Satellites!

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Anually, the perseid meteor shower is one of the better ones. So having seen the night of the peak was to be largely cloud free and also with a strong summer chance (very rare) of northern lights I took myself and my tent and several refreshments up into the hills to observe.

Yes, the night was largely cloud free which is fairly rare for many meteor shower peaks.

But what I found myself observing was unlike I have ever seen before. Not long after dusk, literally hundreds of satellites passing, distracting my well trained drunken eye.

10 years ago, seeing a satellite was a fairly rare but possible occurence when looking up. Now its a given, lots of em! Nothing against why they exist (ie starlink, bringing ISAC to rural africa) but by fuck do the bright fuckers pollute the sky)

Slippery slope to innocent satellites holding missiles blah blah blah.

But ffs! Lets not corrupt our view of our only way off this forsaken planet

Nominated by Cunt of Peeblesshire.

34 thoughts on “Satellites!”

  1. Back in about 1979 I think, Skylab came down. It’s orbit decayed and it broke up and burned in the atmosphere. Back then I for one had never seen a satellite. One night I was at a mate’s house well up on the south side of Barr Beacon, a hill in Walsall. We went out into the garden to try to get a glimpse of Skylab. For a few minutes we strained our eyes peering at tiny points of light and asking each other; “Is that one moving, is that Skylab?” Then Skylab appeared. It was really shifting across the sky and blazing like it was a big firework ignited nearby, a sight I’ll never forget.

  2. Most of them are part of the Space X star link constellation. Good old Elon Musk… he’s launched 100s recently as part of his space based internet service.

    When first launched they can be seen streaming across the sky like something from a sci fi movie. When they position in their final orbit they have more distance but see one and you will see lots following, a few seconds apart.

    Personally i prefer gazing at a different type of heavenly body. Alexa Thomas over on porn hub is about to get some….

  4. Satellites my arse, I have it on the authority of Marjorie Taylor Greene that they are Jewish space lasers.

  5. I saw a meteor the other week .

    There’s all sort of shite up there.

    Spying on us, russian, chinky, yank,
    The scruffy cunts leave all sorts of crap just floating about.

    That’s what space is.
    Somewhere to tip your rubbish for free.

  6. But did you see the Perseids?

    On a not unrelated topic, did anyone see the blue moon? Or the red one?

    If anyone wants to see a full moon, I’m happy to oblige!

      • Sort of on topic…

        Two yank astronauts are stranded in space.

        Butch(😂 that’s a dogs name!) Wilmore and Sunita Williams were on a 8 day mission when something fucked up.

        They’ve been up there 2 months already.
        NASA said it’s ok we will launch a rescue…..in 2025!!!

        Now call me a pessimist but how much supplies have they got ?

        Bit of a difference 8days and a year.
        If you’ve met a yank they eat like a baby elephant.
        How many Space burgers and powdered Mac n cheese has Butch got?!!

        Fuck that.
        May as well order the coffins now.

      • I’ve been reading about this, have you seen their photos?

        Want to bet that Barry ( Butch!) invented his own nickname?

        Bet he was well pissed off that Buzz was already taken. Anyway, a right pair of dogs they are. I thought astronauts were supposed to be all glamorous and young?

        Still, I suppose that it takes longer to get qualified at astronaut night school.

      • ” my name’s Kevin but everybody calls me ACE”.

        Like that JP? 😂Hehehe.

      • That’s the guy, Mis.

        By day, he’s an annoying, sweaty balding cunt, with an unfortunate permanent nasal drip, but come night he’s Ace!

        Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast.

      • Butch is a lesbians name.
        Maybe he used to be Tiffany?

        Couldn’t imagine anything worse could you JP?

        Stranded in space.
        And as the oxygen runs low
        The air gets stale with sunitas spicy curry farts.

        Open a window and end it all.😂

      • If they were Russian cosmonauts Putin would have broken out the emergency cyanide pills.

      • I will part of the dust in the tail when Halley’s returns. A smudge of colour resembling ox blood D.Ms. that’ll be me then.

  7. “Tens of thousands”. Then I have a plan. As France will not take back its rubber pirates. Why not use Scotland’s Space Centre to propel all unwanted bastards into space. (Humza included )

    What a sight that would make for our Grand children…..”Ooooo look up there Thomas…..that is Mahmood….oh, and behind him…is Anwar and Mohammed !

  8. Maybe all that crap up there is causing climate change.
    Worth a thought.

    Perhaps Professor Turdberg could give us her considered opinion.

    • Course it does Geordie goes without saying.

      Rust showers on the increase.

      Chance of heavy showers in the North and a chance of being hit by the undercarriage of Apollo 13.

    • I’m no eco loon, but constantly punching fucking great holes in the atmosphere with rockets probably isn’t a good idea.

      • Funnily enough my old gran used to say that Odin.

        When we were all worried about deodorants putting holes in the ozone layer

        ” Be down to them(NASA) sending up them rockets.
        They’re bleeding puddled”

        Luckily the ozone fixed itself.
        And it’s now safe to use Lynx again

  9. Seems to me if you’re a billionaire businessman or politician you can fill the atmosphere with lumps of orbiting shite or missiles!
    And fuck the consequences!

  10. I thought that The Donald’s Space Force was gonna zap all the commie satellites. I heard he was putting Dennis Quaid in charge of the whole thing, with the help of a holograph version of Brice Willis. However, Sigourney got mad and threatened to take the Prez to an equal opps tribunal. Never fear, a second term will see him get the opportunity to iron things out and get space sorted once and for all. Kamala Allsorts would be utter shite at sorting out that sort of big picture stiff.

    Good morning, everyone.

    • God yeah.
      I was looking forward to seeing Space force.

      Light sabres at the hip,
      Ray guns locked an loaded.

      To infinity and beyond!!!

      The could make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs..

  11. C-beams glittering in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.?

    All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain”👍

  12. Saw one of Musk’s mass launches earlier this year – little twinkly lights from horizon to azimuth, just like my fucking neighbour’s bastard garden fairy lights. The cunt Musk would be well advised to stay away from me. Hope the cunt explodes.

  13. Dear Jim, please fix it for me to have a Satellite.
    I would like the 426 Hemi V8 one please will an endless supply of 4star.
    Thank you from Cunt in sCunthorpe age 7

  14. Dear Jim with an endless supply of 4star not fucking will from Cunt in Scunthorpe again still age 7 thank you.

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