are cunts.

I remember watching an episode of Tomorrow’s World when I was a child.
The revelation on that particular programme was that in the future there would be no need for food.
Cooking would be redundant as you would be able to get all of your nutrients by taking a cocktail of pills.

Of course that didn’t catch on.
They didn’t take into account that preparing and sharing food is ritualistic.
It’s a basic, human thing to do.

No young man has ever proposed to his sweetheart over a couple of pills and a glass of water.

Nobody has ever celebrated a birthday or anniversary by downing a handful of capsules.

For many, to cook for someone is a privilege.
It’s important.

La mesa.

People often say that the kitchen is the heart of the home.
That is only true if you have a table to eat from in the kitchen.
A small, galley type kitchen barely big enough for two people can hardly be described as the heart of the home.

An important feature of many Mediterranean homes is the table.

It’s usually a simple wooden table with a number of wooden chairs.
Nothing elaborate, but extremely important.

That is the heart of the home.
The entire house can get flattened by an earthquake but the table must be saved.

To be invited to someone’s home is to be invited to their table.
You will of course be offered wine and food.

How fucking ignorant can these fussy eaters be?

You don’t eat dairy products.
You don’t eat pork.
You only eat ‘organic’ produce.
You only drink fair trade coffee.
You have ‘got’ some imaginary allergy, diagnosed by yourself.
You are a fucking vegan.

Or a combination of all of the above.

Fussy eaters will not compromise.
They think that they are being special and interesting when in reality they are just being cunts.

They will not, even for one evening put their silly habits to one side.
Yes you may be vegan but that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible for you to eat meat.
It only means that you prefer not to.

Forget your preferences for a short while.
Understand that someone is welcoming you to their table.

But they won’t because they don’t care about who they insult.
It’s all about them.

La mesa mía.

Mrs Cunter wanted to invite her friends around for a barbecue.
After some thought she changed her mind.
One of her friends is a vegan.
A completely uncompromising vegan who gets upset and refuses to eat if meat has been prepared in the same place as her vegetarian food.

The food that someone has gone out of their way to buy for her.

Mrs Cunter cancelled her barbecue evening.
She said, “Fuck this, I can’t not invite her and I can’t be arsed with her fucking ignorance”.

Quite right too.

Nominated by The Artful Cunter.