is a cunt
*Newsflash 5th Sept.2024*
“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s Royal Correspondent Ron Knee bringing you some astonishing breaking news concerning Prince Harry.
As we all know, Harry is sublimely happy with his Stepford Wife and his life in Monteshitshow, but ever dutiful, he has graciously condescended to consider ‘helping out’ with royal duties temporarily if asked to by the king.
There remains one huge stumbling block to Harry’s return to the fold however. Sources indicate that he will only put himself out if he receives an apology from his estranged brother Prince William.
When appraised of his brother’s self-sacrificing offer, the Prince of Wales apparently replied to members of his inner circle ‘hell will freeze over before one apologises to that arrogant, self-serving little prick. Up the Villa’.
So there we have it. It appears that a British public consumed with a sense of loss and longing for Harry’s return are sadly doomed to be disappointed. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
I think a fight to the death in a Roman amphitheatre is the most appropriate way to resolve their “sibling rivalry”.
The winner gets to feed Megain to crocodiles.
13
If it ended in a draw it would be even more appropriate. Megan can feed herself to the croc.
9
Meghan would probably eat the croc.
8
Personally, I would be not a whit b
bothered if he ( and his Praying Mantis) were to be vaporised, provided I could have a front row seat for the occasion.
P. S. This also applies to numerous politicians and celebrities. I’m sure you
will all have your own favourites.
10
When my new Saturday night entertainment show hits the airwaves “Face The Firing Squad” the first guests will be Harry Hewitt, Mrs Hewitt, Kweer, Reeves, Streeting , Pixieballs and Eddie Izzard
The rules are simple – you have to answer one very difficult question correctly (history will be the subject for Lammy) and if you don’t – you go before the firing squad. The winner each week will be fucked to death by our beautiful hostess, Angela Rayner.
Give them the clap, that they so richly deserve – meet us at Elstree for family fun and blood and guts every Saturday night.
9
Best idea for a show I’ve heard in years, straight out of the Roger Mellie school of programming.
To the future guest list can you add Jeremy Corbyn, Ed Millipede, Carole Bordermort, Katie Price, Owen Jones, Yasmin Alibaba-Brown, Sam Smith and Tessa Dunlop?
2
Journalism, RIP.
This non-story originates from :
‘Sources close to’, ‘inner circle of trusted aides’ ‘friends of’… and could have been delivered, for what it’s worth, in a single paragraph.
Not a shred of integrity, article or the cunt it’s about. Gossip level shit, buried in ads(for shit!)
8
Well it gives the tabloids something to fill up their pages with I suppose;
https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/us-celebrity-news/prince-harry-furious-meghan-markle-33707515
9
I wasnt knocking your sharing of it with ISAC, to be clear Ron.
It exists, cunt help us all, and should thus be held up to scrutiny.
But it/they (the article/tabloids in general) is SO low level. No more sophisticated in content or structure than readers letters to The Beano and Dandy were 40 years ago….
5
Oh I know Cuntem; never occurred to me that you were!
3
Up the Villa
Shame you can’t move the team to a nicer part of the country.
Harry’s coming home, he’s coming home…….
Mr Hewitt will be pleased to have his boy back.
10
The Prince of Wales is the ultimate celebrity fan!
‘The pie and Bovril served in one’s private box at Villa Park are quite sublime! Little Georgie adores them!’.
Morning all.
13
Word of advice Will my boy
Tell your ginger muff faced brother to fuck right off!
9
The shock would probably cause Hazza’s hair transplant to fall out.
9
They are the most unlikely brothers since Del Boy and Rodney.
7
I think I saw a wild theory circulating somewhere about that
2
Just stay in USA it’s the best place for you and your good lady. We’ve got enough shit going on we do not need any more bollocks in the papers. It said, they said, close associate of friend of next door neighbour bollocks to it all pointless shite with purple borders. Just fuck off
7
What a wanker.
7
A perfect three word summation LDC.
1
Unlike most sibling rivalries, this one could be sorted out by a simple DNA test.
Harry wouldn’t be offering to help out with any royal duties once the results of that came through.
7
Just an apology, what about his heart shaped necklace that was broken in the scuffle.
That was priceless, it had dick dastardly and muttley in it.
3
Where’s Mis ? Have I missed something.
2
I doubt Meghan would last long in my love dungeon.
She looks so frail that once I had the scalpel to Rosie Jones’ throat and ordered her to adminster a gentle Lubbocking to Meghan’s mulatto botty, the first thrust of Rosie’s drool-lubed arm would cause an instant pelvis fracture.
5
You may be right Thomas…although I suspect Winfrey has been elbow deep at some point.
3
I daresay that Oprah and Karamel Harris know a few secrets about each other, eh UT?
Imagine the skeletons in their closets?
Speaking of skeletons, I wonder how much is the weight differential between a full Meghan and Meghan minus her skeleton? 10 pounds?
There’s more meat on Calista Flockhart.
1
Thomas, would you be willing to take Diane Abbott in your love dungeon?
Her turds would certainly spice up the festivities.
3
She wouldn’t fit through the entrance, CEO. It’s quite narrow so I don’t get tempted to admit any sexy behemoths, like Gemma Collins. Feeding that hog slops would run to 30, maybe even 40p a day.
3
Nobody cares ginger nuts.Kindly Smeg off dear.Fire him out of a cannon.
4
Another unflushable turd.
4
Aye, this ones a floater.
3
I’m somewhat surprised that anybody still remembers who the fuck he is.
4
Being an unashamed publicity whore probably helps.
3
I do think that you are all being a little bit harsh on this spare prick (if he actually is a spare)… the bearded clam.
1