Guaranteed to lose at least a stone in 24 hrs. C.A.

I would like to cunt a product called Movi-prep, for my fellow cunters who haven’t had the pleasure of this yet I will enlighten you.
Movi-prep is the chemical feast that you are given to clean you out before a colonoscapie.
So it begins with two sets of sachets that you mix into a whole litre of water and then drink, so it’s lemon flavoured slimy shit that makes you want to gag, but if you don’t keep it down, it won’t do it’s job and you can’t have your procedure done.
10 mins into holding this down, the stomach rumbling, gurgling, burping, farting starts, followed a quick carefull skip to the loo, so soon does your arse touch the seat, FUCKING WOOSH, the game begins, the whole world drops out of your arse, stuff I ate in 1985 arrived, you are literally wrung out like a fucking chamois leather, it’s like emptying an old radiator, the slightest move sparks it all off again, on the bog for 3 hours, then you stay close to the loo in the featal position just incase another shit attack is imminent, you can’t sleep just in case.
Day 2, 5 am another litre of Movi-prep, 20 minutes later rinse and repeat, it’s just liquid under pressure at this point, I’m losing the will to live, by now I’m just a costume of a man that can be hung on the back of a door.
The colonoscapie, that in all fairness was a doddle, compared to the fucking prep, once that’s done it’s time to eat, except now you have the fear that your arse may explode at any point, I’m scared to death of a sneeze or steps, or even getting in or out of the car….
Happy Xmass guys, preparation is everything….

Nominated by Fuglyucker.