I would like to put forward, if you’ll allow, a cunting that I believe most who frequent these hallowed pages will both understand and agree with, that being
Every Driver On The Road Is A Cunt Except Me.
Allow me to give examples which I hope you can add to
1. Scared of the speed limit Cunts – these cunts seem to take great delight in doing 40mph on a 60mph road, but then stick at fucking 40mph when entering a 30mph
2. The fuck me I don’t know where I am Cunts – these cunts creep along the kerb, threatening to stop, but never seem to, just fuck about looking for somewhere
3. The pull out in front of you then turn right Cunts – as described, these cunts pull out on you last minute, then immediately want to turn fucking right
4. The go in the outside lane at traffic lights then stick a right indicator on Cunts – so you’re waiting for the lights, and go behind a car in the outside lane, in the hope you can get a head of some coffin dodging cunt, then as the lights change the cunt in front sticks on a right indicator thus holding you up
5. Gormless Cunts – So you’re driving a long and see a cunt wanting to pull out of a side road, you do the decent thing from a distance and flash them, fuck all happens, so you flash them again, fuck all again, then as you get close the cunt decides to pull out forcing you to hit the brakes
6. The don’t like green Cunts – Another traffic light situation where the cunt in front decides to not move when the lights turn green, so after a round of fucks from your horn they finally decide it might be a good idea, they get through and the lights fucking change before you do
I know there are more, and when I go out later I’ll be cunting myself for not including another cuntitude I have encountered.
Nominated by : Dry Itchy Cunt
Do-gooding bastards ahead of you who let people into the queue.
Then the cunt who’s been let in will let someone else in.
😡
They don’t consider that certain people behind are both impatient and extremely selfish…
13
I love doing that, especially when the impatient bloke behind insists on driving so close you can practically smell his B.O.. Gives me a lovely warm tingle in the nether regions if they blow their horn in frustration and just encourages me to let more in. All the better if its a bus at rush hour or school pick up / drop off that you know will block the road ahead at every stop.
12
You said ‘Blow your horn” he, he, fnarr, fnarr.
2
Most of the public are imbeciles so most drivers will also be imbeciles. The only way is to stay away from them. Survivalists have the right idea. Big hunting knives, crossbows, automatic rifles, machetes, grenades, Kendal Mint Cake…
Good afternoon, everyone.
8
Afternoon 20, all.
I concur.
It occurred to me today that if at lest 50% of the population were to disappear overnight that no one would notice or care andvtge world would be a better place.
Age restrictions on driving should apply at both ends of life. 70 should be the upper limit, 23 the lower.
Drink driving should be minimum 5 year ban, no if nor buts.
Racing, donuts or any other kind of mong behaviour should be 5 year ban.
Loud stereo, exhausts louder than a 747, jet black tints, twattish number plates etc, 5 year ban.
BMW or clapped out Merc? Lifetime ban.
3
Hey, Watch it Termy! I’m 73.
Agree with you about penalty for drink driving; never done it, never will.
And if you are in a hurry I’ll give way to you. Now I’m retired I’ve got all day and someone could be in a hurry for a good reason.
2
Sorry arfur, no exceptions 🤪
2
OI you young shaver a bit more ‘spect for your elders and betters. There is no upper or lower age limit on being a twat. Ether you is or you ain’t .To paraphrase “you’ll have to take the keys from my dead hands.”
0
My favourite is the approach to a roundabout, lorry in the right lane goes car in the left just sits there..
Whatever is coming is stopped by the slow moving lorry you dithering fuckwit.
9
Depends on the size if the rig and roundabout Baz, these pollak drivers don’t seem to care much about anything that’s not 1 metre in front of them.
3
And brake stompers, just lift your foot off the accelerator your car will slow down.
There is no need to apply that much pressure, its a brake pedal not fentanyl George’s neck.
7
Several hundred yards from a junction in stationary traffic and in a lane where all you can do is turn right – with their foot on the brake and right hand indicator going, back of their car lit up dazzling you.
Indicating right on roundabouts when turning left.
Steaming up the overtaking lane behind you, obviously breaking the speed limit, then overtaking on the merge in hatchlings, cut in front between you and the car ahead and then slam their brakes on.
Comfort brakers …brake…brake…brake…brake…
Brakes come on at top of hill and stay on.
Pulling out in front of you when your doing 50, forcing you to brake, and then driving at 40.
Changing lanes suddenly without indicating because the other lane is moving slightly faster.
Driving past wide spots and then wedging their vehicle beside you then leaving you to sort their mess out while they just sit there.
Blind panic at the sight of an ambulance or police car – failing to see an ambulance or police car despite flashing lights and sirens.
Driving at 40 and then put their foot down when you’re alongside attempting to get by.
6
I know I’d be an excellent drive, so as not to show you all up, I’ll stick to cycling instead.
5
I’m a brilliant driver.
Easily in the top 3% in the country.
I can drive with my eyes shut.
And often do.
Women are rubbish drivers aren’t they?
Women and wøgs.
4
The Oriental are the worst. Sitting on three cushions and still barely able to see through the windscreen.
How can they possibly have proper control of the urban tanks they invariably drive?
4
I once pulled up next to a Volvo estate, genuinely thought there was nobody driving it. A serious peering uncovered a tiny woman who was looking through the gap between the top of the dashboard and the steering wheel. Fuck alone knows how she could see anything.
3
White van drivers are amongst the worst.
Er…. is your van white Mis?
4
It’s probably got more dents than a Jamaicans steel drum.
7
You know it is you cheeky monkey.😁
5
In my opinion Mis, women are wonderful drivers, its the woe betides you have to be careful about, especially the twats are likely to have stolen the cars.
3
The headliner around around my rear view mirror is covered in lipstick as my missus thinks it’s there to assist with her lippy only – when in motion.
4
A perfect example is when I’m driving down a single-carriage A road at 60mph and some cunt on a side road to the left pulls out onto main road and turns left at an inopportune moment (as if in a hurry), forces me to slam on my brakes but then proceeds to drive at 40 or 45 in a 60.. so clearly not in a hurry… just a cunt.
5
Cunts who begin to slow down for no apparent reason, getting slower and slower then eventually pull into a turn lane to make a turn. Slowing down for the actual turn is what the fucking turn lane is for, you muppet.
While it should be commendable to see an American driver actually use a turn signal, it does wind me up when some cunts turn on their indicator AFTER they’ve moved into a turn lane. Changing lanes from the main drag into a (for example) left only turn lane is fine….we all know you’re going to turn left…..but no, wait for it….yep…there goes their left turn signal. We’ve figured it out at that point you cunt! Did you bother to let us know you intended to move into the turn lane? Of course not. You utter, utter, fuck-brained cunt.
5
When I was working on site at BP in Sunbury for a while IY, I was asked to do a CBT driving course although I never drove their vehicles. The course had been brought in from the States with no alterations at all. In the test at the end I had to keep in mind that Americans drive on the wrong side of the road in order to enter the answer which would give me a pass. I noticed that where in the UK the mantra is “mirror, signal, manoeuvre” the Americans apparently use “signal, mirror, manoeuvre”. Seemed a bit odd to me but I guess it’s better than performing the manoeuvre first. Also strikes me that when you see aerial video of major multi-lane roads in American cities each lane has a wide black stripe down its centre. Do American drivers never change lane?
2
The wife’s a ‘running commentary’ driver. She holds this one-sided conversation with every other driver in the vicinity;
‘Don’t indicate mate, of course I knew you were going to pull out in front of me… why are you going along at ten miles an hour, are you looking for a place to have an accident…that’s right pal, you get right into my boot, if I hit the brake you’re screwed… that’s it, park up on the double yellow with your hazards flashing you twat…’ etc.
It’s me that actually has to listen of course. To be fair, she’s a very good driver, bless her.
Afternoon all.
7
Admit it Ron, she’s only saying out loud what you’re thinking.
5
Too right JP; of course it’s the ‘saying out loud’ bit that’s the difference!
As for her views on cyclists, well, I can’t repeat her comments in case they might bruise the sensibilities of the more delicate souls on here…
4
The right indicator when merging from a slip road onto the main carriageway.
No, it does not mean “make way for me” you utter twat!
6
The word merge seems to have been lost from some drivers vocabulary
5
This is an American classic too.
Main highway with 60 to 70+ MPH traffic and some bellend rocks up on the slip road to merge. Do they slow down to wait for a gap in the inside lane? Nope. Do they speed up to grab the gap in front of the car in the inside lane? Nope. Do they even signal as a way to politely ask to be let in? Of course not. It’s the old ‘I’m here now so you can just brake to let me in because I’m more important’. Fuck you.
The state driving manual is quite clear on this point. Merging traffic has to YIELD to vehicles already on the higher speed highway. The highway traffic is not obligated to accommodate merging traffic due to….you know….the speed they’re travelling.
Utter, utter, incompetent dangerous cunts!
4
Soots, Asians and women…. And not forgetting old farts (especially women) who should no longer be on the road.
Most van drivers are fine, just some (no names) who drive like cunts give them a bad press.
4
The old biddy in a Micra, seems to think it needs the same sized gap as a bin lorry, when passing parked cars ( 1mph)!
4
(at 1mph)*
2
Women and teenagers reverse parking, or rather going forwards and backwards at a 60° angle and continuously ramping the kerb.
KerB. With a B. My missus is in her 50’s and I had to tell her that it’s not called a curve.
3
I used to have a 1L Micra, great little car, like a go kart, brilliant round town.
4
Our elder ran a Mk1 Ka for years Moggie. Tremendous fun on good tyres, didn’t have to slow down for the corners. Made up for the lack of power.
3
Wimminz.
Old couples, “just going for a nice drive to the shop”, then once there, proceed to block the aisles while staring vacantly, mouth agape at the shelves. Logans Run NOW.
Wimminz.
Lazy fucks who can’t be arsed to walk 200 yards.
Tightwads who cruise around for 40 minutes looking for a free spot rather than pay 2 quid to use a car park.
Wimminz.
Multiple vehicle families taking up any remaining spaces for days on end.
In fact, I could have just said ‘wimminz’ and be done with it, they fit into every category as it is.
6
I’ve been a passenger with some poor women drivers Poots. One who drove far enough out in the road so that she could observe the nearside kerb through the front passenger’s window. Another who was head of the queue in the right-hand lane at the lights and when the lights turned to green simply switched on the right indicator and sat there. Then again I’ve been out with some terrible male drivers. We had two women instructors at the flying club, which is two more than most clubs have and both were very competent drivers. Then again both were ATPLs who flew twin-aisle jets for a living and I guess if you’re in charge of 300 tons at 600 knots seven miles high or taxiing on the ground with a 180ft wing span you need to have a tight grip. Perhaps the best driver with whom I was once a passenger was a young woman on the Met police who drove me across the suburbs of north London in the early hours at some speed. I felt as safe and comfortable as if I was sitting on the sofa at home.
5
In supermarkets I find it’s the old farts, like they’ve never seen a supermarket before.
4
Dunno about anyone else, but whenever I get out the van after driving I’m sort of expecting someone to shower me in champagne and hand me a trophy 🏆 to hold aloft?
Always slightly disappointed when it doesn’t happen..
5
You turning duckie like Lewis Hamilton sweetie pie?
5
Top Five Cunts On Roads:
5 – stoners
4 – Chînkchillas
3 – Farmers
2 – Nigerîans
1 – Pakîstankis
5
You missed the JSO cunts captain.
4
Indians too, and I don’t mean native American types either. we saw how bad the driving of the Gupta was in Canada. Fucking hell the CMP where raking it in pulling them over and finding them. Cunts, the Gupta’s not CMP.
4
Yes, bastard tractors. Farmer Giles just fancied a spin at rush-hour.
1
And fckn caravans.
2
I used to get wound up at farmers, but given what Rachel Thieves and friends from accounts are doing, I give ’em the benefit of the doubt. No farmers = no food for most of us.
Plus I have a nice car, so I can just bang some choons on and enjoy where I’m sitting.
5
finning*
2
Try again lolol
1
I’m one degree left of Max Verstappen behind the wheel of a car, me. In fact, I blind most other drivers on the road with my sheer brilliance.
If I were the Minister of Transport, here is my vision for Cuntis_Cuntis’ Britain.
The following groups would be banned from the roads in Cuntis’ Britain: Peacefuls, Tree Swingers (Peacefuls and Tree Swingers in Toyotas and Kias would immediately be put into correctional faciltiies for life); women, old women driving White Goods, Yummy Mummies driving SUVs on the school run would also be banned from taking to the roads.
I’d have anyone driving below 50mph in a 30 shot. The same goes for those who do less than 70 in a 50. The speed limit on motorways would be at least 110mph. Speedlimits on motorways are to be completely abolished. Nobody sticks to them anyway. By getting rid, it’s the sign of an open and more trustworthy society as we’re all in on it.
If you fail your driving test more than twice, you’re not allowed to drive as you’ve demonstrated you can’t be trusted and are weak. If you can’t display basic driving skills and motor functions, it’s your fault you’re condemned to a life of public transport. The disabled are exempt here. What do you think I am? A monster?
Nice Vehicle Mandates or NDMs. Nobody likes to look at dreary old shite on the roads. You know, basically all Vauxhalls, Toyota Avensises, Hyundai i10s, etc… carmakers will be incentivised by the government to produce good looking cars that make you go PHWOAR! It doesn’t matter if it’s petrol, diesel, or electric. This aesthetic driven approach will make society happier, and encourage carmakers to get their fingers out.
A ban on ‘Diversity Spec’ vehicles. We all know our friends from diverse communities enjoy certain vehicles. Said communities have also given the car I drive, a VW Golf GTI, a bad name. In fact, it’s become somewhat synonymous with Kebab Shop types. Any diversity caught buying a Volkswagen, a BMW, an Audi, a Mercedes – or any other brand they like ruining for us more discerning car enthusiasts – will be deported back to their place of origin. Any money they have parted with will be spent on fixing roads and improving public EV infrastructure.
Do I have your vote?
4
Definitely Cuntis! Nigel for PM and Cuntis in charge of transport.
Bring it on!
4
We can all drive EV gay-mobiles like the new Jag, or J.
3
Moggie, I’m in the minority on here when I say there’s nothing wrong with EVs.
Some of them – Polestar, BMW, Hyundai. VW, and KIA to name a handful – are properly good cars.
Have you driven one?
0
Sorry, fellow cunters. I got quite enthusiastic with my five-point plan for Britain’s roads.
Take this part out: “Speedlimits on motorways are to be completely abolished.” I already stated that it should be a minimum of 110mph.
4
I hate cunts that are approaching a crossroad at speed and never fully slow down. They are far to busy looking at the far side of the road for the clearance and then at the last second they eventually turn thei thick cnt head around and look in your direction realise the oncoming traffic on their nearside. Slam of the brakes but
Too many times this shit happens with to many familiar fkn idiot drivers.
1
Agree. Even worse are twats on side roads that brake, giving the impression they are going to stop, then pull out dangerously late. Wankers.
3
Coincidental with this nom, just been talking to our elder whose a hospital doctor in Devon. Today a man brought in his wife who he had managed to run over in the car in the supermarket car park. It’s quite nasty I’m afraid, she has broken bones.
4
Sorry, that’s fucking hilarious! 😂
How in merry jumping fuck do you manage to accidentally run down your own spouse?!
I’ve just backwashed laughing.
0
O/T, an insight into the spawn of the Blair Creature..!
https://youtu.be/TuLJTWKsYo4?si=WjD_2RoT8Y7TiwuX
2
Anyone driving a sports car is a embarrassment
I blush when I see them on the roads.
Hey! Hey! Look at Me! I’m wealthy! Look!
I once saw some fuckin old fossil in a Porsche wearing a Porsche baseball cap and a big grin on his face driving in Cheshire.
Cunt must of been in his 80s.
I nearly crashed from laughing.
He should of been put in a care home.
Clearly not a full shilling.
4
I always fancied a 70’s 911 Carrera GT. Being a fat cunt I’d never get into one.
1
I’ve never liked any sports car.
Useless.👎
The only vehicle I’ve genuinely been a bit jealous of was a fellow cunter on here.
He had a Scammell 6wheel lorry (pioneer? Explorer?) it was fuckin ace!
And while back a bloke in a hundred year old ford horrid with Firestone whitewall tyres.
Beautiful ❤️
0
Alright MNC. Having a good start to this year?
I’m with you about sports cars. I couldn’t give a shit. They’re too attention seeking, and I’ll never be able to afford one. What’s the point in getting excited about that?
And those who drive ’em tend to look like knobbers. Same for those cunts who go mincing around Cheshire (or any other ‘Shire) in their Range Rovers.
A Volkswagen Passat 2.0 TDI/equally worthy workhorse estate or a good panel van tho? Now THAT gives me the automotive horn, my ol’ fruit.
Wasn’t allowed either of the above by the other half.
1
Hello CC👍
Naw, lifes grinding me into the pavement ☹️
My dad’s poorly, not much work but plenty of bills,
Like a twat I put the wrong fuel in the van and had to have it drained, new filters etc☹️
But mustn’t grumble 😁
Sports cars are pointless,
I couldn’t fit in one! I’d have to rip the roof off and seats out
Can’t get your shopping in it,
Can’t go the tip in it,
Expensive parts,
Coppers like pulling them for speeding,
They’re for knobheads.
How’s life in Buxton?
0