Gavin Plumb

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Gavin plumb. Who dat you ask..

He is the fat, wheezy, heart attack waiting to happen security guard, who was going to kidnap holly willobore..

A 35 stone fantasist, planned to kidnap, rape and murder her.
Seeing as he probably hasn’t seen his winky in a good long while, he is not off to a good start..

Apparently gav had assembled a abduction kit..
Composing of a 12 piece kfc bucket,10 greggs sausage rolls and a diet coke..

Mr plumb pudding aslo had 10,000 photos of Holly on his phone..
One would of sufficed as she only has one expression, surprise..

Though she would of been surprised if professor plump had climbed over her outer wall.

The walrus couldn’t drive and would get out of breathe looking at a pair of running shoes..

Forget locking him up, just strap him to a treadmill, he will be gone in 60 seconds..

ITV News.

Nominated by : Barry zuckercunt

86 thoughts on “Gavin Plumb”

  2. Don’t worry. Willy lover Holly would assist the fat cunt if he couldn’t get it up.

  3. The “Abduction Lovers” website probably crashed a few times last week..

  4. I’m of two minds about this rotund cunt.

    He is obviously a wrong’un – and a cunt – for earlier terrifying of women, and those 16 year old shop girls but the punishment of 15 year sentence for merely planning and talking to fellow weirdoes about fantasies is a bit excessive.

    Heaven and Earth were moved when the Yank cop tipped off our plod.

    Too bad they’re were so slow when one of their own actually committed sexual assaults against non-famous women.

    I can see Sir Mark at Scotland Yard; ‘We must protect tha b’yutiful sche-leb-ra-tees.!’

    I can also see Mr Cunt Engine saying ‘fucking amateur!’

  5. To be fair, if he had gone through with it, he would have done all of broadcasting a favour.

    ..and he would have been disappointed, as she looks like the most boring fuck you could get.

  6. Quite apart from the fact that he’s a hideous sea monster, who would have trouble attracting any woman with a head, he just had to be called Gavin Plumb, didn’t he.

    Never mind, Gav. Big Jock says he’s got a pet snake to show you.

  7. I suspect there is a subject here for Boggs Pornogrphic Film Productions (Taiwan) Ltd in our “real life” series. Our recent remake of the Brides In The Bath case had to be abandoned because Stella Creasy refused to take her knickers off in the bath. Emily Thornberry did the “struggling” scene so well, she and Gavin had the floor in when the bath collapsed due to the weight (60 stone between them was too much for the studio)

    Who is going to play the lovely Holly though?. I suppose we could give Angie Rayner her big break. She is getting fed up as a “hostess” at the Steaming Pussycat Club, Soho, even though she is understudy stripper. She had a small role as second prossie in our remake of Frenzy.

  9. Interesting that a lot of his past misdemeanors were made public during his trial, I thought this wasn’t allowed so as not to predujice the jury.

    Probably because it was the sainted Willoughby he intended to violate….!

  10. A feather in the cap for the police service for tackling such a dangerous criminal.

    I bet that at least 12 fatties were sent round to bravely arrest him.
    Only a few of them would have been armed.
    The others would have only had tazers, pepper spray and night sticks to protect themselves.
    They deserve to be promoted.

    The Greater Manchester Police service should take note and at least make some effort to protect the young girls that are actually sexually abused by middle aged Pákís.
    But they won’t.
    And if they are forced to arrest any Pákí you can bet that they will not get a life sentence from the courts.

    It’s because forcing vulnerable young girls to have sex with elderly Pákís is a cultural thing.

    Talking about kidnap, rape and murder of a Z list daytime television presenter isn’t.

    The man is clearly mental.
    He needs treatment, not imprisonment.

  11. Does this obese cunt wear a T-shirt with a picture of him open mouthed, to let his mum know he wants feeding ?

  12. A song for Gavin Plumb, (set to Blur’s Beetlebum;)

    Gavin Plumb
    What you’ve done
    She’s a mum
    Now what you’ve done
    Gavin Plumb
    Meal for one
    You Tweedledum
    Just get her numb
    Now what you’ve done
    Gavin Plumb

    And when she lets me fap away…

    She turns me on, then i burn all my violent porn
    It feels so wrong
    I just fap away until i’m done
    It feels so wrong
    She turns me on
    I just fap away until i’m done.

  13. Isn’t it sad when obese cunts make themselves look even more pathetic, with that little tuffet of hair on the chin, to let us know where the fat bastards neck begins.

    • Usually it’s the loathsome chinstrap,especially on the peaceful variety of fatty.

  14. Young Gavin came to me a number of years ago seeking advice on tracking, trapping and abducting.
    I thought about taking him under my wing, but I’m not a giant roc.
    “Besides,” I told him, “the entrance to a romance dungeon labyrinth must be quite small and extraordinarily well camouflaged. You couldn’t fit down Jame Gumb’s well, you colossal turd.”
    He seemed quite crestfallen as my advice would have been invaluable.

    • Also, the entrance cannot be in line of site of dungeon interior, with angled walls, and foam egg box panelling must be used…

      Apparently!

  15. One thing baffles me about this fat bastard….

    Holly Willoughy…. Why?
    I can’t stand the bitch…

    • Hi Norman,
      I think its to do with her having this gormless look on her face.

    • Fate has already dealt Pip quite a stout blow, don’t you reckon SV?
      Schofield’s name is now synonymous with homo grooming of a borderline too-young twink.

  17. Excessive sentence,it’s quite clear this was pure fantasy not a realistic plot..

    All Holly needed do if this fat cunt turned up at her house was walk upstairs..there’s fucking no chance he could have followed her without having a fatal heart attack.

    In other news,I wonder if she likes it up the shitter?

  18. I see that obnoxious Hollyweird cunt Alec Baldwin has got off.
    Didn’t see that coming.

    ‘But … But someone else was in charge of the firearms props…’

    But the cunt pointed it as some poor cunt and fired it.

    • There are almost certainly amusing scallywags who are currently photoshopping Baldwin pulling the trigger on Trump’s shooting, eh Norman?!

      • That’s a hoot, Thomas.

        Baldwin’s name should be mud after this.
        But he will make the right anti-Trump noises, and the leftie cunts will keep his career alive.

  19. Another dirty bastard bites the dust, cannot see how the dopey twat would have got through Hollys back door, climbing the fence would have killed the cunt. Anyway what’s wrong with fantasising about some person in the public eye, leather straps 18 “ black dildos, handcuffs, leather whips etc. it’s a free country or not. I bet if the culprit was a member of the alphabet people an mbe minimum would be awarded. Really who gives a shit?

  20. Gavin tries to hard.

    Play it cool.
    When it comes to chicks you need to be a little aloof
    Bit mysterious.

    No Gavin a Batman costume doesn’t cut it.
    Nor does having the same fat content as a pork scratching.

    Up your game Arbuckle

    • The BBC is crammed with celebrity cunts over this.
      Messages from Amanda Holden, Ed Sheercunt, Sanjeev Baskar, Ross Kemp and other bellends.

      Mind you, so has Kate Bekinsale. And I still undobtedly would…

      • Typical…..

        But will Wokegate do the decent thing?
        Will he fuck. We will have another four years of the cunt.

      • All tthe cunts gushing about how ‘great’ Gareth was, especially after the Dutch game.

        But we have tonight seen how limited he is as a manager, and how out of his depth he is against top class opposition.

        As long as Wokegate is there, this sort of incompetence will go on and on.

      • Tonight’s headline….

        Southgate’s England fall short again.

        And again, and agaiin, and again…..

  24. Shame this fat smelly offensively obese cunt didn’t go for Schofield instead.

    I dare say Phillip would have loved it…

    • I don’t know how Porkie would have navigated his way into Phil. Belly mirrors?

  25. Is that his pink and silver butt plug he’s got charging behind him in the nom pic.

    • A 240v ac but plug would be my idea for a lot of cunts in prison…⚡😱

  27. Only Rodney starmer can win with 34 percent..
    Good riddance wokegate you utter clueless turd..

    • Prick will not resign and the FA live the woke yes man, so that’s it for me.

      No more England football for me until that utter wanker has gone and the team is only represented by Englishmen.

  28. Has anyone noticed that he sounds a bit like Bluebottle from The Goon Show?
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/cxx2kgjkwjxo
    The original Bluebottle (Ruxton Hayward) was also a wrong-un:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruxton_Hayward

    Quite rightly banged up. He would have committed other offences if he
    had been left alone.

    The thing I couldn’t work out from the pictures of his kit on the BBC
    was if the leather strap with lips was for her mouth or fanny?!

  29. Sick of seeing the big nosed incompetent cunt. Nobody else goes defensive against one of the best teams in the world on 85 minutes but him. But this being England, in general we love fucking losers. I’m not watching one minute more of this wankers sides. Makes you wonder what the players really think of him. A serial useless twat.

    • Dead right Bob.

      The cunt has had eight years, two World Cups and two Euros.
      How many chances will the fucker get? He should have gone after he lost the 2021 final against Italy, after his decision to let the Three Degrees take – and miss – three penalties in England’s first major final since 1966.

      After that, Wokegate should have focused on making the squad better. But no, he was more concerned with taking the knee for a black criminal waste of oxygen, and ‘educating’ us riff raff.

      I can only hope he does the decent thing and resigns. I’m not holding my breath though.

  30. So there we have it.

    This may be an unpopular opinion but the best team in the tournament by a country mile have taken the title.

    Interestingly enough, England have been defeating Spain in the finals of youth tournaments so you would imagine it’s a natural progression to actually win at senior level.

    Not to be tonight but in the future – who knows.

    Southgate has held this team back with his negative tactics or lack of tactics altogether and has to go.

    No “Sweet fucking Caroline” or “Three fucking Lions” either. Every cloud eh.

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