Uh-huh, `The King` himself.
In January, 1956, Elvis Presley sang …
♪♫ Well, since my baby left me
Well, I found a new place to dwell
Well, it’s down at the end of Lonely Street
At Heartbreak Hotel ♫♪ …
That`s just around the corner from Despair Drive, between Anguish Avenue and Grief Grove.
Utter shite.
Never liked the greasy twat with his Southern drawl and bewilderingly black hair dripping with lard.
And as for his sartorially elegant taste in the aesthetics of interior decoration in that massive fucking `house` Swampland – don`t get me started.
If he was still around today I would venture he`d probably look like this …
So, don those crepe-soled blue suede shoes, cunters and get those suspicious minds working.
Thankyouverymuch.
Sam Beau has left the cunting.
Nominated by Sam Beau.
Let’s not forget that Priscilla was 14 when Elvis met her…
11
She’s not aged well it must be said..
https://www.closerweekly.com/posts/priscilla-presley-plastic-surgery-126052/
7
Lt. Frank Drebin, Police Squad, never had any complaints!
Nice beaver…
Morning UT/all.
16
‘Thank you, I just had it stuffed.’
9
I recently re-watched the Naked Gun films in anticipation of the upcoming, and entirely unnecessary remakes with Liam Neeson as Frank Drebin (is there nothing from my childhood that Hollywood doesn’t want to fuck up?).
It has to be said, that even though she was in her early to mid 40s during the making of those films, Priscilla looked really fucking good and now I remember why my 12 year old self enjoyed watching 33 1/3 at the cinema when it came out.
With regards to her being 14 years old and ten years his junior when he started dating her, her parents were wise enough to make sure she was always chaperoned when she was with him. She alleges to this very day that she didn’t pop her cherry with him until their wedding night when she was 21 so go for her I suppose.
14
She doesn’t look too bad considering that who great lardarse was nobbing her for years.
How appropriate he conked out on the crapper – the ideal way for shits like him and Starmer to leave the world. In the latter case, I am astonished the loud fart the morning after the Lord Mayor’s banquet didn’t do for him.
All Prestley was good for was flashing his plectrum
8
Not bad for 70 mate.
4
50 year old Bill Wyman and 13 year old Mandy Smith.
Ol’ Dirty Baatard.
0
Was walking through Manchester City Centre one day.
And I thought I was tripping or seeing things.
A poster for a Christmas panto. Starring Priscilla Presley and that Star Wars gnome Warwick Davies. Looked well dodgy to me. Like some of Papa Lazarou style freak show.
0
My Grandad used to call him ‘Shitface’. Not a fan. Bit of an embarrassing way to go as well, blowing a gasket whilst sat on the kharzi. Wonder if he was reading ‘Alabama Readers Wives’ and got a bit too excited?
11
Not sure I agree with cunting dead people. Whomever next? Hilter? Noel Coward? Lorenzo the Magnificent? E E Cummings?
Good morning, everyone.
10
Indeed sir,
I’m no fan of Bogislaw IV, Duke of Pomerania for instance.
Good morning.
8
A view shared by his bro, Otto. “A stuck up cunt”, were his exact words.
7
pikeys, gyppos and travellers only play his music now. need I say more?
8
Naah, not having it.
Deffo not a cunt.
15
Nah.Elvis left us a great musical legacy.
1
I too was never a fan.
He was ok in his early years I suppose, but sadly for him he became a caricature of himself during his latter ‘Fat Elvis’ Vegas years.
He didn’t help himself either by making a terrible series of films as well.
Morning all.
11
Morning Ron, all.
5
Hey Ron,
My thoughts exactly.
His early music at Sun Records was brilliant. And truth be told even though I’m not a religious man his Gospel music was awesome.
After that not so much.
Even before his Vegas years his movies were awful and made him a living joke.
Do the fucking Clam?
6
Labour’s Plan for Growth is going well. Two months of GDP contraction just reported, and that’s before Rachel from Complaints’s crackpot budget kicks in.
Thank goodness we have the Elvis Impersonation Industry to keep the economy afloat.
15
That’s just not true. I know because the BBC said everything’s fine.
11
I am sure that daft cunt is deliberately trying to ruin us, and that arsehole Miliband is Plan B just in case her brainless shit doesn’t do the trick. Neither should be in charge of the stationery cupboard let alone (in Reeves case) one of the highest offices of State, as for Miliband he should have fucked off out of public life in 2015 when the public rejected the clodhopping buffoon
11
I genuinely think there is something wrong with him. Autistic? Too many/few chromosomes?
Uncoordinated, pasty-faced fckr.
Looks like he fell out of the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down and landed on his face.
A walking example of why euthanasia should be considered in lost causes.
13
I don’t know about the chromosomes but he’s certainly short of about 50 IQ points.
9
Milliband Minor was asked on the Today programme (by that other cunt Robertson) about Syria. He prevented action being taken in 2013 after the chemical and gas attack on his own people by Assad. No apology and no understanding of the situation then or now.
6
Well Sam If you’re looking for trouble
You came to the right place..
If you’re looking for trouble, just look right in my face…
If you wanna cunt someone make it that fat Dutch gippò Tom Parker, if he was a colonel then I’m a brigadier..
Fucking illegal immigrant were cunts even then.
12
Brigadier Barry,
Parker was an Honorary Colonel in the Louisiana State Guard. (Not to be confused with the Louisiana National Guard.) It was a political reward for helping one of their hack Governors get elected.
He was as the Louisiana Cajuns might say, a beaucoup chat.
4
I know it’s usually bad form to speak ill of the dead but I always found him overrated and in no way deserving of the accolades with which he has been bestowed for decades – “King of Rock n’ Roll”…. pass me the sick bag.
For decades now, whenever I’ve seen Elvis impersonators in pubs and such, they only ever impersonate the bloated, greasy, spangly glam-rock catsuit-wearing, Las Vegas Elvis of the 1970’s because said impersonators are almost always bloated, greasy, middle aged men who, even in their youth, were never handsome enough to pull off the 1950’s Pelvis.
12
I remember the cunt as a crooner who made shit films.
Not a patch on Jerry Lee and co.
7
Yep.
I still love Little Richard, The Everlys and Holly to this day.
5
Litttle Richard yes (It’s Saturday night and I just got paid). I always found Buddy Holly and the Deverley’s too efette. I’d go for Jerry Lee Lewis and even Bill Haley from that era (saw a 1970s Bill Haley on TV on Sunday night!)
2
Bill Haley?!!
Bill fuckin Haley?
The thieving fat cunt.
That ‘ Rock around the clock?”
He stole that.
From the great Hank Williams “move it on over”
https://youtu.be/-Lza3NVH6Ig?si=7U2AeA2WjLakWWqR
3
Everley’s sorry not Deverley’s
2
The Deverley sisters?
4
Being a Pedo doesn’t help his case either.
3
He did prove one thing, his arse sang the better.
2
Swan songs don’t come any better.
2
What’s all the commotion. The overrated cunt is still alive and taking singing lessons from a blackbird.
1
Saw chuck berry,jerry lee, little Richard,bo diddley and Bill Haley at the London rock n roll show in ’72 when i was 20 and thought I was the bee’s knees 😁….have to say chuck who was the last on absolutely stole the show 🎸 it was a fantastic day all round with not a 🔪 in sight 👍….as for the king well not for me, that has to be chuck👑and jerry lee 🎹 …oh for a pair of brothel creepers now they had to be the comfiest shoes ever …just gimme some of that rock’n roll 🎵🎶
7
at nearly 75, I am mighty impressed with your emoji work. genuinely. 👍
6
What’s an emoji?
4
I think Surkeer is one.
2
Elvis was fuckin ace!!
You cunts are mental.
A working class truck driver who became the king of Rock n roll?!!!
He was surrounded by cunts, yes men ,arselickers, and manipulative types like colonel Tom Parker.
All he wanted in life was somewhere warm to take a shit and a triple decker squirrel and peanut butter burger.
Poor cunt☹️
But no taking away the fact the lad was a true showman👍
https://youtu.be/T1g5tVGZhfk?si=jk7KzAeIsEhDhHHw
And while he may of been a bit of a berk he instinctively knew that John Lennon was a absolute cock.
Described him as ” that stinking fucking hippy”.
Long live Elvis!!
The original Donald Trump
15
Ps
I prefer the later Elvis, big fat lad, in a sequinned jumpsuit sweating like a negro in court.
It’s more honest .
Dunno what all that Hawaiian shite was about ?
Nowt rock n roll about Hawaii?
Shit hole.
7
Anybody remember how Cliff Richard was always described as “The British Elvis”?. I always remember seeing on walls near my parents home circa 1958 “Cliff for ever, Elvis never” (and vice-versa) – my parents didn’t write it but they lived on a corner with a large wall that kids chalked on.
That was Cliff Richard in his mean and moody years, not the later soft old pansy he really is.
5
Cliff was a fanny magnet in the 70s.
If he had any sense, he’d have shagged himself senseless.
2
Elvis apparently got on better with George Harrison. They met again after the Gracelands meeting in the 60s.
2
Lennon was – by many accounts – a knob.
One member of an early 60s Liverpool pop band said he witnessed Lennon slam a boat door on a girl’s hand for no reason. Nobody they knew, just a girl on the Mersey Ferry. She was bleeding and cried her eyes out. And not one person laughed except Lennon.
Even his supposed best mate Paul McCartney admitted that Lennon could be a ‘complete and utter bastard’. His words in the 1999 Beatles Anthology book.
3
Well if he had Lennon down as a prick he can’t be all bad to be fair to the fat greasy cunt.
0
When this twat first started out, his bottom half wasn’t shown on the telly in fear of you rushing to the toilet. It should’ve included the top half too.
3
Not a fan Sammy?
How about
Heartburn hotel?
Love meat tender?
In the gateau?
Or that one about Dandelion and burdock?
All shook up.
7
I was the latter years, Mis, when Stevie Wonder had designed his outfits and couldn’t get them off when going for a shite, was his biggest downfall.
4
Not a cunt. He was great in the pink panther cartoon pinkarella as pelvis parsley, as old pinky copped off with a drunken witch.
Biggest trending cunts right now must be Prinonce Andrew and Ed Rubberband..
1
The King of Rock n Roll a cunt?
I’m sorry but I’m not having that.
Afternoon.
5
Too right HJ
2
Can’t cunt the Elvis, King of Rock n Roll. The voice, the showmanship. I still have 50 Greatest Hits in the cd player of my car.
OK he loved a bit of ‘fools gold’ (baguette stuffed with jam, banana and peanut butter and fried in butter), but he has brought joy to millions.
Unlike, say, Tony Blair or Kweer Sturmer. Both solid contenders for the King of Cuntitude.
8
Oh, I have got to try that fucker.
3
Highly recommended comestible tbh but maybe leave out the jam and use chocolate sauce,The king should’ve brought out his own cook book.
0
It’s like Fat Reg.
His early 70s output was near to true greatness. Levon, Tiny Dancer, Loves Lies Bleeding, Rocket Man, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. Wonderful records.
But, his cunt levels rocketed after the 80s, and he is now a full blown contemptible cunt and cartoon poof panto villain. But those 70s songs are a reminder of what he used to be.
6
p.s. did anyone have Duncan Norvelle in the Dead Pool?
Won’t be doing any more chasing, sadly.
4
They reckon old Dunc wasn’t even a whoopsie. His ex-girlfriend got her lalllies out for Mayfair back in the day.
All that ‘Chase me’ stuff was part of the act.
Anyroad, RIP.
9
Old Dunc was deffo not a puff lovely bloke, he really did change his merc when the ashtray was full.
4
Fuck me, he’s been dead since I was 11. Talk about being tardy?
1
Stop moaning, some noms get delayed a bit.
4
Of course I bloody moaned, I was all shook up!
2
When I was a boy a lot of people thought he was the epitome of cool. I always thought he was the epitome of cunt.
Thanks to Mme Beau for the long due recognition that Elvis was a cunt. It’s just possible he is a bigger cunt in death than he was in life.
However, there is no denying his impact on modern music so it’s also possible that he is not spending eternity in the fiery depths of Hell wailing and gyrating to the eternally damned.
His fans are all cunts too.
6
Was spectacular in his 68 Comeback prime. A million miles from the shite we have do endure now, like Ed Sheercunt, Sam Smith, Fat Arse Capaldi and all that crap. Presley oozed star quality and charisma. That was undeniable.
But that cunt Parker and the Memphis Mafia worked him to death.
Two or three shows a day in Vegas, drugged up to his tits, not knowing what day it was. They should have focused on making great records, and not pleasing rich Vegas high rollers.
Needless to say, it couldn’t, and it didn’t. Someone that badly managed and poorly looked after could only go one way. Down.
Anyway, here is the King at his best.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7tHjlSk6Nk
4
Hey Norman,
I respectfully disagree.
Subject matter notwithstanding, this is Elvis at his best:
https://youtu.be/EKHVtJcG3Is?si=WqC317aauU0jCGxk
3
Fair enough, General. And thanks for the Ed Sullivan clip.
Talking of which, this lady (and Sullivan regular) always did things to me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4vBZRCm2vU
4
No beating him back then in the handsome stakes i rec.Maybe Jim Morrison had the edge but he was more of a god in appearance,Elvis more earth based handsome i guess.
0
Part of me is glad that Elvis never ended up like an old wheezing cash cow self parody, like Macca, Rod the Conk, Jagger or Fat Reg.
Sure, his end years weren’t pretty. But seeing ancient rock relics charging the earth in their eighties is even worse.
6
I admit, Elvis fans can be fanatical and obsessed cunts.
But, the worst ones for me are Michael Jackson and Taylor Swift fans.
Absolute knobheads, who blindly deify Wacko and ‘Tay Tay’.
And the joke is they are mostly grown adults.
Kids going to see Jacko when he was alive (actually, let’s skip that).
OK, kids being into Taylor Swift, I can understand, It’s kiddies music (i.e: crap).
And blokes ogling Swifty’s long legs or tight arse, I get that and all.
But adults paying nigh on a grand for Swift tickets? What the fuck is that about?
4
There’s some gypsies I know,
And occasionally they’ll have the karaoke 🎤 on.
Elvis every time 😀
I love to hear them doing suspicious minds.
3
All Pikeys have Elvis as their middle name, they love him so much e.g. Billy-Joe Elvis O’MacDougal.
Almost like it’s the law, not that the diddies ever pay much attention to that.
1
Isn’t that Harvey Price in the open art link?
3
Looks like that fat cunt who used to play for Liverpool.
Jan Molby Dick.
Or, it could be those other fat bastards, Julien ‘Likes’ Dicks or Neil ‘Raisins’ Ruddock
3
A festive clip from times past.
Bloody Hell, I wanted to bang Nina, badly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzpBwdUcpA4
7
Sorry.
Elvis falls into the uncuntable category.
1. He is called Elvis
2. He is the King
3. He is dead.
4
Does your chewing gum loose it’s flavour on the bed post over night?
0
It’s true that a lot of Northern cloggies do have a passion for Elvis. Especially his fat Vegas period,
Yokels from Burnley, Bacup, Blackburn, Darwen, and up yon.
The six finger club, the ‘is me brother me dad’ club.
Every pub up in these godforsaken places has an Elvis impersonator on at weekends.
2
Norm until fairly recently (90s) Bacup still had clog fighting.
No shit.
Two blokes kicking lumps out of each other wearing work Clogs.
Maybe they still do?
But deffo did in the 90s.
I knew a bloke round that way,
Council tried to take his house.
He shot a copper then blew his own nut off.
Dramatic type.
Here
https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2005/jul/05/ukcrime.ukguns2
0
Peter and the test tube babies performed a superb tribute to the King of rock ‘n’ roll alas I don’t know how to post it as the whole computer age passed me by but if any cunter is interested the track is entitled
Elvis is dead.
0