Marmite

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Not the stuff itself, which is fantastic.

It’s the people who feel the need to explain the catchphrase.
“That Simon Cowell, he’s like Marmite.”

And that’s all the conversation needs.

Then the inevitable “you either love him or hate him!” usually accompanied by a simpering smile.
Yes, you know full-well that we all know the expression…why do feel the need to say it, you self-important prick?

Nominated by Thomas the cunt engine.

136 thoughts on “Marmite”

  1. I’m aware of the irony of me referring to someone else as a self-important prick when I am one myself!
    Good morning to one and all.

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  2. Funnily enough I encountered this hackneyed old cliche, more worn out and tattered than Dirty Ange’s grundies elastic, whilst on an internet search for reviews of the red wine “The Guv’nor” the other day. I had been gifted a bottle at Christmas so gave it a try Wednesday night, only to discover that it had all the subtlety and nuance of undiluted Aldi Blackberry cordial.

    My recourse to internet reviews for a broader perspective on this vile libation – in case I was missing something and needed to recalibrate my taste buds – revealed a spectrum of responses from those that validated my assessment, to the old “it’s like Marmite, you either love it or hate it”. Which to my mind is no great recommendation of anything, since it affirms it is fundamentally flawed as a product, and garners plaudits only amongst those who are in some way sensorily defective.

    I can’t really imagine someone describing a La Fite ‘47 or a Ferrari F40 as “like Marmite” – not unless they really are a gigantic ignoramus, ill equipped to pass judgement.

    So I infer “like Marmite” to be shorthand for – it’s fucking shit, and those who claim to like it are cunts.

    Morning all.

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      • At this price point, and consumed on these terms, Sir Mali, I commend your Guv’nor position and remove you from the cunt roster

      • I probably gave it away myself a few years ago arfur and it’s found its way back to me.

        I take your point re: gifted alcohol, but it does depend on the donor. I have a client who, in between ordering in crates of Krug and Clos Vougeot for himself at Christmas, always gives us a top quality crate of bonded wine which is, without exception, superior to anything even my demanding palate authorises for purchase. This year we were given an assorted twelve bottles of Pouilly Fume, Clos de St’Estephe, and Comte de Montaigne champagne (the last bottle of which I’ve noticed the missus has put in the fridge this morning, evidently intending for that to be imbibed shortly this afternoon). When I’m posting incoherent pissed rambling later, at least you’ll know it’s being fuelled by the good stuff.

    • “So I infer Like Marmite” to be shorthand for – it’s fucking shit and those who claim to like it are cunts.”

      So the correct usage would be:

      That Keir Starmer. He’s like Marmite.

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      • Afternoon General, I have been thinking of you a lot recently, imagining you must be fucking loving what’s occurring your side of the pond right now. I haven’t laughed so fucking much for a long time – I sincerely hope the good vibes spread eastwards and the electorate of this country realise it is possible for a politician to just get on with doing the shit they otherwise always pretend is too complicated to get done I.e.
        – stop illegal immigration and start deporting them back to where they’ve crawled as a clear message to not even bother
        – ban woke from public life
        – support the domestic economy and energy security
        – cut off benefits thieves
        – send Islam the clear message it needs to fuck right off out of our country

        As for the marmite description of Starmer. I am reminded of an article on Elton John in Viz many years ago that began with “loathe him or hate him we all know about him”. Except I would revise that to suit the subject of Starmer to go something along the lines of “want to see him viciously disembowelled by hoards of Jihadists as they defile and behead Ange in front of his whimpering sodomised eyes, or have him REALLY suffer…”

      • Hey Dave,

        First off let me say your recent posts have been rockin’!

        As to life here in the US of A these days…it’s fucking great!

        You listed a few but there is just so much that I can barely contain my joy. And I see it in other people too.

        The Libtard Left is peeing all over themselves and each other which just makes it even better.

        And Trump just keeps rubbing their nose in it.

        The Gulf of America!

        Gotta love it!

      • Too kind General, just saying what I’m thinking and feeling but lacking the depth and acuity of your contributions to the dialectic.

        Absolutely made up for you and your countrymen, just glorious beyond words – it is genuinely making the difference for me between despair and the determination to carry on, since I cannot believe events in America are not going to seriously impede the criminality taking place in government over here. There is quite literally hope on the horizon for us all!

        Raising a glass in your honour this evening sir, and not that fucking piss The Guv’nor, which I would consider too cruel to even force on Der Starmfuhrer! The finest of champagnes being sunk to toast Trump, yourself and your compatriots.

      • Fuck me! Now it’s asking me for info. Maybe it has something to do with being linked.

        Stay tuned…

      • Reprinted in it’s entirety WITHOUT permission.

        Reform UK’s surge in the polls hailed as a revolution.

        By Gabrielle Wilde
        2025/01/25

        Former apprentice star Tre Lowe has hailed Reform UKs surge to the top of national polling as “revolutionary”, saying it reflects growing public dissatisfaction with mainstream politics.

        Speaking to GB News, Lowe said the party’s achievement in leading the polls was “quite extraordinary”, though he noted it remained uncertain whether such support would hold during a general election.

        Reform UK has topped a national opinion poll for the first time, securing 26 per cent of voter support according to the latest Find Out Now survey.

        The poll, conducted on Wednesday, placed Nigel Farange’s party three points ahead of the Conservatives at 23 per cent.

        Labour trailed in third place with 22 per cent, marking a significant shift in British political dynamics.

        The survey, which questioned 2380 UK adults, showed the Liberal Democrats 12 per cent and the Greens at 10 per cent.

        End of part one

      • Continued…

        Former Apprentice star Tre Lowe, told GB News; “I think this is revolutionary.” Topping polls is quite extraordinary. It’s crazy whether it would manifest in a General Election, we don;t know because people tend to be like this in between votes.

        “But I mean it does say a lot. Reform UKs got a couple of real great policies and things.”

        “More defense spending, immigration controls which is a hot topic. I mean, the only thing that hasn’t been tested could be a Liz Truss moment, that’s one of the main criticisms that no one’s really tested their actual policies.”

        “It does point to the fact that people are disaffected. They’re fed up.”

        End of part 2

      • Continued again…

        “They think what’s the difference? I think that it might be a good thing now, because politicians are going to have to start looking at what the people want.”

        “You’ve seen it with Donald Trump, whether you like them or not. Suddenly you’re going to have to start looking at well what do people want as opposed to the perception that people have of politicians that they don’t really care about the ordinary person, they’re more bothered about the billionaire class, whereas now they might have to really start looking at what the people want.”

        “Maybe it is immigration, and reducing waiting lists that we spoke about earlier, which is another key thing for Reform.”

        End of this part

      • Final part…

        Reform UK chairman Zia Yusuf issued a defiant statement on social media, declaring: “No pacts, no deals. Reform is headed for government.”

        Party Leader Nigel Farange, celebrated the milestone stating: “Reform LEADS for the first time in a national opinion poll. This is just the beginning.”

        Reform MP Rupert Lowe expressed confidence in the party’s future electoral prospects saying: “Reform now in the clear. Leading a national opinion poll. I am more confident than ever that we will outright win the next general election – it’s going to happen. It cannot come soon enough.”

        The conservatives have dismissed the polling shift with a spokesman for Kimi Badenoch telling GB News: “Polls go up and down and change every week.”

        Labour accused their rivals of “fighting among themselves” while highlighting their own focus on delivering change.

        End.

      • That poll was on the news yesterday evening.

        Seems Musk spoke too soon in his bonkers bid to depose Farage and install Rupert Lowe as Reform leader.

        As for a General Election – no chance while it’s Kweer’s decision to make.

      • S-c B,

        I can’t speak to when news is broadcast in Britain, but it appears at least some Cunters didn’t see it.

        As for 2TK not calling an election…that’s what they said about Trudeau.

      • With 412 Parliamentary seats and an overall majority of 174, there’s no way Kweer or his MPs will go anywhere near a General Election in the foreseeable future.

        Trudeau’s situation was not remotely comparable.

      • SCB,

        Correction, the news you are allowed to know about is broadcast 24 hours a day.

        I read/lusten to tge news every day and was unaware of this development.

        And GB News think its a good time to erect a paywall, fucking idiots, that’s the end of them.

      • As for when the news is broadcast I was not speaking about the news in general but rather when a specific story might or might not hit the airwaves.

        As for 2TK…

        Last fall and early this winter there were multiple stories in the US press that Kweer was not popular with his party’s backbenchers.

        Criticisms ranged from claims by the far left that he has a colonial mindset in dealing with minority members of his party to a more practical complaint of him not listening to or even communicating with his back benchers.

        The poll cited claims that only 22% support Labour…if you add the Libs and the Greens to that support (and that’s not a given) he might have 44% public support.

        With 26% Reform and 23% Conservative favorability, that’s a solid 49% against him as opposed to a soft 44% support.

        If public opinion continues to move dramatically and exceeds 50% governing may become almost impossible for the FUCK…especially if the Labour backbenchers turn on him. After all, they have their own seats and asses (arses) to protect.

        I could of course be wrong but that’s just my opinion from across the pond.

      • The polls are indeed wrong on this General – they are fantastically exaggerating the support for this government; this is the most despised man in English history and his posse the same, only foreign scum support him for very self-interested reasons.

        While it may be true that we have to put up with this maggot-ridden criminal and his evil henchmen for the next four years, the rest of the world does not. Marginalise and fuck this country is all I can say. Five years in purgatory of the seventy that I may be lucky to live is worth enduring if it permanently vanquishes this country of the evil of socialism.

      • I was thinking about that Dave. Like the polls before the US election the UK polls are (probably) deliberately wrong.

        Old Flatback was more unpopular that Slick Hilly Clinton yet we were told the race was too close to call.

        The same was true of Ji Jing Joe who leaves office the most unpopular President of recent memory.

        To your point…was it worth 4 years of misery to see the Neo Marxist Brave New Green One World Caliphaters vanquished?

        The euphoria of Trump’s action certainly feels that way. But we got close to the brink…VERY close.

        And I need to remind my countrymen that the evil Leftists scum is not going to give up. It takes sustained and prolonged action lest we repeat the cycle of misery.

        We need to drive a stake through their fucking heart!

  4. I think Marmite® is bit like Vegemite® – you either love it or hate it.
    Also, I think Vegemite® is bit like Marmite® – you either love it or hate it as well. Perhaps Smarmite® might be a better product for self-important pricks. Or not.

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  5. I read something yesterday describing Nigel Farage as being ‘like marmite’, followed by the customary explanation of the term’s metaphorical meaning.

    Which really threw me, because I thought ‘Nigel Farage’ was a dark brown, savoury spread made from yeast extract. You learn something new every day.

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  7. Like Marmite makes as much sense as, enough to fill x Olympic swimming pools… how big is an Olympic swimming fucking pool.

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  8. I’m incredulous.

    I had to read the nomination three times and still I’m in a state of disbelief.

    A cunting by Thomas that didn’t include the phrase “marmite motorway”..

    I’m sorry to say you dropped the ball there Old Chap.

    Good morning.

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  9. Another overused phrase is the swan one. Calm on the surface, flapping about like a cunt under the water. Shut the fuck up, we have heard it enough

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  10. An excellent and thought provoking nom, Mr Engine.

    Marmite has recently been available in limited edition format. I must say that I rather like/liked the truffle flavoured stuff. I guess purists would say this sort of adulteration is sacrilege. Apparently Sir Elton is a Marmite fan, but I daresay it is the jar rather than its contents that interests him.

    Good morning, everyone.

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  12. I imagine there’s a half jar of Marmite with a touch of mould in most cupboards across the land, but not in mine apparently.

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  14. As with so many of our charming British idioms of speech, to visitors, legal or otherwise, from foreign climes, they become an enigma,
    A little erudite explanation by a local of the peculiarities of our mother tongue helps towards a harmonious integration.
    “So how long have you lived here, and you still don’t speak the language?”
    Mornin’ and still with a roof so far,.

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  15. I don’t like Marmite so it is not an expression I ever use. My favourite one is -“so and so is his own worst enemy”.

    If anyone says that about Nurse Nancy Streeting my response is “not while I’m alive he’s not”

    P.S: Bovril for me any day, but not that horrible weak Bovril “drink”

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  18. There is another comparator: For example, you could say Michael McIntyre* is a dog turd – you either think he`s an unfunny piece of shit, or, he was ejected out of dog`s bottom.
    🐩💩
    (* In 2012, he was `the highest-grossing stand-up comedian in the world`. – I`m assuming everyone else worked for absolutely fucking nothing that year.)

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  20. Marmite and cheese sandwich, marmite on crackers, bovril on bread or toast, whats not to like. Even put it on the wife sometimes. Haggis tonight with a few korevs, my faithful springer and er indoors. Gert lush.

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  23. Simon Cowell is like Marmite?
    You mean he’s like shit?

    I reckon Slippery Simon also has his own uses for Marmite, if you get my unsavoury drift.

    And. on that note, Fat Reg has had his own Marmite in the shops recently. I wonder, do all those types use it?

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  24. Cowell is a man who has made millions out of no looks, charm and talent whatsoever.

    This is the cunt who was behind the crappy novelty hit ‘Superdog’. Which was a load of moronic woofing to a shite disco tune It was as close to musical excrement as you can get. He was also behind the musical phenomenon that was Sinitta. Songs like ‘So Macho’ and ‘Toy Boy’ indicative of his character, one might say. Allegedly, of course (one has to say that).

    And, all his ‘discoveries’ are also shite. Usually biddable solo singers and manufactured boybands. The fucker would never be able to manage a proper band with individuals or forceful personalites. Cowell with The Who would have been hilarious. Roger would have twatted him, and Keith would have put T.N.T in his toilet.

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  25. As Marmite is produced from the filthy dregs of yeast from the brewing process, surely organic Marmite could be produced from cloning the scrapings from Angela Rayner’s pants?
    It’d probably taste more like rancid kippers though.

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    • Ange’s love tunnel was so heavily infected that it defeated all medical attempts to cure it.

      So she was given a vagina transplant. Unfortunately the new cunt rejected her.

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      • I imagine a German “enthustiast” could balance long enough to shit into her capacious twať.

        That’s the EU for you.

    • I bet you’d smear Amber Heard’s marmite all over you if she said she’d let you near her marmite motorway. You dorty fecker.

      Be like that mud wall scene in Rambo II

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      • Evening Harold, how goes it?
        If I could remove Amber Heard’s brain and replace with one that’d kind, caring and decent, she’d be fantastic.
        Although her taking a dump on my pillow does have a certain piquant charm…

  26. We don’t have Marmite in America. But we do have Vegex which according to their Facebook page is Marmite Inc.’s name for the same product sold in the States.

    Still, I don’t think you’d ever hear:

    “That Donald Trump. He’s like Vegex!”

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    • Odin in Denmark?

      Drinking Carlsberg with Thor and Loki no doubt.

      I never would’ve imagined.

      Anything good on Freya? Asking for a friend (Thomas the Cunt Engine).

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      • Thomas would wank himself unconscious over here. Or at least his fleshlight would need a major overhaul after a walk through the bars of Roskilde on a Friday night.

        The women are stunning and incredibly friendly. 😁

      • Hi Odin, perfection is far too dull.
        Give me weird looking birds any day.
        A 35 year old Björk would suit me just fine.
        Who’d be your favourite famous woman to be treated to your own purple version of Mjölnir?

      • Afternoon General, how goes it in the now wonderful States?
        Dems on the run, woke in the trash and tran§filth back under their stones where they belong.
        Damn, I wish I was in America.
        As far as Scandinavian birds go, they’re far too tall and emotionless.
        Here’s a fun blond hottie that a fellow’s dick would actually fill:
        https://images.app.goo.gl/araDaYPrYKytfJh2A
        Safe pic.

      • Hey Thomas,

        It is fucking wonderful to live in the States these days.

        Trump has military aircraft flying illegals to foreign countries. As of yesterday morning at least 3 fights have left with somewhere between 300 to 500* Shitholians being repatriated to Shithoia.

        In addition Trump worked out a deal with India on H1b Visas. In order for Indians to immigrate to the US on an H1b Visa, India agreed to take back 18,000 illegals already in the States.

        And there is so much more.

        *MSM whiny libtard press propaganda outlets differ.

      • Afternoon Thomas. Björk is one of the ex wife’s mates. Met her in Copenhagen years ago. Weird little pixie thing, but quite pleasant to talk to.

        Anyway, if I could unleash the clam hammer on any famous bit of flange, it would have to be Heather Graham.
        Even at 52 she gives me a semi Mjölnir just thinking about her fantastic perky tits.

      • Damn, she’s 54! But yes, I still absolutely would.
        And, according to Wikipedia, she’s never shat out a crotch goblin, so would likely still be as tight as my wallet when there’s a charity collector present.

      • No chuffing chance of any of GB’s illegal third world dross being deported to anywhere.

        We are well and truly fucked…💩

  28. Love Marmite. Aldi do a cheaper version called Mighty. That’s good as well.
    Have never used the half baked expression as it is fucking meaningless.

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    • I agree CC.

      Might as well say ‘ Simon Cowell is like caviar,’ etc.

      We all have likes and dislikes, what I might think is fabulous, someone else will think is shite. Like films, books, music, we all have our own favourites.

      Good job too, how boring would life be if we were all the same?

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    • I am quite concerned about MNC, Harold.

      He said he was having a bad time, work was slow and his Dad was poorly.
      I hope he’s OK.

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      • All of the IsaC Faithful knows there is a history of animosity and ill will between myself and MNC.

        Despite that, let me take this time to wish MNC all the best.

      • Ah that’s shit. I didn’t know that JP.
        I feel bad now.

        Hope the big fella is ok and will pull through. He’s got that northern grit. I hope he’s alright. Even though he mocks me for my more errrr “off the beaten path” taste in music.

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