Getting Older

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isn’t it? (This just in from the ‘cry for help’ department – NA)

Being one of the slightly more junior contributors to this fine site (just turned 52) and being fit as a fiddle, age is still creeping up like a Rotherham taxi driver on an unsuspecting underage girl.
Despite running, rowing, doing moderate weights, only eating in a daily 2 hour window and enthusiastic wanking like a chimp in a safari park over some disgracefully horrific material, I can feel my body and eyesight deteriorating week by week.

Do any slightly older cunters have any sensible suggestions for any useful supplements?
I already take cod liver oil and garlic on the odd occasion I remember.
A genuine thanks for any advice offered.

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Nominated by Thomas the Cunt Engine.

95 thoughts on “Getting Older”

  1. Not older than you, but take glucosamine sulphate with your cod liver oil if you want to support your joints.

  3. Tried all of them and surprise Surprise no change, if you work hard your knees get totally fucked.
    Reply to this in 20 years and let no know how you are.

  4. We all come off the conveyer-belt expected to work. Its potluck if some silly cunt forget a nut, bolt or washer.

  5. You can only delay the inevitable with good diet and living. The body becomes a shell of its former self eventually.
    A word of advice though, alternate hands when wanking as much as you say so you don’t end up with one over developed arm like a fiddler crab.
    Afternoon all.

  6. Well I’ve been out for a hike in the woods,smoked 3 coffin nails,had a steak pie followed by some French brandy.

    It’s not even mid afternoon.

    Fucking Good Show.

    • There’s a lot to be said for healthy food and exercise, but mental fitness is also important. I find that visiting a site such as ISAC and calling the people you don’t like fit to burn does you a power of good.

  7. Don’t reckon you’re doing too bad Mr Engine I’m only a couple of years older but considerably more fucked by the sounds of it. 2 flights of stairs would have me gasping for breath.
    This is not a dig at yourself it’s quite the opposite infact, I think you’re doing everything right to be healthy.
    Keep active keep cunting, best wishes mate.

  8. it’s my birthday today and I am celebrating with hookers and blow.

    Fuck old age. I’m not planning on living long enough to experience it.

    I suggest you do the same, Thomas.

  9. Pussy. It keeps you young. Stop shagging and your body things you’ve finished with it and goes to seed.

  10. Thomas the Cunt Engine,
    why don’t you come to your senses,
    you been committing offences for so long now.

    You’re a wrong un,
    but I know that you got your reasons
    These things that are pleasing you (like weird hentai, bondage p0rn) can hurt you somehow.

    • Seriously though Thomas, you’re in a better position than a lot of people around your age.

      Some good advice been given already.
      Stay away from the news – it’s toxic
      Exercise your body.
      Keep your brain active.
      Avoid processed food.
      Limit your alcohol intake.

  11. Having had a somewhat “late Victoria” upbringing I would advise against frequent self abuse. Medical science circa 1870,s suggest that self abuse may cause failure of the eye sight, weakening of the musculoskeletal system and a general lethargic outlook to life with the added benefit of hairy palms. I would suggest a low protein diet which will lower the baser urges. Kellogg’s cornflakes were formulated to reduce the incidence of self love and are still on sale. For boys on the verge of puberty various devices were available that attached to the member and by means of sharp spikes made boners near impossible and very painful. These items were locked on no joke

  12. The greatest thing about old age is that you only have to do it once…

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