a drain rod.

      And her fizzog? She’s like a Star Wars creature.

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      • For years their unrelenting sycophancy made me want to physically throw up.

        Her 40th birthday was all that leftist rag reported on for two weeks straight

        How many times can you report that some manky old skank got pissed up with her mates?

        Their endless crawlybumlick of Kate Moss made me the evil, twisted psychopath i am today.

  15. Ah yes, now in my day we had daily morning papers usually delivered by a cheerful smiling (yawning sullen) paper boy, me (or perhaps even a girl – but most unusual) and now that little harmless educational part time job that earnt the youngsters of G.B. a few bob has been replaced by “influencers” as the new young income stream.
    G’d grief just imagine trying to “influence” anybody to purchase a B.S.A. D14 Bantam.
    5.30pm world to yourself nobody about and a good chance later of that lass at No17 opening the curtains in her nightie.
    Never mind Ai will write the news in future —- and you will never know.
    Evenin’ all, an wot a belter of a day, out in the hills without anybody about “can spring be far behind?”

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  17. I used to buy the Standard years ago, mainly because their TV critic, Victor Lewis Smith, was so wonderfully vitriolic and upset the slebs and lefties.
    Now, like its parent city, it’s shit.
    You could almost feel sorry for indigenous Londoners nowadays. If they still exist.
    If they want local news, they have to resort to television. BBC’s London Tonight and ITV’s similar offering look like casting sessions for Live and Let Die or Ghandi.
    What a pile of cunt!

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    • Used to like Thames Television and LWT. They were similar to Granada up here. Quality news and great programmes.

      Now, it’s ‘ITV’ as a whole corporate monster. Crap like Love Island and shite like The Masked Singer. ITV – like the BBC – is now shite and finished.

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  18. Wasn’t übercunt George Osborne editor of the Standard as one of his eight jobs after he was dumped as chancellor? He probably helped its demise.

    I wonder whatever happened to that oddball piece of shit.

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  19. I used to like the Metro.
    It used the have a restaurant review, that was interesting, local news, and Readers Letters from folk who weren’t frothing at the mouth.

    Don’t bother with it now, I don’t need other folks opinions to be frothing at the mouth, these days.

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