Many great things have come out of the US over the years. Rock & Roll music, the beer drinking hat and Donald Trump to name three but festering cat faeces Batman, what the fuckty fuck is spray cheese all about?
The cheese comes in a spray can but is not an aerosol. It squirts out like an oily greasy orange coloured dog turd, with a thick viscous quality sticking to everything like shit to a blanket as the brave or the foolish apply it to their food. It seems a very American thing too, instant readily available and convenient, like going to the fridge to slice some proper cheese is a chore as they squirt away with something cooked up from the devils anus.
Soldiers fighting foreign wars or students studying abroad often get sent food parcels from home with their favourite comfort food in them. Imagine getting sent this abomination? I’d be lobbing it back at the towelheads in Shitholistan along with the RPG’s.
I haven’t actually tried it myself so some input from the General or any other US based cunters would be handy to confirm or refute my slurs on an American food icon.
Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.
Absolutely brilliant, perfect for making Cheesy Peas, take some peas and spray on the cheese, brilliant!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-SGszxSxMw
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
11
Squirty cheese is ok for Americans.
But it doesn’t suit a refined Englishmans palate.
I expect they’re quite happy squirting neon yellow shite all over a beefburger or “fries’?
May as well put it in a bucket for them.
But for David Niven types like myself a matured red Leicester cut with a solid silver cheese knife and a artisan Jacobs cream cracker is a nice treat.
11
To my shame, considering where I live, it’s only been a couple of years since I tried a ‘proper’ Red Leicester and the difference between it and a supermarket standard is staggering. Nowhere near as much oil for a start, and it’s a lovely strong cheese.
8
How terribly uncouth, Do you not have a cheese wire?
4
He has but he prefers to avoid it after he’s used it to deal with the latest useless and/or disgruntled employee.
3
If Willy Gates really wants to control the worlds food supply and have us all to eat shit from his scum bug factories, then he doesn’t need to be in a hurry for the USA market,
Half will have happily poisoned themselves to cancer and death long before.
Kellogg’s crickets for the rest of though.
8
Kellogs Lice Krispies?
Snap, crackle and hiss.
6
I bet those hopeless blek cunts on that french desert island that got levelled by a cyclone would like some..
After all,it would make better cement for their fetid shanty town hovels than the shite they used before.
“Cheese in a can solving third world pantos”.
Splendid.
8
On the header pic the tube of squirty cheese has a pretzel on it?
Assuming it’s suggesting you squirt the shite all over a pretzel?
Pretzels are fucking rubbish.
Like fuckin coat hangers or something.
You’ve got to have a fucked up mind to want a pretzel with that shite sprayed on it.
7
Although ‘Pretzel Logic’ is a fine album, MNC.
7
Sounds brilliant. It could be used as a substitute for crazy foam or plasticine. Imagine waking up with a cheesy full set after your post Christmas dinner snooze. How they would all laugh at silly old gammon grandad.
Alternatively, you could take your can of smeg and wipe it’s nozzle on the towels at the leisure centre swimming pool as part of some Boxing Day high jinks.
9
Did you get me my Chezz Wizz boy
6
of course, Jake had it.
0
Can spray foods are diarrhoea from fat yankie bastards.
5
Been available in th US for years.
Cheese Whizz,
There’s also spray bacon called Bacon Whizz,
6
An if you eat it straight from the can you don’t have any washing up.
It’s not what Donald Trumps hairs made from is it?
6
Oh no, Norman!
Cheez Whizz I can just about understand from Murica, but Bacon Whizz?
That’s absolutely beyond the pale!
1
You see a decent consensus school teacher of kids, would bring a can or two of that shite into the art class and explain to the kids that “this for you’re paper mache projects. Please wash your hands thoroughly after using it”
5
Conscientious school teacher I meant,
fkn yanks even their computers cant spell, ezcept trouble, they never forget how to spell that out
5
Cheap and easy, orange top, full of a gooey liquid, smells of stinky cheese.
Is it a metaphor for Dirty Ange?
12
Perhaps she was the prototype? Or is the end result?
4
I suspect dining out on Angies growler would be safer than eating this stuff.
5
I’d hate to have to be in a position to choose between them.
2
Yes Geordie 👍
1
Got to be extra mature cheddar with pickled onions or Lancashire crumbly with piccalilli 😁 maybe a nice pongy blue with hovis crackers 👍….this liquid 💩 belongs in a window fitters armoury and would probably last longer 🪟…cheese-o-grip the 🌬️ may blow and the 🌧️ may batter your panes but nothing will penetrate cheese-o 🫨
8
Do they add maple syrup?
Oh and your chips are only crisps and your fries are proper chips.
No wonder they are even fatter cunts than us.
8
Your average bloke in the US probably carries a few tins in a saddlebag on his mobility scooter?
You can sit and watch a game of rounders while sucking on a cheese whizz 😀
7
Liquid cheese in a can, we have reached the pinnacle of invention.
Add that to those tethered bottle lids that poke you in nose when you try to take a sip.. our utopia is complete..
Those aliens have nothing to teach us..
7
Off topic
Picture of Nigel Farage meeting Elon musk at Donald’s Mar a largo in the press.
But what caught my eye was the painting behind them!!
A young Donald in cricket whites!
But he looks like Stretch Armstrong!
https://images.app.goo.gl/enGmxNRZUE8wKF6c6
7
I’ve already been in touch to see where I can get one.
2
Is that the same as nacho cheese, which is served with a ladle..
The official measurement of cheese potions should never be one ladle or two.
5
About as appetising as that goo that masquerades as mustard that Americans put on hot dogs.
Afternoon all.
8
Hate that stuff, it’s like a bright yellow vinegar in gel form.
5
Available on e bay £22.81 for three tins? Poke it up Wes Screechings arsehole.
4
In Septic slang it is properly referred to as plastic cheese.
8
A friend of mine from Boston sent me some this year for Christmas. Along with a load of Hoppin’ Frog ale and rye bourbon for my other half.
Trust me, when you’re plastered, squeezy cheese is worth it. As is American Spec Mac ‘n Cheese.
3
“cheese product”, no cheese was harmed in the making of this product.
6
Anyone that buys cheese in a spray can deserves whatever they get.
What the fuck can it be used for?
Spray sandwiches with tomato?
Spray Welsh rarebit?
Spray cheesecake?
Spray it on your crackers?
Spray cauliflower cheese?
These things don’t bear thinking about.
It’s not that hard to buy proper cheese and either cut or grate it.
Fucking horrible idea for food.
7
It started with spray (not) fresh cream, the original I think and that went global in the catering and of course on into home markets.
So plenty more fkn exploits were conceived.
Spray to the Lord at thanksgiving.
You know how they are, not very well, but loaded with shitloads.
3
They make the different types of Irish coffee with spray cream here.
It’s fucking awful.
3
Fly spray? The real stuff doesn’t work flies love it.
2
They should been Oisined of themselves Artful, for serving such Mucka.
2
Its like uht milk, but nobody buys that because its shite.
4
Oh I don’t know Dc, I think UHT milk is okay.
As a dog owner I find it’s a useful alternative to antimate spray.
3
Nice on a Philly cheese steak (wit wizz) onions and cheese whizz.
4
Unless it’s propped Cheddar, nothing else in the cheese world counts.
As for that shite they make in Gloucestershire…….Double Gloucester my gawd that’s Shite, it’s probably worse than the stuff in the nom, only good for throwing down hills, but still the mad twats chase after it. Mental.
I fucking hate Gloucestershire.
2
*proper*
Fucking phone.
1
Squirty cheese? No thanks.K weer can stick a can up his botty hole.
1
Dogs won’t even lick it off your genitals☹️
I accidentally tripped and my pants and undercrackers fell down just as the squeezy cheez triggered
Smothering my well formed reproductive organs.
There was two Rhodesian ridgebacks nearby and I thought
” I know, I’ll let the dogs Clean me up!”
Nothing unsavoury about it!
But they ran off!
Chased them for ages but they got away.
Hard to run with your pants around yer ankles.
This has happened a few times and the dogs never seem interested?
Does any fellow cunters know what they do like?
3
Is that what you put in your police statement when arrested in the car park of the local beauty spot with your shreddies around your ankles?
2
Yes LL,
And I told the judge exactly what happened.
Innocent accident.
But you know what judges are like,
(Judgemental!!)
Think he’d be more understanding wouldn’t you?
Being in the same dogging ring as me.
2
Well browned meat, Mis.
1
Let it cool first eh JP? 😂
2
Indeed.
2
So a sheet of waxed paper to wrap your bit of mouse trap is not good enough. Instead we will have the seas and land fills awash with fuckin’ cheese cans. Brilliant.
“0ooh let’s save the planet” As if there isn’t enough shit littering up the place already
An’ no I am not Greta Thunderpants and you do not claim your Port and Stilton or pass go and get a nice bit of Blue Shropshire.
Evenin’
.
2
RPGs? you don’t like role playing games?
1