Saturday Kitchen

Posted on by

This is a cunt of a show, where some know-nothing knob head twats show you how to make “special” meals using unusual ingredients such as Mongolian pink parsley or just dog shit. What a pile of crap this is. Hosted by some twat called Matt
Lamebrain who just goes along with the clueless mongs and their moronic “recipes”. He should know better, he’s supposed to be some sort of chef, but he’s an imbecile. It’s worth a laugh sometimes,but you should avoid trying any of this fuckup food cos it’s pure poison. What a cunt !!
Best wishes mat, you cunt.

bbc

Nominated by Igor Link provided by Duke of Cuntshire.

54 thoughts on “Saturday Kitchen”

  1. How many fucking food programmes do we need?
    BBC apart from being obsessed with drag shoes and the Gayness in general fill in the gaps with cookery shows with cunts serving up plates of unappetising slurry.

    Reply ↓

  2. Just a bunch of shallow , thick cunts that laugh at every sentence. Didn’t used to mind James Martins show but that is getting the same now. Just look at me and no cooking and he has always got a fat, Yorkshire biffa on. Chubby chaser?
    I know I’m a bit of a cunt for even watching it

    Reply ↓

    • I find James Martin to be quite good. I enjoy cooking and I have learnt a lot from his shows.
      As for Matt on Saturday kitchen we call him laughing boy in the Wanksock house, he laughs at all his own jokes. Saturday Kitchen is now a pale image of the show it used to be.

      Reply ↓

  3. Just as bad as sunday brunch with top turd tim lovejoy with them glasses what he does. Keith floyd was and always will be the best. We are doomed.

    Reply ↓

  4. It all stopped when Floyd stopped. Many, many pro chefs are pissheads, he embraced the lifestyle wholeheartedly and could still knock up a grand platter.
    As least we don’t see the ‘superior’ Nigella Lawdarse and Nigel Slater anymore, piously lecturing us on how ‘superior’ they are.
    Cooking’s a piece of cake.

    Reply ↓

  5. Cookery programmes are just opium for the indolent and simple minded as they devour their delivered takeaway, oblivious to the irony.
    Or if they’re feeling really adventurous in the kitchen they might warm up a TV dinner in the microwave.

    Bon appetit.

    Reply ↓

    • I also suspect modern television chefs are,without exception,utter Gays.

      This will also likely apply to those “working” in daytime t.v,whatever that is.

      The dreadful Cunts.

      Reply ↓

  7. There is something seriously wrong with anyone who watches “daytime TV”.

    Unless of course Igor is strapped straightjacketed on a bed with a head-clamp & eyes propped open with matchsticks in front of a 85″ TV churning out continual excrement for the proles.

    Add that to your concentric circles of Hell, Danté.

    📺

    Reply ↓

    • Sam, are you referring to Danté Nichols, the silly moo in Till Death Us Do Part?
      She could have taught today’s TV chefs a thing or two about haute cuisine. Alf was always very appreciative of her cooking as I recall.

      Reply ↓

  8. A great nom with the weekend in the offing.

    Ainsley Harriot t and Rusty Lee deserve a new gig, if they are not dead yet. They were marvellous.

    Of the current shit, ‘James Martin’s Saturday Morning’ is Mrs Twenty’s favourite. I have to admit I saw him in the USA putting together a dish involving pork chops and sausages, caramelised apples and blue cheese. It also included black garlic. It looked fucking heroic. I am on about it to Mrs Twenty right now.

    Good morning, everyone.

    Reply ↓

    • Id not eat anything Ainsley Harriot or Rusty Ring piece had their paws in.

      Id rather go hungry.

      Anyone with pubes on their head shouldn’t be allowed in a kitchen.

      Reply ↓

      • I used to be a Chef and I’d never eat at a restaurant, filthy places, full of intentionally half rotten foreign muck. There’s nothing better than a home made roast dinner, pork, beef or lamb with spuds , carrots, onions, parsnips and gravy. No peas, they’re Satanic, but a Yorkshire pudding is an most welcome exotic treat down here.

  9. I’ve never seen this, but nowadays anyone who can make toast without the fire brigade attending considers themself a master chef.

    Look right, I’ve eaten cuisine by the finest chefs on the planet,

    Hollands pies ( does puddings too) by Mr Holland

    Egg n chips by Elsie the dinner lady

    And pomme frittes Avec ju by many renowned chefs.

    These cunts look like they don’t wash their hands?
    And ones wearing a Hawaiian shirt!
    Probably puts pineapple in the mash potatoes the daft fucker.

    Naw, they can’t teach me owt about food.

    Reply ↓

  10. These cookery shows are fucking pointless, everything comes in a box these days

    Hellofresh, Gousto, Pasley Box, Simply Cook, the list goes on and not forgetting
    Just eat, deliveroo, uber eats.

    I am surprised supermarkets are still going 😂

    Reply ↓

  11. Always fun watching ray mears catch kill and cook something on a hot rock fire. The men with the pot on that infernal yooootoooob is also worth a peep.

    Reply ↓

  12. It is funny this subject has come up – a few minutes ago after the 1100 news summary on Wireless 4, I hurriedly switched off to avoid the bloody Food Programme, which has run, week in, week out since God was a lad (just a different day nbow – was always Sunday) in twenty three and a half hours time, that fat poof Jay Rayner will introduce The Kitchen Cabinet, a sort of culinary Gardeners Question Time, where middle class women make a jocular or self deprecating comment about their cooking and seek advice from that week’s bum boy panellists.

    That cunt Jay Rayner is only on radio because his mum was the late Claire Rayner , a Wireless 4 favourite – he has no obvious talent, though he recently left The Guardian because he considers them anti-Semitic. The Guardian!. Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

    I might have guessed TV would cater for all the would be Wes Streeting’s – desperate in case their souflee’s collapse.

    Reply ↓

    • Claire Rayner was the one always laughing and someone must’ve tickled her fancy to produce this Jay cunt.

      You also W. C. Bloggs, must be watching “It Ain’t Half Hot Mum” on That’s.

      Reply ↓

    • Fuck pig Rayner once worked a desk jockey account handler job at a production lighting company I worked for freelance.
      We called him ‘Lovey’ as that was his mother’s catchphrase.
      A pair of ugly, Ashkenazi grifters.

      Reply ↓

  17. Why don’t they eat each other’s shite, to guess what they had been eating. That’s more likely to wipe the silly grins off their faces.

    Reply ↓

  21. Think Philip Harburn was the first TV cook. He also played Captain Pugwash in his spare time. Or was it the other way round ?

    Reply ↓

  22. Can’t say a cooking show has ever inspired me to cook one if their crap recipes. Pointless tv.

    Even most recipe books only have 1 or 2 ideas that sound ok.

    Reply ↓

  23. Drooling Jamie Oliver, saliva all over yer dinner, spit roast😁

    That speccy twat , furry Whittington or whatever he’s called,
    Dead skinny!!
    Probably got worms from messing about in the river?
    Can’t trust a skinny chef.

    You need a fat cunt for cooking.
    Someone who’s enthusiastic.
    Those two fat ladies.
    Or John Candy!

    Someone who licks the plate clean

    Reply ↓

  26. There used to be a programme called ‘Food and Drink’.
    It was on BBC2 if I remember correctly.

    That silly blonde bitch used to sample wines and tell you that they had a hint of raspberry, freshly mowed grass, apple or anything else that came into her stupid head.

    The chef on the show was a fat, Hebrew.

    Once he showed how to make salted almonds.
    He put a little oil in a frying pan added the almonds and sprinkled salt on them.

    That was it.
    His fucking contribution.

    The cunt.

    Reply ↓

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *