The Banking system

is a cunt.

The Wanking Banking System.. On Friday last week, i went for a meal with my son. Due to operator error, I was charged twice for the meal, and wasn’t aware of it until the following morning. I returned to the restaurant and had no problems with getting a refund credited back to my card. The following Friday, the refund was still not credited to my account, this morning (Wednesday ) the payment was finally credited to my account. Where in fucks name has my money been for the last week and a half? Last night I googled the question. Apparently processing a transaction can take between 1 and 14 days. Why? In today’s high tech world, why does it take so fucking long for a computerised system to move money from one account to another ? Surely in future I can delay all my bill payments for 2 weeks or so, as it will take me 2 weeks to “process” a payment.?

I suspect the Banks have got a fiddle going somewhere.

Nominated by Just another Cunt.

64 thoughts on “The Banking system

  1. Banks should be forced to operate 24 hours a day, what use is a bank to someone who does actual work thus funding their bizzare money absorbing system if they are at work every minute the banks are open?

    I recently got a cheque from HMRC, my main bank (it has a banking licence and everything) does not even accept cheques.

    My other bank is in hot water and has just been fined £29 million for not carrying out new customer checks, but on the plus side I was able to upload my cheque.

    • I must live a charmed existence.

      Not had to write or deposit a cheque since 2017. The vast majority of my transactions are conducted via contactless debit cards and same day electronic fund transfer.

      £200 cash withdrawals from the ATM every couple of months or so, always gone like clockwork.

      Online banking for me has been a boon. Only hassle was having to get a mobile phone to receive texts and the occasional passcode when logging in.

      • I hope you have a shared account with your wife?

        What are you having for your tea?

      • Yep – a joint account (for household expenses) at one bank and a personal account with another, via which I conduct my various nefarious transactions…

        Tea? Hostages, mash and gravy.

      • Had to look it up tiger bread… foreign isn’t it?

        From the land that spawned Rembrandt.

        Sounds extremely scrummy though – bon appétit!

  2. I was planning to write a nomination for this myself.
    I have been with Barclays for over 60 years, not so much as a fucking mug or a letter from them to acknowledge that, let alone a bottle or lunch.
    However 2 weeks ago took the biscuit. I have a Euro account and I was in France for a week so I wanted a few cash Euros. No problem go and make a withdrawal at my local branch. I was already prepared for the fact that they no longer keep Euros in stock and I would have to order them. Could I do it at the branch , could I fuck, no you have to call a telephone number. My voice is still very weak following surgery in the summer, so I asked the woman behind the counter if she could do it for me. That was impossible she said ( and enjoyed telling me). I informed her no wonder the Nationwide TV advert was so popular. When I got home I called the number it wasn’t impossible to get through to anyone as there was an automated call system. It couldn’t understand me, not only because of my voice but also it refused to do allow me to withdraw my own Euros in cash. I ended up getting Euros out of a French ATM at a lousy exchange rate.
    The other thing noticeable in the bank were small leaflets saying that the branch was going cashless so we won’t even be able to withdraw cash from your account.

    • I use currencies direct when dealing in Euros. Particularly for sending payment of legal fees etc

      They also do pre-loaded debit cards.

      You always get the spot rate and I’ve had no issues so far.

  3. The money probably went round the world three or four times via a hundred “financial institutions” together with several hundred million transaction refunds,snowballing in size until the bank was happy with the profit it made..

    then the refund gets deposited to your account.

    Let’s not forget banks are totally infallible and when they aren’t someone else settles their debts for them.

    Thanks Alastair Darling you dead cunt.

    Good morning.

    • Exactly so Terry. The banks were able to put transactions through in milliseconds decades ago but they use your money to play the markets and when it’s yours and millions of other people’s they “borrow” it earns them a fortune. If it’s to the bank’s advantage/profit then the transaction certainly will go through in milliseconds. As ZM said recently, as far as you can go financially “off grid” i.e work cash in hand. Over fifty years ago I worked with a man who after being paid on the last day of the month would go in the bank next day and draw the whole balance in cash and put it in his wallet. Seems an ever more sensible idea as time goes by.

      • Take an AK47 and withdraw a large number of other people’s balances as well. In case of an unexpected bill, er, or something.

    • Few people have a real understanding of the levels of cuntishness banks are capable of achieving.
      I’ve been researching banking for/with an author friend of mine for about 20 years. It’s a very deep rabbit hole.
      If you want a good start at understanding the levels of corruption and evil in the banking industry, a good start would be “The Creature from Jeckyll Island” by G. Edward Griffin.
      Cunts is too mild a word for bankers.

  4. Try something like Revolut, Starling, Monzo if you want a 24-hour bank. I closed my NatWest account several years ago because they’re robbing fucks. With Revolut, I pay no interest on foreign transactions/cash withdrawals, and payments are instantaneous.

    I haven’t looked back.

  5. I’m sure I read somewhere that the contract you have with the Bank means that once you put money into your account its actually theirs, so they think they’re doing you a favour letting you access it.

  6. If I were wealthy enough, I would buy either Barclays, British Gas or E-on. They have some of the most illegal scams going. Of course nobody regards them, down to their rightful positions as lower than a snakes belly, because that is reserved for used car salesmen and market traders (by the way the other market traders in Petticoat Lane wonder when Rachel Reeves is going back to her fruit and veg stall).

    British Gas are always first to rise prices (then all the others follow suit), and Barclays seem to have more “problems” than any other. First Direct are supposed to be the best,according to “Which”.

    Keir Rodney has been having the Barclays for years – that’s why he needs glasses all the time now. They say it makes you go blind.

  7. Tut!
    God, this is awful!
    Bloody banks.

    Any issues with banking if you send your bank details via admin id happily look into it for you.

    Oh and your date of birth and mother’s maiden name too.

    Ciao👍

  8. I of course don’t trust banks.

    Run by shady suits and elites,
    Probably Jews?
    And freemasons.

    I prefer my old spunk stained mattress.
    Rammed full of cash in hand £20s.

    No interest?!!
    Good! They can mind their own fuckin business.

  9. Hire a safety deposit box and put your money in the form of gold and silver legal tender in there, fuck these shysters, they’re been getting away with too much for too long.
    Banksters fund wars.

  10. Not directly bank related, but a company I worked for back in the early 90’s were rather cash rich and could afford to ‘gamble’ a bit on the daily markets.

    Back then £1m would generally get you around £500-550 per day in interest.

    Now consider them holding onto a few quid refund for both you and several million other customers for a couple of weeks. You can see how that pays off quite handsomely.

  11. This processing a transaction shite is bullshit.

    I send you some money,
    I can do it in seconds digitally.
    So why do banks take so long to transfer funds?

    Because they’re on the rob.

    It suits them to sit on funds.

    Well fuck them!!

    They act as a law unto themselves.
    As the Nigel Farage debanking scandal showed us.
    They are upto the elbows in all sorts of unscrupulous stuff but virtue signal like a student union.

    • Off topic

      Did anyone see our king insulted in Australia?
      Heckled!
      By a colonial!

      Some pissed up bird wearing a old rug.
      She shouted
      ” Your not our king!!”
      Started accusing him of stealing bones and skulls (?)
      Clearly been on the castlemaine xxxx.

      But she’s called Labia or summat?
      That’s not a abo name
      And she doesn’t look abo.

      She’s faux abo.
      Dunno what the daft cunt was on about but she should be shot.

      Charlie’s ears went very red.

      • Her father is English. She is about as much Abo as we are.

        Fuck knows why she was wearing a Dingo around her neck though. Probably as pissed as an Abo and only half as useful.

        Perhaps some of our antipodean cousins can advise us?

      • There are too many of these cunts now, blue eyes, blonde or red hair, pallid complexion and a nose that doesn’t cover their face, all claiming preferential rights because they have a possum skin cloak and a native ancestor from a 150 years or more in the past. I’m part Ballardong Nyungar but look like Brian Blessed. I saw Their HM’s today at the national war memorial, thankfully the protesters were silenced and removed half an hour before HM’s arrival. As for Senator Lidia Thorpe shove your manky moggie cloak up your cunt, harridan cunt.
        Rant over.
        God save the King.
        Presem Yasur.

      • Yes, it means defiler of country cream gates. I’ll leave a silver pillow attached to what’s left of it, so you know it’s me.

      • Ps

        Your not having your skulls and bones back either.

        We’re using them.

        In our fishtanks.

  12. The fact they loan you money that doesn’t exist and then charge you money on the loan ought to be enough reason not to trust them.

    Then the fact that if your lucky enough to have a lot of money in the bank and turn up and ask them for 50k of your own money in cash they’ll laugh in your face whilst performing an interrogation as to why you want your own money in cash.

    Totally corrupt system designed to rob the little guy.

    • I recently had a run in with my bank relating to not being able to transfer some money into an ISA without that little calculator wotsit, that I don’t carry around with me.

      The uppity little cow on the other end of the phone was a right stuck up cunt and employed a sneering tone when I told her to close all of my accounts and have the money sat waiting on the counter by 4pm.

      Until she realised how much is in those accounts. Major attitude adjustment.

      “Oh….erm, we don’t carry that much cash in branch”.

      So you’re saying that you don’t have my money?
      Have that cash sat on the counter, by 4pm, or I’ll have your manager arrested for fraud.

      Didn’t close the accounts as far too much arse ache. But by fuck was it satisfying putting one of the ‘computer says no’ fuckwits in their place.

    • I don’t know if you spotted it Sixdog, but a cunter posted recently of his interrogation by the bank staff as to why he wanted to withdraw his own cash. His response;

      “Guns, drugs and whores.”

      Way to go!

  13. Tup, some banks are utter cunts.

    Was with HSBC for 25 years. Paid off my mortgage early, settled several loans early, never missed a payment on anything, ever, 6 figure salary, zero debt and an HSBC credit card with a £21k limit and zero balance. 999 credit score too.
    I applied for a smallish loan to get some building done. Fuck off, we’re not lending you anything and we don’t have to tell you why.
    Fucking laughable. Clearly someone mistyped something or dropped the ball but could I fuck get past the first bint that answered the phone and just kept repeating the same shite over and over from her idiot sheet. “It’s not our policy to tell customers our lending criteria”.

    Fair enough, It’s not my policy to bank with a company that insults me, refuses to explain why or escalate my complaint above chimp level. Neither will my company which had £1m plus sat in their fucking coffers.

    Anyway, Halifax are doing just fine with my business now.

    • My mate who’s also caked up had a similar problem with HSBC. He treated himself to a Porsche 911 for his 50th as he’s dragged himself up from his bootstraps and done good for himself. Fair fucks. They wanted to charge him the privilege of moving his hard-earned money to pay for the car.

      They got told to go fuck. I think he banks with Lloyds now.

  14. Wait until we go cashless, despite my best efforts, then you’ll see how cunty banks will become. Second a company doesn’t follow the “right values” ie woke shit you won’t be able to spend there and, if you say the “wrong thing” ie normal views you’ll be frozen out. Scary times.

    • Yeah, I would say to people don’t be fooled by Nigel Farage’s victory over NatWest and forcing that cunt who sanctioned it to resign. Farage is a wealthy bloke and obviously has a big public platform to kick up a stink but the average man in the street will stand no chance unless a big co-ordinated fightback by the Free Speech Union or something similar.

  15. The worst decision ever made was when Gordon Brown decided to bail out the banks – who cased the meltdown in the first place. Sociopathic greedy cunts the lot of them.

      • The longer they can hang onto your money, the more it benefits them. Ebay are doing it now. If you sell something, instead of sending the money to your bank account like they used to, they keep it in your ‘balance’ to pay towards your next purchase. You have to request a ‘withdrawal’ before they’ll give it to you.

  16. Does NatWest still give pot pigs to kids opening a deposit account?

    Probably not eh?

    Upset the sand people.

    And little Guinevere is from a vegan family.

    Probably get a Luckybag now with a few puberty blockers, a Taylor Swift sticker and a free Palestine flag.

  17. The trick with banks is play them at their own game, Open an account with all of them and take £1000 and start transferring it like crazy through all the accounts a dozen or so times a day so they start offering riduculous overdrafts and loans based on income, decline all offers but keep building limits then one day, take every penny they are offering and move it into your new Cayman island account then to your Thai account where you start your bank funded retirement in Thailand, allegedly

  18. Some years ago I took out a loan with First Direct, which also had payment protection insurance.
    After it was paid off, I asked them by chance, if I had also paid interest on the insurance.
    Which turned out I did, they couldn’t wait to re-imberse me £9,000 the crafty cunts.

  19. Between 2005 and 2007 I worked at MBNA Credit Cards, HBOS and M&S Money (as they were called back then).

    Even in 2005 when I worked at MBNA Credit Cards (now Bank of America again) we were told explicitly in training that the reason for “3-5 days clearing time on BACS payments” was because the money goes into a high interest savings account owned by the bank.

    I’m certain that’s also the reason why payments to big companies are instant and refunds are eternal. I hope that clears up any confusion… more money to the big man and more dicks in the arse of the little man.

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