Tyson Fury (6)

In May this year Tyson Fury was beaten for the first time in his professional career by Oleksandr Usyk, a boxer much smaller and lighter than himself. Now, five months later, as he prepares for their re-match, he tells us that his wife suffered a miscarriage on the eve of their first fight. She didn’t give a reason at the time for not joining him in Saudi Arabia, but he ‘just knew’. Not that he’s using this as an excuse for losing, you understand.

Fury and his wife already have seven children and fittingly, as they’re all special and not ordinary like everyone else’s, they had to be given appropriately special names. Firstly there’s Venezuela aged 13, then Prince John James (11), Prince Tyson II (7), Valencia (5), Prince Adonis Amaziah (4), Athena (2) and lastly Prince Rico.

Of course Fury should be congratulated for his valiant attempts to populate the north west of Lancashire with his super brood, But seeing as his net worth is estimated to be anywhere between £40 million and £180 million, he would go up in my estimation if he could prove that he had never claimed one penny in child benefit from the state.

Sky news

Nominated by Allan.

72 thoughts on “Tyson Fury (6)

    • Does this ham fisted village idiot not realise that having the name ‘Prince’ doesn’t make you royalty ?
      A labrador named Prince is the same as a labrador named Fido.

      I wonder if his ‘Prince’ly children get the shit beaten out of them at school by the normal kids with traditional names, like Kendal, Moonbeam, Brooklyn, Taylor, Elon, Kier, Laserquest, etc ?

  1. I have never really thought much about Tyson Fury but does still live in Morecambe rather than a flashy gypsy king mansion in Alderley Edge or a New York penthouse. His caravan must be the envy of the site.

    • Rest assured his ‘income’ has filtered down to support an awful lot of scamming, lazy gyppos. He’s had to pay his way to a lot of cunts

  2. In boxing circles, when he started his career, he was considered an arrogant cunt. Then somewhere along his career path he proved he wasn’t an arrogant cunt- could fight and back up the bravado, and now he has gone back to being an arrogant cunt in my estimation. Full circle if you like.

  3. Talented boxer but doesn’t look after himself properly.

    Eventually it catches up with a boxer. Just ask Ricky Hatton.

    Plus a part of him died in last fight with Deontay Wilder and he’s not been the same since. Punch resistance diminished etc.

    Reckons he lost to Usyk because he was “enjoying himself a bit too much” because it was “too easy” Among some other excuses.

    We’ll see what his excuses will be after the rematch.

    • To be fair, that smack head Hatton is unbelievable porking Claire Sweeney, who I would dearly like to be sexually deviant with, so fair play, an ugly smack head fills his boots. Lucky bastard.

      • A bit like when that squat stumpy little Pug, Billy Joel was screwing Christie Brinkley in the 80s.

        Still a moment worthy of Rod Serling’s pen (cue Twilight Zone theme tune).

  4. I quite liked the fat bugger a few years back,especially when he got up like a zombie after shipping a couple of huge shots from drainpipe legs Wilder.

    Unfortunately as he’s got a bit older he’s lost a step and his timing has noticeably slipped..

    Add to that the fairy tale excuses and increasingly unpleasant pre fight publicity stunts and it all adds up to a fighter in decline.

    He should Jack it in and go back to roasting roadkill in clay over an open fire.

  5. That Alans a dreadful rotter isn’t he ?

    When not upsetting the Maga bunch and slagging off Donny Trump he’s attacking British sportsmen.

    I like Tyson Fury.
    I admire his being written off then going on to get back training and become heavyweight champion.

    I like the fact he gives hope to others that you can overcome great adversity and keep getting up when put on your arse.

    I rate him as a boxer.
    You don’t get to be heavyweight champion by being mediocre.

    I like him.

  6. He’s a complicated fella, I’ve heard him interviewed when he’s not flogging a fight and he’s pretty down to earth.

    Ali realised being a cunt sold fights and Tyson is happy to play that part.

    He ain’t as much of a cunt as an only buy from Black Business Joshua.

    • I truly despise that cunt Sixdog.
      Not because he’s black,
      I’m not arsed about that.

      It’s his mirror kissing,
      His ego,
      Talking about ‘his legacy” and stuff.
      The self absorbed fucker lives with his mum!!!

    • Joshua is the bigger cunt by far. By a mile, I’d say.

      He is a black woke puppet first, and a fighter second.

      Tell a lie. He’s a black woke puppet first, an advertising dummy second, and a fighter third.

      Some pillock got me a Lynx gift set one Christmas. Now, I don’t like Lynx anyway. Overpriced, smells poofy and doesn’t last. But this one had Anthony Joshua’s ugly mug on the box. Needless to say, it was never opened or used.

      • Use it in the toilet after a smelly dump, Norman.

        I imagine Joshua spends alot of time hanging around mens bathrooms.

      • He’s the only person I know who If at the fair goes in the Tunnel of Love on his own.

      • I never liked Lynx. Baz.

        It doesn’t do the job it’s supposed to.
        It was also part of that whole lads mags bollocks.
        Supposed to attract ladies like files around shit.
        A load of overrated overpriced crap.

        Prefer the old classics, like Old Spice, Brut and Blue Stratos.

      • My all time favourite, Norman, is Tabac. You can still buy it – it ain’t cheap but it is the mutt’s nuts.

  7. I think the rules of boxing should be changed and only verbal abuse is necessary. Arms by the side and telling each other to fuck off is much safer.

  8. Most modern parents call their kids ridiculous names.

    A boy – especially – should have a decebt name that carries him through childhood and then adulthood. John, Mark, Andrew, James, David, Paul. Michael and – yes – Norman (Ha Ha).

    But little lads are given the stupidest and most poofy names. The knob across the road from us (the daft dick that blew up his camper van) has called his baby son ‘Foal’. Straight up, Foal, as in baby horse. He and his Mrs have named their boy Foal. The man is the ultimate modern parent hipster bellend. This buffoon also dresses the wee man in Slipknot T-Shirts. Now, he doesn’t even like Slipknot (who would? They’re shit comedy metal). But he thinks they are ‘cool’, so he kits his baby out in their overpriced ‘merch’. It’s like something out of a bad sirtcom. But idiots like that really do exist.

    Poor little sod. Imagine the school register when he’s older….

    ‘Stephen, Alan, Gordon, Richard, Peter, Ian…. Foal.;

    I’ve seen other little lads, named Morgan, Curtis, and just letters, like J.P and (can you believe it) B.J. Named after mummy’s favourite passtime, I suppose.

      • The little lad should learn the words to that Johnny Cash classic ‘A Boy Named Sue’.

        Replacing Sue with the name Foal.

        ‘My name is Foal! How do you do do! Now you gonna die!’

      • But surely he’ll be called ‘Horse’ when he grows up.

        Norman – you should ask your NEIGHbour (geddit?) if anyone’s ridden him yet.

      • He’s a knob, Geordie.
        Terrirfied the old lady who lives across the road from him.

        This cunt explodes his van, and fireballs are spitting onto her lawn. And flames are all she can see through her front window. Poor lady was crying her eyes out. I had to take her over her back fence and get her to safety. We also called the fire brigade.

        But, did the cunt offer her (or anyone) a word of apology? Did he fuck as like. Not only that, another time his car was blocking the street. A young lady from around the corner politely asked him to move it so she could get through, and he behaved like a premium arsehole. He expected me t back him up, and his face when I didn’t. Why the bugger would I do that? He never speaks to us, and I think he’s a cunt.

        The fact that he gives his kids stupid names is the thin end of the wedge where this cunt is concerned.

    • And the amount of little lads who are – shall we say – one of coffee and one of cream. Touched with the tar brush, as my nana would say. Or, touched with the curry pot. As a lot tof them are these days.

      Funny, that you nver see their fathers with them though. Wonder why that is?…..

    • Their little daughter also has a stupid name.
      A bird’s name. Bird as in the feathered winged variety.
      Sometthing like Finch, Sparrow, or something ridiculous.

  9. I never knew tyson was a fan of the musical legend prince.

    Must be a super fan to name four of your children prince.

    I wonder if he has a little red corvette.

  10. I’d love to see Fury flatten that cunt Joshua.

    Won’t happen though, I don’t think.

    I’d also like to see Fury twat the living shit out of that trannie olympic boxing freak who likes breaking young ladies’ noses.

      • I’ve watched that Tyson v Holmes bout a few times over the years Sixdog

        I know Larry was knocking on a bit but it was still quite impressive how quickly and brutally Iron Mike put him away.

        Holmes was an absolute legend with a cast iron chin.

      • It was apparently done with malice in mind.

        Mike promised Ali he’d get Larry for the beating he put on Ali at the end of his career.

      • @MNC

        Holmes didn’t want the the fight, he was trying to get the ref to stop it. Holmes was in tears after the fight.

        Ali’s ego put him in that ring long after he should have hung up his gloves.

        Larry get’s the blame but Ali and those around him put him in that fight.

        Holmes got an offer he couldn’t refuse to fight Tyson, bad for his legacy.

      • Oh I agree entirely Six.

        But got to understand where Ali’s ego is concerned it must of been hard?

        Your the super fast, young boxer slaying monsters like Sonny Liston and big George Foreman ,
        The whole world calls you the greatest…

        Then you start getting old.
        Losing.

        Larry had been his sparring partner.

        Yeah , he thought he’d beat Larry, Larry didn’t take any pleasure in beating a far from at his best Ali.

        As for Mike Tyson I can understand how seeing your hero beat would make you want to avenge him.

      • Ali fought again after Holmes.

        Against Trevor Berbick a couple of years later.

        The fact that he even was allowed to take part in either of those last two contests just shows the blatant lack of regards, from the powers that be at the time in boxing, for the man’s health.

        Ali was a literal shadow of himself by the late 70s

        Saying that, looking at the current cognitive state of heavyweight fighters such as Derek Chisora and Joe Joyce, nothing much has changed.

        As much as I have loved watching the sport – fuck me it’s brutal and every single punch to the head is definitely one punch too many.

    • My boxing heroes were these lads…

      Roberto Duran
      Thomas ‘The Hit Man’ Hearns
      Sugar Ray Leonard
      ‘Marvellous’ Marvin Hagler

      They were the bollocks, those fellahs.

      • We were spoilt during that era Norman.

        Just slightly before my time though I can remember clearly the whole Hagler v Leonard build up and fight in 87.

        One of my earliest boxing memories was Hagler knocking out Britain’s Tony Sibson as well.

        Hagler was a supreme fighter.

    • Sorry peeps, this is a nom that Admin found down the back of Grannies armchair.

      I don’t think Allan is here anymore.

      I’d love to be proved wrong.

  11. Weird but despite my dreadful racism
    I never carry it through with boxing.

    I couldn’t give a fuck if Fury is a gypsy
    Or Joe Frazier is black.

    It feels wrong somehow.

    To train that hard, to put your life on the line,
    To compete at that level.
    It seems a bit petty to bring race into it.

    And I’m normally petty as fuck.

    Dunno why, just the way it is?
    I respect People like George Foreman,
    Poor Joe Frazier (R.I.P)
    Roberto Duran
    Etc.

  12. I’d pay good money to see the tyson Fury Vs Harvey Price fight. My money is on Katie’s pet mong.

    • Just because someone looks chunky, doesn’t mean they’re fat.

      Take Dexter, I jokingly call him five bellies. He humerously reciprocates by ripping three deep, bloody furrow in my arm.

      Jolly japes, fresh from the Priests Hovel.

  13. I wanted Tyson Fury to win the BBC Sports Personality of the Year.
    The main reason being I wanted Gary Lineker to shit himself on air, when he met the big fellah.

    • I don’t think he wanted it though. Didn’t he threaten legal action agains al-Beeb if they even so much as talked about it?

  14. At the time of the Eric Cantona kung-fu kick at Selhurst – and its Lineker led witch hunt – Vinne Jones asked TV viewers who they’d rather have next to them in the trenches during a battle. Vinnie Jones and/or Eric Cantona, or Gary Lineker?

    Another scenario… A battle, with mud, blood and bullets all over the show.
    Who would you rather have with you? Tyson Fury or Anthony Joshia and/or Gary Lineker?

  15. They could improve boxing, by bringing back those fit birds in dental floss bikinis carrying the cards telling us the number of the next round

  16. Spurned by Spanner and filling in her spare time by hurling playground insults at Orange Man, Emily Five Bellies is looking for a part-time job Norm. An ideal candidate I’d have thought.

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