Movi-prep

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Guaranteed to lose at least a stone in 24 hrs. C.A.

I would like to cunt a product called Movi-prep, for my fellow cunters who haven’t had the pleasure of this yet I will enlighten you.
Movi-prep is the chemical feast that you are given to clean you out before a colonoscapie.
So it begins with two sets of sachets that you mix into a whole litre of water and then drink, so it’s lemon flavoured slimy shit that makes you want to gag, but if you don’t keep it down, it won’t do it’s job and you can’t have your procedure done.
10 mins into holding this down, the stomach rumbling, gurgling, burping, farting starts, followed a quick carefull skip to the loo, so soon does your arse touch the seat, FUCKING WOOSH, the game begins, the whole world drops out of your arse, stuff I ate in 1985 arrived, you are literally wrung out like a fucking chamois leather, it’s like emptying an old radiator, the slightest move sparks it all off again, on the bog for 3 hours, then you stay close to the loo in the featal position just incase another shit attack is imminent, you can’t sleep just in case.
Day 2, 5 am another litre of Movi-prep, 20 minutes later rinse and repeat, it’s just liquid under pressure at this point, I’m losing the will to live, by now I’m just a costume of a man that can be hung on the back of a door.
The colonoscapie, that in all fairness was a doddle, compared to the fucking prep, once that’s done it’s time to eat, except now you have the fear that your arse may explode at any point, I’m scared to death of a sneeze or steps, or even getting in or out of the car….
Happy Xmass guys, preparation is everything….

Nominated by Fuglyucker.

70 thoughts on “Movi-prep”

  1. Colonic irrigation without the pleasure. What will they spoil next? Princess Diana would not have been impressed.

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  2. Due to a low iron count, I had to have the camera down the throat and up the arse.
    And I had to take that Moviprep shite.

    It’s like a fucking tap that won’t turn off. I was shitting gravy for days.
    When the time came for the colonoscopy, I was still suffering the effects of that satanic laxative. It really is evil shit. It tastes like shit and all.

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      • Nah, Mog. It was two different ones.

        But, the lady at Salford Royal who did the arse camera was well fit. Vey hot indeed.

        So, I was a bit embarrassed, to say the least.

      • Did ya ever see the Phoenix Nights episode where Jerry had to get a colonoscopy?

        Gerry in the foetal position, kex down & the doctor behind him – with camera in hand, aloft says to the nurse ”Ugh, that’s filthy .. would you mind giving it a wipe before I start the procedure?”

        Jerry looks mortified. Nurse produces some tissue paper …. and wipes down the screen of the monitor beside them. ?

      • I’ve had it done and confirm the honourable gentleman’s experience. I was shitting through the eye of a needle.

        I was a bit concerned I might like it lol, but it is truly dreadful, wtf poofters get out of it I’ll never know.

        Exit only.

    • What a delightful nom.
      I am just preparing our Christmas dinner.
      We stuff our guts on Christmas Eve here.

      I am sure that I will enjoy my festive meal even more with the thought of you shitting over six hedges.

      Thank you.

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  3. My wife had it about a year ago. She looked fucking terrible and thought it was going to kill her. I’ve been spared the dubious pleasure.

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  4. Top tip, readers!

    If you are ever unfortunate enough to have to use this stuff, keep the toilet paper in the ‘fridge until needed.

    Your arse will thank you.

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  5. I reckon Dame Kweer uses get to get ready for all the kweer cabinet members cocks which get plunged up his raddled old AIDS arse. That’s why he always looks as if he is about to shit himself.

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  6. I’ve had that done and it was a doddle due to living in poverty. Being spit roasted by cameras wasn’t, but put up with it. Was praised for having one of the cleanest arseholes as it proved on the monitor tv, whilst having my hand held by a gorgeous nurse. The only annoying thing was fainting when told I could leave, due to not eating for two days and they gave me a couple of sandwiches, which was kind of them.

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    • Good idea Norman. Also should be making compulsory for fat cunts to take it regularly and even better there’s most likely to be deaths due to drowning in their own shite.

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    • The old style eye drops had the same effect, or at least they did on my then boss,,,,, we used to call shitting Nick, probably dead now,,,, not my fault

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  8. I’ve had this shit (followed by the effect as described) many a time and agree that the prep is far worse than the procedure.
    My tip would be to mix it up the night before and store it in the fridge, Makes it a little more “palatable”!!!
    Is it available OTC? 10mg of Bisacodyl will have a very similar effect !!
    You have been warned …

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  11. This stuff really is liquid dynamite, as I’ve found to my dismay in the past.

    Whoever came up with it has an absolutely fiendish sense of humour. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that in some cases, its use has resulted in the death of a patient.

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  12. 14 lbs..pah..

    Since this socialist government has come to power everyone apart from public sector workers and backward illegals has lost hundreds of pounds.

    Rodney has been shitting lord alli’s jizz since July..

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  13. Anything to do with the botty is disgusting in my opinion.

    May I remind you all that benders actually enjoy back door shenanigans.

    A cock pounding away in their poop shoot.
    There are also things called rimming and felching.

    A lady’s bottom is a thing of beauty.
    Especially in a tight skirt or grey yoga pants.
    But I still wouldn’t go there.

    I wouldn’t want to rip the young lady apart or to puncture one of her kidneys with my impressive shlong.

    Merry Christmas everyone!

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    • I took a bird home one night in my younger days.

      Ended up in bed. she asked to be careful with her, as she had a dodgy heart.

      I told her to lie on her side and I’d try and miss it ?

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  14. Have had this pleasure myself. Fucking hell on earth.

    One tip. During the colonoscopy check that the doctor doesnt have both hands on you shoulders.

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  18. Despite the well written prose of this well deserved nomination, this is not a topic I care to participate in.

    So I’ll go off topic and send my warmest Season’s Greetings to the whole of the IsaC Faithful.

    Merry Christmas.
    Happy Hanukkah
    Glaed Geol

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  19. At first glance I thought it said movie prep?

    So I thought it was about how can the film business can shoehorn pavement apes and Pàkis into every historical film..

    We wuz everything.. apart from lazy worthless chimps.

    Turns out it was about voiding your bowels.

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  20. Coulda made it through the day without reading that tale of woe. For some reason John Wayne in Hellfighters popped……She’s gonna blow…….enough already.

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  22. Had something similar given to me recently but it was to help me put weight on, not lose it. Back in July the nurse at the medical centre weighed me and I found I’d lost a stone. And I wasn’t heavy to start with.
    Long story short, this month a doctor said he was prescribing me Aymes banana shake as a supplement. After telling him I wasn’t supposed to take potassium, he scrutinized his screen and assured me there was no potassium in it.
    This stuff comes in sachets of powder thar you mix with whole milk. It isn’t easy to get down and it’s very sweet. I read the ingredients on the box, it’s got fucking potassium in it and a high sugar content. I thought, what’s he doing giving me this? I’m already on tablets to reduce my sugar levels.
    On top of everything else, it gave me the shits, so I notified the doctors that it wasn’t suitable and retuned it to the pharmacy. And I’ve heard nothing from them since. Which is nothing new.

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      • I do eat chips. I’ve changed from Flora spread to Lurpak butter, from semi-skimmed to full-fat milk and I’ve started eating nuts which I saw recommended online. I still can’t put on weight. Further recommendations will be gratefully received.

      • You need to do it naturally, Allan.

        Heaty foods like pies, ribs, casseroles, steaks, chops etc.

        chips with gravy and mashed potatoes with a serious wedge of real butter in.

        Having a full English three times a week will also help.

  24. I did a similar product Fugly called Picolax, also in sachet form. Regular, or peppermint, were my two options. Once I had mixed them with the correct amount of water, & waited for something to happen, the next thing was I was shitting through the eye of a needle, for the next 1/2 hour. I just wish this stuff was easily available. Could have a lot of fun with this stuff, especially with the neutral one, as it had no real flavour.

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  25. I had this when I had my ‘roids cut off in October. I was smacked out of my head on opiates for a few days to numb the pain of having an arsehole like a hornet’s nest.

    Given opiates back you up, the medical staff at the hospital gave me something similar to Movi-Prep. I was a HUSK of a man after it worked its magic. “Arse piss” doesn’t even cover it.

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  26. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all the Admins.

    Your site absolutely makes my day.
    Thank you.

    May all your days be merry and bright.

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  27. I’ve just read some cunters testimonials on this stuff and bad as it was for ye, what the absolute holy fuck must it be like for those (species-disgraces)50 or 60 stone bedridden cunts the likes of which need their house half demolished, and industrial cranes to lift them out to the ambulance (or in one case a modified flatbed truck ‘cos the ambulance wouldn’t have coped!) … 4 or 5 times your weight, so 4 or 5 times the dose? .. 4 or 5 times the amount of liquid shit?

    Anyways. Almost Dec 25th as I type. Holding out to see some YouTube footage of the Hamas/IDF Xmas-truce football match by this time tomorrow, god bless us every one.

    Except cunts. ?

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    • *sniff* *sniff* .. just thinking… if someone overdubs McCartney’s ‘Pipes of Peace’ over the match footage on YT, … ?

      Also : will the Rooskies field any of their north Korean brothers in arms for THEIR Xmas-day-truce soccer match against the Ukranians?

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