I have always been a good looking bastard.
Pulling top notch totty was never a problem for the Artful Cunter.
I have been out with a few models, one of them a Sun page 3 girl and one beauty queen.
No relationship lasted too long.
The girls were good to look at and good to be seen with, but I found them self obsessed and not particularly good company.
A bit dim really.
One girl used to get up at 4am every morning to do her hair and makeup even though she was only going to do her mundane day job.
It would take all of them hours to get ready for a night out and of course they couldn’t possibly be seen in the same clothes twice.
Constant diets meant that taking them out for a meal was a fucking nightmare.
Meeting Mrs Cunter was a pleasure.
She was and still is stunning.
An international sportswoman who is still as fit as fuck.
As far as I know she has never been on a diet and will eat anything when I proudly take her out.
She looks at least 20 year’s younger than she actually is.
She fits easily in the few clothes that she still has from 40 years ago.
She rarely wears makeup. She doesn’t need to.
Compare past models, beauty queens (and Mrs Cunter) to today’s beauties.
It’s refreshing to see that good looks and a good figure are no longer important in winning beauty titles.
Take Sara Milliken, the new Miss Alabama.
Being pig ugly and having several chins have not held her back.
Morbidly obese with a shape similar to a wheely bin.
Not a curve in sight.
The lucky cunt that gets hooked up with Sara won’t have to wait ages for her to get ready for an evening out.
She will just need to put on her culturally appropriated wig and off you go.
He won’t have to worry about where to take her to eat.
Quantity of food will win over quality every day of the week.
Any ‘All You Can Eat’ buffet that she hasn’t already been banned from will do.
Sara. You are an inspiration to all young women.
Nominated by The Artful Cunter.
Also, she`s a Geordie and totally unfunny.
🤢🤮
16
Not bad for these fat cunts. They’ll have a wheelchair and chemical toilet under all that material. I’m glad the hot weather is keeping the likes indoors, having them using soothing creams to all their folds of skin to ease the pain.
9
I am fantastically good looking and like to go out so that the mingers and munters in the High Street get a chance to see what they cannot possibly have. I sometimes smile in their direction and it makes them so happy they bump into each other. Mrs Twenty says it is cruel.
16
Activewear for fatties, you have to laugh.
Pert tits and a tight little arse, anything more is pointless and as for miss Alabama, lard on legs.
12
The fatter they get, a touch of Down Syndrome seems to emerge in their facial structure. It appears to be in keeping with both having a shorter lifespan.
11
The fortunate thing is that because of their morbid obesity they tend to have short life spans.
8
Even if yhe target of the cunting won because she ticks a box, I preferr the company of a normal curvy woman than some pretty but vspid clothes horse, and concur with Bill Burr on the issue of models/beauty pageant types. Sure they make a nightclub more money through simply being there but have you tried talking to one?
They have no personality and don’t understand humour.
I have an old school friend who used to work at a lad’s mag and says most of the models are incapable of maintaining any sort of adult convrrsation and are literal-minded to the point od being special needs. He’s a tall good looking bloke and since married a teacher, so no incel tendencies. Even on nights out these models are duller than two hours in Carpetright.
9
With the Muzak previously, its fitting in nicely with the now grotesque forms that are mistaken for the humans.
6
Old Lady Nugee has been reproduced as a clone, according to the heading picture. Dozens of big beefy snobbish old bags all wearing knickers with a generous gusset and a photo of Kweer to cover the crotch.
7
I hope for the sake of the judges and spectators, they didn’t bother with the swimwear parade, the very thought of it is giving me the dry heaves.
8
Plain or even ugly birds are better in the sack, providing they are not chubby. Much more likely to know how to handle a cock and please a man. More likely to be decent company as well. Dolly birds are useless at most things other than looking good, and they depend on the attention. Rubbish at cleaning, crap at cooking, usually dense, and garbage in the sack. Always waiting for the opportunity to monkey branch to some richer bloke she can sponge off.
As for the fatties, they should be encouraged to lose weight not put it on, and let’s stop having photos of them. It is unsightly.
The quality of women in the UK is an absolute fucking disgrace in general. Entitled 4/10s thinking they’re amazing because thirsty simps online keep sucking up to them and liking their misleading photos. I blame the internet for that. Also feminism. What man wants to spend time with a boss girl who thinks she is a leader? It’s enough to turn the young men celibate or gay. Eastern Europe is very different. 70% of the birds you see on the high street would be considered beauties here. Wonder why?
The purple haired, grossly tattooed types are signalling their poisonous nature the way strange coloured insects and frogs do. And women encourage fatties because it furthers their own mating strategy. Body positive movement is a pack of lies.
Glad I’ve got a decent one and don’t need to bother with all the other cunts.
16
‘Not a curve in sight.’
How the fuck do you work that out, she’s practically spherical.
11
Hello Moggie,
I think the term you’re looking for is “Oblate Spheroid”,or planet shaped.
1
I’m a pervy bastard and have always found the dirtiest birds are the ones that don’t think they are catwalk models.
Do you want some bird who makes you look good on your arm, or do you want a good dirty fuck with plenty of pissing and anal?
13
Nail on head there mate
6
Big and bubbly? You should see Mrs Gravy these days…!
5
Sowee soweeee here piggy pig pig!
Get your arse on this bacon slicer.
13
I’m fucking stunning, me. An absolute exemplary looking man, to be honest.
Any of these lardy broads would be arsehole fucking lucky to catch but a glimpse of my fine features.
8
Sounds like TAC is offering Mrs Cunter as a model for the inaugural edition of
‘Is a Cunt Readers Wives’.
6
I’m that good looking that angels weep.
Always had my pick of girlfriends.
Nowadays I’ve got a massive mountain man beard to tone it down a bit,….they still find me irresistible. !!!
Must be hard going for lots on here?
Shyness that is criminally vulgar,
Or so hideous that you get mistaken for gargoyles?
Anyway, I like a bit of meat on a lass,
Few curves, big threepennys,
Magical 🤎
7
Me too, can’t stand the anorexic types. Love handles are seriously underrated.
6
You pulled a page 3 girl Artful? Was it Linda Lusardi? I bet it was wasn’t it you bastard? As for your good looks obviously I’ve no idea but you must admit the car was not exactly a hindrance, a real fanny magnet. At an early age I picked up the useful information in that department from one of the James Bond books, don’t ask me now which one. As Ian Fleming wrote half an hour at three-figure speeds and usually you could have your way with the girl beside you. Of course that was in the days before cameras everywhere. Spoils the fun.
6
Fat birds always swallow.
Habit for life.
Remember that.
6
Not Linda Lusardi and thankfully not the (now) carpet muncher Sam Fox.
It was at that time though Arfur.
Being a gentleman I will not tell.
6
My old face looks like its been set light to and beat out with a coal shovel ,have to get the milk in with a bag over my head to prevent it from going sour before it gets to the fridge, if I was working at a cattle farm when the ai man was there I had to keep whistling or I’d end up with a straw of top grade bull semen in me gob, but even I would draw the line at they huge old bullocks, absolutely vile looks like they been fattened up for market.
7
That’s not a “plus sized model”, that’s a fat, ugly pig. Calling her in the positive is no different to putting lipstick on the aforementioned.
7
They used to say about fat birds,
” she’s got a lovely personality”
Still fucking fat though…🐷
10
I’ve slept with a few chusters in my time. They always smell odd, a bit like the negresses I’ve fucked. One Saffer I fucked was an Indian who was a tad flabby. Good on the sack, lovely funbags, but she smelled funny too.
I had a gorgeous German bird who was an au pair and we went out for a while until she returned to Bremen. She came over several years kater for a dirty weekend and she had piled on the pounds. I still gave her some English sausage though.
Jimmy Carr: I’ve never slept with two women, but I’ve slep with a girl who was so fat it counted as a threesome.
9
Ask them if they mind if you wear a peg on your nose Maggie 😷
4
I tried to encourage the Indian saffer to have a shower , but she smelled the same afterwards. It’s that “corpulent person” smell.
7
Sweaty arse and chip fat.
5
How many buckets of chicken, burgers, crisps, cakes, chips , biscuits, chocolate and sugary drinks do these people consume to end up like a Sumo?! The mind boggles. Is it alcohol? 10 pints and 2 kebabs and chips for dinner everyday?
7
It’s a mystery to me also, Cuntologist.
I’m assuming they didn’t weigh 2 stone at birth, so how the fuck do they end up looking like human zeppelins?
It’s not attractive, it’s causing health issues that put a further strain on the Health Services,you and I pay for.
Both my lasses are overweight, but they know they are and are doing their best to trim up. It’s a fucking puzzle to me, as I’m tiny and so was my partner.
Two chihuahuas, and we got x-l bully’s??
6