Nicole Kidman

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Oscar winner Kidman has got a new flick out. It’s called ‘Babygirl’. We know this because the meeja’s full of it after its premiere at the Venice Film Festival. Nicole plays a woman who has an affair with a much younger man, and apparently it’s all a bit steamy, featuring nudity, masturbation and s and m.

Now Kidman might be 57 but she’s still fit. If she wants to get her kit off and flash her fanny in return for a (no doubt) very handsome pay cheque, I won’t complain; in fact, I’ll happily look at it all day. Unfortunately, that’s not all there is to it. No, in addition Kidman has to go into full on ‘I suffer and bare my soul for my art’ luvvy bollocks mode when being interviewed about her performance.

She just couldn’t wait to tell us how the film has left her feeling ‘exposed’. ‘The film definitely leaves me vulnerable and frightened and all of these things when it’s given to the world, but making it with these people was delicate and intimate’, she trills coyly. I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely feeling her emotional pain.

She did feel protected during filming though, because it was written and directed by Halina Reijn. ‘That’s what made it so unique, because suddenly I was going to be in the hands of a woman. It was dear to our shared instincts and very freeing. I knew that Halina wouldn’t exploit me’ etc and so forth blah de blah.

Now look love; you’ve made a soft porn erotic thriller in the ‘Basic Instinct’ mode, and no doubt the p.r. for it will play on its sensationalistic aspects. But it’s hardly likely to prove to be a sensual art house classic like ‘Realm of the Senses’. ‘The sacredness of the set’ my arse. Talk about being up yourself. Do us all a favour. Just cut the pretentious arty-farty bullshit, take your money, and go away. Enough already.

Screen Daily.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

66 thoughts on “Nicole Kidman”

  1. All sounds a bit tame to be honest.

    If she was to make a film with no actual story line, which features a red hot lesbo scene with say, Christina Hendricks, a marrow, an industrial size tub of Swarfega and a small Welsh Corgi named ‘Roy’, then I’m in.

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    • To be honest as CEO and Creative Director of Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Ltd, this woman would never have got onto my casting couch. She is not especially attractive and doesn’t have great assets. Where the mammary glands are concerned, I want watermelons. Even Angie Rayner failed the casting couch test. We know she loves cock, and a couple of port and lemons and she’s anybodies, but the knockers were naff – satsumas, not lovely big melons.

      It is just a shame the dykes have faces like bulldogs – Angela Eagle, Kim Leadbetter and Jess Phillips, because I bet they bang like a lavatory door in a gale-force wind, but they are the wimminz that the hajib and burqua were invented for, and again not much in the titty department, despite Jess’s delusions.

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  3. I feel this production could have been exponentially improved if it were shot by W. C. Boggs Productions Ltd. on location at my new and improved love dungeon.
    Nicole would truly have earned her money.
    Although she’d probably have difficulty riding a pushbike for several weeks after the filming wrapped 🖕🤟✊️🤲💪

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  4. I think she’s past her sell-by date, Ron, but then she never really aroused my animal instincts.

    Also, the film sounds a bit tame for modern times, I mean really, no Ellie Simmons look alike?

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    • I’ve always thought there was a touch of the Barbie about her to look at, but I still would.

      But then, as my pal Big Al put it recently, ‘Ron, you’d shag a barber’s floor if it had hair on it’.

      Afternoon all.

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  5. In particular I really loved the bit about the film ‘being given to the world’, as though it was a cure for cancer or something.

    If there’s one thing that Hollywood can match itself for when it comes to wokeness, it’s pretentiousness.

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    • It’s funny how times change Sammy.

      I remember the absolute sensation when it became available over here. Couldn’t get a BBFC certificate as it was deemed so shocking (the ending…ouch!!).

      I saw it at a private club showing with my friend Elaine, must have been some time early 80s. To say that it got us both going would be something of an understatement.

      Nowadays it would be considered tame by many, but it still maintains an incredible air of erotic sensuality for me. It’s a piece of cinema, not a skin flick.

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      • Hi Ron,
        I watched the infamous film when filmfour showed it uncut with the children involved, before going free to air when they had to cut certain scenes.

  9. If she look a bit more haggard and cheap she could play Angela Rayner in the upcoming biopic- I was the council estate bike Norman Tebbit rode to work on.

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    • She’d need to be more than fully dressed with 12 inch shoulder pads and a wire framed dress for that, with a benson and ‘edges hanging out her best heavily accented asset.

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  10. “The sacredness of the set and or the actors space and it never being violated” eh Nicole?

    What a load of pretentious luvvie bullshit. You must have lit a dodgy stick of incense or never heard of Kevin Spacy.

    I watched The Norseman last week and Nicole Kidman was in it, she was awful but so was everyone else.

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      • Evening Cuntalugs, yeah long and dull.

        If Vikings are your thing and the Anglo Saxons, Alfred the Great etc then better to invest your time into series like The Vikings and The Last Kingdom both great watches imo.

  11. Lammy at the conference of cunts.

    “In my first four months”, Lammy continues, “I visited 10 countries, engaged over 20 world leaders and 40 foreign ministers. And what did I tell them?”
    Yes, you guessed it… “Britain is back.”

    Diane Abbott must have done the math.

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  13. She makes it sound as if she’s never got her tits and flange out in a film before.

    She’s done it before in a whole host of films going back to about 1991 and never felt the need to pontificate about it. So why now?

    These Hollywood A-listers do talk a load of old caca.

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    • Imagine the sort of depraved things she’s witnessed and took part in because of her ex-husband and his Hollywood connections.
      (cough – allegedly of course)

      It probably makes all that Dubai port-a-potty stuff look tame by comparison.

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  15. She can stick her didgeridoo up her khaki starfish, the kangaroo bothering airhead. I wouldn’t knob her with Tom ‘thumb’ Cruises acorn fridge raider. Anchovy gene all over that ginga.

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  16. I’d imagine the footage from her casting couch session is very sexy indeed.
    Imagine, however, the casting couch footage for Kathy Bates, Melissa McCarthy and Rosie O’Donnell!
    Phhwwooaarrhh!
    Incidentally, I have a pic that Steven Spielberg emailed me.
    It’s of Whoopi Goldberg during her audition for ‘The Color Purple’:
    https://images.app.goo.gl/n7dkY7c4bD5GZUxA6

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  18. If Dianne Abbott took her clothes off (God, fucking, forbid) I imagine she would look like the putrid contents of an industrial bin liner.
    🚮

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      • And tremble at the thought of being transported, ‘Quantum Leap’ style, LL, into the body of a trembling Jeremy Corbyn, as your consciousness syncs and your first realisation is Diane, her turkish delight lubed up and ready to commence battle, forcing your head beween those monstrous thighs…

      • It’s alright, LL. I never click on Thomas’s links unless it says “safe for JP”.

        He’s very good about that, although one of these days I suspect he might try a jape with one.

        I’m especially careful around Halloween, in case it’s a trick, not a treat, and of course April Fools Day.

  19. I never understood the appeal of this woman. She leaves me cold.

    Apparently, she agreed to marry Cruise for millions and a four-film deal as long as she stayed married for ten years in an effort to cover his squirrel-sphinctering. She applied for divorce after ten years and four days.

    Shit actress.

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  21. If she feels so vulnerable why did she act in the film in the first place? I really believe that most “slebs” have enabled the mechanism that allows them to talk out their bloody arse, literally in the case of some of the closet benders. They all seem to have a very lose grip on what passes for reality in these weird times

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  22. Let’s face it, many of us would’ve got off seeing her get her kit off 20 years ago, but 57 FFS. She’s hardly in her prime and has undergone extensive welding to get through recent MOTs.

    Daft cow should realky be thinking about joining the WI and making some nice jam for her hubby’s toast.

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  23. A mate of mine who works at both Heathrow and Manchester Airports once told me that the four biggest and most obnoxious celebrity cunts he came across were Madogga, Cilla Black, Steve Coogan and Nicole Kidman. He said shw was a total twat.

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    • Can well believe it Norman, esp. in the case of the first three.

      Still, we lesser mortals have to accept that they’re God’s gift to the performing arts.

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  25. Her gingery matted minge hairs look as if she’s permanently on the rag.
    However being 14 years younger than me, I’d be happy for her to give me a wank with the cheeks of her bum.

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