I was recently looking on Youtube for a new recipe or two to try out for a change, when seemingly at random, up popped a link called ‘Top Heaviest Fattest Women in the World’.

Intrigued, I clicked on to view, to be confronted with THIS truly gruesome and grotesque collection;

YouTube.

For crying out loud. I weigh 170 lbs, and the wife weighs 116 lbs. These biffas weigh three or four times our combined weight, and it ain’t a pretty sight.

Now the wife says that she feels pity for these whales, on the basis that ‘they can’t help themselves, nobody wants to be like that’. Sorry dear but I can’t agree. Nobody is born looking like a barrage balloon, it’s achieved over years of dedication to the consumption of pizzas, chips, cake, chocolate and fizzy drinks.

Don’t give me the old ‘it’s my metabolism’ bullshit. Try stuffing your face less and exercising more; make that much less and much more, and then you won’t end up looking like an enormous tub of blubber and lard.

Believe me, you’ll look and likely feel a whole lot better. So will I, not having to look at you. It ain’t rocket science.

Nominated by : Ron Knee