A nom for ‘Insomnia and deaf signing’.
Being an insomniac and only ever sleeping five-ish hours, I often find myself awake at 5am and, not having to leave for work until 6:30 have an hour or so to kill.
If you watch an otherwise regular program at that time of the day, there’s often a sign language person intruding over about a sixth of the screen. What irrirates the fuck out of me is not the signing, it’s the unnecessarily mọngy facial expressions they always pull. They look like Harvey Price eating his dinner and presumably they’re flinging saliva this way and that.
Stop gurning and get off the screen…subtitles are available for a reason.
Nominated by : Thomas the Cunt Engine
I remember the days when the signing person was discreet in the corner of the TV. Now they take up almost half the fucking screen. There’s no need for them at all really as like you said Thomas, subtitles are there for a reason.
21
Bet you soon changed your mind when the gorgeous bird took over and you were making sign language yourself, that didn’t make any sense.
9
Morning SS/all.
I ought to’ve added to the nom:
they’re always ugly as all hell too.
Surely there must be a decent looking woman who can do it (or a handsome man for the ladies)?
8
Rosie Jones perhaps?
11
Jo Brand for me every time.
6
I don’t believe they are spelling out anything, just trying out new dance moves for that holiday in ibiza..
16
Pa pa americano…
4
Deaf Heads shouldn’t be watching telly anyway.
Poiintless.
No radio, record player, TV.
They should just have books.
It’s distracting some fucker bodypopping on the screen whilst trying to watch cannonball run 2
15
Ps
Also the deaf should give up on any attempt to talk
It sounds weird.
They sound like kier Starmer.
Just have signs with what you want to say in marker pen
Like pubeheaded Bob Dylan used for subterranean homesick blues.
12
Morning MNC…imagine how many generously-minged birds Burt Reynolds managed to plough his way through in the 70’s and 80’s?
Just goes to show that having a nice moustache makes you a stud who’s irrestistable to wimminz. It certainly worked for Freddie Mercury.
10
Morning Thomas 👍
Yeah Mr Mercury was a hit with the ladies like that other gay bloke with a moustache, Magnum.
Ironically tough guy Charles Bronson couldn’t grow a moustache ,
Pitiful attempt.
Like a 15yrolds bumfluff,
Sort of Mickey pierce from only Fools and horses.
Poor Charlie Bronson.☹️
12
Marc Bolan as well before his car accident obviously.
Good Morning
2
Morning Wanksock 👍
Recovery going ok?
0
But I remember Cannonball, Mis. There wasn’t any room on the screen for the deaf signer, especially on the small screens back then. Are you sure he ran. Heart attack would’ve been imminent.
5
Looking forward to watching them commentate the 100m final.
5
I’m looking forward to the Paralympics, HTB.
Fucking hilarious!
10
There needs to be a new event. Amputee/thalidomide front crawl. The race ends when Billy Joel sings ‘Children of Thalidomide!’ in We Didn’t Start the Fire, which starts playing after the whistle.
1
Sign language?
I thought it was some sort of “inclusive” scheme for people with Tourettes.
I don’t watch much telly but never anything with these mad cunts hogging the screen.
An outright disgrace,fight the power Mr Cunt Engine.
Good morning.
5
Wasn’t the sign language geezer at Mandela’s memorial service an imposter and he simply made it all up? That and the fact that O’Bummer and Camoron were both spotted trying to get into the Danish bird’s knickers certainly lightened the mood.
7
Yes GT, the mutton Jeff signer was telling us that the coffin was empty and Mandela had been chopped up and put in a cooking pot and being eaten elsewhere as we speak, or should I say signed.
6
I’ve never understood the gurning bit.
By all means mouth words clearly to aid lip reading, but I can’t see how acting like you’ve popped a couple of disco biscuits and a gram of wizz helps anybody.
And do deaf people only watch telly in the early hours?
I think we need to know.
10
I remember the days when pars only referred to a paratrooper and made up stories at work that a relative of mine was one and wait for the embarrassment on their faces when I meant paraplegic.
4
That dreaded spelling mistake.
2
I can sign language.
Well, a bit.
A deaf football referee taught us when a teenager.
Forgotten most of it now.
For some reason I only remember how to sign for a ‘orange ‘ and ‘ fish and chips’.
So could get by as a deafy.
6
The sign language you’re using in your avatar could not be clearer. 😂
Morning MNC, all. 👍
5
I remember the days when paras only referred to a paratrooper and made up stories at work that a relative of mine was one and wait for the embarrassment on their faces when I meant paraplegic.
4
Have you seen a doctor about that stutter, Sammy?
You’ll never get your dream job as the signer for GMB weather reporter at this rate.
7
School report was, must try harder.
3
I can’t fucking stand it when these semaphore fingered fuckers pop up on screen. I usually turn the telly off but if I really want to see what’s on I hang a tea towel over the right edge of the screen to hide the irritating bastards. The only sign language I’m fluent in is the car window variety.
6
Spot on Issy.
If the sign languager annoys you on telly duct tape a cardboard square over them ,
Hey presto!
You can watch Bargain Hunt without being distracted by them.
Ps
Why hasn’t Thomas Cuntengine thought of this?
He’s supposed to be a aviation designer and engineer!
Come on Thomas,
Duct tape and a cornflake packet are standard tools of the trade at Boeing.
Don’t see why me and Issy should do all your problem solving!
11
Good idea, Mis, I’ll give it a go and still use the tea towel for a bit of ethnic empathy if the sign language is something to do with the Middle East. I’ve just had a thought: maybe somebody will invent an electronic telly-burka to hide these bastards’ contorted faces with a n on/off button on the remote control to remove it when they’ve fucked off.
3
The cunts still stay on screen even if you switch to subtitles which is out of order i think.
Surely if you use subtitles the flid in the corner of the screen is redundant.
3
Have we got any deaf folks on here? Perhaps they can tell us if they prefer the on screen gurning to subtitles. Surely subtitles give you far more information?
4
WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID !!!
5
Surely it’s insulting to deaf people.
Popping their fingers around like a racecourse bookie is one thing, giving it the full mong is quite another.
What they’re saying is “Look. I’m acting like a spacca because that’s what you are”.
Maybe they should aim at incontinence sufferers too by wearing grey trousers and pissing themselves.
7
I used to dread going deaf, incase of not being able to use sign language, due to my fucked up hands from rheumatoid arthritis.
5
You’d just have to make those strange honking sounds like a goose Sammy.
That’s what a lot of deafys do.
I’d imagine being deaf is quite relaxing?
People are noisy cunts.
Bonfire night would be better.
Bet the deaf have low blood pressure?
They probably enjoy it.
7
I’ve got hearing aids for both lugholes. Usually I don’t put them in so I can’t hear the missus.
Impaired hearing is the best thing that ever happened to me.
7
For years, Mis, I’ve used Quies, the anti noise wax earplugs. My hearing is so acute, I could hear a cockroach fart ten miles away. They also help due to living near the sea and shuts out the seagulls cackle and ships foghorns.
2
That reminds me Mis, the comment you made about some numpty honking like a goose and getting in a fight is what made me piss me strides!
At least I think it were you that said it.
2
I must’ve misconstrued you all, when I meant IF I went deaf.
1
the nhs should offer an eardrum perforation operation like a vasectomy for your lugholes for when you’ve had enough of all the racket and bullshit constantly assaulting us into today’s glorious new modern utopia, or indeed just for when the other halfs nagging has become unbearable.
4
I would love a nag filter
2
Always during the professionals or the sweeney on itv4. Wonder how a signer would cope with an adult film, asking for a friend.
4
My mum never let me watch the Sweeney when it first came out, I was a bit young. I’ve been trying to catch it ever since but I simply can’t watch it with that gesticulating cunt in the corner. He distracts me so I don’t see the programme and I don’t understand what he’s signing either.
1
Save time by watching the signed version of Deutsch Plus in the early hours. You csn learn German and sign language.
Detractors of signing should be aware it might be the only way to save them from a rampaging chimp.
0
In an equal opportunities world ‘sign man’ could be dyslexic.
Sign man could also be thick and not do ‘big words’
Sign man could be a puff or a gentleman of colour and only sign about ring pieces and knives.
Sign man could be telling you anything.
Sign man might be a cunter and tell the hard truth.
Sign man could be a cracking job.
Sign man could sabotage Jamie Olivers programs.
🥣🤮🪣🍴🤌🤌🤌🤌
4
Oh yes!
What a wonderful notion.
” Hey up, you mockney cunt, that recipe for biscuits was absolutely shite!
I knew 8 ounces of salt was too much.”
1
I speak fluent sign language.
1
I agree with this nomination. Watching these silly cunts pulling faces and waving their arms about is so off-putting. No need for all of us to be subjected to it.
2
Always wondered, is the universal hand movement for a wanker for non deaf people, the same for deaf people??
1
Every time we have a disaster in America some cunt politician has one of his/her hacks standing there wiggling his/her fingers while they blow smoke up your ass about how much they’re doing to deal with said disaster.
It’s the only way the deaf know they’re lying…their fingers are wiggling.
3
That’s why fart smell,it’s so even the deaf can appreciate them
3