No Football Hard Men anymore

The caponised (= bollocks off) so called Hingerland hexibition in the Euros was pathetic. I do not call them the Euro Girls because the real England Women’s Team has more balls than the lot of them put together (no comment on their sexuality intended) and has won the Euros. There was a time when England were admired and feared for the physicality of their football. You knew when Nobby Stiles took his teeth out there was going to be some carnage. Likewise Norman (Bites Yer Legs) Hunter who took no prisoners, none that could walk away after.

Johnny Foreigner, principally the Italians and the Spaniards in their tight shorts and oh so tuggable long hair came to cheat and foul aided by bent referees and oh so corrupt FIFA officials. Our lads accommodated them without complaint settling liberties on the pitch, in the tunnel or in the dressing room after. No protection from the officials if you were an England player. You had to be hard and well practised in the shin and ankle spike, the nut to the nose and the raking boot to the inside leg. Nobby was also known to carry his own whistle to confuse matters when in the penalty area.

Thuggery is not just the preserve of neanderthals, it requires skill, intelligence and fine judgement. A different area of expertise in the ‘50s and ‘60s. I recall practising the old Jocko’s handshake, the Glasgow kiss, the Newkie hello, the Sarf Lahndon greeting time and again to get the timing right. Just as the nut is about to come in you drop your head and your opponent ends up nutting himself on your nut you see. “Wasn’t me ref. He done ‘imself guvnor”.

The rot set in with Alf Ramsey. Despised being as common as muck and took elocution lessons to try to speak proper. Only half worked, he ended up sounding like a camp jockey, was in charge during the ’66 World Cup and got himself a knighthood. (Nearest Southgate will get to a knighthood is to say goodnight). Anyway Sir Alf let matters go to his head and tried to clean up the England game by turning it into a numbers game – positional charts, 3,4,2, 2,4,2 – all that malarkey. Plus the fatal concept of holding on to a lead, however slim, to the bitter end because going on the attack exposes your team to counters. Alas Southgate has swallowed that tactic but without the hard men required to patrol the pitch and lock the enemy down.

I leave you to debate the merits of Vinnie Jones as England manager.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke.

Seconded by Sam Beau.

I`d like to second this cunting.

Jack Charlton said he had a `little black book` …

And who could forget Billy Bremner?

Banned for life, he was. That`s got to be the greatest red card of all time – and he wasn`t even on the fucking pitch.

Both played for Leeds, coincidentally: The filthiest team in the league at that time. Great days.

independent

national football museum

97 thoughts on “No Football Hard Men anymore

  1. Leeds john Giles, johnny, was a tough nut to crack.
    About the same size as a terrier but gave back as much as he took.
    Tough times for a foreigner in those days.

  2. Just for the poorly prepared pitches and no undersoil heating alone, besides the heavier case ball when wet, they needed players of steel just to keep the game jogging along, before all the ruff stuff they got away with started.

  3. Van Basten was another underrated hard bastard man, as he had to put up with the most cynical professional fouls, that plagued Italian football at a time.
    He never complained and continued to put he’s skill on the frontline.

    • Van Basten almost floated across the turf.

      Unbelievable grace against a backdrop of hard tackling Centre Half’s.

      One of, if not the greatest centre forward to ever lace up a pair of boots.

      His hat trick against England (especially the first) and his goal on the final against the Soviets in 1988 were outstanding.

  4. O/T, I hope the cunt that stabbed children in Southport today is skinned alive whilst on remand.

    That would be proper justice….☠️

    • That thing, should be suspended slowly into bath of liquid nitrogen and then shattered in pieces

  5. Last real hard men at Manchester United were Jaap Stam and Gabriel Heinze. And that Rafael Da Silva was a gutsy little bugger. Don’t think there is one there now. Bruno Fernandes is a shithouse, as are most of the rest of them.

    Roy Keane is overrated as a hard player. He ducked out of going for Alan Shearer, without a doubt. And I reckon Shearer would have dealt with him easily.

  6. Tommy Smith was a tough cunt.
    Bill Shankly once said of him: “Tommy Smith wasn’t born, he was quarried”.

  7. When I was younger I used to watch Southend and they had a guy called Shane Westley play for them .

    He’d played for Wolves too.

    Somewhat of a cult character there and whenever there’d be trouble they’d sing

    “Westley nut the ref “

    Guy was a dyed in the wool nut job but fucking funny

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