Woke Storms

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Are they having a laugh?

You must all have noticed by now that if there is going to be a light shower tomorrow in your region the MSM will issue a local “ALERT !!!” …
Yes, about 5mm of accumulated gentle drizzle might probably fall somewhere near you. So you`ll need a hat. Or a brolly. What you won`t need, is a fucking lifeboat because you won`t be washed away in a biblical flood.

So, what am I cunting?

The cunts who name the `storms`, that`s who.

As per the link, `Lilian` isn`t a great name for a storm, is it?
I mean, is it difficult to come up with a good name? How about `LEVIATHAN !`

`Hubert` the hurricane` doesn`t really work, does it? But what about `HOLOCAUST !` – Surely this has a more formidable ring to it, you must agree?

`Timmy` tornado. `Walter` waterspout. `Armenta` Armageddon

And it goes on. And on. And on.

Cunts.

PS After rethinking this, and given that the entire bill for the `devastation` will probably be about forty or fifty quid, `Cedric` cyclone might be OK after all.

bbcnews

Nominated by Sam Beau.

91 thoughts on “Woke Storms”

  1. Admin @

    Is it just the 2 noms today ?

    I like talking about the weather I am after all first and foremost a Englishman 🇬🇧

    But I’m thinking if we run out of things to say maybe some of the lads would like to post pictures of wives, topless if they want,
    And I’ll pick the best one?

    Admins can partake too if you have a wife or girlfriend,

    I think it’d help with bonding and stop any bickering.

    Yes, just the 2 noms today. We vary the number per day based upon how many nominations come in. We don’t want to run out, so sometimes cut back a bit. It’ll be 2 per day for another week, then we’ll reassess where we are. As for the topless wives/girlfriends idea, that’s a fine suggestion. If ever there was a perfect use for the Contact Us page, that has to be it. Trouble is, all messages sent via that page go direct to Chief Admin. I think I’d be the best judge of who has the best tits though. So come on gals, whip ’em out for the lads – NA.

    • We all remember the last time people posted pictures, the ‘2022 IsAC Men At Work’ calendar wasn’t it?

      The image of Fiddler as Mr April and Mr May double page spread, save his discreetly placed hunting horn, was burned into many a memory.

    • FFS Miserable wants a Readers wives section on ISaC.

      Fucking hell things really have taken a strange turn on here.

  2. * ps

    No Al or CGI or airbrushing,
    Proper honest photos.

    If you’ve a shy lass then maybe a below the waist shot?

    I’m not to bothered about faces anyway.

    • PPS

      This is also open to American cunters.

      If Bobby sue or Tonika is pretty, prove it.

      Doesn’t have to be your wife,
      Girlfriends, mums, your probation officer, your therapist, whatever.

      Just get them to smile,
      Maybe flop a titty out?

      • You hoping some ‘Murican totty is like Kim Cattrall in 1980s films or that woman from Whitesnake videos shaking her arse (that’s ass to our transAtlantic viewers) on a Jaguar?

        Probably be more like the mum out of the Goldbergs lol

    • I vote we have a section based on the best of Thomas’s Love Dungeon. Stills from some of the highlights of the magnificent orgies only Thomas can provide.

      The goings on in that establishment merit it’s own section. Perhaps he could submit a selection of the most sordid and depraved acts and there could be a competition to see which of them causes the most ejaculate to be spread over keyboards. As you are doubtless aware there is a publishing arm to Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Ltd, and the lucky winner could appear in the winter edition of our top shelf magazine, “Sticky Ends”. The scene which garners fewest votes will win the booby prize – AnalEase Dodd’s 2023 pair of knickers which have been lovingly preserved in an airtight plastic bag (by her “husband”, poor cunt) to preserve the odour. Remember there is only one pair per year. They get changed on January 1st whether they need to be or not. Imagine that – 365 days of AnalEase’s most intimate smells, which are guaranteed to contain the discharge from at least 700 farts, and numerous “little accidents” front and rear – the winds of March. the wet ones from Xmas dinner.

      As to storms – if there is lots of thunder we must call one storm Storm Rachel – imagine the thunder generated by Ms Reeves shiny slacks stretched across those enormous flabby buttocks, reinforced by the Y Fronts she wears underneath them., when she drops one (which is quite often judging by the look on her face). It must equal the cannon fire on the most realistic recording of the 1812 Overture.

  5. They should be named after historic villains.

    Storm Atilla
    Storm Genghis
    Storm Benito
    Storm Napoleon
    Storm Idi
    Storm Adolf
    Storm Saddam
    Storm Himmler
    Storm Pol Pot
    Storm Pinnochet

    Better leave out Storm Khomeini. Don’t want our peaceful friends, running round starkers, wielding machetes and setting fire to the Union Jack.

  6. More Grenfell Tower bollocks. I watched one of the news reports and they were just desperate to say it was racist. Just had to stick with the usual line of vulnerable people, marginalised communities….blah blah. A lot of people bar the real victims did very well out of this.

    • Some fireman was saying it was awful, just awful.

      He was the only one with marshmallows.

    • Absolute hogwash.

      Inconvenient truth numéro uno:
      Here is a picture of the firefighters that went to Grenfell to put out the flames
      https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/pri_43334650.jpg?quality=80&strip=all

      Seem to be a diverse group of firefighters wouldn’t you agree?
      But apparently racist all the same.

      I doubt it.

      Inconvenient truth number 2:

      Here are some of the residents of Grenfell Tower:
      Anthony Disson
      Gary Maunders
      Deborah Lamprell
      Sheila, who reportedly dropped her surname (lived in Grenfell Tower for 34 years.)
      Stephen Power
      Dennis Murphy
      Victoria King

      Here’s a link to the victims. Even the BBC can’t hide the truth on this.
      https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cdjwkn9vz7vo

      Don’t get too carried away with the Grenfell Tower story. It’s been nominated. If you’re really good and eat your greens, I may schedule it for tomorrow – NA.

  8. I’m sure that you’ve all noticed that the weather forecasts broadcasted by cunts like the British Bumfuckery Organisation use vivid colours like red,orange,and yellow ( like the sketch “Scorchio” on The Fast Show) to depict normal summer temperatures?
    Cunts

  9. The Brits are known for our love of talking about the weather … which is almost always rain (which we are also famous for) but we’re fast becoming an international laughing stock as the British stiff upper lip is becoming ever more mythical.

    A centimetre of snow on the ground? Best not drive anywhere: even though cars are what pulverises the snow into slush and makes driving more manageable.

    A strong wind knocks over a wheelie bin full of pillows and empty crisp packets? Quick, better think up a name for this “storm”. What letter of the alphabet are we on?

    The heat reaches temperatures which were common back in the summers of the 90’s? Oh Em Gee….. HEATWAVE!

    It’s raining for a change? Oh my God, my hairdo is going to be ruined! Disaster.

    What a nation of fannies.

    • You can laugh about hairdos getting ruined, but just think of the terrible selfies that will be taken on the bus – the curls all flopping down the forehead, the smudged eyeliner, the runny mascara……… and that’s just the men.

      • Lol I was going to mention the broccoli perms but I wasn’t sure if they’d gone out of fashion yet…. I fucking hope they have because they look fucking ridiculous.

  10. We had a severe weather warning last week, it was going to get to 23 fucking degrees C!!! Drink plenty and Dont go out at midday. . . .
    Last Sunday, severe weather warnings of thunderstorms and 50mm of rain, didn’t get one single spot.
    Cunts one and all.
    Good morning.

  12. Nowt better than after a storm when the air clears,
    Smell of ozone and earth.

    Tremendous!

    People like to whine and grumble about the weather.
    It’s our way.

    Some thin blooded iguana types like it hot.
    They’re wrong.

    Perfect day is a nice ground frost,
    A flask of Bovril and some butties in your knapsack,
    Sturdy boots and thick socks,
    Wooly hat
    And off you go.
    (Dog optional)

    Your looking for elevation
    Higher you get the crisper and fresher the air
    Better the view

    A good sign is if nobody else is about
    You’ve got the place to yourself 👍
    You can sing or whistle
    Whip out your cock and slack your bladder without a blush.

    And feel the icy nibble of the wind on your helmet.

    It truly is God’s creation
    We are very lucky little boys and girls to have such change in our seasons.

    • Ps
      On your travels you may see signs by landowners

      Trespassers will be prosecuted!

      Private! Keep out

      I ignore these.
      Some fat red-faced farmers not the boss of me.

      I have a look round,
      You find all sorts of things!
      Tools, expensive waxed jackets,
      And by the laws of the sea they’re classed as salvage!
      They’re yours for the taking.

      It’s a good idea to take a permanent marker or aerosol of black paint,
      I often write

      FUCK YOU
      On these signs.
      Or
      CUNT

      Farmers like a bit of banter.

    • Too true Mis, Remember when Alfred Wainwright would walk the Yorkshire Moors and hide behind a bolder if he saw someone coming. He himself may have whipped out his willy whenever he felt like it.

  14. Oh might be best mentioning,
    Farmers have access to firearms.

    If they confront you with a firearm best course of action is to run around in a figure of eight manoeuvre and goad him
    They often have dodgy tickets,
    So call him “pig fucker”
    Or tell him his livestock has foot and mouth disease.

    If you see a encampment of gypsies,
    Go over and tell them what machinery you saw on the farm and give them details as to the location.

    Have some hedgehog stew and get your palm read while there.

  15. It’s American insurance cunts. If a storm happens and shit gets damaged, they have to pay out.

    But if it’s a storm that builds long enough to be named, then they don’t have to pay out, it’s up to the insured party to make adequate arrangements to prevent loss.

    Yet more ‘fuck you, pay me’ from corporate America.

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