is a cunt
Sorry, it’s bollocks. I’m practicing it at the moment and on so many clips, you get penalised for clicking early. If the goal of the theory test is to make the roads safer, why on earth are we encouraged to only click when a hazard is developing instead of when we first see the potential for it?
All this crap does is promote reactive as opposed to proactive driving.
Nominated by Opinionated Cunt.
As a committed leftie, OC, what are you doing driving a car?
Surely you’re obliged to ride a bike to combat “climate change”?
Maybe one with a low crossbar, streamers on the ends of the handlebars and a cute little basket into which you can pop your shopping?
47
Hehe…you are awful Cunt Engine.
15
Without taking the test I can only guess that everything on the road is a potential hazard.
If you see something developing up ahead then you should slow down or even stop, but if it doesn’t directly affect you then perhaps you don’t have to register it?
Perhaps you only have to click when the hazard becomes dangerous?
It’s no good being too nervous or you would never get anywhere.
6
Opey the trick is to treat everything as a hazard and respond with aggression.
Works for me anyway.
10
Sorry for being way off topic Admin but another piss boiler from the BBC this morning. It is Stephen Lawrence’s 50th birthday and the cunts at the BBC celebrate this non event with dross entitled ‘Will Stephen Lawrence ever get justice?’
Well, some would argue that he got justice way back in the 1990s and it could be argued that if he had carried on with his dubious lifestyle he would not have seen 50 anyway.
Interestingly, the Beeb post a photo of Stephen superimposed on the statue on top of the Old Bailey – ‘Justice is Blind’. Recent events have shown that to be a crock of shite.
Morning all and once again apologies to Admin.
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I don’t know why this shite doesn’t get ignored, then it will disappear. They will make mountains out of molehills.
8
You have to be a real cunt to take notice of the BBfuckingC. 99% of the population haven’t a clue who Stephen fucking Lawence was or cares.
10
Interesting compare-and-contrast subject:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Richard_Everitt
“In February 2012, politician Richard Barnbrook (then independent, formerly BNP) raised the issue of Everitt’s murder and that of Terry Gregory (2003) in the London Assembly. He questioned why 23 police officers were still investigating the murder of Stephen Lawrence, who was black, yet none were assigned to finding the killers of the aforementioned white teenagers, suggesting there were “hate crime double standards”. Mayor Boris Johnson said that both cases were solved and neither were racist.[20] In a follow-up statement the following month, Barnbrook said that only one person had been convicted for Everitt’s death and nobody for Gregory’s; Johnson replied that both cases had gone to court and judgement was made on the evidence available.[21]”
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Abdul Hai was acquitted but later made a Councillor for the Borough of Camden.
1
Lawrence today, Grenfell tomorrow
3
I worked with a lad who failed his theory on this test multiple times, I’ve heard the same from other people.
I suspect there is a problem with the test as it is designed.
9
A bit like Horizon at the Post Office, and like Horizon it will be denied.
I have driven over 2 million miles and have always been taught to look well ahead. It does 2 things; it gives the appearance of slowing everything down and gives you more anticipation time. Hence if you are clicking too early on the hazard test, which I had never heard off until now, then you should be awarded bonus marks.
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I don’t agree Wanksock.
I think that there is a marked difference between spotting a potential hazard and seeing something that is downright dangerous for you.
If you see something that just requires you to check your mirrors and come off the gas then I don’t think that the test is looking for you to click.
Perhaps they are looking for you to see the difference between that and having to brake and/or alter course.
Think of yourself as a driving instructor and the duel brake as being your ‘clicker’.
By braking so often you would destroy the confidence of your pupil and not get anywhere at all.
3
Agree entirely Wanksock,
As a very careful driver having taken my advanced instruction/test years ago, we were always told to consider every possible scenario as a potential hazard. No need to be paranoid about it – but be prepared for the unexpected.
9
It’s a plot to reduce the number of motorists so we can reach net fuck all quicker. What I would like to know is why especially in Londonstabistan air pollution is such a problem. What’s the point of catalytic converters and particle traps. Pretty sure the exhaust from my current car is cleaner than the fucking air taken in. Obviously the cat has to reach operating temp but hell driving in London the fucking cats must be white hot. That hazard test is bollocks to the nth degree
3
In the header pic I suppose that you are taking the test from the drivers point of view.
Like you are sitting in your car looking through your windscreen.
The van up front is going to cause the motorbike rider to slow down or to overtake.
Overtaking, although having to do so is a bit cuntish isn’t really dangerous.
The rider can see a clear road ahead.
The driver whose point of view we are seeing just has to be alert, but the situation is not a hazard for him.
6
I’ve done the hazard perception test.
There was a trick to it someone told me but can’t quite remember what it was?
I think it’s about being seen to of noticed the hazard ,
I had a dummy version you could use at home on a laptop,
I was hitting it too fast,
My mate said to slow down or double click it so it recognises you’ve spotted the hazard.
You basically need the hand to eye reactions of a drugged sloth.
If you’re that slow to respond good luck hitting the brakes when a kid runs into the road.
5
You never see political bumper stickers over here do you? If you saw some dickhead with a ‘Vote Labour’ or one of those cuntish ‘Lib Dems Winning Here’ would they provoke road rage or a loud well directed “TWAT”. I suppose they are more associated with the U.S as they will stick a political slogan on almost anything.
5
* I’m not advocating for Cunt Engine to nudge OC into the central reservation when he spots his ‘Bollocks to Brexit’ bumper sticker.
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We’ve got more sense LL.
Announcing to the world your political affiliations is asking to have your car scratched or tyres let down
7
Yeah I still like to think of General Cuntster driving around in his Stars and Stripes monster truck with a Trump MAGA bumper sticker Mis. I think defacing/burning roadside billboards with presidential candidates on them must be a national pastime.
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I don’t know what the General drives to be honest LL,
But he’s got plenty of beauties to choose from in the US.
There’s a 1940s yank pickup truck in Tameside that I’m smitten by.
Love to own it.
Say what you like about the Sherman’s they made the best cars ever.
Even I admit that.
Don’t tell him though.
It’d spoil my image 😂
6
Cuntster behind the wheel of a monster truck?
Be surprised if they allow him near scissors, let alone a vee-hickle! 😂
12
The Hazard Perception Test is illegal…. It’s not fitted with any rear view mirrors.
5
But I do think this test needs to be updated, to cover cunts on scooters wizzing about, & single celled amoeba’s wandering around aimlessly on their ‘cellular’ phones. See what I did there?!
6
Indeed Lord S.
Perhaps they should be called Unicellular Phones in reference to the mental capacity of those who use them whilst oblivious to the world around them.
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I’m with you on that Geordie, but it would need to be universally recognised.
5
Think about your average drive.
This would be mine.
Other drivers talking on their mobiles.
People tailgating other cars.
Fucking cyclists.
People with a dog or two on the backseat.
Young drivers with all their windows open and their music at full blast.
AUDI driving cunts.
Caravan towing cunts.
Fucking electric scooters.
Cars on French number plates.
The cunt who has had his indicator flashing for the last 10 kilometres.
Cunts slowing right down to let a passenger take a photo of the scenery.
Little old women driving SUV’s which they can’t see out of.
People driving much too fast.
People driving much too slow.
Cunts cutting in front of you to get onto motorway exits.
Stray dogs running around at the side of the road.
All these are potential hazards even though we will see the same thing every day.
A lot of clicking needed!
No wonder I need a few stiff drinks before I venture onto the roads.
7
Learn from the tortoise and the hare. What’s the rush. Take the bicycle and enjoy yourself. Speed is a necessary evil of course, but use it wisely.
4
Cheers Yoda.
4
https://youtu.be/rV1_7R_3cXA?si=ZvDfRVqW2VzMYesh
Oh, sorry, you haven’t passed yet, still this is what it’s really like. Perhaps you’ll get one where the bumpers and wings keep falling off (with the obligatory spinning bow tie natch).
3
I prefer the dukes of hazzard test..
How quickly you can bust a nut to Catherine Bach, in those shorts.
5
It’s a big milestone, passing your driving test.
Opens up lots of opportunities.
Dunno if your having lessons already Opey?
But finding a suitable driving instructor is key.
I had one who was a right old fanny.
No sense of humour,
I binned him off.
The one I settled with and who got me passed is still a friend now.
He’d swear, take the piss,
Point out girls in short skirts,
Tease me, call me a cunt etc
It relaxed me.
We bounded due to our love of racism, abusing other people and swearing.
We went a Tommy Robinson rally together.
Obviously he wouldn’t suit you but you get my drift.
If your relaxed you’ve just tipped the odds in your favour to pass.
Good luck 👍
Try not to kill anyone (white)
8
Bonded.
Not boundered.
Although are bounders
3
Take MNC’s advice OC. When our kids were learning we found a couple of right idiots. As Mis says just bin them off. You pay a lot of money for driving lessons and for your test these days. (My test cost £1, I guess that tells you my age!) Should always have an ADI sticker in his windscreen. A green one means he is fully qualified, a pink one means he hasn’t yet completed his training but it doesn’t mean he won’t be a good instructor.
Good luck mate and let us know how you get on.
2
They should have a hazard perception test for the Chinese. I’ve never seen anybody as vacant, foolish and dangerous as them crossing a road. They always look three sheets to the wind. If they try and invade Taiwan we’ve got nothing to worry about, All the Navy and Army will have their heads down looking at their phone whilst they invade Vietnam by mistake.
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You have to see things from they’re slitty point of view Bob.
Imagine driving but your looking through Venetian blinds on the windscreen.
That’s how it is for your average Jackie Chan.
6
Never did Rodger any harm in The spy who loved me.
5
Why, was he Chinese?
2
I had to complete this test as part of my HGV training and kept failing it for the same reason, clicking too early. Apparently this was down to riding a MC, we tend to spot hazards early as self survival. As such, the test seems a bit detrimental for new as well as established drivers/riders.
4
There are enough cunt drivers on the roads at the moment, we don’t need any more noobs and shit logs clogging up the streets.
They should stop all driving tests until you pass a fuckwit test and prove you have enough money to insure and maintain a vehicle properly.
If you disagree, you can suck the man snot out of my cock and be happy about it.
6
I was luckily enough to take my motorcycle & car test long before all this started. Although I will say just for a laugh, I have ‘given it a go,’ a couple of times & failed miserably.
3
I really didn’t see this nom coming.
Good afternoon, everyone.
5
Slightly off topic, I’ve noticed that a lot if cars now have their indicators in odd and barely visable positions, for example a mini was turning right into the road I was crossing, the indicator was positioned inside the oval shaped headlights, only to be seen when the car was face on.☹️
As for Audi and BMW cars, why bother fitting them, the cunt drivers never use them.
6
Spot on Cuntalugs. This very morning I was in traffic on a road where a cunt in a Beemer was changing lane and negotiating roundabouts with never a signal. Either his indicators or his brain had failed and I suspect it was the latter. I have often felt that the design of rear light clusters makes it difficult to distinguish one light from another in some conditions. Particularly bad I think are those where brake lights are concentric with indicators. As regards the front indicators on a Mini, well as they are now owned by BMW I guess the designers know they won’t be used so why bother? Just fit them wherever is easiest.
3
Some great driving to be had on woodhead pass, Snake pass and winnats pass Opey.
Great on a sunny day.
Arse slackening on a dark wet night!!
https://youtu.be/P9sg22ajtDc?si=jM6KDXPI9wmwFCtF
3
Love those sort of roads Mis. Once did a high speed run through the mountains from Aberystwyth to the West Midlands in our Capri 3.0S. Artful will confirm what fun was to be had in one of those. Don’t agree with your aversion to the roads being wet though, that just adds to the excitement!
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Evening Arfur
, know your a petrol head and like a bit of Speed!
Yeah those country roads are great for driving although I’ve seen quite a few accidents on.snake and woodhead pass which they shut in winter.
It’s the main route to and from Manchester and Sheffield leading up to the M1.
Can be lethal.
Hey Arfur there’s a fellow poster on here called Civvydog.
He’s got a cracking Scammel truck!
Id rather drive that than a sports car 😁
0
If you want my twopenneth OP treat everyone else on the road like a cunt.
3
Pretty sure one of my testers shit himself when I performed a 360 out side Woolworths in Cardiff. Thought a car was pulling out so slammed on the anchors not a good idea in an air portable Land Rover on a soaking wet road. My tester was hardcore so was not wearing his seatbelt, I bet he wished he was. I failed that test pretty sure his arsehole tension failed looked a right cunt stuck in the footwell the names he called me terrible to hear considering he was a flight Sargent and I a lowly aircraftsman but I couldn’t help laughing like a hyena. The bastards failed me on the next two tests as well but they made damm sure they had a seatbelt on. Funny thing is that when I took my test in civvie street passed first time, same as my bike test. Funny old world as nowadays if I was say transbender I could have parked that landrover upside down in Cardiff docks and would still have passed.cos hurty is verboten
3
Passed my m/c test long before the HPT was a thing, thank fuck, but took a look at a couple of the sample tests today to see how I would cope. Two weeks ago a (real) twatpanzer pulled out of a (real) field into the road ahead of me, very similarly to the tractor incident in the test. If I’d waited till the last moment before hitting the brakes as the test seemed to require, I’d be history, and posting this from the left hand of His Satanic Majesty. AS it was, I’d seen the nose of the twatpanzer and slowed until I knew what he was doing – pulling out without looking, as it happened.
In the test I saw the tractor moving in a field next to the road 100yards away, and being conscious of both the possibility of tractor shite on the road and the likelihood of the tractor rejoining the road (as it did) clicked at that point. Fail.
I would be very surprised if this test increased situational awareness much, or improved drivers’ reactions to a hazard, at all.
2
How old is this cunt learning to drive, I passed my test at 17 and 4 months, first time I got behind the wheel was 17th birthday.
2