Chopstick Users

Posted on by


I’m not talking about the third of the world’s population that were born to use chopsticks.
Those sneaky, yellow fuckers deserve their own cunting.

I’m talking about the smug bastards who think that they are impressing people when they use chopsticks.

Go to any Chinese restaurant on any night of the week and there will be at least one cunt, perhaps even a table full of cunts who insist on ‘living the experience’ by eating with these ridiculous things.

Who the fuck do these people think that they are?

They are certainly not impressing the waiters.
The waiters have been using chopsticks since they learned how to feed themselves.
They are just amused by the efforts of westerners.
They probably chat amongst themselves “又一个他妈的贱人” (Another fucking cunt).

They don’t impress any of the other diners in the restaurant.
They just think that they are wankers.

How many hours have these dimwits spent at home practicing, using elastic bands?
How many shirts have they ruined by dropping food on themselves?

These are the people who order a Chinese takeaway and ask for it to be delivered with chopsticks.

After many hours of practice and hundreds of failed attempts they go to the local Chinese restaurant.

Fucking idiots.

You think that you sound sophisticated by insisting on using chopsticks when everyone else uses a knife and fork?

You think that other people will regard you as well travelled?
You’re not.
You might have been to an international hotel in Hong Kong where there was a 15 minute demonstration on how to use chopsticks, but that just makes you a bigger cunt.

Do these same people go to an Indian restaurant and eat with their hands?

If I was Chinese and owned a restaurant and someone asked for chopsticks I would give them a plate of peas as well.

See how you get on with them, you cunt.

Nominated by : The Artful Cunter

119 thoughts on “Chopstick Users”

  1. The chef at our local Chinese restaurant owes a lot of money to the Chinese Mafia and he can’t pay.

    He’s a dead man woking.

    I’ll get my coat.

    • If he owes them money it’s unlikely they’ll kill him.

      Probably just beat him hammer and Tong.

      Hold that door on your way out.

  2. You have to be impressed with the Chínks who still use chopsticks. The fork was probably invented a thousand years ago, yet there are the Chinkzillas, still stoically, stubbornly, persistingly picking up bits of sweetcorn or eating cake with these Stone-Age twigs.

    The nomination is correct. Westerners who attempt to imitate the rice-monkeys are fools. The Slopes simply grab a load with their twigs, then shovel it into their gobs, sucking like Angela Rayner seeking votes at a Mosque.

    Indeed, you’d have to be a cunt to go to a restaurant run by de Peepur’s Lepublik of China. You’d be better off eating the dogs, cats, and rats with a fork.

  3. It’s like a literary bar room brawl on here tonight.

    I’m picturing cheap looking chairs getting smashed over the back of an unsuspecting cunter and another one getting a tap on the shoulder to turn around before eating a right cross.

    All while piano player sits banging out slapstick melodies with a big smile on his face.

    Evening all.

  4. I use chopsticks in authentic Chinese restaurants.

    You pile rice in the small bowl.
    You use the chop sticks as pincer, to pick up a piece of chicken, beef, etc.

    You hold the bowl under your lower lip, and use the chopsticks like a shovel, to push rice in, like stoking an oven, with an occasional bite of your chose meat/fish/tofu.

  5. I used to go out with a Chinese lass.

    She was most at ease in crowded places.

    Ming Ling her name was.

  6. All i learnt in Asia was that you cannot trust anyone you can blindfold with a shoelace.

  7. I’ve been to places where they give you chopsticks, so I used them. Not wanting to look like an ignoramus and ask for a knife, fork, spoon, I went with the chopsticks.

    I don’t have a problem with them; prevents you shoving it down, Jade Goody style.

    • I quite agree. Living and working in Asia, I go with the flow. However, I draw the line and eating with my fingers, unless it’s western or ‘finger’ food ie BK, McD etc! To be honest, most of them here will use a fork and spoon while eating, anyway!

Comments are closed.