Paddington [2]


This scruffy freeloading little cunt has annoyed me for years. I gather there is yet another Paddington film doing the rounds, as though there was anything more to say about this very thin tale. I saw an advert for it today when I was out, which got right on my fucking tripe.

I recall a series of very dull children’s books years ago, which could be taken at face value. These days, I cannot help thinking that Paddington is a Trojan horse for the acceptance of illegal immigration, and is cynically directed at the very young.

The cunt speaks perfect English, wants nothing more than a marmalade sandwich now and again and apparently has no sexual urges or political or religious beliefs. He is not making use of the NHS or claiming any benefits. People just want to help him because he is so charming. Who could possible object to such a wholesome little character?

Well I do for fucking starters, anyone who goes around in just a duffel coat is clearly a wrong ‘un. Also the character is meant to be a Peruvian Spectacled bear, and the cunt in the films looks nothing like one of those – he is therefore a cultural appropriator and stealing another bear’s livelihood. The cunt.

Spectator Link

Nominated by: Mary Hinge

27 thoughts on “Paddington [2]

    • Yet another illegal immigrant turning up expecting free marmalade.

      An he’s south American!!
      Probably one of those Narco bears you read about?
      Lisping and coke sniffing in our capital city.

      I despise anyone who wears a duffle coat.

  1. The family implicit in harbouring this hairy illegal alien in London was a family called the Browns.

    I just bet they fuckin were.

    Middle class cunts.
    Speccy liberal book readers.

  2. If I’d of wrote Paddington I’d of made him a Alaskan grizzly bear.

    Swelled to gigantic proportion by eating salmon he’d leave a trail of mangled bodies throughout London that would make Jack the Ripper blush.

    • Fair enough Mr Twatt. I’ve been expecting the knock on the door for several years now, for any number of things.

      Good morning all.

  3. Paddington 2024 ought to see him threatening his rivals in a drill rap video, spreading marmalade on his KFC with a zombie knife, fathering several illegitimate bears and riding a moped round the west end of London, ripping dullards’ phones right out of their hands.

    • He’ll import the rest of his tribe as soon as possible and open a Turkish barbers or a vape shop to launder drug money and profits from soft toy trafficking. Happy World Conjoined Twins Day by the way Cunt Engine, you doing anything special?

  4. Anthropomorphism is a strange thing. Understandable for children but indulged in by so many of us adults. Millions of us keep cats or dogs and invariably we name them, as if the animal gives a toss. We have always kept cats, Mrs Brain is very allergic to dogs, they trigger her asthma. They have all shared one common characteristic, they know their own name having learned it from the wife. If they regard it as to their advantage they will respond to their name, if not you could be forgiven for thinking the creature was stone fucking deaf.

    • Too right about thinking cats could be deafnArfur, our buggers- Lennie, Paddy and Cookie deal with us on their own terms and treat us with mild contempt.
      I wonder why we love them.

  5. I’d use the fucker’s skin to keep a sentry’s head warm outside Buckingham Palace once storm Vlad ‘The Cunt From The East’ hits us later on this winter.

    • Yes indeed, and leave the face on it and facing forwards so it looks particularly grim, in the manner of the severed heads at Traitors Gate centuries ago.

  6. My cat has a teddy bear and various other soft stuffed toys, he looks so cute when is sleeping with them.

    The rest of the time he is a complete cunt.

    There are lots of adverts for protection of bears against cruelty, I would be quite happy to give asylum to bears and feed them on recycled cross channel rags heads.

  7. As far as I am able to ascertain, Paddington is not claiming bennies, pushing drugs, or stabbing the locals. However, I still don’t know the precise nature of his relationship with the aristocratic actor/luvvie/national treasure Hugh Bonneville. I think we should be told. In the meantime, he should be kept under surveillance along with that tiger who comes to tea.

    Good afternoon, everyone

    • Definite wrong ‘un.

      I hear Bagpuss lived up to his BBC stereotype and was forced to leave after “inappropriate” behaviour with the members of Playschool, ie. he was double-tagging Jemimah with Big Ted and of course there was the Little Ted gr00ming thing.

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