Like most people my age, I’ve had all of my seasonal injections; RSV, Flu and Covid. Pity that none of this stuff has prevented me falling foul of some vicious winter lurgy.
It started, as these things usually do, with a runny nose and a vague feeling of being ‘under the weather’. Within 24 hours, I’d developed a pounding headache, a burning throat, a temperature and an ache in every bone in my body. In short, I felt like absolute shite.
Being asthmatic, the doc has advised me to seek medical advice in such instances, and with a ‘there’s a lot of it about’, she promptly put me on antibiotics and steroids, and told me to stay indoors and rest. Like I needed to be told.
The drugs may or may not have killed the bugs, but I’ve been left hacking and wheezing like a shunting engine, a state of affairs which Doc Internet encouragingly states may last for weeks. ‘Drink warm water with honey and lemon, and take paracetamol’ is the advice. Gee thanks.
So here I am at the moment, stuck in an aching limbo, feeling like a wrung-out dish cloth, spending most of every day either asleep in bed or asleep on the settee. I’m sure that a sloth on Mogadon would have more get up and go than I currently have. Here’s hoping for some improvement at least in time for the Christmas hols.
What this cunt of a lurgy is I couldn’t say with any certainty. What I can say is that I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Here’s hoping that all you cunters can give it the swerve. What a bastard.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
You have `Man Flu`, Ron …
You need to dial the emergency services …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw9v6R4jCTc&t=72s
🤒
7
Yo sure it isn’t a result of the cocktail of big pharma ‘vaccines’?
24
Afternoon, Ron, trust you have recovered by now…
Last night Mrs Twenty and I went to the cinema. ‘Nosferatu’ is a decent watch, but the rest of the cinema patrons were largely scum. Mobile phones not switched off, eating popcorn with mouths open, slurping fizzy drinks, up and down to the bogs, shrieking, giggling, nattering,.. Worst of all, several sneezers, snifflers, and even one with a rasping cough. What is it with cunts who go out when they are full of lurgy, just to share it with the uninfected. Fuck them, I hope Nosferatu has them eaten alive by his rats.
15
Fortunately TT, Nosferatu stepped out from the screen and sort out the ungrateful noisy twat for spoiling yourself and the Misses enjoyment.
2
You’ve reminded me TTCUS, when watching an old black & white foreign language dark comedy film on tv, decades ago, where an audience in the film are watching a western and are shot by the actors in the film. Each time the film is shown, more of the audience are shot and killed, each time the actors face the camera.
For the life of me, I’ve been unable to find out what the film title was and what year it was broadcast.
3
Was Alec Baldwin in it, Sammy?!
3
I think TT, the film was released long before Baldwin’s parents got together and most certainly the remnants of Alex ever running down both of their legs.
2
Not enough navy strength rum you soft cunt.
13
Woods required, in large quantities.
6
It’s called the Labour lurgy Ron.
Six months of listening to nasel Rodney and his cabal of useless cunts, blathering on about black holes and climate change will drain the hardiest souls..
Only known cure is laughter..
9
5 – 4 -3 – 2 – 1 – yay. It worked.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJT8B6yIGD0
7
I was so excited I almost wet myself
7
That fucking drip would make lifting the world cup or a night with gal gadot depressing..
8
That fucking voice!
12
What kind of man says ‘Yay’ ffs?
7
This bloke, he’s like a cup of economy coffee.
Weak and watery, neither refreshing or stimulating ( and with undisolved blobs floating on top).
Boris was referred to as a buffoon. We’ll, I’d rather have him than this colourless, personality bypassed clown.
Does someone have their hand up his arse, manipulating him like Sooty?
5
This on its own is enough to make me lose the will to live
8
I saw and heard Wes Streeting today for the first time on a video today. He had more makeup on than Barbara Cartland and his voice – words fail me.
11
I recommend a ‘cocktail’ of JHB and Salma Hayek, that would make you forget about your man flu 😂
6
Have you been sitting on public toilets?
Or eating foreign food?
Both can lead to sickness.
Anyway, I’m in rude health.
Not so much as a sniffle.
No foreign germs can survive in my mighty body and pure English blood.
Maybe your part french or something unsavoury?😄
11
Alright, MNC? Happy New Year!
Over the Christmas/New Year period, we rewatched Life on Mars.
Your last sentence reminds me of DCI Gene Hunt saying “I once decked a bloke for speaking French!”
I’d love to live in 1973.
8
Happy New year CC 👍
Life on Mars is of course filmed in that hotbed of creativity -Stockport.
God I wish I was back in the 70s.
Everything seemed sane.
And everything was to my liking.
Music was great
Film.was great
Boxing was great
Fashion was a bit dodgy but you can’t have everything 😀
6
I did, I was 19 in 1973 and it was epic!
4
I find that copious quantities of vodka in the bloodstream eliminates the possibility of infections.
Plus it’s manly, along with smoking.
5
Either would probably finish me off, but fuck me, what a way to go
7
Wes Streeting will sort out what ails ye..
By bumming you to death and confiscating your house to put frail Arabs in..
Chin up old chap.
17
@UT….one of duckies minions has come out and said Elon should keep his 👃 out of UK politics….this from a party that sent 100 over to the states for 🐫toes campaign, bunch of retarded hypocrites 👍
21
I’m surprises that there hasn’t been more uproar over that debacle.
And they have the brass neck to complain that Putin is attempting to interfere with elections.
Trump does not strike me as a forgiver.
10
Soon to be adopted as the standard, coming as it does from the Secretary of State for purveying of poovery and gayness.
10
I think Kweer’s boy Wessy is more a taker than a giver Terry.
8
Indeed sir,thankfully I remain utterly ignorant of the Way of the Gay.
Give them the Syrian cure by all means.
8
Never understood poovery myself.
All those lovely ladies and tits in the world.
I mean, what else can you want?
9
Exactly Norm.
I think they themselves are subconsciously aware of the depravity, and that is what they like.
Wes could be the 2nd gayer PM.
Let’s not forget the public toilet antics of Charles Lynton.
7
Ps
The steroids are a great idea!
You’ll soon be like a Brummie Swartzenegger.
Flexing and posing in your budgie smugglers.
Charles Atlas was a genius 👍
6
Man flu, pah. I’ve just shaken off a particularly nasty bout of ‘Manthrax’ using saltwater gargles, honey, ginger and lemon drinks and some paracetamol. Took a week mind you.
Apparently Ron, according to a voice on the wireless ‘bollocks broadcast corporation’ this lunchtime, I heard a disciple of ‘their anychess’ state we are facing a ‘quademic’ of virulent viruses this winter, this ranges from the bat flu to the vomiting bug, so they really are covering all the bases.
I suspect if we didn’t let the world into this tiny island we’d all have a bit more breathing space and such viruses wouldn’t be quite so prevalent, however,
I’ll wager next week as the fools go back to work the NHS will be in full winter crisis mode, again, again, again……
11
Cmon Leo,
It is a tad unreasonable to expect the ‘Our NHS” to have to deal with sick people.
5
I’m stealing “Manthrax”.
👍👍👍
3
goDAMMIT, I didn’t want to have to be the one to have to show you the diagnosis that fits all your symptoms…
Don’t worry, man, .. on telly they always say ‘it’s not a death sentence any more’, .. and, in fact, at monumental cost to the NHS, .. people live ‘normal’ (often abnormal, though) lives, .. with the lesser version anyways.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=raniSkRLa14&pp=ygUYZmFtaWx5IGd1eSB5b3UgaGF2ZSBhaWRz
(Mes apologies, Jeezum, .. all in jest….)
8
Fucks sake, third snafu of the day … was full sure this nom was written by JP when I read it last week. 😬
RON .. ^ all in jest …
6
Afternoon Ron, afternoon all.
Have you been travelling by bus?
Windows shut tight (ooh there may be a draught of fresh air!), sneezers, sniffers, coughers and snot nosed brats wiping their snouts and grabbing hand rails.
A special kind of hell.
Hope the lurgy clears up soon.
8
Only if I really have no other choice, like having to go into town or collect the car from the garage.
Lurgy hell.
5
Oh yes!
2
Speedy recovery Ron 😉
2
Don’t underestimate the healing power of an excellent Brandy.
https://shopbhakta.com/products/bhakta-1965-armagnac
5
A man after my own heart, though cheap vodka is equally as effective.
2
Always have a bottle of Remy Martin in the house.
Remy Martin Accord Champagne Cognac.
3
Wish the lurgy upon Rodders and co.Inept fools.
3
Been the the same for a week but at least i was fine on Christmas day.
Worst thing is i’ve started to sound like that humour free cunt Starmer.
5
Perhaps you can write that Lord Ali chap and demand free stuff?
4
I had the most frightful cough and cold between December 10th and 30th – it hurt to cough but I am better now. Just imagine though if you had waddled up Dirty Angie’s what-do-ya-ma-call it, or if you were Joe Dancey and had been digging round Wessy’s dirt box – you would feel a lot worse. Every cloud has a silver lining, Ron.
6
Ron, for the asthma i recommend Combisal, and whisky for everything else. Good luck.
4
Thank you
4
An Aussie Blob from tthe old Yates’s Wine Lodge used to do the trick. Used to stop in there on my way home from work if I felt like shit.
Shitty weather, all day shift, felt rough. A Blob would work wonders.
It was on High Street in Manchester. Now sadly gone.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/deltrems/2890503663
6
Good shout sir,there was a belting one in Oldham in the 80s..
of course it’s long since gone..replaced by strange hair salons that nobody ever goes in for a haircut and chiggun shops that are permanently shut.
Cunts.
10
Well, Manchester is shit now Tez.
Afflecks Palace and the record shops on Oldham Street still exist.
But the rest of it is shit now. The Arndale Centre is a Zulu hive. Most of Market Street is boarded up and vandalised. And Piccadilly Gardens are no longer gardens. Just a concrete shithole.
11
As I recall at Yates Oldham you asked for an “all in” .
Certainly sorted out the sniffles..
Now some ethnic “laundry” of some type….🤬
8
What ho all.
I’m pleased to say that things have improved a lot, but I’m still coughing like a nag with lungworm. It’s a complete cunt.
Looking forward to getting away to Gran Canaria next month; a warmer, drier climate does wonders for chest, that and the wife rubbing it down with warm oil.
7
Tell her to do your chest as well Ron 🙂
6
In a glass put :
1 chopped clove of raw garlic.
1/2 teaspoon sprinkle of Cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon cider vinegar.
1 tablespoon unpasteurised/raw honey.
Juice of 1 whole lemon (or two halves, hahaha).
Top up with warm, not boiling water then get it all down yer Gregory ASAP.
It’s not that bad.
Consider getting one of these :
https://zerowater.co.uk/
5
Fuck that, 20 woodbines and a bottle of Smirnoff, a knee-trembler with the wife and bed before 12.
Rght as rain next day.
3
Im not jabbed but I am afraid to give the cigarettes. I have got no flues or colds for years
strangely enough.
My older brother is not jabbed but never smoked and he has had three bouts of the same this last year, He’s Christmas was fkd, with headache bursting out through his eyes, along with chest and throat discomfort. He was so bad at one stage that he was going to ring his daughter to take him to hospital but then realised that he would probably infect her, as he wasn’t thinking straight.
The hospitals are fkd with anyway.
Get well soon
5
They are full of 🛥️ invaders
4
It’s a well known fact that ciggies are good for you.
Chock full of vitamins.
3
I know Termujin, my Ma will be 88 years old this February and still puffs 20 a day like she did all of her life and still lives in her own home. She’s not jabbed either and never got fk all covid.
Mind you, the amber yellow ceilings could do with a lick of paint.
2
@Mecuntry
To be fair, the high concentration of nicotine in the wall paint of your Mother’s place has either discouraged or killed off any and all microbes that have entered her humble abode (like a vampire walking into a house uninvited).
4
Quite possibly Two in, she has an open fireplace as well for getting rid of shit, like unfinished dinners, fagbutts obviously of course, she also used to burn her outworn unwanted shoes among other things but has given that up because she is more green these days.
Yes the bugs don’t survive long in her abode. He he he ha hah
4
new year was a washout, went up to the youngests in edinburgh for new year only to find that the fucking cunts cancelled all the celebrations due to high winds which never appeared, even the met office forecast 20 -25mph so why these retards were spoating 65mph is beyond me. then i came down with the lurgy by the bells i was coughing, burning up and could hardly see for the agonising headache was bedded all the first and second. had booked gauchos for a steak dinner on new years day for my birthday but i was unable to go so the family heroicly went without me.
5
We’ve been told for years that Doctors have been advised to avoid giving out antibiotics unnecessarily because it’s over-prescription is what allegedly helps to increase the prevalence of bacterial super bugs like MRSA, E. Coli and the like.
Which is why I was a tad pissed off when, back in 2015/2016, I had a really bad tonsil infection (which I never had before, and have never had since) and I asked the GP for antibiotics and she told me “It’s probably viral so they wouldn’t work and it will probably clear up”.
That was clearly bollocks because I’d already had it for a week, had no symptoms associated with viral infection and my tonsils had white pustules on them which is what you usually get with a bacterial infection and which I’d never had with a viral infection (even when I had glandular fever).
Anyway, I demanded antibiotics, she relented, the infection cleared up, the end… although I admit that the clear up may have happened independently of the antibiotics and not because of them but who can say?
But as it pertains to Ron Knee, why the fuck did his GP prescribe an anti-bacterial medication to something which, going by the symptoms, was clearly fucking viral?! GP’s are useless, overpaid fucking cunts.
7
They are 🤷
4
Buy your own mate.
There is quite a broad range available from pet shops that are EXACTLY the same as those for human consumption, usually for fish.
Not joking.
6
It certainly helped my gill rot and a nasty case of white spot I got.
Pet shops are great for medicinal supplies.
My worms are a thing of the past!😄
7
The fleas on my neck have cleared up champion.
4
You particularly like those leather studded dog-collars Mis?
Tommy’s prolly got a few spare going cheap 🤣
6
Joking aside Termujin,
Your sort of right.
We have a spray Leuciillin which is for cleaning cuts and wounds on dogs.
I use it too.
Missus Miserable ” you can’t use that!.it’s for dogs!”
But it helped heal a cut on my hand.
I’ve also got a massive box of wipes for cleaning medical instruments off some clearance,
Pure fucking alcohol,
They’re good too.
6
Does the missus put the toilet seat down to stop you drinking out of the bowl
8
Did you feel ruff Mis? Sorry!
6
I’m not obsessed with it Mis, but it’s pretty obvious there are going to be serious problems with food supply, water, electricity, diesel etc, prolly in the not too distant future.
I have my supplies, including meds, but not really sure it’s gonna be worth surviving?
3
Similar to this, a lot of human over-the-counter meds, like paracetamol at 35p for 16 from Lidl, are OK for larger dogs, just adjust the dosage to a quarter/half depending on size, and absolute peanuts compared to the vetinary equivalent.
You might need to invest in a mortar and pestle ( I used a teacup and the end of a rolling pin), and a set of digital scales.
Liquid painkillers, aimed at babies, are useful, too.
2
Holy Hannah! I step out of the forum for a few… hours and all hell breaks loose. I can’t even tell what’s going on.
4
When I have the lurgy, I try to spread the joy to as many cunts as I can.
Quick word with HR, pop in to see the boss.
Colleagues who are cunts and near sickness limit, Would you like a cuppa ?Cunts on trains talking to Nigerian at 5.30 in the morning, cough near them. I’m a walk biological weapon.
5
Is that the violent alcoholic Eddie Hitler in the header pic being detained by the vaccine police.
4
In other news David lammys replacement is coming along fantastically well.
https://x.com/PicturesFoIder/status/1875177136488665467?t=_6N1PmDKubsSnOLPCHQSZg&s=19
7
Hey Ron,
Get vaccinated, wear a mask and if you must break quarantine, at least keep a respectable social distance.
Oh wait…
…never mind.
7
I practised social distancing for years before the diktats from on high, but that’s because I hate almost everybody and have strong urges to push pensioners into the freezers in the supermarket.
4
That’s the beauty with pensioners! Because their spinal curvature is so fucked up, it doesn’t take much to tip them over the edge… and into the freezer.
3
In all seriousness, I watched an interesting documentary about Warsaw’s Jews last night. Centuries ago they were being blamed for a very bad illness that was going around. People were dying. The Christians were blaming them for it as they were getting it in droves and very few Jews were. Actually found out years later that the reason was the Jews were keeping themselves clean, bathing and washing their clothes regularly. A lesson some of the dirty bastards of today should follow.
8
Plus the Four-By-Twos kept to themselves and tended not to mix with the gentiles if they could help it. Maybe they were onto something.
7
Shovel down some painkillers (1000 mg, max, every 4 or so hrs) No more than 2400 mg a day, and a snifter of your favourite tipple. Be stoic, be a man. Hibernate for a few days if necess. You’ll come out the other side like a warrior
3
Ethel has been under the weather for a few days, but is now picking up.
At present we are indulging in an impromptu gin binge, whilst watching The Beverley Hillbillies.
The Gordon’s is disappearing at an alarming rate. I may have to venture out on the morrow, for more supplies.
Anyway, we are unanimous in our pissed up conclusion that, modern life is rubbish.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWo5nBP1EzU
Glad you’re on the mend Ron, you need mulled wine and honey for that nasty cough.
A glass on the hour, every hour.
Good evening.
7
It was a few weeks ago but I had some kind of lurgy and it presented as a chest infection which lasted for over a week (maybe 10 days) but I grizzled like a man and got over it.
5
Never get colds and flu, I got the incurable Rheumatoid Arthritis in my thirties and now in remission, but left me twisted to fuck.
5
Most cunters here are also “twisted to fuck”.
Lurgy on the way out in Pooterville, it’s been a fucking limpet to shift but Jamesons, the ‘elixir’ I posted above, hot soup and lemsips are the arsenal. Rest whenever I feel like it too.
3