I have to say, right up front, that I smoke and have for over 50 years. No lectures, please.
MPs have backed plans to make it illegal for 15 year old, or under, children to buy cigarettes. Big wow! I thought it already was.
Let’s move on.
The previous Government were moving legislation through to gradually increase the age people could legally buy tobacco products from 16. The current Government has decided to take up the ball and run with it.
Health Secretary, Wes Streeting, argued the Bill would reduce pressure on the NHS.
” Smokers are more likely to need NHS services, be admitted to hospital, drop out of the workforce and onto Welfare, and need Social care years earlier than if they didn’t smoke”
What a sweeping generalisation, totally without any kind of reports, studies or statistics.
Where the fuck is his proof that smokers are “more likely” to do any of the things he generalised about.
As I said, I’m a long term smoker.
I have never been admitted to hospital for a smoking related illness.
I have never dropped out of the workforce, unless taking early retirement counts.
I’ve never been on ‘welfare’
At 70, I still don’t need social care.
The legislation is also pushing through the issue of stopping teen vaping, which I think is ironic as vaping was heralded as the new way to stop smoking, not that long ago.
All this throws up loads of questions about what happens if everyone stops using tobacco, not the least where the replacement revenue, levied by the Government, will come from?
Vapes, oh silly me, there’s a crack down on them, too.
What about the cotton producers and workers? Will they be ‘welcome here”, as we have taken away their livelihood?
Anyway, I’m off for a fag ( outdoors, in the Tikki Hut)
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
My dad started smoking when he was 8yrs old.
He’s 78 now.
I stopped smoking about 5yrs ago using a vape.
It wasn’t my worst habit.
Which is masturbating in public.
If you smoke or vape it’s nobodies business but yours.
This government likes to micro manage people.
Fuck em.
29
“My worst habit”
Had me laughing out loud.
9
We all wait with bated breath to learn the worst habit of Thomas.
8
Hope it’s not masturbated breath Guzzi.
1
Morning JP/all.
Did you know that there’s a completely legal alternative to tobacco?
It’s called Damiana and is essentially a relative of the rasberry plant.
You can buy the leaves (which smoke like tobacco) for about six quid for 100g.
All legal and above board and you’d save yourself hundreds of quid a year.
13
Smoking raspberries will turn you fruity.
16
I may have mentioned before that I once had a raspberry growing out my bottom – the witch doctor gave me some cream for it.
🍓
14
And a lettuce leaf poking out the top of the knickers, tip of the iceberg. Baddum tish.
10
Great nom.
What is it with fucking Labour wankers? Anti fucking everything. Anit-cars, anti-drink, anti-smoking, anti-weather, anti-cow’s farting, and now anti-elections (that didn’t take long) and, of course, anti-turkeys – just cos its Christmas. About the only things they seem to be for are fucking euthanasia, and bummage, Who the fuck fucking well voted for the fuckers? I have yet to find anyone who will admit to it. Cunts.
Good morning, everyone.
28
Labour are total cunts, the cunts that vote for the cunts are even more cunts.
Good morning.
18
Politicians are trying to save us from ourselves; I’d rather be saved from politicians.
18
I smoke. Aside from the ridiculous expense, I enjoy it and don’t care what others do or do not think about my dirty habit (it is dirty, I’ll concede that).
I don’t think it is good for you. On the other hand, I don’t believe it is anywhere near as bad for you as the Gov and various bedwetters would have you believe.
There are proven benefits to using nicotine, including a significant lowering of the risk of Alzeimer’s, Parkinson’s. various other neurological afflictions, increased creativity and problem solving skills and stress reduction.
I have known 4 people that have died of lung cancer, and none of them smoked, ever. My own father died of a heart attack and also never smoked.
Yet their death’s were all recorded as “smoking related”, as all such deaths are, regardless of the deceased smoking status.
I’ve also known several men that have smoked liked troopers since childhood and gone on to live well into their 80’s and even 90’s in one case.
The Gov would be far better served concerningnitself with all the shit that is added to what passes for food nowadays, and the toxic chemicals that are either leeching into, or are deliberately added to the water supply.
One could give up sex, drinking and smoking. One will not live longer, it will just feel like it.
10
In a flimsy attempt to distract from their corruption,cowardice and general fucking uselessness politicians like rules.
Lots of em,everywhere and as many more as they can dream up whilst not sucking the balls of Yellow Spies.
They also love ever expanding overreach,Big Government and controlling behaviour wherever possible.Cant help themselves,the hopeless cunts.
The Grey Men (or just as likely ethnic wimmin) simply don’t like us thinking for ourselves…its bad for us you see.
Ragheads desecrating war memorials is fine,men pretending to be wimmin at the baths is fine,importing monkeypox from Africa is fine..
But fancy a pint?
Mars Bar?
Silk Cut?
Fuck off you’re destroying “Our NHS”..
Barrel of shite.
Good morning.
29
Morning Tez, all.
It’s not my NHS, it’s a load of very expensive shite and, as all things politicians get involved with, NOTHING like it was intended to be.
Government bansturbators should have a few pints and a Capstain Full Strength, and lay off individual choice.
7
I am surprised Kweer’s boy Wesley cites health reasons when he lives a very unhealthy lifestyle himself – partying all night, then a quick trip back to his room to fix his makeup. Anyway, who can take an effeminate homosexual wearing lipstick seriously?
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14194669/Wes-Streeting-smells-blood-plans-topple-dud-Keir-Starmer-Westminster-insiders-claim-one-personal-issue-spurred-ambition-PM.html
7
Spermed his ambition more like.
4
The Government are stupid, economically illiterate cunts.
They’ve got this arse about tit, as usual.
The reason they had that imaginary £22 billion black hole is because too many otherwise patriotic UK citizens have stopped smoking!
Aided and abetted by successive nanny state governments and so called “health” professionals.
With their authoritarian laws prohibiting smoking in public places, etc.
Fuck them.
We need to get Britain smoking again!
The tax on the average smoker of 20 tabs a day is approximately £3,400 per year.
Multiply that £3,400 by a population of 70 million and you get a tax take of £238,000,000,000,
That’s two hundred and thirty-eight BILLION fucking pounds…
Year in! Year out!
They could even afford to reinstate the pensioners winter fuel allowance.
Cunts who smoke tend to die earlier, so less of a burden on our wasteful, overstretched NHS.
Not to mention saving the government a bundle on state pensions!
Smoking tabs is a win-win situation for everyone.
To paraphrase the Donald:
MBSA
Make Britain Smoke Again!
12
All but 35p of that £238bn would go abroad to save the planet.
12
A lot more people smoke than is actually claimed.
As the figures are collected via legal cigarette sales and self-reporting, they are worse than useless.
None of my smoking acquaintances nor myself buy cigarettes with duty on them.
I refer the Gov to the Laffer Curve.
6
It is evident from Rachel from Complaints’ budget that she’s never heard of the Laffer Curve.
3
Laughing stock more like GT.
2
OT, but just received a special xmas card …
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clyx4rgmml4o
🤢🤮🤮🤮
8
Forgot these cunts existed, thanks a fucking bunch.
7
You`re just jealous.
4
Well I still have my H & M Royal Wedding Callender from 2018, of which I am extreamly proud of.
5
You really are a very naughty piccaninny.
7
Was there an invoice attached for you to pay?
8
I doubt they need many cards to send to “friends and family”. It reminds me of Gordon Brown’s one joke: he said at the first Labour conference after their 1997 election Mandy Mandelson asked to borrow 10 pence to phone a friend. GB says he gave him 20 pence and said “phone them all”.
10
@sam…I got one it was used as emergency bog paper unfortunately it blocked the 🚽….the pair of 💩s …😩
4
Hey!
I didn’t get a Kwanzaa card from the Markles of Montecito.
Oh well. No matter. By this time next year Trump will have deported them along with all the other illegals.
10
Does this mean anyone buying these products for someone that can no longer, be acting illegaly, just as if they were purchasing alcohol for a minor? Will they be treated in the same way? A bit strange though, in time to come, being asked outside a shop, by someone in their forties for any of these “banned items.”
9
If you are white, a taxpayer or a pensioner this government of cunts are a hazard to your health.
I’m not taking health tips from a smooth faced cock smoker like streaking.
16
Willpower is all it needs and I fortunately have it in abundance. Smoking, drinking and anything that’s harmful to me I dismiss without a problem. I’ve now stopped eating and drinking foods that could be harmful to my longevity I possibly can.
5
Couldn’t do anything about having rheumatoid arthritis and old age creeping up on me unfortunately.
5
Accidentally finding isacunt has been helpful also, letting me know who to avoid in government and entertainment nonentities I can dismiss with simple ignorance. Just doing ones own thing is simplicity in its self.
4
There is more to life than trying simply to extend it Sammy.
Sound boring AF, but up to you.
6
Laughing my arse off at you lot now I’m 80 is good enough.
7
Smokers are not a burden on the NHS.
It’s a myth that they die younger than non smokers.
I once worked for one of the big insurance/assurance companies.
The premiums for smokers on life assurance was higher than for non smokers, but the premium for pension plans was not lower.
Why not?
Allegedly they will not be around too long to claim a pension so they should get a better deal.
They obviously are not more likely to drop out of the work force as it would be rather difficult to afford fags at £17 a packet if you are not working.
It’s not particularly your present government, there has been a war on smokers for a long time.
The way I see it is that if the Labour government want to ever get voted in again they should start doing things that make people happy and stop passing laws that restrict or criminalise ordinary people.
7
You need to pack up with this independent, sensible thinking AC, you’re gonna get arrested.
2
Never smoked, never wanted to…but I don’t begrudge anyone who wants to spend their money how they want….save the NHS ⚕️👨⚕️🩻 yep it wants saving from all the dei hires and top end management jobs that proliferative the whole organisation…smoke this sweeting 💩 👍
9
Smokers, whilst providing the…’government(?)…with £billions in revenue are ostracised as stinking piles of filth who over stress the NHS with their disgusting habit.
Meanwhile, stinking piles of filth arriving daily across the channel who contribute fuck all to the NHS are provided free health care (amongst other things) and are welcomed, along with their disgusting habits.
16
It’s also worth noting that all these “health” bans and restrictions will greatly stimulate tobacco and vape smuggling,very likely the smugglers will be very undesirable foreign cunts from exotic lands like Albania and Bulgaria.
Gang “turf wars” in this soon multi billion pound racket will make for very vibrant scenes in most cities A&E departments.
Sasha Johnson’s House party on steroids.
10
Leaving aside questions of health and longevity, smoking costs a fortune and it stinks. Why bother?
7
I stopped 15 years ago. No way could I afford it now.
6
Streeting said “this bill will come down on the vaping industry like a ton of bricks”.
Not the illegal gimmigrant industry then?
Or the grooming gang industry?
Its just a distraction, a bullshit piece of legislation like banning junk food adverts until after the watershed or shrinking pints in pubs because Nanny-in-chief Streeting knows best.
11
I’ve just looked up tiki huts after JP mentioned his.
I’m quite envious actually, looks great for those balmy summer nights that Sheffield is noted for.
7
It’s a little partially enclosed, roofed construction I have in my garden, LL. Lovely to sit out in hot weather as it’s shaded.
I smoke out there, can’t be doing with stale ciggie smell in the house.
I know, I’m a mass of contradictions.
4
They’re gazebo’s for coconut crabs.
4
The NHS is on its knees (what a fucking stupid description), more and more money going in but it doesn’t get any better.
Is it because of smoking, answer no because it’s on the decline, maybe look at all the fucking disease riddled dependents of the filthy cousin marrying cunts we have imported for decades.
Introduce a bill to deport any foreign cunt who has never worked in the UK, that will ‘save the NHS’
9
One of the simplest pleasures in life is a load of ale and a pack of fags. A cigar with a good bottle of red and/or a couple of whiskeys is fantastic.
Learning to smoke should be a rite of passage for teenagers. The government should encourage it.
12
Dirty Ange popped her cherry and had her first fag behind the bike sheds at school, both within five minutes of each other.
6
I blame my pet Beagle for getting me started when I was a kid.
Strange little thing he was, electrodes everywhere.
Died of a drug overdose.
6
Not even in the top ten of Britain’s big-picture problems, but this is the type of shit the politician cunts hone-in on.
It brings to mind that urge I’ve gotten every time I’ve ever fallen foul of some fucking tit head that’s pulled me over for speeding .. the urge (as the cunt writes the ticket) to say “Congratulations, by the way”.
To which the cunt would have to ask ‘for what?”
“Well, .. for having all the rapists, gang members, wife-beaters, kiddie-fiddlers, bank robbers etc. behind bars. I mean, in order to be able to afford the time to sit in an unmarked car fining fuckers for being a bit above the stated limit on an empty road, .. then ye MUST have all those other premeditated criminals I mentioned taken care of, right?”
Never DID it, though. A main reason being, the shameless cunts don’t have an ounce of humility/shame/care ABOUT the bigger picture, the cunts ..
9
You did remind me, Cuntemall, that the films I watched in the cinema after the smoking ban, were the first in High Definition.
5
Occasionally I’ll get the tail end of someone’s cigarette smoke,
And I want one.
Don’t like, but for a second.
When you’re really stressed out nothing helps more than a cigarette.
And I feel sorry for people sentenced to death by firing squads.
No more last cigarettes.
They blindfold them and put a Nicorette patch on em.
Doubt that helps.
7
Like getting a falafel wrap for your last meal on death row.
6
A salad!😀
Fuckin ell. A salad for your last meal.
Just take me down I’m ready to go.
Aren’t you going to eat your salad?
No point. Luckily I’ll be dead within the hour.
4
Didn’t give the Nicolette patch time to work, Mis. Didn’t they sympathise by wounding them instead ?
3
Nicotine patches don’t work. They taste like shit as well.
4
Remember school-years smoking etiquette? ..
“Last drag on that?”
‘OK’
“Don’t leave a ducks arse on it!”
5
“Twos!”
3
After the war my penniless parents sent my youngest sister late at night to pick dimps from the top decks of buses, whilst my brother and myself waited with cigarette roller and papers at the ready to make the fag ends into cigarettes again, minus the lipstick and contagious attachments. Otherwise our parents would have to smoke tea. Often wondered whether tea tasted better smoked than drank.
6
If more parents sent the kids out picking up dimps the world would be a better place.
Also send them out with little chisels to collect chewing gum stuck to the underside of tables, benches etc.
For parents who’ve recently given up smoking.
4
Sniffing the crutch of used knickers is my only guilty pleasure these days.
3
More fucking interference with people’s lives. Fuck the Bill fuck the government and carry on regardless.
7
It’s a good thing the Tories got voted out of office so your government could deal with Britain’s real problems.
9
The Tobacco and Vapes bill was a Tory policy that Labour inherited.
5
That’s a bit misleading.
While Fishy Rishi’s government did indeed originally propose it, the Tories did not vote on it and the Bill died.
2TK’s government brought it back to life and passed it.
What I read said they didn’t so much inherit it as they did revive it.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cx2lwjrdj1lo
9
That’s a bit misleading.
Parliament was unable to pass the Tory legislation because time had run out due to a general election being called.
Had the legislation had time to reach its final stages, it would have passed easily.
Both Tory MPs and Labour MPs were in favour of the bill then, just as they are now.
7
Still it never passed.
And I’m not sure your statement about passing is accurate as the story shows more Tories voted against the Bill than for it.
Granted the numbers and margins are different now but still the bottom line is as I’ve said before…
There’s not an issue the Tories fucked up that Labour won’t make worse.
14
Spot on General.
The bottom line here is that there is No Opposition in our so called Parliament.
They are just different cheeks of the same arse. It matters not if the ‘Government’ has a majority of 4 or 400.
All 600 of the mainstream party MPs are sheep who are programmed to do as their handles require. Not a fag paper between them in terms of original thinking.
1
Smoked myself for fifteen years, and it doesn’t bother me one bit if other people smoke.
And the quacks always like to blame everything on smoking. When some Crippen ass you ‘Do you smoke?” And their face when you say no.
Crippens like to pontificate about the ‘evil weed’. I told one quack that I smoked years ago, but gave it up. So, he blamed my current/permanent condition on my previous smoking habit. I told him to sod off, and that my left kidney was smashed in when I was ten years old (true) and I pissed pure blood.. The fuckers like to blame every ailment of drink or baccy.
4
Crippen asks you ‘Do you smoke?” And their face when you say no.
5
I’m full of don’ts, Norman. On my next visit to the doctor, l shall be fully armed.
4
Yet another great nom from It SACs. leading writer👍
The ISAC Pulitzer prize is within JPs reach!
6
If you win you are allowed to comment on the nominations page without fear of being sent to IsAC jail.
3
Yes.
Yes you are.
It gives you immunity from prosecution,
You can break any of the rules without fear.
Sort of like 007 s licence to kill.
3
Wonder where my porridge nom is?
Bet it’s been nicked by World in Action or panorama?!!
PorridgeGate.
3
I see a few contributors have written about their relatives and friends who survived smoking all their lives.
Well smoking killed my grandfather. He was popping across the street to the tab shop for 20 Woodbines and got run over.
6
Capstan Navy Cut – lovely.
2