or, as they now want you to spell their brand “jaGUar” is a cunt.
Though far from being a car fetishist or enthusiast or whatever those daft cunts who have gear for brains and ball bearing grease instead of sperm jizzing out of their bellends call themselves, I have always had a deep respect for the classy & solid design paired with decent material the good old Jags used to stand for.
And if I weren’t the miserable prole cunt I am and could spare a year’s wage for a ride, I should without thinking twice go and get myself some shiny XK8 or even better an 80s XJS and have all the bliss and fun an old cunt could possibly get in this world.
But alas, as if it weren’t enough to visually pollute the landscape with those abominable electric SUVs they started producing some years ago, they have now gone full wokeywank with their new commercial, featuring a pack of morbidly malnourished and pervy looking androids in ridiculous apparel and even more ridiculous slogans that could maybe sell some worthless fashion rags, but certainly not a car. Silly cunts.
Nominated by : Lord Cuntstable Emeritus
Second gear change from Hard Brexit Cunt :
Jaguar used to make getaway motors for villains. Now, it seems from their widely criticised woke advert, that they have diversified (pun intended) into making clobber for trannies, freaks and weirdos who inhabit fetish clubs.
Like virtually all modern adverts, normal white people are conspicuous by their absence. There are a couple of whiteys, but one is distinctly androgynous and the other one looks like a Poundland Iggy Pop tribute act, probably with a penis inserted into its anus. Also conspicuously absent from the advert are cars! Yes, the commodity that Jaguar was famous for making.
Scottish comedian Leo Kearse has brilliantly reviewed it in his latest YouTube video:
Is this Jaguar’s Bud Light moment?
Changing up to third gear is this from TwatVarnish :
Oh Jesus! Yet another bout of woke wankery of gold standard measures…Jaguar Cars.
A once loved British brand, Jaguar has deliberately gone down the skiddy shitpan of inclusive advertising, which has backfired on them. Just the same as the whole Bud Light bollocks, some of these brands never seem to learn that the vast majority of folks, are rightly sick and tired of degeneracy and woke agendas being forced into brands that have fuck all to do with that sort of thing.
Level-headed people want efficient engineering, good styling and impressive machinery, not a collection of freaks mincing around on an advert with their self styled “progressiveness”.
The main problem the way I see it, are these middle-management anus reamers and spotty marketing pricks (usually fresh out of Manbun University) who love a flowery mood board and soya latte session & discuss how to fuck off as many previously loyal Jaguar customers as they can. It must be hard to walk to their vending machines without slipping over on hipster jizz?
Either this is some sort of bad joke, a satire or they’re serious. They’ve even rebranded the well known leaping Jaguar logo with a boring plain font type. Jaguar have turned themselves from a big cat of the Panthera genus into an emaciated limp wristed whelk. What in the hell happened?
Everyone’s assuming that Phaguar are having their ‘Bud Light’ moment, but I’m not so sure.
They’re purposefully targeting the demographic that have ditched Tesla (because of Musk’s direct connection with Trump) and are urban, late 30’s with a high income. You know the sort, some cunt with a carbon fibre bicycle who’s uncapable of negotiating a lightweight futon up a flight of stairs.
Furthermore, they’re not delivering any cars until early 2026 and the final car will look nothing like the cissy concept car; they never do.
Well, except for the Audi TT.
9
Very good call Thomas. Stick another battery in your Allegro and play to win !
5
I agree Thomas.
What has been unveiled, this week, is only a concept car, I guess the Generation Z twats at the BBCUNTS have no idea what that is. However to do the thing in pink just shows that Jaguar have their own bunch of twats.
Good Morning
4
Suckdick Khan to be knighted in the New Year Honours List.
What a country.
7
Oh, fuck me sideways.
This cannot be true!
6
It’ll become official when he is undoubtably nominated on IsAC.
4
My thought exactly JP, although with the level of incompetence displayed by Starmer and his wretched government I guess we shouldn’t be surprised.
4
Well he has increased black on black knife crime.
7
He deserves the cunt of the year award.Full parking Stanley oven.
2
Agree with Mr T. I’m afraid. The new buyers will be the same ones who think that riding about on a kids electric scooter is a good look. Who wear pastel shade clothing, and drink soya milk in tea.
Different times , different values ; and for my money they are shit, but then I won’t have to live them.
I’m sure there are some very clever engineers at Jag making all the really trick ‘leccy stuff work and doing all the geometry ‘cetra, blokes and blockettes you could have a techy conversation with. I wonder what they think of how the product of their hard work is being sold to the public.
As for the sparkly jacketed twat spouting shite I wonder what Lyons would have made of that, or indeed Swallow Sidecars of Blackpool (the SS in Jaguar)
At least it is no longer British ! (but what is?)
G’night
7
Battery powered cars are not a replacement for petrol/diesel driven machines.
They are simply a stop gap, so the likes of the great unwashed.
Can be removed from motor vehicles altogether.
I hope you all like horses, because that’s the ” future” of urban mobility…!
Unless of course you are one of the chosen people….!
https://www.hagerty.com/media/news/the-new-king-of-england-drives-an-aston-martin-running-on-wine-and-cheese/
8
Come 2030 “ordinary people” are not entitled to cars.Only the elite.Also thanks to “15 minute cities” we are stuck to our inclusion zones What a laugh.They all want to be introduced to the gibbet.Shit weasels.
3
Anyone fancy nominating this..
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12671107/Barber-shops-thriving-vanity-young-men.html
2
I have my hair cut by a woman nowadays Doc. The younger male barbers all seem a bit suspect to me and I’m not talking about the ethnic money launderers.
2
Turkish.Jokes.
2
What a heap of shite. I hope the cunts go bankrupt.
4
Andrew Lawrence says that the pink car is what Jimmy Savile is riding about in, in hell.
2
I’ve heard this Jaguar advert referred to as “Faguar”.
3