Prince Harry the Munificent (21)

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is a cunt

*Newsflash 5th Sept.2024*

“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s Royal Correspondent Ron Knee bringing you some astonishing breaking news concerning Prince Harry.

As we all know, Harry is sublimely happy with his Stepford Wife and his life in Monteshitshow, but ever dutiful, he has graciously condescended to consider ‘helping out’ with royal duties temporarily if asked to by the king.

There remains one huge stumbling block to Harry’s return to the fold however. Sources indicate that he will only put himself out if he receives an apology from his estranged brother Prince William.

When appraised of his brother’s self-sacrificing offer, the Prince of Wales apparently replied to members of his inner circle ‘hell will freeze over before one apologises to that arrogant, self-serving little prick. Up the Villa’.

So there we have it. It appears that a British public consumed with a sense of loss and longing for Harry’s return are sadly doomed to be disappointed. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”.

Mirror

Nominated by Ron Knee.

42 thoughts on “Prince Harry the Munificent (21)”

  1. I think a fight to the death in a Roman amphitheatre is the most appropriate way to resolve their “sibling rivalry”.

    The winner gets to feed Megain to crocodiles.

  2. Personally, I would be not a whit b

    bothered if he ( and his Praying Mantis) were to be vaporised, provided I could have a front row seat for the occasion.

    P. S. This also applies to numerous politicians and celebrities. I’m sure you
    will all have your own favourites.

    • When my new Saturday night entertainment show hits the airwaves “Face The Firing Squad” the first guests will be Harry Hewitt, Mrs Hewitt, Kweer, Reeves, Streeting , Pixieballs and Eddie Izzard

      The rules are simple – you have to answer one very difficult question correctly (history will be the subject for Lammy) and if you don’t – you go before the firing squad. The winner each week will be fucked to death by our beautiful hostess, Angela Rayner.

      Give them the clap, that they so richly deserve – meet us at Elstree for family fun and blood and guts every Saturday night.

      • Best idea for a show I’ve heard in years, straight out of the Roger Mellie school of programming.

        To the future guest list can you add Jeremy Corbyn, Ed Millipede, Carole Bordermort, Katie Price, Owen Jones, Yasmin Alibaba-Brown, Sam Smith and Tessa Dunlop?

  3. Journalism, RIP.

    This non-story originates from :

    ‘Sources close to’, ‘inner circle of trusted aides’ ‘friends of’… and could have been delivered, for what it’s worth, in a single paragraph.

    Not a shred of integrity, article or the cunt it’s about. Gossip level shit, buried in ads(for shit!)

  4. Up the Villa

    Shame you can’t move the team to a nicer part of the country.

    Harry’s coming home, he’s coming home…….

    Mr Hewitt will be pleased to have his boy back.

    • The Prince of Wales is the ultimate celebrity fan!

      ‘The pie and Bovril served in one’s private box at Villa Park are quite sublime! Little Georgie adores them!’.

      Morning all.

      • The Prince of Wales is a Villa fan Ron? I presume that means he’s seen them on the telly. I doubt he would know which direction to go to find Birmingham let alone Villa park.

  6. Just stay in USA it’s the best place for you and your good lady. We’ve got enough shit going on we do not need any more bollocks in the papers. It said, they said, close associate of friend of next door neighbour bollocks to it all pointless shite with purple borders. Just fuck off

  8. Unlike most sibling rivalries, this one could be sorted out by a simple DNA test.
    Harry wouldn’t be offering to help out with any royal duties once the results of that came through.

  9. Just an apology, what about his heart shaped necklace that was broken in the scuffle.
    That was priceless, it had dick dastardly and muttley in it.

  11. I doubt Meghan would last long in my love dungeon.
    She looks so frail that once I had the scalpel to Rosie Jones’ throat and ordered her to adminster a gentle Lubbocking to Meghan’s mulatto botty, the first thrust of Rosie’s drool-lubed arm would cause an instant pelvis fracture.

      • I daresay that Oprah and Karamel Harris know a few secrets about each other, eh UT?
        Imagine the skeletons in their closets?
        Speaking of skeletons, I wonder how much is the weight differential between a full Meghan and Meghan minus her skeleton? 10 pounds?
        There’s more meat on Calista Flockhart.

    • Thomas, would you be willing to take Diane Abbott in your love dungeon?

      Her turds would certainly spice up the festivities.

      • She wouldn’t fit through the entrance, CEO. It’s quite narrow so I don’t get tempted to admit any sexy behemoths, like Gemma Collins. Feeding that hog slops would run to 30, maybe even 40p a day.

      • Mr Cunt engine, sir.

        I have never heard anyone vaguely describe Ms Abbott as a sexy behemoth. I’m fairly confident I never will again so will make it my life’s course to keep calling her that in the hope it becomes a household reference.

        I suppose the problem is getting her to turn up at your house considering she can’t count the numbers on the doors.

        You could put a banner up saying “Sexy behemoths welcome here” but you run the risk of Vince McMahon turning up and you could find yourself in a very compromising position. From his recent court case, he does not take prisoners!

  15. I do think that you are all being a little bit harsh on this spare prick (if he actually is a spare)… the bearded clam.

  16. This whining, ginger cunt…..AGAIN? Do I really have to voice what I have on this slavering imbecile, or does everyone recall what I said last time?

  17. I hate, loathe, despise, detest, mislike, abhor, object to, frown upon and disapprove of the Markles.

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