Yes, a cunting of intellectual proportions.
Some cunt, or commitee of cunts has decreed that plastic tops must be attached to the bottle to ‘reduce plastic waste’ Waste that never fucking happened.
So now we get lacerated gobs and tongues if we swig from the bottle. Bottles are difficult to reseal and shaking the fuckers gets liquid everwhere. Cutting the stupid tabs leaves lethal edges.
Fucking genius for a problem that never existed. And as an added bonus it is a fucking EU directive.
Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbuble.
I wonder did nicolas maeterlinck submit such a fine photographic image to Getty, or did they *commission* such innovative work from him?
Coming next : nicolas maeterlinks bold new photo for 2025 revealed only at getty …. 2 yogurt pots with lids peeled back …
11
Easy solution just go back to glass bottles with a deposit for there return when empty
As a youngster we collected any discarded bottles to get the money back and then ruined our teeth with sugary sweets
And why does every trendy cunt walk around with a look at me I’ve got some water in a bottle?
2
So this is aimed at reducing the amount of plastic waste not being recycled. A laudable aim, though I have a better solution.
Anyone found to be throwing plastic or any other waste in the street, in the park, on the beach or wherever would face summary execution by firing squad. For fly tipping I’d make it death by crucifixion.
That would soon put an end to it.
28
A bit harsh Geordie but fair 👍
10
Stop making plastic bottles might work too.
12
You could make the crucifix out of recycled plastic to add a touch of poignant irony.
✝️
18
Fair 😉
6
Wearing the people down, one irritating law/directive at a time. I presume the cunts who came up with this only drink from bottles stopped with a cork and get the butler to open it for them.
23
How uncouth.
One must have the wine decanted dear fellow, into the finest cut crystal.
Or you could just buy a bag in a box and after the first three litres just swig the next one from the little plastic tap.
9
Is that the little plastic tap with a removable plastic tab? 🤔
8
Cut the fuckers off.
When the politicians are trying to persuade us back into the EU remember this is what the EU is all about, rules and regulations right down to the most pettyfogging level.
20
Yet another EU fuckwit idea to go alongside their rules on mislabelling jam, not allowing bendy bananas, insisting vacuum-cleaners are weak, and ‘ruling’ that drinking water won’t rehydrate you.
What next? Making a rule that drug-dealers, terrorists, smugglers, and other criminals can move freely from country to country?
Psh.
18
These bottle caps have been tamper evident for years, with the little ring that stays on the bottle, the ‘new design’ has a little tether so the knuckle draggers don’t lose the cap 😂
Seems the EU are running out of ways to piss people off, scratching the bottom of the barrel with this one.
17
Perhaps they should concern themselves more with the cfc’s and pfc’s leeching into the contents of plastic bottles?
10
100% agree CC.
Genius solution. We’ll use more plastic to reduce plastic waste, muppets.
I remove them and feed them to the swans as a form of impotent protest.
9
Designed to save the planet..
Aimed at third world vermin who throw used mattresses on the street.
But I’m sure this new feature will encourage them to recycle.
End result I now remove top and put in general waste.. Well done cunts.
11
I was once driving on a minor road which formed the boundary to a housing estate on the south side of Derby Barry, when I had to stop for a man who was dragging a huge old sofa across the road. On reaching the far side he rolled the sofa upside down into the shallow ditch. He smiled and raised his hand to thank me then crossed back over the road and entered his house. He was black.
14
@arf…. must have been waiting for a free brand new one courtesy of UK plc …. Chill man 🛋️
9
arfur – just as likely to have been a Pikey.
Except a Pikey wouldn’t have thanked you for stopping.
12
Yet another. A friend who worked for Birmingham council for many years was one day sent to investigate a report of a pile of rubbish dumped in a street. He found a mound of old brickwork and on old three piece suite laid on top. He asked the Asian occupants of the house where the pile was immediately outside when it appeared. They said overnight and no, they hadn’t heard a thing. He questioned the asian neighbours and they also denied all knowledge. He observed through the open doors that the house next to the pile had got a brand new extension, not yet decorated and a new three piece suite.
11
I removed the bottle cap and shove it down the nearest hedgehog’s throat.
It’s practically a matter of principle.
7
The marvellous EU, that the snivelling cretin ed davey wants us to rejoin.
With its economy tanking, borders open to jigabòo’s and peacefuls by the boat load.
Elon musk can capture a returning rocket these twats are making having a sip of your drink a fucking ordeal.
16
Shame the spaceship blew up. Again. l😄
Musk is another (less talented, if that were possible) Steve Jobs.
Invented fuck all, took all the credit and money from other people’s work.
6
Bureaucracies have to keep inventing new “problems”, and then solutions to those problems, to justify their existence and give themselves things to do. It is mostly fake at this point. We have more government than ever and so the problems and solutions naturally increase. Becoming ever more contrived and ridiculous.
Plastic bottle cap attachments; cookie warnings on websites; yellow warning markings on stairs; the Met Office talking shite about what the weather will be like in 100 years’ time even though they fail to provide accurate weather forecasting as it is actually happening; health warnings when the weather goes a bit cool or a bit warm; 20mph speed limits when cars have never been safer; ludicrous, totally OTT building control requirements, and on and on and on and on.
With all the mountains of regulation introduced over the past 30 years, we have to ask: was this country really such a horrendously dangerous, wild west place in the mid 1990s?
The one that really pisses me off is how we are now forced to buy these stupid fucking toilets with their little tanks. No doubt an EU regulation, allegedly intended to save water, and conveniently benefitting some vested interests who lobbied the commissars for their own benefit. It might make some sense in the likes of southern Spain but in the UK? We are harassed by rain on an almost permanent basis. Then, to make matters worse, these toilets can’t even flush a turd properly. So then you have to stand there waiting for the tank to fill up. Flush again! And you’ve just used 50% more water than an old type toilet that did the job in one go. And that’s assuming you don’t need to flush a third time. Wasting your time, wasting your money, annoying you, and failing in a basic task that was mastered in the 19th century. Water saved? No, water wasted after all that. This sums the whole thing up. A massive disgusting and dishonest scam.
Multiply this insanity by literally thousands of areas of every day life and you have the civilizational decline we are living through at this moment. Delivered by useless, pompous and deluded cunts. And if you want to see this absolutely shite system in human form, look no further than the current Prime Minister of this country.
3
It’s just more shite for millions of Malaysians to chuck into the sea along with everything else they no long want.
Along the same lines,I wonder when the next catastrophic Bangladeshi flood is due,I’ll want some decent ale in to toast that.
Last but not least,Fuck Off European Union.
Cunts.
Good morning.
15
I only drink S. PELLEGRINO and can’t see them being troubled with this nonsense.
7
I occasionally use BUXTON sparkling and not so long ago, complained about rough edges when attempting to open the bottles. I rang the number given on the label and explained my predicament and it was addressed forthwith.
8
I also think, these bottles are only given to riff-raff who arrive in this country and are disposed of along with the empty bottle, once empty.
6
I also only drink San Pellegrino. The Italians are obviously ignoring the directive. Damned good on them.
7
Live near Buxton love seeing tourists walking round town with bottles of it in hand, why don’t they go to the spa fountain yer daft cunts it’s free
1
Old Polish knackers Donald Tusk was trying to temp Kweer back into the EU yesterday – needless to say Starmer looked as embarrassed, uncomfortable and upset as if he had just done a dump in his long johns. The fact the EU worry about such trivialities as plastic bottle caps shows what a shitty, useless, puerile organisation it is, they are paid a fortune for doing fuck all.
17
If the same rules are applied to the individuals who make them, we could readily identify these morons by the plastic tabs that are judiciously and permanently attached to their heads and necks.
Taking this further, the rule makers would not be populated by bent bananas or hard suckers.
8
Morning all, given the autocratic theme of the thread, I’m confident my fellow cunters will enjoy this comprehensive commentary on the Labour tyranny:
https://x.com/lozzafox/status/1879251811338702862?s=48
10
How soon before this man is languishing at HM Pleasure for his succinctly put analysis of modern British politics 🤔
8
LIEBOUR SCUM OFF OUR STREETS 😡😡😡
4
Another ridiculous solution to a problem that doesn’t exist. Removing one of those attached bottle tops would make a fitting new test of strength for The Strongest Man in Britain. Geoff Capes couldn’t even do it, especially now he’s dead.
It never ceases to amaze me the ingenuity expended on non- existent problems by bureaucrats determined to make life miserable for everyone else. And yet still no one can make an umbrella that doesn’t turn inside out and snap in a tiny puff of wind.
Cunts.
9
Those Bureaucrats deserve to be shot by firing squad
6
Remember the ring-pulls on cans. They littered the place and saved a lot of birds lives. Can’t see this catching on. Especially the water I drink.
3
“Green Ed” can shove those plastic bottle tops up his rear hole.🤡
7
The only use the attached top is good for, is to stop nonsense leaking from the mouth of the cunt in Nr 10 !
5
It’s impressive that the UK is taking recycling so seriously.
Every house has at least 3 bins I believe.
One for each type of waste that goes for recycling.
These bins are made out of plastic which besides being resistant to recycling are impossible to repair when broken.
Brilliant idea!
And your council cunts have taken the simple act of rubbish collection to a new and exciting level.
About the bottles.
The EU directive would have covered bottles made in the EU or distributed in the EU.
The EU do not have the authority to impose their rules outside of the EU.
So why does every bottle in the UK have these daft tops on?
8
Can’t see it catching on.
1
I think everone in England will have 6 bins soon.
3
If you are luckily enough to have a log burner, they make great storage bins. The downside is the number of snails that somehow manage to climb in there.
3
Some places have 5 bins at least.Madness.
4
In answer to your question Artful, it’s because the UK now has a well-established process for acceding to any request by any fucking tin-pot institution from anywhere in the world especially including the EU and the UN. Hand over millions to corrupt third world shitholes while British pensioners freeze? Give away the Chagos islands to some random bunch of ethnics? Sign us up! I’m sure every cunter could make a long list.
Fuck the politicians.
6
The huge variation in the cost of bottled water is a cunt too! Anything from 40p per litre to £6 or more for much the same thing. I am all for water machines. Just keep your bottle & fill up when required. Recycling issue solved.
3
Plastic waste in the sea.
Yes, Britain is full of scumbags but there isn’t anyone that gathers up their plastic waste and takes a drive down to the beach to dump it in the sea.
There are no factories that chuck their unwanted plastic into The Atlantic.
But the public are supposed to pay for the shit to be cleared up, out of their taxes.
It shouldn’t be too difficult to find out the origin of much of the rubbish floating around.
Find out the countries where it all comes from and make them pay.
7
I agree with this cunting 100%. I encountered this problem when I bought my latest batch of two litre bottles of pop from Sainsburys. I though it was a manufacturing fault – and now we’re stuck with this forever? The fucking idiots. I tried cutting through the plastic with scissors but it leaves sharp edges. They can’t leave anything alone.
4
I recommend small side cutters Allan, such as electricians carry. With those you can get close to the bottle and cut them off flush. Also you can use them to cut the top into small pieces which you can then scatter in the local park.
5
Yep –
I cut the top off, then cut off the tabs so I don’t lacerate my hand when I screw the top back on.
When I have finished the drink, as a protest I throw the bottle complete into the (green) dustbin!
4
Malaysia, Indonesia and India.
6
I cut myself on a yoghurt pot the other day, i told my significant other and she laughed. Bless.
4
How fucking many people must be shining the seats of their arses coming up with these totally pointless ideas..
It’s a whole fucking industry in getting paid for absolutely fuck all….💩
5
It’s all about priorities.
Once the plastic bottle cap problem has been solved I expect they will then turn their minds to weightier matters.
Water it comes out of the sky and out my taps.
The “Re” that we should have paid attention to wasn’t re-cycle and not re-use, it was Re-fund. As any old shuffler will recall, it l was their income stream when a kid. Beer bottles, lemonade bottles, found, nicked, or got legitimately all went back to get the refund of the deposit.
afternoon
5
That plastic bottles & drinks-cans recycling scheme was put into full force operation in Ireland last year. I mentioned it on IsAC at the time.
Triton, you could have retired to a mansion in Beverly Hills in your teens on the back of the statistics I found, after a few months of this scheme had passed.
200 million euros-worth of refundable cash had been spent ON those products in the 3 months elapsed, .. and seven million euros was all that had been claimed back. 193 million euros generated in new stealth revenue in a single season, basically. It’s a wonder the cunts didn’t (already) raise the deposit amount. (15c per can, small btl, .. 25 for larger bottles the initial amount).
And this shit isn’t opt-out, either .. nor did the referendum-loving cunts ask in advance if Paddy gave enough of a shit about how the country’s absolutely negligible effect (a fraction between 1 and 2 *thousandths* of a single percent on the global scale) .. as to have to play along with this futile exercise.
Coming to wherever YOU live, soon, folks … with those kinds of figures*, what bunch of political cunts won’t follow suit in other countries?
*Oh! AND the staving off the end of civilization via pollution means, by a day or two at the very end of course.
Bravo, cunts. 🙄
6
That percentage is wrong. At circa 5 million cunts, the emerald isle(christ!) .. is between 1-thousandth and 2-thousandths of whatever man-made effects globally, real or imagined (at 8.2 billion cunts overall), .. not 1 or 2 thousandths OF a percent. It’s still only in the one tenth of a single percent neighbourhood.
Futile doesn’t co e close to being strong enough a word to describe the entire thing. Fucking racket.
Thanks to all the cunters that spotted this numerical faux pas but were too polite to show me up with it!
1
Ooh, look where the biggest problems occur!
Fixing our tops to our bottles will make all the difference!
https://www.nature.com/articles/ncomms15611/tables/1
7
Not a bad idea but still they managed to FUCK IT UP.
The plastic bottle and the lid, MIGHT be the same type of plastic BUT they have different legal hygienic declarations.
This means under EU law for a bottle to be recycled the lid MUST be separated from the body of the bottle. Now how the fuck do you plan to do this EU?
Hire my mum, give her a penknife, pay her a quid a bottle to chop the tops off. Sorted. Job for life.
Stupid fucking wankers.
10
I open bottle then cut the tabs attached to the lid. Fuck them all
1
Notice how anything that could be weaponised has to be removed from Joe public’s hands, lest we use it against our Socialist overlords.
3
Some cunt demanding ‘credit’ for pointing a camera at such mundanity and pressing a button as per the nom pic has been irritating me since I saw it this morning.
“Hi. .. is that the very-expensive metal-plate picture company that YT influencers are saying are great value, in return for fiscal renumeration from the company selling them? … Great, great .. you can print anything whatsoever?, really? … Wow. Okay I need one each, largest size ye do, of the following five…
First off, ‘The Terror of War’ by Nick Ut.
Secondly, .. ‘V-J Day in Times Square’ by Alfred Eisenstaedt, please.
Third one : Can I get ‘Flag Raising at Iwo Jima’ by Joe Rosenthal? Yup!, thanks …
Four. The one of the astronaut’s footprint on the lunar surface by Buzz Aldrin. Great.
And finally, fifth, … Can I get “Two plastic bottles with their lids open” by nicolas maeterlinck? .. Yeah, yeah, uh-huh .. that one’s copyright of Getty Images, is it? I see. Oh well, just the other 4 then, please. The display just won’t be the same without that last one, though’ ..
2
Buxton Spa Water ignoring this directive, gets my business
5